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* Posts by Simon Ward

620 posts • joined 3 Apr 2007

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Number crunching suggests Yahoo! US is worth less than nothing

Simon Ward

Re: is it just me...

More like 'Road to Nowhere'

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BSkyB, CityFibre, TalkTalk pull clear of bigwig BT's bundles – plan to set fibre to York

Simon Ward

I'll believe it when I see it.

OK, I live in a village about 6 miles from the centre of York and already have FTTC, which I have to say I'm more than happy with (probably helps that the nearest cab is only about half a mile away, mind)

However, I can see this either being stymied by York City Council, who couldn't find their collective arses with an atlas, or being restricted to the 'tens of thousands of new properties' that seem to be getting thrown up on any available piece of land bigger than a postage stamp.

If it happens, great, but I won't hold my breath.

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TrueCrypt audit: Probe's nearly all the way in ... no backdoor hit yet

Simon Ward

Re: Maybe

I thought this too.

Then I actually spent an idle couple of hours trying to make sense of some of the OpenSSL code.

Now admittedly, my C is a bit rusty but I wouldn't wish the auditing of the clusterfuck of preprocessor directives and godawful coding style that is the OpenSSL codebase on my worst enemy.

If an audit of OpenSSL was 'crowdfunded' (gods, I hate that term) then you'd actually need *two* funds - one to actually pay the auditors to do their thing and another for an extensive course of therapy for the poor sods afterwards.

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Parent gabfest Mumsnet hit by SSL bug: My heart bleeds, grins hacker

Simon Ward

Glad it's not just me, then ...

And here I was thinking 'couldn't have happened to a nicer bunch of people ...' ... glad I'm not alone.

Karma is, as they say, a bitch.

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OpenSSL Heartbleed: Bloody nose for open-source bleeding hearts

Simon Ward
Linux

Re: Its mostly C ....

Have a look at some of the other OpenSSL code - whilst it undoubtedly does what it is meant to do, there's no way in hell that it'd pass any decent code review.

Admittedly, crypto is probably the sort of thing that's done by mathematicians rather than 'professional' developers but whoever is responsible for that monumental clusterfuck of preprocessor directives and eye-tearingly bad coding style needs taking aside, given a book on coding standards and a serious beating with a Clue Stick.

Given how difficult it can be to get anything done with OpenSSL, I'm amazed it has gained as much traction as it has.

If APIs could speak, OpenSSL would be screaming 'fuck you!'

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Meet the man building an AI that mimics our neocortex – and could kill off neural networks

Simon Ward

Re: Risky, but..

This.

Ever so much.

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Sticky Tahr-fy pudding: Ubuntu 14.04 slickest Linux desktop ever

Simon Ward
FAIL

Re: Head to head

Is that you, Satya?

To borrow from Wikipedia, [citation needed]

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Molyneux: Working at Microsoft is 'like taking antidepressants'

Simon Ward
Coat

So do I - I love the Fable 'universe' - hell, I even bought a bloody 360 so I could play Fable 2.

Sadly, since the franchise is now owned by the Beast Of Redmond, the chances of PM focussing on them are somewhere on the far side of nil.

Mine's the one with the Crunchy Chicks in the pocket, ta.

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ISPs failing 13m Brits on broadband speed, claims consumer group

Simon Ward

O RLY?

I'm in a village about 6 miles from York - my 35Mbps connection (Sky Fibre, with the cabinet about half a mile away) begs to differ.

Given that 10 years ago I couldn't get ADSL in any shape of form in the same location, I'll take it.

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That NSA denial in full: As of right now, we're not pretending to be Facebook or Twitter

Simon Ward

Re: This just in

Yeah.

I reckon the Zuckerbeast is pissed because the NSA can spy on his users so much better than he can.

Hypocritical bastard.

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Care Bears... share: NHS England promises to heal careless data-sharing plans

Simon Ward

If you haven't already opted out of this clusterfuck-in-the-making ...

Run, don't walk, to optout.care-data.info, print out the form and hand it in to your GP's surgery (don't make an appointment specially, although if you happen to be seeing your doc at the time then hand them the form directly and let him/her know what you think)

Fuck 'em all, and the horse they rode in on.

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Satya Nadella shakes up Microsoft, appoints 'Scroogled' man Mark Penn as strategy chief

Simon Ward
Facepalm

Corporatese bullshit at its finest ...

"multidisciplinary SWAT team" - what the everloving fuck?!

They're supposed to be a tech company, not the bloody Seattle Police Department.

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Apple's Windows XP moment: OS X Snow Leopard left to DIE

Simon Ward

Re: What are we waiting for?

This.

Ever so much.

