* Posts by Kevin Reader

156 publicly visible posts • joined 18 Jan 2008

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Fun fact: GPS uses 10 bits to store the week. That means it runs out... oh heck – April 6, 2019

Kevin Reader

Samsung Note II (2 N7100) - GPS died on 6th April

A relative has been rocking a Samsung Note II for years. As of the 6th April Rollover it gets VERY intermittent GPS lock. While cycling it lost position for 14 minutes. And this repeated may times during the outing. Using a diagnostic app shows the GPS module is returning dates in 1999. In theory that shouldn't lose the position data, but it started at same time.

So far we've found a support page on T-Mobile US that confirms failure on the Galaxy S II (similar age).

There's a french android page which recognises the rollover failure, but is confused by the failure to get gps lock.

A similar report has shown up on XDA with the same symptoms as us. That guy caught diagnostics where the phone suddenly drops all satelites and then slowly rebuilds connections. So maybe the device notices the date discrepancy vs the more detailed gps frames/pages and then resets itself. Rinse and Repeat.

So we've begun shopping for a new phone :(

Europe's PC mountain barely dented in price slash bloodbath

Kevin Reader
Facepalm

As others have implied... Its not really like that at all.

I suspect the "price reductions" have happened at the wholesaler, or just to the actual or notional RRP that these PCs (well laptops mainly with that manufacturer list) have.

Any reduction in the actual wholesale price has clearly not been passed on to the consumer. Also we are still suffering from the "netbook plague". Initially this kicked the pricepoint (and profit) out from under the notebook market until the netbook prices were bumped up to compensate.

The thing is Joe Consumer is led by the marketing and so will buy what is hitting headlines. In recent years this has been a netbook; 90% of which can't show him iPlayer which leads to consumer disappointment and even less buying in future. Had Joe bought a notebook then for similar money it would have been a do anything machine!

Now the "new thing" is indeed the fondle slab. This does at least provide a new physical footprint and smartphones show that for a lot of casual (or everyday) tasks the keyboard can be dispensed with. Thus we finally catchup with both Captain Kirk and John from the (original!) Tomorrow People. This is also where the marketing budgets are being spent. All marketing departments are incapable of promoting anything other than "the new thing" or two things at once. So the fondle slab gets the consumer spend.

As others have said there is also this kind of _recession_ thingy going on. Thus if one looks at the loss of revenue figures quoted in the article the loss follows the typical price of the product. Thus Toshiba and Sony suffer most, Asus next, and Acer which is usually cheap (if nothing else) suffers the least. The ONLY interesting figure is Samsung who appear to be defying this rule. So it appears that the consumer is avoiding expensive purchases and may be spending what money they do risk with Samsung or Acer.

Apple changed shape of Galaxy Tab in court filing

Kevin Reader

New Icon?

Perhaps we need a new reg icon which when viewed on the slant "only happens" to look like Steve, and when viewed from another slant "only happens" to look like a penis...

And I place this idea into the public domain :)

Kevin Reader

Its earlier than that...

As covered by el Reg some time ago....

http://www.reghardware.com/2011/02/07/apple_ipad_tomorrow_people/

Oh no its prior art:

"complete with silvery casing, shiny black bezel and 9.7in display - during the ITV series that ran from 1973 to 1979"

In shock news, electronic paper device is a) the size of a piece of paper, b) needs a frame around it so you don't keep breaking or bending it, and c) offers choices of things via icons.

Hang on that latter claim sounds familiar. The original "look and feel" suit between none other than Apple and Microsoft, which vigorously tried to ignore the fact that ALL the key work had been previously done at Xerox's research centre. And quoting "that wiki" (although I try not to) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_Computer,_Inc._v._Microsoft_Corporation

Quoth He:

The court ruled that, "Apple cannot get patent-protection for the idea of a graphical user interface, or the idea of a desktop metaphor [under copyright law]..."[1] In the midst of the Apple v. Microsoft lawsuit, Xerox also sued Apple alleging that Mac's GUI was heavily based on Xerox's.[2] The district court dismissed Xerox's claims without addressing whether Apple's GUI infringed Xerox's, since the latter licensed it to the former back in 1979 for pre-IPO stock.[3] Apple lost all claims in the Microsoft suit except for the ruling that the trash can icon and folder icons from Hewlett-Packard's NewWave windows application were infringing.

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

And they may have taken a business method patent out for it!

Although that might lead to a massive improvement in the brevity and accuracy of all business law suits, except those involving Apple.

