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* Posts by Ketlan

228 posts • joined 29 Jan 2008

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Over half of software developers think they'll be millionaires – study

Ketlan
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Devil

Bonkers McAfee

"The other half want to be like John McAfee."

What, a complete nutjob?

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QUIDOCALYPSE: Blighty braces for £100 MILLION cost of new £1 coin

Ketlan
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Unhappy

Re: Deal With It!

I've got twenty of these saved wit Mt Gox. Er...

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Virtual reality? Two can play THAT GAME, says Sony: New headset revealed for the PS4

Ketlan
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Re: Hmmm...

"Perhaps I'm taking your comment too seriously but you do realise that the sword isn't real?"

That'd be even more fun! :-) No, I was thinking more along the lines of an unlucky punch decking someone coming in to see what all the noise was about.

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Ketlan
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Devil

Hmmm...

“Morpheus will reproduce the player’s hands and sword within the game so the player feels like they are physically fighting off enemies with their sword in the virtual world.”

So your partner, who has just walked into the living room, just happens to momentarily occupy the real space that is currently virtually-filled by some zombie/robot/gangster who is trying to kill you in-game...

I wonder how long it'll be before the accused in a murder trial comes up with 'I was only playing Zombie Apocalypse 9, m'lord'.

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Help a hack: What's in your ultimate Windows XP migration toolkit?

Ketlan
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Thumb Up

Useful stuff

"WSUS Offline is pretty useful. It allows you to make an ISO full of Microsoft updates that you can then install on a bunch of machines without them all fighting to download the updates several times over."

Excellent. Have an upvote. :-)

"A Linux USB stick"

And a downvote for you for trying to score a cheap point inappropriately.

Well done, El Reg. A fine and worthy project.

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NASA: Earth JUST dodged comms-killing SOLAR BLAST in 2012

Ketlan
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Alert

Whoa!

Bleeding pigs, that was close!

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Facebook security chief: We're not encrypting everything between our data centers just yet

Ketlan
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WTF?

It's not spying if it's information-gathering

"...Sullivan's boss made an angry call to the White House to complain about intelligence agents using Facebook as a conduit for spying on people."

Irony, hypocrisy or just taking the piss?

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Tiny heat-sucker helps keep Moore's Law going

Ketlan
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Devil

Graphene, is there anything it can't do?

Can it make a decent cup of tea?

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WhatsApp chats not as secret as you think

Ketlan
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Pffft...

I'd never even heard of WhatsApp before Zuckerberg threw his money at it, so I neither knew nor cared how secure (or otherwise) it was. Strangely enough, now it's part of the Facebook empire, I REALLY don't give a shit.

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Fanbois SQUEAL as DNS snafu knocks out iTunes website

Ketlan
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Meh

Meh

"Apple suffered a rare outage last night which knocked iCloud, iTunes and several other fruity websites off the internet."

Oh dear, how sad, don't care.

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You thought it was dead – but Flappy Bird may return: Millions prepare to poke own eyes out

Ketlan
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Devil

Not again...

"with the addition of warnings to stop players being consumed by it"

The sub-heading got it right - 'get a life'.

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NZ bloke's drunken poker bet ends in 99-letter name

Ketlan
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Happy

Worra laff

Bizarre that Talula Does The Hula is deeply frowned upon (I thought it was quite sweet) while Number 16 Bus Shelter is approved. It's a very peculiar world.

Mind you, this is from someone who named his youngest son Henry William Twelve Minutes (perfectly legally in the UK) in celebration of the twelve minutes it took from waters breaking to birth.

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Academic blames US for tech titans' tax dodge

Ketlan
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Flame

That's capitalism

It's no good blaming a single country - the fault lies squarely with capitalism as a system. Get rid of that or at the least make it harder for capitalism's worst excesses to damage economies or blight the lives of the people who actually do all the work, and we might end up with a world worth living in.

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Boffins build bendy screen using LEDs just THREE atoms thick

Ketlan
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Fair enough

That makes more sense. Thanks for the explanation.

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Ketlan
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Facepalm

I don't get it...

"How DUMB are you???"

How RUDE are you???

"'flat' paper is 3D close up!"

And still quite a lot of atoms thick. Now have a very close look at something consisting of no atoms at all and tell me THAT'S 3D.

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Ketlan
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Devil

What?

"It makes them very short 3D objects unless they are either no atoms wide or no atoms deep."

Surely that'd make them non-existent.

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Florida bloke cuffed for pit bull shag outrage

Ketlan
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Devil

Eek!

Marsonek doesn't look bonkers at all, does he.

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Show more CANADIAN-MADE PORN, insists Canadian government

Ketlan
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Devil

Weird smut, please.

South Park to the rescue!

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Twin GEEKS: NASA studies identical brothers – one on Earth, one IN SPAAAACE

Ketlan
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Devil

Metabolomics?

"metabolomics"

Turn your head to the left and cough, please.

