* Posts by Martin

772 posts • joined 17 Jan 2008

Page:

Panicked teen hanged himself after receiving ransomware scam email

Martin
FAIL

How to spoil a good comment.

Meanwhile, the bbc just locked up your gran for failiure to pay the license fee even though she doesnt own a tele.

It's an excellent comment, but completely undermined by this ridiculous piece of exaggeration at the end. I want to upvote you for the comment, but downvote you for this.

1
1

Pull up the Windows 10 duvet and pretend Win8 and Vista were BAD DREAMS

Martin
Happy

Re: Linux.

there needs to be a unified 'app store'...

And so there is on Mint. It's called the Software Manager.

5
0

‘Whatever happened to Vladimir Putin?’ and other crap New Year prophesies

Martin
Happy

Re: Thank you.

A good opportunity to retell one of my favourite jokes.

A freelance Cobol programmer had made so much money by August 1999 fixing Y2K bugs, he decided to spend some of it. So he got himself cryogenically frozen, to be woken up in 2015, when, he hoped, any Y2K issues would be well fixed and the world would be a better place to live.

He work up...and looked round. He was in a hovering bed with robots looking after him. He was massively impressed by the level of the technology. Suddenly a voice spoke to him, saying "How are you feeling?"

"Fine" he said. "But I'm amazed by the technology you'd managed to get to by 2015".

"Ah" said the voice. "Actually, it's 2096, and we're a bit concerned about a possible Y2.1K bug. So we've woken you up as you're the only Cobol programmer we can find."

1
0

DVRs at the ready tonight: El Reg's motor Vulture is on the tellybox

Martin
Happy

And still renting it from Radio Rentals?

2
0

Tesla S P85+: Smiling all the way to the next charging point

Martin
Happy

Re: A few downsides

If you were looking for the engine under the bonnet of a Tesla I think you would be perplexed too.

Reminds me of the VERY old joke about two little old ladies out for a drive in their VW Beetle. The car breaks down, and they get out and lift up the bonnet.

"Well!" says one old lady. "No wonder it doesn't work. Someone has stolen the engine!"

"Never mind" says the other old dear. "There's a spare one in the boot."

Though, of course, in the Tesla, there isn't a spare in the boot either.

0
0

Facebook hackers work blue on Crayola coloring page

Martin
Thumb Down

Re: B'wah ha ha ha ha ha haaahhhh

Hmm.

Of course, there is the alternative point of view - that this is pointless and peurile - on a par with spray-painting a willy on a poster advertising children's toys.

3
0

NASA closing on fix for Opportunity rover's 'amnesia'

Martin
Headmaster

Re: New OS huh?

...and THERE'S no Start button. Sigh.

3
0

Hang on a second – Time Lords have added one to 2015

Martin

Re: Push

Everyone, find your nearest East-facing wall, and give it a push.

That actually wouldn't work - as you push the wall eastward, your feet will push the world westwards.

Better for everyone to face East and take one step forward at the same time - that should do it!

0
4
Martin

To be fair, it's a tricky one to test. Unit testing is easy enough, but system testing? How do you set up a pre-production system and set it up to run the time with an extra second added?

4
1

Hubble 'scope snaps ENORMO SPACE ERECTION: Pillars of Creation 20 years on

Martin
Headmaster

First rule of corrections.

You'll make a mistake in your correction.

Cannon, not canon.

15
0

Alien Earths are out there: Our home is not 'unique'

Martin
FAIL

Re: I think your

Google nigel molesworth and al will become clere.

7
0

FREE EBOOKS: Apple falls into line with EU refund laws

Martin

Simple work-round?

Surely the simple solution is to allow a refund on the ebook so long as it has not been used. Once it's been opened by the ebook reader software, you can't get a refund (unless it's faulty, of course).

1
0

Fill 'er up: 'Leccy car firm Tesla brings back PUMP SERVICE

Martin

Re: Charge up at the supermarket

They've got that at our local Waitrose.

0
0

Here's Johnny! Top Ten fantasy Blu-ray boxsets and special editions

Martin

And am I alone in thinking that The Lost World has aged better than its celebrated forebear?

Yes.

3
0

Sound and battery: 20 portable Bluetooth speakers

Martin
Headmaster

Re: Grammar

Well, I can't actually see any misuse of "its" or "it's" in that article.

Just from the first page:-

The arrival of Bluetooth 4, with its reduced hunger for power... - correct!

Nearly 30cm long and just over a kilo in weight, it's not as easily portable as the others here - correct!

I can't be bothered to check all ten pages, but I think the writer has it right.