And yes I know there might be a teensie bit of prior art from notable companies in the past, but they are hardly likely to say "no no, we invented lying in court filings". They have proxies to sure for them in cases like that ;)

Paris - because even she knows when to keep her briefs in order. Well most of the time anyway.

Moderatrix kisses the Reg goodbye

Kevin Reader
Facepalm

Indeed...

Indeed, though I fear the _laminators_ may be running through the night on that one.

Oracle drops OpenOffice on Apache, shuns forkers

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

Agreed

Agree, and the thing is "Joe Public" has enough trouble grasping that "Document" and "MS-Word (tm)" are not the same thing. Heck most people think computer=windows and browser=internet.

Ms Hilton, cos even she knows the best time for splits and forks.

EXPLODING MELONS terrify Chinese

Kevin Reader
Go

This!

That is all!

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

Carry On reboot doubtless in the offing...

This appears to confirm suspicions that Lester is working on a reboot of the Carry On franchise. After all its about the only one left given Hollywood's current obsession with reinventing the wheel and gilding the lily.

Ooooo Matron....

Paris - because clearly he'll be needing a modernised version of "our Babs".

Pakistani IT admin leaks bin Laden raid on Twitter

Kevin Reader
Black Helicopters

Or perhaps...

If one subscribed to certain "conspiracy" or "alternate news" theories (depending on ones level of belief) then:

a) He used his CIA "get out of jail free" card and is now off to a nice new life somewhere with a decent razor. (This relies on the idea his operation was created/assisted by the CIA when he was working with the original anti-russian fighters in Afganistan.)

b) He was killed to ensure that no "unfortunate" information leaked out after his capture. (See also the rush of serious illness amongst the displaced middle east dictators. None seem too likely live to see trial and/or embarrassing memoirs.)

If one gets at all "tin hat" there are far more complex and vaguely factual options and theories too. After all that list doesn't even consider "who setup 9/11" or why did Bush reject an offer to surrender him in 2001 (if true).

Emergency declared at second quake-wracked Japanese nuke plant

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

I found this about when a nuclear plant isn't broken

Interesting discussion of the "radiation risks" from a working nuclear plant. Basically the rules are so tight its more or the less safest place to be. Having the drains from a hospital going past your house being one of the most dangerous places to be.

http://depletedcranium.com/on-lnt-and-nuclear-energy/

Obviously its different once "stuff gets out", but this might serve as a handy reference.

(Paris - since even she knows the importance of "containment").

YouTube punts filth to shocked Reg readers

Kevin Reader
Dead Vulture

To quote a much older TV show...

To quote a much older TV show... "Never mind the quality, feel the width"

Something all of us (including mr jobs) can aspire to.

Coming soon: Die Hard 5 - The Zimmer Frame

Kevin Reader
Troll

Erm actually

the comic geek websites were so (un-)impressed it probably needs two titles just to carry the amount of shame and infamy heaped on it by the fans.

UK.gov shreds last ID scheme hard drives

Kevin Reader
Stop

The stick probably exists

I am tending to assume that your proverbial "large USB stick" has already been used. Probably multiple times.

First fondleslab found in 1970s kids TV sci-fi gem

Kevin Reader
Alien

Ah but...

John was as I recall the oldest and the defacto leader. He was probably deemed to be in his 20s. (It was only the awful 90s remake that everyone had to be hyper-young and trendy and so on.... shiver)

IIRC he had also spent sometime training with the "Galactic Federation". They only dealt with the Tomorrow People, cos they were inherently non-violent. So I guess there was a kind of pacifist/hippy message to it.

((Compared to the american's casting of 20-40 year olds as teens the actor was a bit young for the part. ))

Kevin Reader

shocked

shocked... that i did not remember that the submarine outfit was unisex.

Ms Moon may not have had a pose-able toy produced but Ms Drake appears to have had at least two! Well worth googling for the memories...

Kevin Reader
Alien

Just ask Jobs...

That is all.

ROBOT COP scatters LIVE GRENADES in San Francisco STREET

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

erm - damp + paper bag!

While I tend to agree in principal, the reasoning about "stored somewhere warm and damp for 50 years" would really need taking into account about the PAPER BAG that they were found in! And which presumably the family had examined before calling the police...

Paris - cos she knows what to do with damp wrappings, etc, etc....

Kevin Reader
Grenade

Marvin - (cough)

Even Marvin (the paranoid android) would have been more prepared than these guys....

"Like a stone through a wet paper bag."

