So the way I discover that my camera takes blurred pictures...
...is to check the serial number? Wouldn't looking at the pictures be enough?
732 posts • joined 22 Jan 2008
...is to check the serial number? Wouldn't looking at the pictures be enough?
Dear gods, that's an opportunity I couldn't resist.
"But, boss, it says in the SOP we encrypt all invoice numbers and amounts with this one-time pad before entering them into the accounts software for security..."
I knew they were remaking Thunderbirds with CGI actors and real sets but I didn't realise the sets were going to be full-scale. Let me guess - the tower springs a leak and the blast of expelled air blows the World President's jet off course into the jungle while the tower looks like it'll fall on Lady Penelope who is trapped in her car and Scott has to prioritise personal feelings against civic duty?
"in Colorado anyone can be a funeral director, in Nevada you need to pay $345 and take an exam, and in California you need an arts degree."
I feel faintly insulted that my science degree in genetics doesn't allow me to dispose of bodies in California. Neither does my medical degree, though it does let me generate them.
If you had the degree of control over the lottery needed to fake the machine ball pick (which, if it's to look like the real machine, is Mission Impossible level gadgetry) surely it's easier to enter a winning ticket in the database of entries retrospectively?
My favourite is "Dear Aliens, have you mistakenly been sold Payment Protection Insurance?"
It seems attractive at first, but it NEVER ends well.
"Sparks burning the patient? Mad." Not TOO mad - surgical diathermy is (vast oversimplification) a deliberate burn intended either to cauterise or cut. I was once on the receiving end of some (non-surgical) low-frequency diathermy when the machine caught fire...
I smiled at the machines powering down until I remembered that it's not unknown for human surgeons to power down (permanently) during operations.
These figures are really interesting but I don't know with what to compare them.
Avoiding obstacles isn't hard if there's nothing to hit.
The early DOS version of Word was... an education. It made me the man I am today - grey-haired, balding and easily startled.
Did you have the external drive enclosures, or did you have very small handwriting?
Watches are round because of the rotating hand display; there's no mechanical or aesthetic need for something worn on the wrist to be circular. A screen based watch has no real need to be round. So - are hexagonal batteries a solution looking for a problem?
I thought 1st world = Mercury, 2nd world = Venus and 3rd world = us.
I am adopting the phrase "Amber alert" to mean "Management have just made a decision which will drive us all to drink". I expect it to get a lot of use.
I wonder if they got any useful recordings.
"We're aiming for the French vote."
"Sorry? You're claiming a trench coat? Why? I though it would be the oil."
"Tea tree oil? I suppose we could deal with that. In exchange for lumber?"
"You want to change to the Humber? OK, I think we could do that."
And repeat until the drinks trolley comes by again...
So either it'll make things better or it'll make them worse.
It's for seasoned analysis that this that I read El Reg...
Sadly, my computer only seems to connect to the dork web...
It really looks like something out of a Gerry Anderson show! (apart from Fireball XL5, obviously.)
Just how long was this holiday?
The Mercury Messenger probe lasted years beyond expected life span.
The Mars Opportunity Rover has gone 40 times over it's expected lifespan.
Why does my phone become obsolete every 12 months????
I believe the assembler opcode is BalloonAcquireNearestGround.
1. Blow down it and see if it comes out the end
2. Give it a bit of a thump and see if that sorts it out.
You can see why Sheldon is dismissive of engineers...
I used the delicate spin cycle and a non-bio detergent and everything...
I was never sure how to pronounce Huawei -so it's "sis-ko", is it?
...by saying I remember him best for the Mission Impossible TV series?
I can't quite accept that he's dead. They tried to fool us once before but he came back. So I'm still hoping...
It'll be official Apple money, the iDollar, which you'll be able to exchange for Apple products just like other dollars, only much, much better in a way which no-one can quite define and which will need a different shape of wallet for charging.
Something interesting has happened in Hampshire.