1
0
Martin

A little surprised you didn't mention this one...

bp2001

...as you gave it a nice review about three months ago. And it's cheaper than all of these and works pretty well.

0
0

You have a 'SIMPLE QUESTION'? Well, the answer is NO

Martin
FAIL

Re: The real answer

OK - you should assume nerds will check your working.

00110010 in binary is 50 in decimal. 42 is 00101010.

And typing it twice is either 50 50 or a largish number I can't be bothered to work out.

3
0

So this Saudi Prince calls and asks why he can't watch movies ...

Martin

Re: Computer stupidities...

Ahahahaaaaaa... you have a female boss...

I assume you're going for the record for the number of downvotes for a single comment. I think you've got an excellent chance of getting it.

6
0

Apple knob refusenik Sir Jony Ive handed award - for talking BOLLOCKS

Martin
Headmaster

Re: Rejected alternatives

Appendage.

1
0

Sonos rattles begging bowl, hopes for $130m cash stream

Martin
WTF?

Re: They could try adding Hi-Fi to the mix

Yes, the Connect box might well be excellent - but £279? Two hundred and seventy nine quid?

Which is why I still soldier on with my Squeezeboxen. Yes, they are looking a little old-fashioned now, and yes, they are not quite hassle-free to set up - but once they are working, they just keep working.

3
0

ESA finds FOURTH comet touchdown for Philae lander

Martin
FAIL

Daily Mail Science Tech?

An oxymoron if ever I heard one.

1
0

Useless 'computer engineer' Barbie FIRED in three-way fsck row

Martin

Re: Not the right way to promote IT among girls... but realistic, after all

Realistic?

I hate to break it to you, but Dilbert is not a documentary.

2
6

Ofcom tackles complaint over Premier League footie TV rights

Martin
FAIL

Re: No option?

"Spending two hours in the company of mindless idiots mouthing obscenities, in the cold and wet of a November evening"

Those mindless idiots are what makes a football match. If there were no fans physically at the game, there wouldn't be any atmosphere. It's like watching in a vacuum - utterly soulless.

And speaking as one of those mindless idiots - we SHOUT obscenities, not just mouth them :)

You go ahead and enjoy your game, with your beer, in front of your HD TV, pontificating about the finer points of the game. But if you've never actually been to a live match - you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

3
4
Martin
Happy

That's not quite fair

Top class professional football is to sport as a top class orchestra, opera company or rock band is to music. It's got top quality performances, thrills, disappointments, overpaid prima donnas - the lot.

WWE is to sport as X-Factor is to music.

2
0

Kindle, meet my partner. Darling, play nice with Kindle, please

Martin

Re: Xerox, anyone?

So I propose that you always get a paper book along with any ebook which has DRM.

Or alternatively, if you buy a real book, you get an automatic copy of the ebook.

3
0

Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title

Martin
Happy

Re: The Bible

Further to my "citation needed". There seems to be no doubt that more bibles have been printed in the last hundred years than any other book - but that's not quite the same as "would win every year".

Snopes doesn't help, surprisingly.

But this is interesting.

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2012/dec/20/bible-outsells-50-shades-of-grey

So in Norway, that year, the Bible was indeed one of the best sellers of the year. But please note that (a) it was a new translation and (b) it was still only in the top 15 books for 50 out of 52.

So five minutes of research convinces me that the Bible is not the huge bestseller people would like us to believe, and that there is little evidence for the statement that it is generally omitted from bestseller lists.

2
0
Martin

Re: The Bible

Note that the bible is not included in the bestseller lists as it would win every year.

Citation needed. How many people buy a bible each year, as opposed to schools or churches buying them in bulk?

9
1

Rich techbro CEOs told to SLEEP ROUGH before slamming the poor

Martin
Thumb Down

Re: New depths of stupid plumbed by ... the above

How much the CEO pays for his next Ferrari doesn't impact how much the cleaner pays for rice or gas. It just doesn't.

No, but how much the CEO pays to rent or buy his flat does encourage the prices to go sky-high, putting people who can't afford them onto the street.

10
3

Consumers start feeling the love as Chromebook sales surge

Martin
Thumb Down

Re: Can we have figures that mean something?

"...not a cutdown and limited inferior product like Chrome."

Says someone who has clearly never used a Chromebook.

I think we can safely assume that Windows running on a similarly-spec'd box as a Chromebook will not boot within ten seconds from scratch. It might just crawl up to speed within a minute.

It will also require regular updates (which will take minutes at a time) to keep it secure, as opposed to regular automated Chromebook updates which taken literally seconds to run. Oh - and you'll have to run an anti-virus check on it all the time, which will make it run even more slowly.

