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* Posts by yeah, right.

643 posts • joined 29 Mar 2007

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Microsoft dumps hilarious comedy duo

yeah, right.
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Really...

For a while there I actually thought the ad was deliberately bad. It got people talking about Microsoft and Vista much more than any good ad would have done. Thought it was a setup for a punchline we hadn't heard yet.

Guess you really can't teach an old Microsoft new tricks after all. They put out crap, and they stay crap.

Now, where can I find a pair of those Conquistadors? Because that was the real goal of the ad, wasn't it?

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Bill seeks guidelines for US laptop searches

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Alien

Just say no

Since they reserve the right to confiscate, without due process, ANY electronic equipment (it's not just laptops but anything that might contain electronic data, from laptops to flash drives to cameras), I suggest just saying NO.

Say NO to that next visit to the USA. Go someplace where the term "innocent until proven guilty in a court" means something. Go someplace where you don't run the risk of being "renditioned" to a 3rd party country for torture and indefinite incarceration.

There is nothing in the USA that isn't available elsewhere in either better quality or better price or just simply "better". And if it's your work paying for and demanding that you put up with the risk, get it in writing that they'll continue paying you if you get renditioned to Syria or Algeria, and that you won't be held personally responsible if and when the US border bandits take your laptop, iPod and Nikon away. Permanently.

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Fancy a shattering ORG45M for £150k?

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how.... 1940's.

So, when is the UK going to upgrade its systems and finally get rid of the whole "let's encode the year and location in the number plate" farce? Or even allow real "ego" plates rather than the joke they have now? It's just so... stupid.

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Microsoft will show world+dog how to write secure code

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Gates Horns

Rather like...

... the Jack the Ripper guide to pimping.

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Top adviser claims John McCain invented the BlackBerry

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@Grundy

Unfortunately, Grundy has it backwards. The USA was a Canadian invention, where they shipped their insane and criminal because Australia was too far away and Canadians were too cheap. Oh, and the Acadians, but they were really sorry about that one.

Since then, Canadians have invented the phone, insulin, Java, basketball, cobalt bombs, zippers, wonderbra, electron microscopes, light bulbs (yes, even that) and other world shattering advances like the Crackberry. Unfortunately, when they shipped all the criminals to the south, Canadians forgot to search them and they managed to keep the keys to the side door in addition to money they'd already stolen. Since then, the pantry has been pilfered so often there's talk of Canada joining the USA as the 52nd to 83rd state (all larger than Texas), because they've stolen everything else anyway.

So the southerners have been stealing ever since - resources, well educated people, Avro Arrows, water, and so on. The Americans even invented Prohibition and used Canada to get even richer. So now Canadian inventors and actors have had to go south to get money for production, and get fleeced by the American criminals running their system. Meanwhile, Canadians staying here working for mostly American corporations have to settle for better beer and moose burgers.

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GM shows off production electric car

yeah, right.
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Let's see

It's not a "production electric car" since they aren't making it yet. It's not "fully electric" since it requires a gas engine to get more than 40 miles (60 kilometres, or not enough to get to drive back and forth once across a typical urban sprawl). Not to mention that your cost per mile increases dramatically if you factor in the need to replace the lithium-ion battery pack on a regular basis, as opposed to using something like NiMh. In other words, it's not as good as the EV1, which GM could just start building again if they wanted to. Why don't they? We aren't told. Are we reading a press release or a piece of investigative reporting? I suspect the former.

I'm also starting to suspect that El Reg was secretly purchased by some marketing asshole with too much money and not enough ethics (a state implicit in the term "marketing"), and the regular Reg staffers are being held hostage, threatened with no more long liquid lunches and having to wear suits unless they conform to the new agenda. I understand the dilemma, because vast quantities of alcohol and really comfortable clothes are provably much more important than integrity. It's the only reason I can come up with for the sudden spate of moronic changes and un-critical automotive "press" worthy (ie: advertising masquerading as news) articles that have been spewing forth lately.

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Judge: Breath test firm must hand over source code

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wondering

If they can check that the source code they get is the source code used to generate the program running on the questionable machines? Or are they going to get a "cleaned up" version?

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Reg readers rage at comment icon outrage

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tweak?

Tweak? TWEAK? You didn't bloody TWEAK the damn things, you pureed them and converted them from meaningful expressions to marketing DRIVEL utterly devoid of anything resembling personality. What the hell have you guys been eating over there, Pokemon cookies? Have you been invaded by a couple of marketing types from somewhere and are having your minds sucked dry of all that made the Register great? Ye Ghods! The only logical next step is to allow comments to have blink tags, that's how far you've sunk.