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'Mommy got me an UltraVibe Pleasure 2000 for Xmas!' South Park: Stick of Truth

Ketlan
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Devil

Re: Girls

"Just saying, but it would have been nice to play a girl as I am like, you know, a fucking girl."

Sorry, what's a girl?

That's a geeky joke, by the way, just in case some miserable fucker doesn't get it.

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Ketlan
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Re: PC version not censored

Looking forward to this SO much - but people need to know about the censoring. More info here: http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/mar/05/south-park-stick-of-truth-game-censored-europe

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Why can’t I walk past Maplin without buying stuff I don’t need?

Ketlan
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Happy

No Maplins within walking distance but...

"And where does the average slipper-and-cardigan home computer owner find matrix board, resistors and the like in the mid-1990s?"

Tandy (Radio Shack). I managed one of their stores for three ghastly years and while they may be the shittiest of companies from the point of view of the employee, for a geek/nerd they were the resistor/capacitor/componentofyourchoice wet dream. Even now, donkey's years after I left that shit-ridden company, I find it hard to resist (hah - geddit?) going in and rummaging through the bubblepacks of goodies while drooling and fondling everything in sight*.

*I appreciate that this makes me sound a bit weird but fuck you, I don't care.

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Roll up, roll up for the Commentards' Ball

Ketlan
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Devil

Hands off the bollocks!

"Roll up, roll up for the Commentards' Ball"

You leave my fucking balls alone!

Can't be there. I'm tucked away in the dark and damp North West. But have a great time and several beers on me, you lucky bastards!

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Winklevoss twins say their Bitcoins will take them to SPAAAAACE

Ketlan
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Devil

Bye, chaps

"Winklevoss twins say their Bitcoins will take them to SPAAAAACE"

Good.

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Chillax, cranky commentards: Anger can KILL YOU

Ketlan
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Pint

Everything kills you!

So losing your temper kills you, having the odd cigarette kills you, too much booze kills you and now we're told that too much protein kills you. We're clearly doomed no matter what we do so I'm off to the pub.

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WHOA: Get a load of Asteroid DX110 JUST MISSING planet EARTH

Ketlan
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Alert

Fuck a duck...

They're getting closer (and more frequent).

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Aargh! My EYEBALLS are MELLLTING! Curse this DEVIL LAPTOP

Ketlan
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Devil

Pffft...

"Or so says Reticare, a company that, guess what, makes a shield which will "protect" you from this damage."

There's a surprise.

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HTML is a sexually transmitted disease, say many Americans

Ketlan
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Childcatcher

Er...

I thought all those answers were correct.

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Windows XP market share GROWS AGAIN, outstrips Win 8.1 surge

Ketlan
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Windows

Mostly W7 with patchy XP

Most of the people I know either bought a desktop/laptop with W7 on and intend to keep it or bought a W8 machine and promptly upgraded to W7. I only know one person who is happy with W8.1 but she's pretty weird anyway. On the other hand, at least half a dozen people I know are happy to stay on XP and aren't in any way fazed by Microsoft removing its support. I don't though, know a single person who has actively bought a new version of XP. Is this purely a developing nations phenomenon or are there such people in the UK/US/EU?

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Steve Jobs statue: Ones and ohs and OH NOES – it's POINTING at us

Ketlan
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FAIL

WTF

What the fuck is it? It frightens the crap out of me!

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Hungarian eggheads unleash not-at-all-scary DRONE SWARM

Ketlan
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Devil

Fiction to fact

And we live through the process of science fiction turning into science fact again. Read the 2002 novel Prey by Michael Crichton and swarming nanobots are to be found therein.

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Pirate Bay becomes 'Research Bay' for three days

Ketlan
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Pirate

Mostly male

Interesting that the responses to previous surveys show a user gender split with males on 93.4% and females on only 6.1%. All the women I know are okay with the odd bit of piracy and one male friend disapproves (but does it anyway). I'd have expected females to have been better represented - but I probably know all the dodgy ones.

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Taiwan Mobile unveils Granny-tracker smart bracelet

Ketlan
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Thumb Up

Very nice

A bloody good idea - though I'm not too sure about it keeping a record of any music listened to that day. Nevertheless, this will be a godsend to anyone with a parent/partner with Alzheimer's.

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Sandisk breaks 128GB barrier with new $199 MICROSD card

Ketlan
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"Thankfully for SanDisk, there are enough people out there that don’t want to be reliant of an internet connection to get their data, and manufacturers recognize that."

Thank God (or the deity of your choice) that this is the case.

"But the longterm trend appears to be towards cloud as a storage medium and, for smartphones at least, SanDisk will have a tougher time of it."

Oh, bugger.

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Moon flashes Earth after getting pounding from MASSIVE meteorite

Ketlan
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Unhappy

Wow

What a shame it took over five months for it to be reported.

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Wanna change the world but need cash? Fret not: Billionaire Eric Schmidt has some spare change

Ketlan
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WTF?

Re: Underwhelmed

Whoa - a million??? Steady on, Eric!

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1bn down, 6bn to go: Zuck to grow Facebook by touting 'free internet onramp' for the poor

Ketlan
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WTF?