It will barely be able to run Microsoft Office, and will not be able to run most games. Which is basically the same as a Chromebook.

So what was that about cutdown and limited?

2
0

Doctor Who and the Dalek: 10-year-old tests BBC programming game

Martin

Re: hold on...

You don't learn to read by starting with D H Lawrence.

You don't learn to write with calligraphy pens.

You don't learn art by starting with oil paints.

You don't learn physics by starting with quantum mechanics.

You don't learn French by starting with Flaubert.

You shouldn't learn to program by starting with C or C#.

12
0
Martin
FAIL

Re: hold on...

But by your argument, we should only teach kids Excel and Word for office use, as that's what they're going to need. But that's completely wrong. We should teach kids how to use SOFTWARE - so they can use Microsoft Office 2007 or Office 2010 or Libre Office or Google Docs and not be phased because it's not exactly the same.

Similarly - we should teach kids to program - not teach them a specific programming language. Scratch, Pascal, Python - doesn't matter. Hell, I learned to program with Algol and switched soon after to Basic and then Fortran. And my first actual job was in Assembler. It's the principles of basic algorithms you're trying to teach ten-year-olds - not the details of object inheritance, polymorphism and operator overload.

19
1

Is living with Dolby Atmos worth the faff?

Martin
Happy

A perfect example of Betteridge's Law of Headlines.

That is all.

2
0
Martin
Happy

Re: Pure H2O versus Flavoured drinks

When it rains I look outside...

I remember playing Atom Heart Mother on a pretty crap stereo system in the early seventies, with very ordinary speakers wall mounted either side of my bedroom window. There's a bit near the start when a motorbike starts up and goes from one side to the other and off into the distance. A friend of mine who was a motorbike enthusiast, and who hadn't heard the album before, ran to the window to look outside to see if he could spot the bike going past.

4
0

It's a TAB-tastrophe – 83 million fewer units to ship in 2014

Martin

I have a tablet...

...and a Chromebook sitting on the table at home. I always pick up the Chromebook rather than the tablet - instant on, has a keyboard and is just easier to use.

0
0

Revenge smut bullies who send 'grossly offensive' messages WILL be prosecuted

Martin

Because, at a guess, I'd say it's likely that 99% of all "revenge porn" is perpetrated by men against their female ex-partners. It is certainly true that 100% of all the instances I have ever heard of were perpetrated by men against their female ex-partners.

8
17

Chap runs Windows 95 on Android Wear

Martin
WTF?

Re: nice

Posts like this one give me a severe case of old curmudgeon.

Honestly - is it SO hard to write in standard English? Is it necessary to miss out occasional words and punctuation? Do you have to use "teh"?

Sigh.

Kids these days, I dunno, standards slipping...(wanders off disgruntled to the pub...)

4
0

DVLA website GOES TITSUP on day paper car tax discs retire

Martin
WTF?

A little common sense is called for...

So, from this month, you have to do your road tax by computer rather than join the queue at the post office.

You've been sent a reminder about two weeks ago. You can log on and do it any time between getting the reminder and the end of the month.

It's going to be a new system - there are likely to be teething problems, and there are also likely to be more people on it.

So why, for the love of Mike, would you leave it until the last possible day?

6
5

WHY did Sunday Mirror stoop to slurping selfies for smut sting?

Martin

Re: Mirror

"It wasn't HIS actions, but that of the Mirror's that caused the problems, and the only reason we are all discussing this today."

We're discussing it today because of the Mirror. But I'd give you 5/4 on that if it hadn't actually been a sting, we would be discussing it in six months time when it all went pear-shaped and the papers got hold of it.

He was incomprehensibly stupid. The Mirror has just exposed his stupidity earlier than otherwise might have happened.

Risk your marriage, your relationship with your kids, and your career for an affair - yes, it's happened over and over again. There isn't a married man (or woman) in the world who can't understand how it might happen. Risk it all because you took a photo of your wang...stupid, stupid, STUPID.

That's really my main point. I don't understand how he can be defended.

2
1
Martin

Re: Mirror

"...this peccadillo would never have happened but for the actions of the Mirror."

For the avoidance of doubt, I don't agree with what the Mirror did. And I'm very sorry indeed for his wife, and - particularly - for his kids.

But let's get one thing clear. No one made him take his tackle out of his pyjamas and wave it at a camera. He could - and should - have simply said no. Even if it hadn't been the Daily Mirror entrapping him, it's a fair bet that the photos would eventually have appeared on the internet.

He was totally and completely stupid. And it was HIS actions that have caused the grief his wife and kids are going through now.

