Posts by Dr Patrick J R Harkin

So, a mismatch between two databases has caused problems

Now, if we only had a single national ID system...

Perhaps this technique could be used...

...to make FACT self-financing?

Can Simon also appear...

...as a ticking column of angry black smoke?

What I really want...

Is a patch system that patches blogs so they make sense.

Allow me to be the first...

...to welcome the unmasking of our here-among-us-all-the-time supertasking overlords.

Judging by the press...

...they should have called this the "Large Headline Collider". Why can't they just wait until after the experiment and tell us all about it in tomorrow's edition - if there is one.

Sho, Blofeld...

You expect me to increase page click-through by using attractive user-selectable cascading style sheets while maintaining accessability and reducing server load?

No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!

Is this a new phrase for the dictionary?

Will "Bulgarian airbags" now be joined by "Lithuanian truncheon"?

Any bets as to whether the next month will see...

1) Her driver buying a new car

2) Her driver buying a new house

3) Her driver hiring a hitman?

And I'm afraid Naomi is English, from London's fashionable St. Reatham's district.

Hmmm...

Well, I suppose if it wobbles like a duck, and farts like a duck...

Soon the records will have vanished in the night...

...like an old oak table.

Sorry, couldn't work "Klaatu barada nikto" into it. (Apologies for the spelling, there's no glark accent on this keyboard)

As I drove into work this morning

my speedometer display read "You don't have to drive a Renault - other manufacturers are available."

Still not quite sure how you can use the concept of "commercial competiton" between products which are given away.

Wow.

It's like the Big Brother house, only smaller.

My TV is already 3D

Although the picture isn't.

Oh no! My Twitter account compromised!

How will I ev Oh look! A squirrel!

Don't waste monry on this!

Bring back Dr Who!

Oh. They did.

BRING BACK BLAKE'S 7!

So they tried to get rid of Thatcher...

....and they got rid of Dr Who.

<Wemmbley-Hogg>Brilliant. Just brilliant.</Wemmbley-Hogg>

How long until...

I can get that nifty egg-based cooling system for my PC? Then I shall laugh at the other nerds with their old-fashioned water-based cooling systems.

Show him the door.

In the time he wasted ogling that poor young woman, he could have lost billions on the mortgages markets.

Oh, hang on....

Could we all contribute to a subscription to some site which would keep these guys occupied during market ours?

I really, really wish...

...that the team was late for the press conference when they announced this!

Gambling sites laundering money...

Why do I have a mental picture of a tumble dryer divided into 36 red and black segments?

I can't help feeling...

...that it woul dhav ebeen better if they had used real aliens, and CGI'ed the scriptwriters.

Do you think the newsreader had seen?

She kept asking him if he was expecting a rise soon...

Transformers...

...sounds so bad I almost want to rent it to see if it really can be that dreadful. It's the cinematic equivalent of rubber-necking a car crash.

In Soviet Union...

...mouse trap you!

This is scarcely "news"

As soon as someone said "The passport has an RFID tag", this article could have been written.

Surely if you actually want to track someone (someone who you can get within 20 inches to read their tag in the first place) it'dd be far easier to plant your own RFID tag rather than rely on them carrying their passport.

So he's large, strong, naked and can dive over cliffs without harm

Is anyone else hearing the words "I need your cloze, bootz, unt motorzykle"?

So is everything I know about swans wrong?

Can I eat them? Can I break their wings with one blow of my arm? Do they not even make those boxes of matches?

From the patient record

Mr X presented to clinic for investigation of constipation. After the incident, he left without being seen, muttering "Doesn't matter anymore".

Oh, deary deary me...

Who done this renderin' for yer? Buncha cowboys, I reckon, see they ain't even done specular highlighin' cos it means they can save on the resource drains and I'm sure that gamma ain't safe. Tell you what I'll do, me and the lads'll stick a z-buffer under it - should hold until we can get back with a ram. And if you can pay cache...

If I want into their country...

...it doesn't seem unreasonable that I follow their procedures. I don't have a "right" to visit America, or any other country. Leaving the UK - yes, I think I have right to leave, but no one else is forced to accept me!

The online travel form which confuses me is the check-in, which you can do up to 48(?) hours before the flight.

Did you pack these bags yourself - options Yes/No. Correct answer "I haven't packed yet"

Have these bages been left unattended since you packed them? "I suppose that's a 'No'"

Could anyone have interfered with these bags without your knowledge? "How would I know?"

Medical records need to be accessible to "appropriate staff"

The fun part is "appropriate". If I fall under a bus and end up in A&E, I'd like them to have access to my records - and obviously I can't arrange that ahead of time. Other NHS services - generally, we know who's coming and can gain permission. But once you're "in the system" granularity of access is a nightmare. If you're admitted to my hospital with a chest infection, your lab results go into the general system. Can the surgeons see your results? Yes - but they usually won't be interested unless you get transferred to their care. We COULD apply tighter restrictions, but generally we don't. The rule is not "You can't" - because we know that never works! - but "You shouldn't - and we're watching." If someone access records inappropriately action should be taken - but IANAL and I don't know if DPA would work here.

However, professional behaviour is not enforced by the law, but by professional bodies. I don't know why the (Scottish equivalent of the) Crown Prosecution Service decided not to prosecute, but I suspect the GMC may still have an interest.

He hasn't necessarily got off, ahem, Scot free.

"And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then"

I'm a Rocket Man!

Eleven per cent couldn't name a single social-networking website.

I find that strangely reassuring!

NSW Director of Public Prosecutions

Why is he not safe for work? Or do I need new glasses?

"Pixazza hopes to do for images what Google’s AdSense did for web pages"

i.e. ruin them completely?

omg im stk in treehs! lol!

cn u rsq me?

Ah, the wonders of small sample sizes

Now, let's see it repeated. Until then - statistics is a fickle mistress...

@Lee

"**Assumedly he wanted to video women changing but until he is caught and questioned this might not be the case - he might have really been after men or children."

Or Daleks. You never know.

Seven foot tall?

So he's been sent down for a long stretch?

A spokesman for the kidnappers said...

I just don't understand what happened. We allowed him to scheduled his own release date, but it just kept slipping and slipping. He always had some excuse...

This is BRMB we're talking about.

And at 3pm on Xmas Day, none the less.

He probably upset both listeners.