Do fuck off, Zuckerberg

"After Facebook reached this milestone of connecting a billion people, we took a step back and said, 'well, what problem can we help solve next?'"

And what 'problem', precisely, has been solved by Facebook connecting a billion people, beyond the presumed shortage of amusing (cough) cat pictures that existed before Facebook arrived on the scene. As far as I can see, Zuckerberg has got richer than Midas and a billion people can now talk crap at each other online rather than face to face or on the phone. Is that it? FFS.

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Mathematicians spark debate with 13 GB proof for Erdős problem

Ketlan
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Facepalm

Yes indeedy

“Imagine a random, infinite sequence of numbers containing nothing but +1s and -1s. Erdős was fascinated by the extent to which such sequences contain internal patterns. One way to measure that is to cut the infinite sequence off at a certain point, and then create finite sub-sequences within that part of the sequence, such as considering only every third number or every fourth. Adding up the numbers in a sub-sequence gives a figure called the discrepancy, which acts as a measure of the structure of the sub-sequence and in turn the infinite sequence, as compared with a uniform ideal.”

I'm sure I had some paracetamol around here somewhere...

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Imprisoned Norwegian mass murderer says PlayStation 2 is 'KILLING HIM'

Ketlan
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"Please forgive me for being offended that some childish pricks make breathtakingly vapid remarks about a man who killed ten people and injured dozens more, in the process risking my own life and the lives of those I love when he set off a bomb in central Oslo, intended to set off one or two more, and then merrily headed off to a political party's summer camp to murder a further 70 teenagers. Call me pathetic all you like but the fact that the first comment on this article was a pathetic dig at Microsoft says a lot more about the commenters on this website than anything else."

A million times 'well said'.

Fuck him. Let him die, fucking scum.

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Flappy Bird becomes massively multiplayer PHOENIX

Ketlan
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Mushroom

Hate, hate, hate...

Good. Kill them all, the bastards...

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The perfect fantasy flick for the online Valentine you've never met: Her

Ketlan
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Thumb Down

Yawn...

I've seen it. It's crap.

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North Korea to switch on the interwebs

Ketlan
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Black Helicopters

Maybe/maybe not...

“Considering the fact that workers there have to communicate via phone or fax machines to those in the South, the internet linkage will boost efficiency, cut costs, and guarantee security.”

Boost efficiency - check

Cut costs - check

Guarantee security - erm...

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Facebook turns 10: Big Brother isn't Mark Zuckerberg. It's YOU

Ketlan
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Unhappy

Re: Nothing here either... @Ketlan

Sorry, I can't respond. I told you, I'm dead!

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Ketlan
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Facepalm

Nothing here either...

"I bet you all have blogs where you complain about the narcissism of posting on Twitter and FB too."

Nope. No Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace, forum or blog. In fact, I think I'm dead.

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DARPA hands IBM £3.4m to develop SELF DESTRUCTING CHIPS

Ketlan
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Mushroom

KaBOOM...

"The American miltary's mad boffin department DARPA has commissioned IBM to design microchips that can simply "vanish" after being used."

I thought this was called 'built-in obsolescence' and was an integral part of every piece of technology that currently exists.

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Fujitsu launches lappie for oldies

Ketlan
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Thumb Up

Re: Shame the keys aren't bigger

I wouldn't mind having a good deal more information about this as and when it's made available. Are the keys themselves slightly larger than is the norm? What's the screen size/resolution? Ports? Price? I might be an old fogey but these things matter.

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Asus unveils dirt-cheap Chromebox desktops with Haswell chips

Ketlan
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WTF?

16GB, really?

"16GB of onboard SSD storage"

Seriously???

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MAC TO THE FUTURE: 30 years of hindsight and smart-arsery

Ketlan
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Devil

So ghastly...

"When we saw the first photos of the original iMac, IT journalists agreed it was the most ghastly computer we’d ever seen. Testing it, we found it to be slow and poorly configured and came with a mouse so badly designed that it made you want to go out and kill someone. A mouse that could drive you to murder? Yes, that’s how absolutely fucking dreadful it was."

Oh God, how much can I possibly agree with this!!!

And can you imagine the horror when I discovered that my youngest daughter's prospective secondary school had dumped everything else in favour of this rubbish? Needless to say, she chose another, far better, school to go to - one with a less fashion-driven IT teacher at the helm.

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Cameron: UK public is fine with domestic spying

Ketlan
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Cameron is a c**t

'Recent disclosures over domestic surveillance and GCHQ spying on citizens aren't much of an issue to the public, according to Prime Minister David Cameron.'

This is from a guy who doesn't have any idea who the public actually is and doesn't give a shit for their opinions anyway.

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Pregnant? Celebrate your proudest moment ... by 3D-printing a copy of the foetus

Ketlan
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WTF?

Adorable?

I don't find it adorable at all - in fact I find it nauseating. And the fact that Kardashian and West seem to have put their seal of approval on it just makes it worse.

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