Two thoughts on the coverage though:

1. The camera shake, for example, as the grenade is driven over is understandable, but at other points the camera moves like it is also under remote control (ie. zoom cycling). It would be interesting to know how they filmed it.

2. This coverage really shows why station idents, and screen banners are a huge waste of space, and that they ought to warn the cameramen about not relying on those parts of the screen!!! Very annoying on this coverage.

Russia has 'secret space warplane' to match US X-37B

Kevin Reader
Black Helicopters

Images of Buran and related technology

A semi-russian picture site has featured quite a lot of images of Buran, examples of which (at least training craft, if not live aircraft) appear to be quietly rusting away in parts of the former USSR.

eg:

http://englishrussia.com/index.php/2006/10/04/where-is-buran-now/

http://englishrussia.com/index.php/2010/12/07/buran-and-launching-site/

http://englishrussia.com/index.php/2007/09/01/more-about-soviet-space-program-vm-t-atlant/

Searching for "Buran" on their site presents loads of coverage. I found it interesting as I recall no mention of the Soviet Shuttle during the 80s or 90s.

Motorola Defy Android smartphone

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

Its been their business model for so long...

The problem is that the "new feature" ==> new phone to sell and to buy has been the business model of these companies for so long. the daft thing is most of them make such small profit (per device), except for apple and its genius marketing, that they could probably make more by charging for an actual O/S upgrade! most phone users would surely pay £10-£20 for a _supported_ upgrade.

Only HTC (and apple - shrug) seem to have recognised that the market is keen for updates AND that it breeds brand loyalty when people DO upgrade their hardware.

Paris - cos even she knows when to stroke her fans and users and when to blow them off.

Reg Hardware Reader Awards 2010 Winners

Kevin Reader
WTF?

That's the Ad revenue taken care of then...

(cough).

Are disk drives beginning to spin down?

Kevin Reader
Thumb Up

Exactly

Thanks guys, saved me a lot of typing.

Competition has pushed SATA drives below £50/TB. Assuming they make about the same margin on a drive then compared to _just_ a few years ago the HDD manufacturers are selling 2 or 3 less drives for the same storage. So they've nuked their own profits until either those drives start to fail (outside of warranty) or demand increases (downloaded HD movies?, but for most that needs faster and uncapped broadband - so not likely).

(oh, apparently it didn't).

T-Mobile imposes swingeing cuts on fair use data limits

Kevin Reader
Alien

Its getting hard to find good ones...

As someone else said best deals are likely to be GiffGaff with a GoodyBag (their name for bundles), or Three.

(( Although compared to this new t-mobile restriction even Virgin sim-only at £15pm or their £5 bolt on will give you 1GB. ))

Kevin Reader
Flame

They've been selling with this allowance as a key feature...

It is impossible to see the Internet Provision as a mere addendum to the two year contract when the advertising of their internet enabled, and especially android, phone contracts makes a huge play on the included internet!

I was looking at phone contracts and bargains/deal heavily over the past few weeks and a key selling point of the _direct_ t-mobile contracts was that they gave you 3GB on a android phone (or 1GB on some others) INCLUDED in the contract price. Plus the agreed minutes/texts, and Plus one other EXTRA (such as unlimited texts). This made their direct contracts about £5pm cheaper than those from resellers AND on the better phones gave you a 3GB FUP instead of a 1GB FUP. Indeed that FUP is still here: http://www.t-mobile.co.uk/services/uk/fairuse/?WT.mc_id=fup#fup2

While they did not define the limits on the sales page the FUP was unusually clear about things, and you were encouraged to read it. That to my mind makes the FUP an important part of the contract, and one would not expect it to be reduced to 1/6th of its prior value during the contract on a mere 30 days notice. Especially if anyone bought their 2 year contract in the last month. Bait and switch indeed. That's like selling you an annual train ticket and then cancelling most of the trains.

They are trying to rely on the Internet Plus bundle being an "Additional Service" as defined in their term: " an optional/extra Service which can be added to Your Account, the Charges and terms and conditions for which are set out in..." They may not get away with this since the Internet Plus booster is not 'buyable', and is really a fundamental part of those contracts. You can only remove it and they warn you of your terrible fate if you do.

As another commentator said this may well be the fruity Orange, wagging the t-mobile dog. I had previously been shocked at _how low_ orange's FUP was with many contracts only receiving 250MB/month. An android or apple phone might eat that in days, or hours!

