* Posts by Mr D

38 posts • joined 2 Apr 2007

BT seeks apartment dwellers to sign-up to 'superfast' FTTP trial

Mr D
Trollface

errrr....

To do it quicker??!!

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LimeWire settles with record labels, to pay $105m for copyright hurt

Mr D
Coat

Well

The world is now saved from p2p and the music industry will recover.! Hurrah! Just grabbing my coat, forgot to login my <insert one of many file sharing application alternatives> before I left for work.

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User data stolen in Sony PlayStation Network hack attack

Mr D

Selling...

.. My PS3 on Ebay right now. No reserve. No takers yet.

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Ministry of Sound floored by Anonymous

Mr D

Can I get a rewind????

Guess not....

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Russians demand flying cars and telepathy

Mr D
Paris Hilton

I WIN!

F5 made my choice win... Paris because she likes having her button pressed lots.

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Celebrity publicist develops mathematical 'fame formula'

Mr D
Dead Vulture

Wow...

Im never ever getting that 5 minutes back........

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NZ sports fans cop eyeful of hardcore

Mr D
Coat

3 Mins and 50 seconds..

... meant there was enough time for a smoke afterwards before it was over !

Mines the one with the "toothpaste" stain ...

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Games consoles not green enough, claims Greenpeace

Mr D
Coat

What a load of crap....

You can see in the picture... lots of green. My 360 is covered in green bits...

Okay the PS3 is black and the Wii is white... So get an xbox and the eco fiends will leave you alone...

mines the one with the hemp lining and reed twine zip

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Max Mosley loses battle to get sex video off web

Mr D
Heart

Poor fella

Okay - he's loaded and will stay that way .. but dont take it out on him... So what if he likes to get his jollies paying hookers to act out fantasys ... it could be a lot worse....who among us hasnt thought about dressing up as hitler and having 5 tarts goose stepping for us whilst leading a heard of leather clad midgets across a lino covered floor greased up with baby oil whilst an albino strums "ride of the valkeries" on a harp ????

I mean ... if you cant have that sort of fun in the world and its thought of as sick ... maybe its not the type of world I want to be a part of ...

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Swedish police cuff seven for online pill sales

Mr D
Paris Hilton

I find this news flaccid

I went limp at reading it ....

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Massive fire on Olympic site

Mr D
Thumb Up

Does no one get it ?

Its an IT website you can look at and look busy at work keeping up with current events... but there are gems of distraction ready to be un-earthed to kill time till the beer is cold enough to head home..

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Will Bungie jump from Microsoft?

Mr D

Console flames...

Nice work Mark, when's your 12th Birthday coming up?

Not really effected by this announcement... Im too busy playing team slayer ...

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Connoisseurs go mad for £1,000 ham

Mr D

Wow...

I didnt know we could use the C word here ...

But in reply ... Im the kind of wanker who would enjoy eating a snorker sandwich that cost that much, whilst whiping my greasy chin on a live 8 flyer...

Mmmmmmm ... Bacon products...

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Victim turns to Facebook in hunt for brazen burglar

Mr D

I know who it is.....

John Tickle - Formerly of Big Brother fame turned Brainiac....

Arrest that man.

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GPS becomes more than a back-seat driver

Mr D

Nokia N95 ?

Okay .. the battery drain is quick - but if your using it in the car with a charger - the soloutions already there... and I was suprised to say it actually works!

I use it for all of the above functions and aside the rare (since update v rare) crashing, im quite pleased with it !

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Ghostly plastic bathtoy flotilla nears Cornish coast

Mr D

It would appear ...

The ducks may be a bit brittle now.. however recently found "sun bleached beaver" from the same shipment has been discovered in the states....

Tasty!

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Teenagers prefer mobiles to sex

Mr D

Nick.....

Depends... What type of phone is it ???

<Lol>

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UK firm pays biggest ever fine over 'pirate' software

Mr D

Fine?

Its £250k after all.. of course its not bloody fine!!!!

- coat?

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Japanese offered USB bum-cooling cushion

Mr D

Sweaty balls ?

I didnt see a USB ball cleaner? May I suggest wiping them down before bagging them after a game, just until they come up with a device!

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Fancy an earful? Click here for tech support

Mr D

To be fair....

Rufus is correct, the download button was not that hard to find... even without instructions.

But aside from that, I dont think we shouldbe judging him too much ... he may be not all there or possibly abusing substances...

Still I shall start getting some emails to them to try and get a repsonse....

Spam ftw!

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Paris Hilton released for 'medical reasons'

Mr D

(&^$% her

%&$ damned (^%ing *&^

What a waste of time.