But mayonnaise? Any suggest why mayonnaise, rather than ketchup, mustard, remoullade, brown sauce, salad cream, Or is it a translation error and one of the topless women was called May O'Naise?
Trained ambulance crew needed Google translate support to assist a woman to do something she could have done without any help whatsoever.
Or perhaps a few rounds of Charades should form part of all paramedic training?
...as long as the transmission includes an entire series of Celebrity Big Brother. "Xzyygj! Place ZZ9/ZAlpha under quarantine immediately. We cannot risk this terrible plague escaping into the rest of the galaxy!"
"It had become lodged behind one of the magnets and we had to move a couple of filing cabinets to get to it. We couldn't do that until we had the keys and Dave from maintenance (who has the keys) accidentally got stuck tin the tunnel when we turned it on last time. He's been living on sandwiches and soda from the vending machines and the radiation hasn't affected him at all, except he can now see through time and teleport."
If you are going to drop a laptop, surely it's likely to be from higher than that? Doesn't this rating say "Will survive a hazard to which it's never going to be expose"? Perhaps we can have magic-proofing as a new component of tests in future: "The new Acesung X65 continued to function despite being exposed to a full strength Expeliamus spell and Ebola virus applied directly into to the USB3 port.."
"Does it scan?"
More to the point - will it blend?
Ditto my InterQuartz IQ10. It's a great phone though few apps run on it and the cord is a bit sort for my liking but it gets me through the day. No battery problems either.
"I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that. You're smart-watch says you've had enough and anyway the NFC reader in the wardrobe says you've no credit left on your card."
I pronounce it gif. But then I'm gust a jeek.
...but a nice big fan could blow them away. If the wind from the White House is above the maximum cruise speed of the drone, it won't get in!
(I wrote this as a joke but I'm beginning to wonder... Hello, patent office?)
But then I rejected the FedEx hub/spoke business model and refused to sign the Beatles.
...for some reason it reminds me of an old Dr Who set - http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00v1qqv
New Horizons here. Look, I don't quite know what's happened but I'm here, where you said the planet would be and it isn't. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Oh, there's some little dwarf thingy, but my memory banks definitely say there should be a planet around here somewhere...
...(which I estimate to be 0.4 Routemasters/second), this ship crashed into a solid wall the height of Nelson's Column, how many Bulgarian airbags would be needed to stop a brontesaurus in the wheel house from being hurt?
"This story has to be fake. Completely unbelievable they would place the start/stop button near any other controls. "
I'm not so sure. My Volvo (a marque with a fairly good reputation for safe design) has put the heated steering wheel switch (something you often want to turn off while driving) BETWEEN the ABS and Lane drift warning switches (things you generally don't want to turn off).
They've also put the fuel cap release and the tailgate release side by side which has caught me out a few times!
How many Olympic swimming pools is that?
How many Olympic swimming pools full would weigh as much an a London bus?
I'm with you, I Ain't Spartacus. SWMBO dragged me round the Hepworth. After I'd restrained myself suitably, I was rewarded with tea and cake in the cafe which overlooks the river. There was a small whirlpool directly under where we sat and it had attracted a collection of flotsam.
"That's rather ugly", she said, "They could have cleared that up."
"No!", I replied, "That's an installation! It's called 'The Journey My Heart Took". The artist has collected a naturally wind-fallen branch from everywhere she has ever lived and trapped them in a cage hidden under the surface of the water to circle endlessly without ever repeating the exact sequence of events."
"Oh, is it?"
"No, of course it bloody isn't but the fact that you could think it might be, even for an instant, should tell you a lot about the other 'art' we've seen tonight!"
"Hello? I'd like a table for six, about 12:30 on the 25th."
Surely the casting process will have made it a copy of Pocrepus?
"...but we'd like you fund our plan to market a device which does!"
Well, I'm no expert but...
"The Natural History Museum said that the skeleton was only missing the left arm and base of the tail."