And remember that any above contract usage is charged by almost all the phone companies at an outlandish rate often higher than their PAYG! Even phone minutes, let alone mobile internet. T-mobile's fup actually implies that they will block or throttle net use ("If you use more than your fair use policy amount, we won't charge you any more, but we may restrict how you can use your plan, depending on how often you go over your amount and by how much"). Most switch to charging 60p-102p per day (with another FUP) or even something high per MB.

Just confirmed (8.47pm 10th January 2010) and they are still marketing the bundled "internet Plus" with 3GB FUP. I wonder if perhaps they are targeting those who are "out of contract" with this new term.... Or they are targeting business users relying on this:

"2.11.1. If You are a Consumer and the change of terms and

conditions is not of material detriment to You or You are

not a Consumer, We will send You Written Notice 30 days

before the terms and conditions are due to change. The

new terms and conditions will automatically apply to You

once that notice has run out.

2.11.2. If You are a Consumer and the change is of material

detriment to You, We will send You Written Notice 30 days

before the terms and conditions are due to change. The

new terms and conditions will apply to You once that

notice has run out, unless You terminate Your Agreement

with Us within that notice period. If You do this You won’t

have to pay any Cancellation Charge that would otherwise

apply, see point 7.2.3.2."

(Sorry that's so long. So relieved we didn't take a new contract now!).

Governments stonewall interwebs porn domain

Kevin Reader
Thumb Up

Thats a great idea...

All politics should be relegated to ".lie" or for the more conspiracy minded ".nwo".

This would also prevent me having to read exhaustive complaints about the "cuts", (nb. i abore the cuts, but wonder where the money would come from to avoid them - oh that's right more tax), without the same complainers wondering how our previous "socialist (sic)" government a) bankrupted the treasury and b) so quietly bailed out the bankers....

"socialists rescue international merchant banks and bankers".... not the headline I remember seeing, nor any riots in the street. Guess that's why the banks gave up _before_ the tories got in.

Mass mind control artist condemns El Reg to obscurity

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

It does...??? Hang on it does!

"El Reg does have a reputation to maintain and standards to uphold!"

My initial response was: It does...? Good grief, hardly anyone's ever written than before...

My more considered response is "indeed it does". What this requires is some serious investigative journalism, with the results presented in an easily accessible medium. So one of the following:

a) Playmobile reconstruction of Mr L's minions extracting dossiers from El Reg, or

b) Reconstruction of the Moderatrix demonstrating to Mr L that stealing El Reg's glory does not go unpunished. (playmobile optional ;))

Ms Hilton since even she's always been certain about the difference of coming first or second.

WikiLeaks re-taunts feds with US Amazon mirrors

Kevin Reader
Big Brother

Quite

Quite. Or as we used to explain in 70s. The Republicans are most like the conservatives but to the right of Mrs Thatcher. The Democrats are most like the conservatives but to the right of Mrs Thatcher. They are so very different (NOT). This classification system broke down in the 00s since half of labour's policies were then to the right of the tories but carefully wrapped in left wing language (thus the lack of riots, etc).

I think the two American parties argue to a) make it look like they are _different_ in some mystical way (and that's without wearing a tin foil hat), and b) because (to me like the whole catholic-protestant animosity over the years) the most fearful competitor is the one most like you.

'Hippy' energy kingpin's electric Noddy-car in epic FAIL

Kevin Reader
Stop

Errm - much worse than that.

Actually a lot of houses are only rated at 80A, with older houses often at 60A. A few more recent builds might have 100A. And unless you turn everything else off while the car is charging you cannot divert a huge amount of that to your car, even if its in the garage and has a HUGE F-ing plug on it.

To cope with more than that would require a new feed to the house. The leccy boards would also need to worry about balancing these very high loads out unless they know EVERYONE had a leccy car and would probably be charging it. So houses might need to be on three phase (even more cabling and expense and upfront energy). And even that might be not enough complication as if a few neighbours had a late night the imbalance might blow the street's substation. So more gear in either the substations or the home to load balance these massive car chargers running at either 0 or 100A+. That would all be a) expensive and b) involve massive upfront costs.

So leccy cars can only really work if - service stations can do a battery swap while you are paying the bill - so about 3-5 minutes like a fill up now. That way only the service station has to be on a huge power feed AND can balance its own loads. Neato.

They might also work for specific situations such as Japanese town cars.

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

What we really need...

What we really need is a way to trap the hydrogen in some more efficient way. Some mechanism where it could be handled fairly easily and in relative safety. Maybe chemistry might have the key....

Maybe - just maybe - we could create a molecule with a lot of hydrogen in it, using another element with lots of bonds. I don't know - something like carbon or silicon or something. We could call them hydro-silicates or similar.

