* Posts by Ketlan

329 posts • joined 29 Jan 2008

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Your gran and her cronies are 'embracing online banking' – study

Ketlan
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Happy

Bankers for anyone...

I don't know why anyone would use anything BUT internet banking. It makes life a lot simpler, especially for the disabled or those who are less than usually able.

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Care.data refuseniks will be DENIED CANCER SCREENING invites

Ketlan
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Nothing wrong here

'...patients who have registered a Type 2 objection "may not have understood that this will mean that as a result, they will not be approached for direct care services like e-prescribing, bowel screening, e-referrals or e-pathology reporting."'

Hmm... I registered a Type 2 objection via my surgery and I've just been prescribed bowel screening as part of a national programme to bowel screen all over-60s. Is there really a problem?

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Opera Jon weaves a brand new browser

Ketlan
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Meh

Meh...

I loved Opera and was a beta tester for years but I went off it when they added the unremovable mail client in and it started to bloat pretty outrageously. The thing I miss the most is Notes - an excellent and well-executed facility sadly lacking in Firefox.

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'One day, YOU won't be able to SENSE the INTERNET,' vows Schmidt

Ketlan
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Devil

Bollocks

Fuck off, Schmidt. The foreseeable future will be very much like the past.

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EE data network goes TITSUP* after mystery firewall problem

Ketlan
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Devil

Oh, dear...

I'm sorry but LOL, you shouldn't have gone with such a shite company.

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Turn your head and cough (up your details), HealthCare.Gov has sprung a leak!

Ketlan
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FAIL

What a surprise!

'HealthCare.Gov has sprung a leak!'

Cor blimey. Who'da thought it.

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Windows 10: The Microsoft rule-o-three holds, THIS time it's looking DECENT

Ketlan
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Devil

Re: Read the whole thing...

Gotta say I agree with this. Windows 10 free for life - great, I'll take two. Windows 10 free for a year - they can shove it: I'll stick to 7, thank you.

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Windows 10, day ZERO ... Will Nadella be the HERO?

Ketlan
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Pint

Re: Today is my birthday.

'Downvote me if it also your birthday.'

Certainly not. Here's to both of us! :)

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Ketlan
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Happy

Pffftt...

Thank you, chaps. All pints very welcome. :)

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Ketlan
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Happy

Pffftt...

'Remember 21 January, 2015: it will go down in history either as the date that made Microsoft or the reason why victory in mobile was put on hold for another two years.'

It'll do nothing of the sort. Today will only be known as the day of my 62nd birthday, so there. Now where's my jelly and ice cream...

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Increased gov spy powers are NOT the way to stay safe against terrorism

Ketlan
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Black Helicopters

Bullshit alert!

The media is already laying out the government's propaganda for it.

'Majority of Britons think the state should have more surveillance powers'

http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/majority-of-britons-think-the-state-should-have-more-surveillance-powers--xku4Y9Kbse

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This could be a case for Mulder and Scully: Fox 'in talks' to bring back The X-Files

Ketlan
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Devil

Blech...

'Until they kill him off and replace him with "young" Shia LaBeouf.'

Please God, no.

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Apple wants your fingerprints in the cloud

Ketlan
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Devil

Records and more records...

"Apple wants to collect and store your fingerprints..."

In your dreams.

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Spavined RadioShack to file for bankruptcy next month – report

Ketlan
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Devil

Bye-bye

As a former employee of this ghastly company (for three terrible years) all I can say is fucking good riddance.

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$500 TEDDY BEAR teaches tots to spit up personal data

Ketlan
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Creepy

I find this a tad disturbing. Whatever happened to parents just checking on their kids from time to time to make sure they're okay?

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It's hacker jihad: Islamist skiddies square up to Anonymous

Ketlan
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Happy

Hooray, no image!

Sorry, but I'm just grateful that this article lacks the (now) usual and pointless sodding great image at the top. Just like the old days...

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Computers know you better than your friends

Ketlan
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Happy

Er...

I know it's infantile but PNAS? Really?

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Boybanders ONE DIRECTION launch DoS attack on open-source bods

Ketlan
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Devil

Lordy...

'140,000 One Direction fans have suddenly taken all the hotel accommodation in the city'

We're doomed, I tell ya. Doomed.

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Windows XP beats 8.1 in December market share stats

Ketlan
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Harumph...

'I noticed the same thing in my local hospital. Lots of XP computers hooked up to medical equipment.'

So did I during a long stay at my local infirmary but three out of four items weren't working, these worst affected being those most commonly used.

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ALIEN EARTH: Red sun's habitable world spotted 470 light years away

Ketlan
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Happy

New neighbours ahoy!

'ALIEN EARTH with a RED SUN discovered 470 light-years away'

I wonder if they'll mind if we pop round to borrow some sugar...'

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UKIP website TAKES A KIP, but for why?

Ketlan
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Devil

Re: They arent a serious party..

'FYI Ukip is currently the only party to ban former BNP members from joining. Perhaps you halfwit metro liberals should check your facts first.'

Perhaps you right-wing loonies should, too. The Labour Party banned former BNP members from joining years ago.

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Zuckerberg asks the public to tell him where to go in 2015

Ketlan
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Devil

Hate him.

'Now be polite people'

Bugger.

'Every year the behoodied prince of Facebook sets himself a personal goal, and this year he’s asking the public to tell him how to spend 2015 doing something new.'

Being polite, he should come and visit me at my home. Now where did I put those boxing gloves...

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El Reg tests portable breathalyzers: Getting drunk so you don't have to

Ketlan
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Happy

Hic...sorry.

Easy answer: drink at home. In secret.

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Analysts claim itty bitty iPhone Mini to land next year

Ketlan
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Trollface

Budget-priced, my arse

'The next Apple iPhone won't be a larger handset, but rather a budget-priced miniature model...'

In your dreams.

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Ghosts of Christmas Past: The long-ago geek gifts that made us what we are

Ketlan
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Happy

Science Fair

I used to run a Tandy store back in the seventies and those Science Fair kits used to sell like hot cakes in the run-up to Christmas. I think they went up to a 200-project kit, which was pretty expensive but would keep a future nerd quiet for weeks into the new year.

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Shock! Nork-grating flick The Interview WILL be in cinemas – Sony

Ketlan
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Meh

Yawn...

I'm already bored with this film and I haven't even seen it.

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IsoHunt releases roll-your-own Pirate Bay

Ketlan
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Pirate

Tor Bay anyone?

I wonder how difficult it would be to set this up for use only with Tor?

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Ketlan
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Sadly, I had a whole lot of shit to say here but after reading God knows how many pages of pissed-off commentards putting in their bits, I can't be bothered. You want a death threat? Here you go. 'If you don't revert, I'll kill myself.' Fucking sad, isn't it. 'If you don't revert, I'll go elsewhere for my IT coverage', sounds a little better.

At the moment, I'm reading this site via the feed. Gawdelpus, I used to love reading it by any means possible.

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Ketlan
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'Come on, Ketlan poster, keep up.'

I don't see your point - unless it's just to be bloody patronising. Ketlan is actually my name, by the way.

'Anyway, my previous posts attempting to engage with readers have been downvoted so I guess everyone here doesn't want to hear what Reg staff have to say.'

Everyone here DOES want to hear what you have to say - the problem is WHAT you're saying. Try saying 'we're rolling back to the old look next week' and see how many upvotes that gets you.

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Ketlan
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Come on, Reg, wake up.

So is El Reg going to update us or what?

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Ketlan
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Devil

Hmmm...

'Maybe you could copy the design these guys use....'

What a great and efficient looking page. I wish the Register looked like that.

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Ketlan
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FAIL

Three days later...

...and it's still here. Hideous crap.

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Ketlan
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Angel

Let's have a poll

Obviously many readers hate the change while some seem to embrace it. How about a poll that will show precisely what the balance is? At least that way, the site editors can act in the best interests of the readers AND El Reg.

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Ketlan
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Thumb Down

Re: No. Just no....

'Design by the same team who did the new Guarinad site?'

Yep, looks like it and they both look like shit. I put this on the same level as the change in Office to that bloody awful ribbon - no-one likes it, it's crap to use and we're probably stuck with it no matter what we say.

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Parliament face-sit-in to spark mass debate on UK's stiff smut stance

Ketlan
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Devil

Hmm...

I can think of quite a few MPs I'd like to fist, though not in the way many of them would enjoy.

Allegedly.

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Sacre block! French publishers to sue Adblock maker – report

Ketlan
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Unhappy

Money speaks, as usual

'French publishers are reportedly planning to sue Eyeo, the makers of AdBlock Plus, over the upstart's practice of charging money to allow online adverts to pass through its filter software.'

I didn't know ABP did this and I have to say it surprises and saddens me that what I thought was a useful and clever utility is taking the money route. I want an ad-blocker to block ads, especially from multinational advertisers who can afford to throw money around with abandon (Google, for instance). An ad-blocker that doesn't block all ads is something else entirely.

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RIP Ralph Baer: Father of the games console dies aged 92

Ketlan
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Historically significant

As someone who lived through every one of Ralph Baer's historically significant games, I can only say thank you for getting me in at the start of the techno revolution. Cheers, Mr Baer.

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Brit smut slingers shafted by UK censors' stiff new stance

Ketlan
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Devil

Gissa job

I want a job at the British Board of Film Classification. It's not fair that they can watch all this stuff but I can't.

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ESA finds FOURTH comet touchdown for Philae lander

Ketlan
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Happy

'ESA finds FOURTH comet touchdown for Philae lander'

Is Philae made of rubber or what?

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Ten excellent FREE PC apps to brighten your Windows

Ketlan
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Re: VLC

'Why does everyone love VLC so much,'

Thank God someone has had the balls to say that at last. Hate VLC, love MPC via the K-Lite Codec Pack.

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Androids in celluloid – which machine deserves the ULTIMATE MOVIE ROBOT title?

Ketlan
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Happy

Hooray for Marvin...

Great to see Marvin way out in the lead. I'm sure that would make him very happy. Or maybe not...

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BIG FAT Lies: Porky Pies about obesity

Ketlan
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Thumb Up

Good stuff.

Bloody hell, a Worstall article I actually agree with, apart from the weak dig at Ed the Millipede, which at least was mildly amusing.

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All aboard the Poo Bus! Ding ding, route Number Two departing

Ketlan
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'The Bio-Bus will be powered by people living in the area "including quite possibly those on the bus itself," said Mohammed Saddiq, GENeco general manager.'

Seriously? So if the bus stops, the passengers might be asked to provide the fuel? Fuck me, I knew local transport was shit but...'

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FORGET the CLIMATE: FATTIES are a MUCH BIGGER problem - study

Ketlan
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Devil

I'm three terrorists at least!

'If you're a fatty AND a smoker, you're almost as bad as TWO terrorists'

I'm a fatty and I both smoke and drink. What a bastard!

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Useless 'computer engineer' Barbie FIRED in three-way fsck row

Ketlan
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Devil

Pink crapfest

'...a bespectacled Barbie – pink frames, of course...backed up her work on a pink, heart-shaped USB drive she wears as a necklace...wiping out Skipper's homework. Skipper is so annoyed she starts a pillow fight with her sister.'

Dear God, is it 1960 again?

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Hunt for Higgs Boson and dark matter now starts ON YOUR SOFA

Ketlan
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Thumb Up

Wow!

I'm sure I won't understand a word of it but kudos to CERN for releasing the data and the tools to (hopefully) make sense of it all.

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The IT Crowd's internet in a box gets $240k of crowdcash for a cause

Ketlan
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Happy

IT Crowd

Wow, the IT Crowd is suddenly getting a lot of mentions at the Reg. Good stuff.

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Countdown contestant pays homage to IT Crowd's Moss

Ketlan
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Happy

Re: Excellent

'Don't think I've ever seen the subject of a el Reg article down here with us commentards before!'

Nor me. Definitely worth an upvote. :)

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Ketlan
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Collins' definition - sort of

http://www.collinsdictionary.com/submission/4616/tnetennba

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Ketlan
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Happy

Excellent

'♫ 0118 999 88199 9119 725... 3'

Bugger. I've got that bloody tune stuck in my head now!

Kudos to Danny Davies. :)

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