My employers develop a product which can run on Macs, and the fact of the matter is that some of our larger customers are still running Snow Leopard on their production systems (for reasons best known to themselves, but there you are) with a few still running Tiger and Leopard on PPC hardware - end of life or not, we still have to support them - if you think that getting corporates to adopt newer versions of Windows is tough, convincing them that upgrading their Fruit Machines is a good idea is even harder and as such we still have to support them (and yes, we've got a metric shitload of legacy hardware running Snow Leopard, Leopard and Tiger so we can do that)

Calling it an "XP Moment" is probably over-egging things a bit, but it's still bloody inconvenient.

(can't comment on Mavericks, as I bailed out of Zombie Steve's Walled Garden before the Hillside Moggy was unleashed)

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Github brews text editor for developers

Simon Ward

Indeed it does - and this is exactly what Caret is; a text editor which runs as a Chrome app. All of which makes me wonder why GitHub decided to replicate the functionality in an arse-backwards fashion. Indeed, given that Other Chrome-Based Text Editors Are Available[tm] it makes me wonder why they bothered at all.

(note that I have no vested interest in the development of said editor, but I do use it a fair bit on my Chromebook if I need to do some quick-and-dirty editing that doesn't warrant firing up a crouton chroot jail)

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Simon Ward

And this is different from Caret how, exactly? (which, according to the blurb, was motivated by the desire to have something like Sublime/TextMate which ran on a Chromebook)

(despite having used vi/vim in various incarnations since I was at university in the late 80s, Caret isn't actually too bad for a 'graphical' editor)

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Rise of the Machines: Robot challenges top German player at ping-pong

Simon Ward

How would it handle 'Diabolus' ....?

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/02/16

That is all ...

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Rise of the (tiny) machines: US boffins make nanomotor breakthrough

Simon Ward
Boffin

I for one ...

... welcome our nano-scale, sonically-propelled overlords.

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Video thrills the Google ad star: Susan Wojcicki becomes YouTube chief

Simon Ward

Given that most ecosystems are full of shit ...

... she'll likely be quite at home at YouTube.

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Google helps out utterly underexposed Lego brand with Chrome toy

Simon Ward

Re: Needs moar bricks!

Ah, so it does ... bit slow on the uptake today.

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Simon Ward

Needs moar bricks!

Nice, although unless your graphics capability is up to snuff the user experience is akin to drowning in treacle (case in point: runs like a dog on my iMac at work, but is quite zippy on my ChromeBook)

Really needs a bigger/better selection of bricks though, as well as the ability to use different colours - as any fule no, building stuff with the same coloured bricks is boring.

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The iPad age is over: The time of the iPad Mini and phablet is upon us

Simon Ward

I stopped reading when I read that it was 'research' by Toilette and Douche.

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Do you wear specs? Google Glass offers YOU amazing live HD video

Simon Ward

Re: The specs will come in four ranges called Bold, Curve, Thin and Split

Took a while for that one to sink in (its been a long day ...)

Have an upvote for making me snigger.

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GP surgeries MUST DO BETTER on data handling, says ICO

Simon Ward

Re: Everything you need to know ...

I don't mind GPs having access to my data.

What I object to is that data ending up in the hands of advertisers. If you think this won't happen with care.data, you're naive, deluded or a combination of the two.

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Simon Ward

Everything you need to know ...

... from a GP, no less: www.care-data.info

If you're unsure as to why you'd want to opt-out, I'll give you one reason: ATOS - the above mentioned link will give you many, many others.

My GP received my opt-out form this morning - my medical records are not for sale.

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Apple declares war on PAYPAL: Pay-by-bonk + iTunes = profit, right?

Simon Ward

NFC ...

... No Fuckin' Chance.

Doubly so if Apple are involved (in which case it'd be like eBay+PayPal ie. No Fuckin' Choice)

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Acer C720 Chromebook with Haswell battery boosting goodness

Simon Ward
Thumb Up

Re: Has potential ...

Duly noted.

Shall take it for a spin in a VM to see if I can get on with it - in the meantime, have an upvote.

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Simon Ward

Has potential ...

... but I think I'll wait until someone succeeds in putting a 'proper' Linux distribution on it, since this could be an ideal 'chuck it in a bag'-style laptop.

I can live without the Chocolate Factory's spyware, though.

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Sega’s Out Run: Even better than the wheel thing

Simon Ward
Thumb Up

Re: The Soundtrack...

Ah, the soundtrack ...

Despite being utterly crap at Outrun, I absolutely loved the music - still do.

Back when I spent far too much time in the local arcades with my mates, the local recreation centre was notable by having one of the moving Ferrari-u-like 'sit in' versions of Outrun - my memory is a bit foggy, but it may well have broken other ground too by virtue of being 20p/credit rather than 10p.

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Sensors and sensibility: Quirky’s Spotter multi-purpose monitor module

Simon Ward
FAIL

"You’ll need to set up a Wink account,"

Instant fail, right there.

This alone means that there'll be figure skating championships in Hell before this device, cool as it seems, will cross my threshold.

When I can access the data using my own kit via an API, official or otherwise, then we'll talk.