6
9

Inateck BP2001 Bluetooth speaker: The metalhead sysadmin's choice? Not exactly

Martin
Happy

Re: Help!

"You should be playing cymbals music and then listen how it sounds..."

So, for a hi-hat solo (as I once saw performed by Max Roach), it might be a bit naff - but for most normal music it'll be pretty OK, right?

Look - ff we were talking about a box that costs over a ton, your argument might hold some weight. But this thing is fifty quid.

1
0

CURSE YOU, 'streaming' music services! I want a bloody CD

Martin
FAIL

Re: have an upvote

"...being a fan of "real" music (ie with very very few exceptions nothing after 1900 - no not a typo 1900)..."

Sibelius

Rachmaninov

Stravinsky

Shostakovich

Prokofiev

Strauss R

Neilsen

Janacek

Debussy

Mahler

Bartok

Copeland

Ravel

Holst

What a lot of wonderful music you are missing out on - and that's only a selection from the first half of the twentieth century, and completely ignores jazz, rock and pop music.

18
0

Weekend reads: Douglas Adams' bio in The Frood, The Bone Clocks and Harry Partch, Hobo Composer

Martin
Thumb Up

The Bone Clocks and David Mitchell

The Bone Clocks was long-listed for the Booker Prize - perhaps the fantasy bits were a bit too off-the-wall for the judges, as they didn't short list it, to my disappointment.

However, Cloud Atlas was short-listed, and I thoroughly recommend it. I think it's better than The Bone Clocks. What is interesting about David Mitchell is the way that hist books intertwine - not just within themselves, but with each other. Just one example - Marinus in The Bone Clocks also turns up in The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet.

Which is a complicated way of saying - yes - read the rest of his books - they are wonderful !

1
0

Apple iPhone 6: Looking good, slim. AW... your battery died

Martin

Re: Excellent Review, Despite Clickbait

having no interest in upgrading my aging Nexus 5...

If your Nexus 5 is aging, I guess that makes my Nexus 4 antiquated. But I don't need to upgrade it either. Certainly not for six hundred notes.

1
0

Apple: Beats Music is safe with us. Just like your selfies in iCloud

Martin

Re: Beats or no Beats

But you wouldn't want to listen to classical music through Beats headphones either.

2
0

Sonos burns its Bridges: Our home-grown Wi-Fi mesh will do

Martin
Headmaster

Re: Slimp3

Work's?

But I'll forgive you this time, as a fellow Squeezebox user. Just don't understand Sonos - it seems very expensive for what it is.

I wonder how many Sonos users also have iPhones?

1
1

Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD

Martin
FAIL

Re: Thought everuone new

I was pretty sure that was the hedgehog.

2
0
Martin

Why did the film-mad chicken cross the road?

To see Gregory Peck.

9
0

Chromebooks to break out of US schools: Netbook 2.0 comeback not just for children

Martin
WTF?

Re: There do seem to be a lot of Chromebook haters on here...

...the incompetent people who grace the hallowed halls of Wal-Mart and Best Buy will sell anything to the uneducated who are really looking for a laptop that can run real software, not an "app"!

If you know you want to run real software, you already know you don't want a Chromebook, and so the incompetents will not be able to sell you one.

If you're the "uneducated" mentioned above, you probably don't want to run real software - you'll be happy with an "app". You probably don't know (or care) what the difference is. And it's very likely that a Chromebook will work well.

8
0
Martin
Happy

There do seem to be a lot of Chromebook haters on here...

...and I don't really understand why.

For what 99% of users want, they are perfect. No worries about backup (it's up on the cloud, so you don't lose it), no worries about remembering to update (as it happens automatically).

The more recent ones allow you do quite a lot locally, even when you're not connected to the internet. And more and more, not being connected to the internet is becoming the exception, not the rule.

Yes, they can't run Office. But how many normal users need Office? Yes, they're not much good for gaming (though there ARE some good games) - but then, niether is a cheap Windows machine.

I use mine all the time. My daughter uses hers all the time. And if all you want to do is surf the net, look at YouTube, write a few basic documents, and dash off a few mails, I can't think why you'd need anything else.

23
0

Cor blimey: Virgin Media pipes 152Mb fibre to 100,000 East Londoners

Martin
Unhappy

152M? HA!

I'm on a 120M connection with VM. I get not far from 120M at 8:00 am on a Sunday morning, here in NW London. But at 8:00 in the evening, due to contention, I get 20M if I'm lucky - as every other house in the street also has Virgin Media.

So if I'm increased to 152M, I reckon I might sneak up to 25M...whoo-hoo!

0
0

Page:

Forums