670 posts • joined 22 Jan 2008
Re: Note Edge
Wasn't Samdroid Gamgee in Lord of the Ringtones?
"It looks like...
...you're trying to configure the number 3 attitude adjustment reactor motor subsystem.
Would you like some help with that?"
My phone tried to autocorrect 54 to 45 last week (Seriously. No, I don't understand it either.) so perhaps that's what happened.
I've seen this film...
"Thank god you're here officer. We found a strange rock in the field after the meteor shower. When we opened it, something rolled under the couch. Timmy tried to get it out..."
Those spiders building webs between treetops...
Do you think we could genetically engineer them so their silk acts as a UV shade?
Always thinking of the public health angle.
"Spanish launch goes titsup"
Isn't titsup the usual operating mode for a LOHAN?
Re: +1 for Opal Fruits
And Spangles. Remember Spangles? What the hell was "Olde English" flavour? Rickets and repressed sexuality?
"Google, HP, Logitech, Samsung, HTC and the list goes on........"
I should have gone to SpecSavers. I read that as "Google, HP Lovecraft, Samsung, HTC and the list goes on........
Delivering food to the ISS.
Surely I've seen an ad for an app that does that?
LOHANES EUNT DOMUS
People called Lohan, they go to the house.
SPATIA INTER AURES - Space is in our minds (literally Space Between the Ears)
This stuff will have been in sealed vials, so no big deal.
The exciting discovery was the envelope of smallpox scabs found tucked into the back of a book in a New Mexico library ten year s ago...
Glasses per socond?
But how long to cover Wales to the depth of a double-decker bus?
What's a boffin?
I'd always assumed a boffin is someone who has a muffin with his tiffin. English muffin, obviously, not those vast, cakey American things. Boffins should also consider their work as "tinkering", even if it's "tinkering with plutonium and C4"
Someone should write a song about that. Oh hang on, someone has...
10^18 times the life of the universe to crack?
More fool them. I have TWO computers working on it, so I can cut that time in half.
I want a robot that...
...can write witty comments on El Reg for me.
"It moves with me"
It's a portable icebox full of beer.
[Cue "My Google Glass is half-empty joke"]
Re: Better password needed
"No, I think he was exhibiting something called irony. "
That's like silvery, isn't it? Only cheaper?
What languages are available?
Will they be doing American to English?
It's like the fire service and call-outs to places like this University. We don't get charged for real fires, but we do get charged for false alarms when contractors set of alarms of people smoke in the toilets (we get a couple of free call-outs, then charged). The argument is that service is staffed and funded to provide (X) responses per year. It doesn't matter that (n) are fake; they require staff and resources and hence can be assigned a cost. If there we no false alarms, we'd need fewer fire engines & fire men so the service would be cheaper - the fake calls use real money.
For the SWAT guys I strongly suspect there's a desk load of paperwork after the event and conceivably damages to those SWATted or to people who can't get home through a roadblock. It all takes resource away from the job in hand.
Apparently it's hard to run a secure currency.
Who'd have thought it?
I feel sad that an innovative idea has failed...
...but it really did seem like space littering.
Re: Force feedback?
Nah, force feedback is when we tell them not to use racial profiling and that that reports of random stop and search in the press don't look good .
Isn't this the same as the (risks racist tag) Irish Virus which went round a few years ago?
"Greetings, You have just received the "IRISH VIRUS". As we don't have any programming experience, this Virus works on the honour system. Please delete all the files on your hard drive manually and forward this Virus to everyone on your mailing list. Thank you for your cooperation."
Ah. No. This one actually works.
I have a bad feeling about this...
"Neighbours of the star told our reporters 'We didn't see him much. Quiet type. He always kept himself to himself but as soon as we heard about the rogue asteroids wiping out the dinosaurs I just knew it had to be him."
"How do they propose to tell from a photo of fresh faced 3 year old me that from age 19ish I would have a full beard?"
That's a very good point, Sue.
I'm impressed at the standards
They wear hairnets and full gowns just to put the phones into the boxes. IMAGINE what the assembly facility must be like!
Please tell me...
...that the scientists announcing the world's most accurate clock were late for the press conference.
Re: Dropbox magic
Perhaps they calculate the hash during the upload where they have to have process the data, rather than go back and examine it later.
I hereby resolve...
....never to read any article with "quantum" in the headline.