That might make it really efficient to recharge the vehicle and give a long range due to the high energy density.... Hmmm - wonder why no-one thought of this before.

:)

Erm - Paris cos she knows all about getting a good bang for your buck.

Sinister scams 'sextort' social networkers

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

And they weren't allowed to ride the bikes...

Seriously - it was too much risk for the insurers.

This proved awkward when they had him move the bike a few feet cos the script said "no helmet on", and he ran himself over. There is a scene shot afterwards where Estrada was in a hospital bed, and yes indeed he was, a real one!

Paris - cos she never falls off when she gets her leg over...

Clive Sinclair unveils 'X-1' battery pedalo bubble-bike

Kevin Reader
WTF?

I fear that...

I fear that like me the article writer is a bit jealous over the last bit.... she really does appear to be quite a special lady. :)

This does seem a design created to make the C5 seem logical by comparison. Any crosswind and this X-1 is going to be all over the shop. And with no doors and a hole in the floor its not exactly weather tight is it... weird.

PARIS looking 50/50 for Saturday launch

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

oh.

Aah, a bloke.

I was hoping you might have got the eponymous Ms Hilton to waggle the joystick for you. I understand she has appropriate experience and there are less countries she can fly into these days. That 747 she "borrows from a friend" would have made a nice chase plane too.

Hmm. So holding out for someone with the "right stuff"... Nasa astronaut would be good.

Grocery terminals slurped payment card data

Kevin Reader
Alert

Although on the first roll out....

The story I heard about an early roll out of terminals, for one of the petrol stations, was that the shipment of terminals got "misplaced" and then re-found in the warehouse. In between times they had been hacked to log/transmit the data before encryption. Neat. And of course loads of bankers (I think that sounds right) going "well you must have told someone"...

Now that might be an urban legend, or it might be true.

Kevin Reader
Welcome

Lidl also only do debits...

I think its a german, budget store thing. With tight margins Lidl don't take credit cards either. Aldi probably viewed as the more "up market target" or simply has the larger US presence.

Kevin Reader
Flame

That being the whole point....

Chip and Pin provided two things: i) a light level of security to reduce casual card theft, and ii) a delightful opportunity to blame all other fraud on the customer! Ka-Ching! As I believe the banks put it.

We had 3 cards out of 3 cloned over 18 months in sarfend. At least one had pin access.

SCO gets sale approval

Kevin Reader
Flame

ultimate shell game

And it creates the kind of litigation shell that cannot be counter sued as it has nothing of value to be sued for....

One can only assume/hope that IBM and others will oppose the sale which will only go to pay off an ex director who orchestrated a very weird load deal, and the liquidators and their mates.

Sadly the bankruptcy judge appears to operate in full Delaware mode, where the consideration of creditors comes a long way down the priority list. After all what are they going to do... "take him out back and shoot him?" As he said himself.

Thai mobe outfit warns of deadly roaming charges

Kevin Reader
Pirate

It may actually be worse than this....

If I recall the volcano disruption stories correctly the billing can actually be worse than that. As I understand it the minute your phone is noticed (ie. phone function = on) abroad and if you have international roaming enabled that country/network becomes the destination for your calls.

As your caller has no knowledge of this any resulting bills are paid by you. The effect is thus worse if you do not answer: eg:

1. You answer, the caller pays to call you (in the uk), and you pay roaming rates to hear them abroad. Not too bad, although the fee may be excessive and its less fair if they are in that country on the very network that is handling your phone.

2. The call goes unanswered, so it is routed back to the uk and again someone (you) has to pay since the caller does not know. Notice that you are using two _circuits_ one to abroad and one back to blightly. Therefore you may get called billed twice for the same message. Rather than reject the call and have your home network handle all of the voicemail the operators (may have) adopted this clever scheme where you pay double roaming to leave a message.

3. At some point you check your voicemail, again calling from abroad. So you pay the roaming rate to hear the message. Notice that this may be the THIRD payment for this particular message. Nice.

Oh, and since you turned your phone on ONCE this remains the process until you manage to get it recognised in another country or on another carrier. Thus the advice that if you take a phone abroad for emergencies: get a local sim, or never turn it on, or be *very sure* that you have no voicemail or diversion services active.

Drunken employee pops cap in server

Kevin Reader
Go

errm, the Eddie option...

Although sadly fictional, *Eddie Shoestring* also used an American "weapon of choice", a baseball bat, in his character defining resignation from IT. As I recall this was occasionally shown in a flashback, but there's no evidence on the web.

