Feeds

* Posts by DJ

28 posts • joined 25 Feb 2008

Pirate Party wins seat in European Parliament

DJ
Joke

FSM

Now that there are more pirates, does this mean the end to global warming?

http://www.seanbonner.com/blog/archives/piratesarecool.jpg

0
0

Go, Brown, go!

DJ
Flame

If only

I still had a valid UK address.

Who elected him in the first place?

0
0

Google debuts JavaScript playground

DJ
Flame

Internet Explorer browser share

The opening premise seems to be incorrect.

http://www.w3schools.com/browsers/browsers_stats.asp

IE7 25.4%

IE6 17.4%

IE8 0.8%

Firefox 46.4%

Chrome 4.0%

Safari 3.0%

Others 2.2%

0
0

Come on, Sir Tim!

DJ
Joke

@amanfrommars

Either your getting more coherent, or i'm starting to understand the master plan.

0
0

Sadville transports shaggers to porncentration camp

DJ
Joke

Main continent, new content

Need lots of tumbleweed spawners on the main continent then.

0
0

French yoof offered Halo-esque electric buggy

DJ
Joke

Just what we need

It's not enough to drive on French roads where the local population don't know what indicators are or how to use roundabouts, or the electric cars where you don't need a license. And now 16yrlds without a license can drive on the roads as well.. My next vehicle will be a main battle tank!

0
0

Protostar steers out Lampo 'leccy sportster

DJ
Joke

Fourth letter is incorrect

No matter how many times I read that it still comes out an "n"

0
0

Microsoft courts customers for search help

DJ
Coat

But Microsoft can't do searches.

Anyone that has tried to find an article on msdn with the msdn search will tell you that.

I like the idea of PubCenter, although I like to call it a Bar . Two pints please landlord!

0
0

Wanted: £160k-a-year Twittercrat

DJ
Pirate

Oh first twitter

@govermenttwittercrat Muzzle Wacki Jacqui on topics she knows 0 about.

0
0

US gambling capital bans iPhone card counter

DJ
Pirate

Not just vegas

I was watching a program on the history of card counting a while back, and a gang that got kicked out of vegas were also kicked out of monaco casino's because the same face recognition software and database is used around the world.

0
0

Beeb borrows copyrighted Flickr image

DJ
Thumb Up

Take the money and run!

75 quid for a photo isn't too bad.

0
0

Brum laid bare on OpenStreetMap

DJ
Thumb Down

walk in the woods

Seems that someone took a walk through the country park near my moms, and suddenly there is a major road there! Good look getting up the waterfall in your 4x4 :)

DJ

0
0

Jacqui Smith cracks down on gangs via computers, closets

DJ
Unhappy

And scalfs?

In this slightly chilly weather, covering your face with a scarf is going to get you thrown in the slammer?

0
0

Doner kebabs: Death wrapped in pitta bread

DJ
IT Angle

I remember a C4 program

where an attractive young lady went on a kebab a day for a fortnight diet, she turned into your average spotty overweight chavette in 14 days.

0
0

German engineers punt 'open source' OLED-clad car

DJ

So how do you register it?

Colour: Currently showing windows XP blue screen of death on the bonnet, green on top and large offensive lettering on the rear window.

0
0

Violet Mir:ror DIY RFID kit

DJ
Thumb Down

I looked at this at christmas.

And I was tempted to buy one, now I'm sure that it's pointless.. thanks.

0
0

Barclays cuts more IT jobs

DJ

Barclays crises incoming

In banking it's usually those with no set role or definition that do the actual work, those that know how the 20 legacy systems interconnect and what to do when it goes wrong.

0
0

Mobiles finally admitted to English hospitals

DJ
Gates Horns

Mobiles are dangerous in hospitals.

anyone making a phone call near me while I'm having my last words with a dying relative gets a punch in the face.

0
0

Big Blue urged to open Notes and Domino

DJ
Dead Vulture

Don't listen to them IBM

Notes and Domino are the biggest pile of dog turd I've had the misfortune to work against.

Keep them locked in until they die..

0
0

Samsung digital picture frame CD infected by virus

DJ
Thumb Down

@Ian Ferguson

There is , and it's a pain in the arse for anyone that isn't using windows. My new 3G+ usb key comes as a flip flop usb drive, one as storage key for installing the software and then it flips to USB modem.. except it only works on windows and then not very well.

0
0

Is there any good external HDD encryption software?

DJ
Linux

Truecrypt

http://www.truecrypt.org/downloads.php

I've got it running on Windows XP and Ubuntu on my baby eeepc.

DJ.

0
0

NASA developing brain-monitor hats for airline pilots

DJ

The results are going to be suprising.

After taxing, running down the runway , lifting up , putting the gear up, and switching on the autopilot. I wonder how they will explain the results when he turns to page 3 of the sun?

0
0

Eclipse kills open-source SOA projects

DJ
Flame

Re: Too Many Acronyms

<<<"STP-SOAS" expands to "Service-Oriented Architecture Tools Platform - Service-Oriented Architecture System". Ten points to anyone who can clearly explain what that actually means in fewer than 30 words>>>>

B*LLSH*T that sounds good but nobody knows what it does, but we can sell it for a five figure sum with followup five year support contract.

0
0

Star Wars MMO to grab more players than WoW

DJ
Dead Vulture

Who is the editor?

If it's Sony again, I don't think that it will even get off the ground. They managed to turn a semi decent MMORPG into a very bad doom clone last time around.

Dead before it's even started.

0
0

Interpol proposes world face-recognition database

DJ
Happy

Lemon screen

I was using lemon screen on my home pc, http://www.keylemon.com/l_index.php , that is until my 2 year old daughter thought it was fun to watch herself on the screen and unlocked it with her face.

My pool little girl is as ugly as her father.. bah

0
0

Hands on with SanDisk's SlotMusic SD-not-CD player

DJ
Thumb Down

1 AA?

Non rechargabe mp3 player, thats a big no no to start with, and micro sd's are more expensive than thier SD equivelents and much much easier to loose.

I fit into category 3 of Mr Chris' list, so I'll still be buying CD's and listening to them on my phone.

Dave

0
0

Vote now for your fave sci-fi movie quote

DJ
Unhappy

No 5th Element.

"Lee-Loo Dallas Multi Pass - M-U-L-T-I-P-A-S-S" Lee-Loo.

"I don't want one position I want all positions" Ruby Rod

"Big Bada Boom" Korben

"Mmm Chick-en" Lee-Loo.

0
0

The evolution of Crystal Reports

DJ
Thumb Down

I once met a guy

.. who claimed he liked crystal reports. He's now selling insurance door to door because it's less stressful.

Do yourselves a favor , take it off your cv and get an "Expert in" to sort it out for you.

0
0