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Supermodel Lily Cole in Impossible partnership with Jimbo Wales, YOU

Simon Ward
Thumb Down

"Supermodel Lily Cole has launched a new social network, dubbed Impossible, that relies on the good nature of strangers to exchange "gifts" on the site for free."

And how, exactly, is this different from something like, say, Freecycle?

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Flash stash on toppa platta: WD's tasty Black² 1TB combo for LAPTOPS

Simon Ward

Re: Windows yes, OSX no...

Various articles on the Interblag suggest not.

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'Best known female architect' angrily defends gigantic vagina

Simon Ward

Personally ...

... I think the vagina comparison is perfectly valid.

After all, come the World Cup the field will be full of pricks.

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Delia and the Doctor: How to cook up a tune for a Time Lord

Simon Ward
Thumb Up

Re: Excellent article.

Seconded.

As someone who creates electronic music for a hobby, Delia Derbyshire is one of my musical heroes (heroines, whatever) - for its time, the Dr Who theme was a work of absolute genius and it's a crying shame that she never got the recognition she truly deserved whilst she was at the BBC - a travesty right up there with them shuttering the Radiophonics Workshop.

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3CX PBX for Windows: Everything you ever wanted from a phone system

Simon Ward
Linux

"If you are running a real-life phone system, run it on a proper server operating system"

How?

It doesn't appear to run under Linux ...

(downvote away)

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PlayStation 4 a doddle to fix: Handy if it OVERHEATS, for instance

Simon Ward

At the risk of resurrecting an old joke ...

... will it blend?

Or have Sony found some way of stopping you doing that?

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SourceForge responds to GIMP grump with crowdsourcing caper

Simon Ward

Unfortunately, the damage is done - SourceForge seem to have gone and pissed an awful lot of goodwill up against the wall.

I, for one, won't be using it again.

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Google makes Gmail EVEN NOISIER, or should that be nosier?

Simon Ward

Alternatively, if you're using an Android device ...

... the K-9 email client is your friend.

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Want a support contract for GlassFish 4.0? Tough luck, says Oracle

Simon Ward

Re: Is anyone still using Weblogic in anger...

Sadly, yes.

And the 'in anger' bit is more true than you can possibly imagine.

Hateful, hateful piece of software.

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Big Beardie's watching: Alan Sugar robots spy on Tesco petrol queue

Simon Ward

Time to fire up the meatspace equivalent of AdblockPlus and avoid Te$co ...

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Need an internet antidote? Try magic mushrooms

Simon Ward
Unhappy

Re: And in exotic Surrey...

Same up here in sunny Yorkshire, although in the case of the 'shrooms near our office the maggots, slugs and assorted other wildlife evidently got there first :-(

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NSA.gov goes down after ‘error during scheduled update’

Simon Ward

Obvious, innit ...

... one of the new sysadmins Googled for Google and broke the internet.

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You like iPads, you like things called 'Air'. You will LOVE this puppy

Simon Ward

Innovation ...

... we've heard of it.

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ICAHN'T with this guy: Activist investor gives up battle with Big Mike

Simon Ward

Bwaaahahahahahahahahaha!

To coin a phrase from my youth: Icahn is all talk and no tackle.

Couldn't haev happened to a nicer guy.

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Google Nexus 7 2013: Fondledroids, THE 7-inch slab has arrived

Simon Ward

Shut up and take my money!

Whilst there's nothing at all wrong with my (rooted) Mk1 Nexus 7 in terms of functionality, the better display on the Mk2 makes upgrading a no-brainer, IMO.

In fact, the only real downside I can see is that the change in the dimensions of the body means that the rather funky Bluetooth keyboard I bought for my Mk1 won't clip onto the Mk2's chassis, and that's not exactly a showstopper.

Hopefully it'll be as easy to root (and hence remove various bits of Chocolate Factory spyware) as the Mk1

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LinkedIn looks at bank account, thinks: We'll raise one Instagram*

Simon Ward
Thumb Down

Re: Genuine Question

Think Facebook for suits, and all that implies.

I canned my account a long time ago because I kept getting spammed by slave-traders - apparently little has changed. It got to the point where I now have a mail filter which sinkholes everything that appears to come from linkedin.com.

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Boffins confirm quantum crypto can keep a secret

Simon Ward

Dave's not here, man ...

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Google's Project Glass headman answers most pressing question: 'Why?'

Simon Ward

Re: An interesting view on this from Sci-Fi

"Accelerando" by Charles Stross.

I'm sure your Google Glasses will be able to tell you where to pick up a copy.

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Simon Ward

The computer that 'lives on your head' will change mankind

Just like the Segway was meant to 'revolutionise transport' ... oh, wait ...

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Air mattress blast blows German man across room

Simon Ward
Boffin

Re: Explanation for the explosion

The aerosols you torched as a kid probably didn't have butane as a propellant.

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BALLMER TO RETIRE FROM MICROSOFT

Simon Ward
Linux

Re: Back to software...

But making great software for general purpose computers.

Well, there's a first time for everything ...

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