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* Posts by Neil Johnstone

8 posts • joined 17 Jan 2008

Plod offered SIM confiscation powers by Tories

Neil Johnstone
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@AC "Youths" and "Conscription"

Many thanks for reminding me that I haven't watched "Yes, Prime Minister" for a while and condensing the whole point of half the series into 2 El Reg posts.

How about sending the miscreants off to rescue Old English Sheepdogs stranded on Salisbury Plain?

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Russian snatches world's strongest 'intimate muscles' crown

Neil Johnstone
Headmaster

@is it just me...

"or has anyone else segwayed into eastern european shotputters and thai ping-pong enthusiasts???"

Michael, you really must keep better control of your personal-mobility/make-dubya-look-like-a-twat vehicle.

To try and segue into our Russian friend is a different matter entirely...

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11 Time Lords plan charity shindig

Neil Johnstone

A Cushing Blow

The "Doctor" of the movies ,as played by Peter Cushing doesn't fit into this argument, 'cos he ain't a Time Lord.

He is a Human, (as in Earth-born) an eccentric, a scientist and inventor with an interest in time-travel machines.

Basically, he's like Doc Emmett Brown on Ritalin.

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Motorola waves in gesture-sensitive phone

Neil Johnstone
Paris Hilton

Gesture activated camera...

An excerpt from the manual:

"Use the screen as a viewfinder and shake twice to take the picture."

Shurely shome mishtake...

Paris because all the best footage of her is blurry.

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Operators and handset vendors plug standard charger

Neil Johnstone
Paris Hilton

@ Hooray

I too had the o2 XDA exec and used it a lot. The micro USB broke free and rattled around inside the casing giving me a) worries about bits of metal going where they shouldn't and b) no way to charge the phone. Got it replaced with another o2 XDA exec and used it a lot. The micro USB broke free and rattled around inside the casing giving me a) worries about bits of metal going where they shouldn't and b) no way to charge the phone.

Micro USB as standard: fantastic idea, but c'mon, manufacturers, good build quality and ruggedisation please!

Paris, because nobody has broken her socket twice.

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Doner kebabs: Death wrapped in pitta bread

Neil Johnstone
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Kebabs 101

There's a bit of confusion here about what a "Doner kebab" actually is.

The elephant's leg slowly rotating on the vertical spit warmed to germ breeding optimal temperature is the beast (beast cocktail) on which the article is based.

I've spent a while living in Germany and these are the "rules" there.

An AC said that it was a Gyros. In Der Vaterland Gyros is the strips of marinaded pork on a vertical and cooked 'till the outside goes crispy, sliced into little chunks and serves in a fluffy pitta bread, with tsatsiki and feta melted on it for a proper mouth-gasm. These are made by the Greek guys.

The Turks make Doner Kebap which is like the UK, but with far better meat and, yes, served on a plate with sauces. Not even a hint of pig therein.

It used to be a favourite hobby of mine to watch a new intake of young squaddies get munted on beer they don't know, look for the only words they think they understand - "Doner" and "Kebap", order up and sit at a table to wait.

When the lovingly prepared and presented snack is placed in front of them on a plate with a knife and fork the general response is "What the fuck's this shit supposed to be then?"

A whole lot better than the shit we eat at home mate, that's what.

Hungry now. When's the next Eurostar?

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New Bond movie is Quantum of Solace

Neil Johnstone
Alert

Dumbing down a Bond title for the US market? Never.

The original title for Timothy Dalton's second outing was "License Revoked"- there are even posters out there somewhere with this title on it, but the studio didn't think that certain Colonials would understand what the word "Revoked" means.

So, "Quantum of Solace" may cause a bit of confusion, but if it makes certain people get a dictionary out, Band may suddenly be accused of being "educational", heaven forbid.

The original title for "Tomorrow Never Dies" was "Tomorrow Never Lies" (as in the fictional newspaper 'Tomorrow' never lies to the people (and considering the plot that's quite cleverly ironic). A typo turned the L into a D: The producers thought this was a bit more "Bondish" anyway.

I can't wait for the "Hildebrand Rarity" (obviously without "The" at the beginning) and the excuses for using THAT one!

IT connection- a small typo can make a big change!

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US boffins create darkest material ever

Neil Johnstone
Coat

...But according to Milton...

"His dark materials to create more Worlds,"

Which means that Philip Pullman would never be able to even find his coat.

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