I should think even a single whack on the casing would not have done much for those late 70s multiplatter disk packs...

ID card astroturf - No2ID beats the truth out of IPS

Kevin Reader
Flame

And it won't go away, a dusty file awaits the next government

As with the infamous IR35, we should beware the ID card plans sitting in a dusty file, ready for the next change of government. You will recall that Ken Clarke was rumoured to have laughed out the entire "we hate contractors" concept when in power last time, and it was breezed out to delight Brown, Hewitt, and Red Dawn. The politics of envy indeed. Strangely they were less strict with their banking and celebrity chums, odd that!

Remember if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear. (Honest!) Oh no sorry that didn't work for MPs expenses or the Home Office. Oh, or the Iraq invasion.

Steve Jobs death-grips iPhone 4 reality

Kevin Reader
IT Angle

Quite!

The point is that the lie, even if caught is still much cheaper than retooling and/or refunding any significant proportion of 3 million units. Even if you only ship them to and from the 3rd world to have children paint lacquer (or tape) around the case.... By the time you add shipping, handling, packaging, people preferring their own unit back, etc its even more expensive.

No IT angle? Well thats because this (and apple) are all about marketting.

Observer columnist in online porn mixup

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

Go Sarah, Go Sarah....

That's is all.

Paris - cos at the moment there's no "Sarah Tape", and you can count on the fingers of one hand the commentards who don't hope for that fate full day.

Windows 7 Backup gets users' backs up

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

I give a vote for Areca Backup

After hunting around for file level backup technology that would work across anything from antique windows to the latest thing, I would recommend ARECA Backup, free and open sauce. This is Java based so I can't reliably claim for its raw speed. It will even run on windows ME (or 98) with JRE-1-5-0-22 although classically the installer fails on pre-XP setups! Simply install the zip version instead!

On the micro$soft "solution" I suppose it could be worse, they might have failed to implement the "restore" function. Although as almost no-one has completed a backup...?

Paris - cos even she takes an acceptable image, and most commentards would rapidly be completely spent in her presence.

Spider-Man and Jedi Knights bust X-Men comic thief

Kevin Reader
Happy

There's already a video including....

There's already a video including security camera shots and some reconstruction and interview.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newsvideo/weirdnewsvideo/7676875/Spiderman-prevents-comic-book-robbery.html

Sorry huge link at the torygraph.

Megan Fox not world's sexiest woman: Official

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

Is this some sort of jargon...

If the esteemed Moderatrix will excuse my (cough) innocence is: "She always looks like she's just fallen out of a shooting gallery." some sort of exotic, erotic or feminine jargon that I've missed out on. The mind boggles...

I thought this poster summed up the whole twilight situation in a different light: http://verydemotivational.com/2010/04/16/demotivational-posters-twilight-2/

As to Ms Cole nee Tweedy I've often thought that she manages to be very pretty in a very not-sexy way. Its more like looking at a very attractive relative, than someone oozing sexuality, or even showing it. (Oh dear did I write that out loud). Rather like Rachel Stevens has always been and who's also in the 100.

Ms Hilton for several very obvious reasons.

Brit astrophysical model scoops £1.1m at poker

Kevin Reader
Welcome

If she weren't already attached...

... it seems to me her natural pairing would be with Prof Brian Cox.

Can you imagine the potential in their kids...

I for one welcome our new sci-music overlords.

PARIS hacked Canon: 108 minutes, 1,298 stills

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

That's what I thought the title meant too. (n/t)

That is all.

Police send Reg hack CRB check database

Kevin Reader
Pirate

Well actually...

According the story el Reg had TWO DAYS from when they told Gwent for anything to happen.

I have this mental image of the Moderatrix in full regalia in front of the mail server guarding it from interference.

Bulgarians cop an eyeful of Penthouse billboard filth

Kevin Reader
Dead Vulture

Oh poor poor Moderitrix

Most of Lester's recent stories appear designed purely to increase the level of stress and degradation to which the lovely Miss Bee is exposed. This seems unfair and I suggest that she deal very firmly with him.

Penthouse, Kiddy Bra, Donkey, shudder.

Rutland Telecom offers local internet for local people

Kevin Reader
Paris Hilton

Shame they didn't call it RWT.

Rutland Wired Telecom in honour of course of the famous Rutland Weekend Telecom.

Unless my memory's gone again. In which case someone will post a pithy correction no doubt.

(( Miss Hilton cos she knows all about maintaining a strong local connection. ))

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