I didnt realise pulling a sicky worked in prison.

Im going to the pub to drink 18 pints and drive into a crowded bus stop now... Then have the flu when I get to jail - that means they give me a nice ankle watch looking thing and i have to play lots of xbox ... PAH!

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Big Brother housemate canned for racist slur

Mr D

Oh My God....

You printed that word.. I can't belive it. I demand your site is shut down and removed from the world, you dirty animals you... you actually printed the word nigger..

... umm ... Now I have to be shutdown too... <click...... BLAM>

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No charges for webcam suicide audience

This post has been deleted by a moderator

China will head for the moon this year

Mr D

RE: That Flag

They might have to spend a long time looking I reckon ...

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BMW helps nail 105mph V-sign biker

Mr D

So to get away with it

.....Get an R1, much like a clitoris, every tw&%s got one ......

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G-Wiz electro-car fracas leaves Top Gear blubbing

Mr D

Morely Dotes - Drag racing?

I heard thats really difficult and indeed dangerous... Getting a flailing skirt caught on your high heels must end in some nasty falls!

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Currys to cease stocking cassettes

Mr D

Sean Aaron's Comment ....

So If you made the mix tapes for you..... was this part of some ritual you had for wooing your good self prior to some good old self loving?

Seems a bit more time consuming than painting your left hand nails cheery red (number 6) and sitting on it for ten minutes till you cant feel it .... But hey ... what ever floats your boat ...

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Student expelled for high school Counter-Strike map

Mr D

Over-reacton, the only reaction!

Some kid made a map of his school for a game... big deal...

I keep a postmans uniform and bag in my armoury and sit there polishing my machine gun in my boxers and a pair of army boots waiting for the day the boss goes to far ...

It would be more disturbing if he was making maps of someone elses school....

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Disappointed Glastonbury fans spammed by rival festival

Mr D

They should of just

.. Sent them all an email to go and have a shower...

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Home Secretary bigs up fingerprint-activated iPods

Mr D

I know how to stop it ...

When you have your white headphones in - ensure you have been down the gym whilst on a large amount of performance enhancing drugs, also ensure your carrying a fully loaded mach 10, tazer, pepper spray and attach a grenade pin to a rip cord on your ipod.....

Avoid anyone in a hoodie... infact ... avoid other people, even your mum <just to be sure> - stay indoors, hide under your bed clutching holy relics of some sort, rock back and forth unable to enjoy your device, but at least its safe....

Or just keep it in your pocket and dont let the crackheads know you have it in the 1st place....

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Arrest Richard Gere, orders Indian court

Mr D

3 Months ?

Damn ,.. Should of at least made it worth it and practiced "The Goose"

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NASA gunman: police blame work grudge

Mr D

I wonder how long

until they finish each other off?

NASA or just gun slinging Americans... You decide...

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German boffins make sperm cells from bone marrow

Mr D

Its taken all this time...

But the egg issue still remains and I imagine creating one of those to be beyond reach at the moment! I guess its half a problem solved though !

Mind you, all that research to produce sperm, and here's me sitting here producing the little swimmers quite happily as I sit at my desk at work....

Could they produce these cells from female bone marrow? What would happen then ? Scary stuff...

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Girls Gone Wild boss jailed for contempt

Mr D

Spelling correction

*grumble flick

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Mr D

Its a clear cut case of persecution

Why must John Law punish the innocent so? This guy clearly just wanted to enlighten us into the fun of spring break and then gets punished in a civil case brought on by women who where underage, but not to underage to be drunk and naked.

When will someone stand up and fight for the honest gruble flick. What is the world coming to ?!?

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UK's lags bemoan Freeview channel blackout

Mr D

Or....

We could give them a big box with a screen at the front they can climb in, a nice dress up box with make up and let them make their own TV. Possibly filming it as another reality tv show "Con-Air(ed)".

The ideas are endless and maybe numbers could be culled with re-inactments of famous executions.. Although the love scenes wouldnt be everyones cup of tea I guess....

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Microsoft brings instant messaging to Xbox Live

Mr D

Oh Dear.... I have to tell the girlfriend..

.. She will soon be an Xbox widow. Its been bad enough with my Gears of War addiction but now im just going to be glued to the thing... So many friends and family members have Xbox 360 and live now... Soon it will be time to plug into it for good .... When does the "Better than life" rebrand start ...

I guess i'd better start drilling the holes....

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Masturbating woman shakes Michigan Uni frat house

Mr D

Shocked?

Well this has certainly changed my outlook on the typical american frat way of life...

What ever happened to calling every red blooded male you know to stand, watch and say "Duuuuuudeee....."

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