It's just embarrassing how little I understand.
Mind you... Could these quantum scientist guys be bluffing? I mean if it gets you funding to play with lasers - you'd stretch the truth a bit wouldn't you? And who peer-reviews it all? OTHER QUANTUM PHYSICISTS! Mighty convenient, if you ask me.
"by carrying out the first skull transplant using plastic parts built in a 3D printer."
May I point out that this is an implant, not a transplant? My membership of the British Pedantic Society (soon to be renamed British Society of Pedants, as it's the members who are pedantic, not the society itself) is up for renewal.
As he's British and leaving the country to spend time with a group of male colleagues and get high, may I suggest "ISStag Night"
ANOTHER cosmological wager from Hawking?
I'm beginning to worry that the man has a bit of a gambling problem. Come to think of it, isn't he playing poker in his ST:NG cameo?
Re: Congratulations to the team ...
"Barraco Barner" Hate to own up, but back in 2007, on the first few times I heard his name on the radio (before I saw it written down) I thought the man running for president against John McCain was called Barry Cobalmer. And I can still never be quite sure whether it's McCain or McClane who was in a Die Hard movies.
A barometer? That's pretty useful.
Oh. Wait. It DOESN'T tell you how good the beer is before you go into the bar? That's disappointing.
Thank heavens it's not just me. I have now read the Wikipedia article "In mathematics and physics, a soliton is a self-reinforcing solitary wave (a wave packet or pulse) that maintains its shape while it travels at constant speed." but feel I should point out that "read" and "understood" are not synonyms.
I... I... I don't know what to say.
It's an Apple patent.
But it does seem (to this non-expert) actually useful.
Is this a glitch in The Matrix?
I assume this is the staue with its iOS 7 skin
It'll look better after they release iOS 8.
How visible will these buttons be?
Or have Apple just patented "Screen you daren't adjust to reduce glare for fear of losing all your work"?
I have discovered a truly marvellous proof of this,..
...which the margin of this internet is too narrow to contain.
A pedant writes...
You say "After all, the USPTO is a bit of a black box – pop something into it, and you never really know what will come out the other end."
Surely the point of a Black Box is that you generally DO know what th eoutput will be for a given input, you just don't know exactly one leads to the other.
None of which advances the argument one iota and probably has equal numbers of people saying "he's right, you know" and "What an idiot". So I think that's a perfect internet posting.
I have a strange suspicion...
...those two dots in the crater are a whale and a bowl of petunias.
Re: @ Arnaut the less - "I am thoroughly nuts in the minds of several engineers"
Yes - and dem wheel nuts get wheely wound up about dat sorta fing!
I've said it before and I'll say it again...
I understood every word of that.
The actual sentences, on the other hand...
" apparently you're talking upwards of 160mph (320kmph) for the jets"
Um, isn't 160mph nearer 256kph?
That's a rather judgemental comment
"Sucking the life out of our world".
There isn't enough information in the logo to reach that conclusion. It could just as easily be using its fangs to inject some form of neurotoxin.
For pets too?
For all I know my cat has one already. He doesn't shave often.
I hate these launch events.
I went to one in London for Excel 5 (yes, that long ago.) with swirly dry ice smoke, enormous product box rising out of the stage, "I GOT THE POWER!" repeatedly blasted from the speakers. Demo guy selected some numbers, drew a 3D chart - yells of approval from crowd! Grabbed 3D chart and rotated - the crowd went wild!
Two weeks later, I went to the Yorkshire launch event. No smoke, no rising pack, no music. Same demo. Demo guy selected some numbers, drew a 3D chart - no reaction from crowd. Grabbed 3D chart and rotated - total silence! "They got really excited by that in London", he whined. From the back of the room, in broad Yorkshire came the reply "It's only a bloody spreadsheet."
This is only a bloody tablet. It'll still be there after breakfast tomorrow.
I was worried we were heading into grey goo territory...
...but they've had the good sense to make these in nice bright colours, so that's OK.
Not a word.
OK, I did actually understand the words. It's the sentences which threw me.
Re: Is it wise leaving comments open on a live crown court prosecution?
You didn't have reason to believe it was stolen and you had no intent to deprive the legitimate owner of possession so I don't see an issue. If you'd kept it for a month before handing it in - grey area. What bothers me is - does turning it on to see in the lock screen has contact info count as "using it without authorisation"?
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- Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer