37 posts • joined 4 Apr 2007
Re: Peak Apple?
Well they've been selling horse-apples for years...
Bill Hicks had it right.
By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing… kill yourself.
No, no, no it’s just a little thought. I’m just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they’ll take root – I don’t know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself.
Seriously though, if you are, do.
Aaah, no really, there’s no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan’s little helpers. Okay – kill yourself – seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you’re going, “there’s going to be a joke coming,” there’s no fucking joke coming. You are Satan’s spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It’s the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself.
Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, “he’s doing a joke…” there’s no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a Yank friend – I don’t care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking makinations. Machi… Whatever, you know what I mean.
I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, “Oh, you know what Bill’s doing, he’s going for that anti-marketing dollar. That’s a good market, he’s very smart.”
Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scumbags!
“Ooh, you know what Bill’s doing now, he’s going for the righteous indignation dollar. That’s a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We’ve done research – huge market. He’s doing a good thing.”
Godammit, I’m not doing that, you scum-bags! Quit putting a godamm dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet!
“Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill’s very bright to do that.”
God, I’m just caught in a fucking web.
“Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market – look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar…”
How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don’t you?
“What didya do today honey?”
“Oh, we made ah, we made ah arsenic a childhood food now, goodnight. Yeah we just said you know is your baby really too loud? You know? Yeah, you know the mums will love it.”
Sleep like fucking children, don’t ya, this is your world isn’t it?
Are you seriously suggesting that the camera is better than the Nokia Pureview 808?
Re: This continues to amuse
I think it's more accurate to call it self-abuse...
Re: But didn't you know?
War Against Norks and Knockers, surely?
I had an emergent truth this morning, then I flushed - as should be done With Old Mother Hubbard's tedious nonsense.
Don't get me started on Firmwares
I've got an older Panasonic 32" that has an annoying habit of not switching on intermittently. A problem that's apparently fixed with a firmware update. A firmware update that should automatically happen over DVB. Except Panasonic never seem to release their firmwares via DVB and require you to take your set to the local Panasonic centre where they relieve you of 90 quid to install it from card.
Wouldn't you love to see the look on his face
if when he turned up to start his jeebusPhone vigil, there were others that had got there before him?
The music industry....
I hate that term. The creation of art that so touches and moves the human spirit should NEVER be an industry.
where does this leave homoeopathy?
Same place it's always been. Up the brown smelly river not only without a rowing implement, but without a canoe either.
"Do the rise of cloud computing and the outbreak of peace on open standards in the browser mean programmers will be forced to find new ways to make money online?"
It sure do!
@ Paul Smith re. Swine
It'd only be sad if the courtroom was only half-full.
Chuck Norris drunk?
It can't be true! There's not enough alcohol in the known universe to get Chuck Norris Drunk!
Some years back I cut off my dreads for a woman, and not too long ago my mohawk went the same way for similar reasons. It wasn't gone for long though. :)
55000 morons on the loose alert!
Someone please explain to me what kind of moron tilts their console about? Do these same people tip their dvd players up whilst they’re watching a film? Perhaps after loading the dishwasher, they lay it on its side? No? Well they should be told not to be so fucking stupid with their consoles then.
@ Dick Osbaldeston
Obviously somebody cares, otherwise there wouldn't be a dialog going on between a few people - including yourself since you've decided to post your opinion about it. If you don't like the direction the comments are reading, might I suggest that you either go read something else, get over yourself, or - and this is my personal favourite suggestion for you, go and find someone to beat you with a clue-stick.
@ Jason Clery
Did the person who got knifed get knifed because someone takes drugs or because drugs are illegal and therefore expensive? And anyway, do you blame the addict? A victim (in your world anyway) of the person who got them addicted to the substance in the first place?
The parents blame the drugs for the death of their kid, but what if they found their kid dangling from a rope in the family home. Do they blame the rope? BAN ALL ROPES!
It must be nice to live in a world that's so black and white, cause and effect so easily linked and a scapegoat so readily available. When you get bored of living in your fantasy world, come try the real one.
Personally, I haven't touched drugs or alcohol in years and have no intention of doing so ever again, but I fully support the legalisation and proper distribution of narcotic substances if that's what people want. I also fully support a help workshop for people like yourself who appear to be suffering from a severe case of rectal/cranial interfacing.
@ Speechless Sarah Bee
Now there's a first! :P
Doesn't malware 'freely distribute' itself as part of its job description?
"then force feed the murdering git Big Macs till he explodes."
And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.
Oh sir! It's only a tiny little thin one.
No. Fuck off - I'm full...
Oh sir... it's only wafer thin.
Look - I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.
Oh sir, just... just one...
Oh all right. Just one.
Just the one, sir... voila... bon appetit...
I think having a breathable atmosphere should come pretty high on anyone's list of priorities - that is of course unless you're a complete fucking moron. What kind of small-minded provincial muppet buries his head in the sand over important issues like this?
I think you'll find, as you're choking to death, that having a negative balance in the whole financial fantasy game, or that there's a family of mexicans in the house next to you will seem like very trivial matters to get up tight about indeed.
Sadly a spell-checker wouldn't have helped as although looser is the wrong word, it's actually spelt correctly although I much prefer tighter word processors.
Best laugh in ages.
Why would anyone consider that talentless little tickturd Gervais
Suitable for any role, even a cheese and tomato one.
A round of applause to Dodge
I totally concur.
Anyone else consider that this is very probably exactly what they meant.
"These were quickly reinstated by Wikipedia’s editors. We will endeavour to make sure that this does not happen in the future."
Well the headline is a slight variation on the norm....
Beause it's usually "Man cuffed to lamppost for sex outrage", normally after a particularly drunken stag-night.
@ Rob Grant
Sitting on a phone that can change its shape might not be such a good idea. What if the nanotech decides to reshape to fit the available orifice. Now whilst some might find this to be a good, nay enjoyable experience........
And the definition of an expert?
An ex is something that has been, and a spurt is a drip under pressure.
Personally I've always wanted to see this film with decent effects
The original was a case of excellent story, laughably shite special effects.
Bring it on I say
@ b Shubin
Don't have a problem with living in interesting times - it's dying in them that I'm not so enthusiastic about....
Don't know about ChristX and Halloween/Guy Fawkes all merging into one big blur - It's the fact that they end up clearing the xmas decorations off the shelf to make way for the easter eggs that gets me. We haven't even got over celebrating Jeebus' birth before we're gearing up to celebrate nailing him up to a lump of wood!
Trespass is a civil, not criminal offence. You can't have someone arrested for trespass (unless it is aggravated trespass), neither can you impede their egress off the property. All you can do is ask them to leave/call the police who will ask them to leave.
People are so quick to judge by appearances
Firstly, they look pretty cool. Secondly, they apparently make very good pets, and thirdly, well go read this article from 2004.
What a brilliant Idea!
Because I really want to advertise the fact I have something worth stealing to all the crackheads after a fix everytime I go to answer my phone.
Monster Rabbits ate Godless N Korean Commies
That would solve the problem of what to feed the rabbits, but would leave a bunch of giant carnivorous german bunnies with their fingers, (paws), on the trigger.
Last I looked, Microsoft doesn't market or sell PCs
So why should they be held responsible for the mis-marketing of various PC builders who are the real culprits here. Microsoft have been guilty of many things - this isn't one of them however so let's assign the blame to where it truly belongs.
- Vid Hubble 'scope snaps 200,000-ton chunky crumble conundrum
- Bugger the jetpack, where's my 21st-century Psion?
- Windows 8.1 Update 1 spewed online a MONTH early – by Microsoft
- Something for the Weekend, Sir? Why can’t I walk past Maplin without buying stuff I don’t need?
- Review 'Mommy got me an UltraVibe Pleasure 2000 for Xmas!' South Park: Stick of Truth