Something interesting has happened in Hampshire.
705 posts • joined 22 Jan 2008
Something interesting has happened in Hampshire.
But mayonnaise? Any suggest why mayonnaise, rather than ketchup, mustard, remoullade, brown sauce, salad cream, Or is it a translation error and one of the topless women was called May O'Naise?
Trained ambulance crew needed Google translate support to assist a woman to do something she could have done without any help whatsoever.
Or perhaps a few rounds of Charades should form part of all paramedic training?
...as long as the transmission includes an entire series of Celebrity Big Brother. "Xzyygj! Place ZZ9/ZAlpha under quarantine immediately. We cannot risk this terrible plague escaping into the rest of the galaxy!"
"It had become lodged behind one of the magnets and we had to move a couple of filing cabinets to get to it. We couldn't do that until we had the keys and Dave from maintenance (who has the keys) accidentally got stuck tin the tunnel when we turned it on last time. He's been living on sandwiches and soda from the vending machines and the radiation hasn't affected him at all, except he can now see through time and teleport."
If you are going to drop a laptop, surely it's likely to be from higher than that? Doesn't this rating say "Will survive a hazard to which it's never going to be expose"? Perhaps we can have magic-proofing as a new component of tests in future: "The new Acesung X65 continued to function despite being exposed to a full strength Expeliamus spell and Ebola virus applied directly into to the USB3 port.."
"Does it scan?"
More to the point - will it blend?
Ditto my InterQuartz IQ10. It's a great phone though few apps run on it and the cord is a bit sort for my liking but it gets me through the day. No battery problems either.
"I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that. You're smart-watch says you've had enough and anyway the NFC reader in the wardrobe says you've no credit left on your card."
I pronounce it gif. But then I'm gust a jeek.
...but a nice big fan could blow them away. If the wind from the White House is above the maximum cruise speed of the drone, it won't get in!
(I wrote this as a joke but I'm beginning to wonder... Hello, patent office?)
But then I rejected the FedEx hub/spoke business model and refused to sign the Beatles.
...for some reason it reminds me of an old Dr Who set - http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00v1qqv
New Horizons here. Look, I don't quite know what's happened but I'm here, where you said the planet would be and it isn't. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Oh, there's some little dwarf thingy, but my memory banks definitely say there should be a planet around here somewhere...
...(which I estimate to be 0.4 Routemasters/second), this ship crashed into a solid wall the height of Nelson's Column, how many Bulgarian airbags would be needed to stop a brontesaurus in the wheel house from being hurt?
"This story has to be fake. Completely unbelievable they would place the start/stop button near any other controls. "
I'm not so sure. My Volvo (a marque with a fairly good reputation for safe design) has put the heated steering wheel switch (something you often want to turn off while driving) BETWEEN the ABS and Lane drift warning switches (things you generally don't want to turn off).
They've also put the fuel cap release and the tailgate release side by side which has caught me out a few times!
How many Olympic swimming pools is that?
How many Olympic swimming pools full would weigh as much an a London bus?
I'm with you, I Ain't Spartacus. SWMBO dragged me round the Hepworth. After I'd restrained myself suitably, I was rewarded with tea and cake in the cafe which overlooks the river. There was a small whirlpool directly under where we sat and it had attracted a collection of flotsam.
"That's rather ugly", she said, "They could have cleared that up."
"No!", I replied, "That's an installation! It's called 'The Journey My Heart Took". The artist has collected a naturally wind-fallen branch from everywhere she has ever lived and trapped them in a cage hidden under the surface of the water to circle endlessly without ever repeating the exact sequence of events."
"Oh, is it?"
"No, of course it bloody isn't but the fact that you could think it might be, even for an instant, should tell you a lot about the other 'art' we've seen tonight!"
"Hello? I'd like a table for six, about 12:30 on the 25th."
Surely the casting process will have made it a copy of Pocrepus?
"...but we'd like you fund our plan to market a device which does!"
Well, I'm no expert but...
"The Natural History Museum said that the skeleton was only missing the left arm and base of the tail."
"spends roughly two hours a day studying Microsoft's operating system"
Don't you sometimes wish Microsoft did?
...I'm worried by the phrase ""The hardest challenge was explaining the language of the test to a five-year-old," Does that mean Dad was in the room reading the questions?
...to the ""Border Control"-style TV shows.
I have learnt:
1. The easiest way to tell the Oz show from the Kiwi one is to wait until they go outside: If it is/has been raining, it's New Zealand
2. Australia, Canada and New Zealand all have problems with narcotic, cannabis, meth etc.
3. Brits try to smuggle cheap cigarettes from Tenerife.
We are the most boring smugglers on the planet. Unless all those people who've been caught for smuggling tobacco are double-bluffing and the fags are full of cocaine... "Oh, I didn't know Tenerife wasn't in the EU so I could only bring back 200. Oh well, you live and learn, here's my 100 quid duty..."
....did people in the 12th century complain about the noise from these new windmills which were ruining the landscape?
Hands up anyone who DIDN'T immediately wind the video forward to the three minute mark. Anyone?
"a statistically quite small group of people"
"It looks quite large to me." Not for this sort of research UNLESS they set up the project with a specific null-hypothesis relating numbers of sexual partners and prostate cancer. If they just looked for something associated with prostate cancer, it means nothing (and the fact that opposite results were found in heterosexual & homosexual men supports this). I did a study once trying to see if particular immunohistochemical patterns were associated with good or poor prognosis in leukaemia and lymphoma. I was too lazy to retype the list of parameters I wanted analysed and just put in "*" so the software analysed everything it had.
There was an amazingly strong correlation between being called "John" or "Mary" and early death.
Isn't it a little - well - bendy?
...on an UNMODERATED mailing list? I'm amazed their servers didn't melt years ago. Nothing goes on our lists unless it's checked.
I sometimes wonder what Christopher Walken's cobbler hums under his breath as he works.
"...and laid down a wire of pure iron one atom wide and three atoms thick on one of the ridges."
Yeah, that's, that's, that's pretty much they way I'd have gone about it. Yeah. I'd have painted it a different colour, though.
It's like a rainbow - you can see it in the sky, but it isn't really there. It's just an optical effect.
"some of the gold-braid types were nervous because we were proposing the use of brand new SRAM and EEPROM cards instead of core."
They were probably afraid you were trying to remove Corps memory.
Wasn't Samdroid Gamgee in Lord of the Ringtones?
...you're trying to configure the number 3 attitude adjustment reactor motor subsystem.
Would you like some help with that?"
My phone tried to autocorrect 54 to 45 last week (Seriously. No, I don't understand it either.) so perhaps that's what happened.
"Thank god you're here officer. We found a strange rock in the field after the meteor shower. When we opened it, something rolled under the couch. Timmy tried to get it out..."
Do you think we could genetically engineer them so their silk acts as a UV shade?
Always thinking of the public health angle.
Isn't titsup the usual operating mode for a LOHAN?
And Spangles. Remember Spangles? What the hell was "Olde English" flavour? Rickets and repressed sexuality?
"Google, HP, Logitech, Samsung, HTC and the list goes on........"
I should have gone to SpecSavers. I read that as "Google, HP Lovecraft, Samsung, HTC and the list goes on........
Surely I've seen an ad for an app that does that?
People called Lohan, they go to the house.
SPATIA INTER AURES - Space is in our minds (literally Space Between the Ears)
The exciting discovery was the envelope of smallpox scabs found tucked into the back of a book in a New Mexico library ten year s ago...
But how long to cover Wales to the depth of a double-decker bus?
I'd always assumed a boffin is someone who has a muffin with his tiffin. English muffin, obviously, not those vast, cakey American things. Boffins should also consider their work as "tinkering", even if it's "tinkering with plutonium and C4"
Someone should write a song about that. Oh hang on, someone has...
More fool them. I have TWO computers working on it, so I can cut that time in half.
...can write witty comments on El Reg for me.