What 1990's (or even late 1980's) clipart collection did the person responsible steal this crap from anyway? Why is the skull and crossbones icon still infected with terminal Smurfness? Why are the flame and heart icons drawn by someone in love with manga geared to 3 year olds?

Get a grip folks. That's not a "tweak", and no amount of self-delusion on your part will change the fact that something is very very wrong at el Reg. If things don't get better soon investigations may be in order. Soon as I find the pitchfork, the burning torch, and my hayseed coveralls.

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OMFG, what have you done?

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@Brangdon

They already HAVE a "post comments" at the top of the article, so you can post a comment not only without reading the article, but without actually reading any other comments instead. I just wanted a "view comments" so I could see the comments without having to post one.

And I've decided that fixed-width is utterly pants. Stupid idea.

Thanks for bringing some of the icons back. Now to get rid of that "cute" flame icon. If I want cute, I'll beat it out of a pokemon with a crowbar or something.

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yeah, right.
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ok, you win

Actually, having been browsing around for a bit, I kinda like the new look.

Except the comment icons. They suck. Really, really suck. I mean, what were you thinking? Early 1990's clipart? Ouch!!

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yeah, right.
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while you're at it

How about:

- "view comments" link from the TOP of the article.

- a "view article on single page" option so that I can just load it and read, rather than paging through each page or selecting "printer friendly" but losing the easy-to-read screen layout.

And the new icons for comments are pants. They look like 1990's free clipart that someone stole from somewhere. Bring back the old ones, damnit.

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Blame game over United Airlines stock crash rumbles on

yeah, right.
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Wrong analogy

Amazing the number of people who think a website is a private home. You're using the wrong analogy. Here is a more accurate one.

A website is a public space (like a store) into which anyone is invited. Not having a robots.txt is like not having a sign or enforcing a policy that says you can refuse service to anyone you want to. Not preventing deep links is like having one of several doors at the back of the store that the clients are welcome to go through, but one door they're not, then no putting a lock or a sign on the "employees only" door.

Getting angry when Google comes to visit is therefore the fault of the shop owner for not publishing or enforcing their policy of refusing service. You've invited the world, so it's up to the shop owner to make the exceptions, not for the world to try to read their fucking mind. Getting angry about deep links when you've done nothing to prevent them is just stupid when you've already invited people into your place of business and you WANT them there.

Comparing a public website to a private home makes no sense, given that you want people to visit the website. If not, why bother having the damn thing in the first place? A website is a place of business, like it or not, with everyone already invited. If you aren't going to make or enforce access policies, the owner of said website can certainly be blamed for people treating their public website as just that - a public website. If they don't want it public, put up a closed sign and lock the door.

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yeah, right.
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well known?

There is a well-known way to stop Google from indexing a site, called "robots.txt", an opt-out mechanism. Since newspapers are basically advertisers these days (whose lunch is being eaten by those with better business models), and advertisers are all about "opt out" rather than "opt in", I'd say this is a case of live by the sword, get cut by the sword.

The paper is at fault for not opting out in the first place. As for the deep-link argument, it's technically trivial to stop deep linking. So again, the paper's fault.

I say let them bear the brunt of the vitriol, just for being incompetent idiots.

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Royal Society: Schools should show creationism 'respect'

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by all means

By all means teach creationism (or "intelligent design") in comparative religion. Right beside Cthulu and Great Spaghetti Monster. Or philosophy. Or critical thought as a counter-example. Or even in classes on contemporary mass hallucinations.

But not science class, where it has no business being mentioned, let alone taught.

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Web designer sues Brat City for assaulting hyperlink

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idiots

Given how easy it is to stop deep linking and redirect to the main site, the whole deep linking thing is just a holdover from lawyers and judges really not understanding what they're on about. Also brings into question the technical competence of those actually running the websites that complain about such things.

As for the cease-and-desist, I hope the city gets at least a slapdown for being so stupid, in order to at least set precedent to stop others from trying the same trick.

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PA Consulting begs for mercy after data loss axing

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Scapegoat?

I'm guessing that PA Consulting doesn't have highly placed lobbyists in place to deflect blame like EDS and other contractors who screwed up have done.

Be nice if the government was as strict with its own departments as it is with sub-contractors.

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US wireless pioneer to carriers: Don't be European

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Gates Horns

He's right, but he's evil.

He's right in that carriers make more money if they own everything, and can therefore dictate terms to customers. It's called lockin, and Microsoft does that very well in the computer field.

However, from a consumer perspective, what he's proposing is downright evil. Just look at what's happened in Canada, a country with some of the highest wireless rates of any country in the world. If corporations are allowed to follow this person's model, consumers will get repeatedly raped.

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Caterpillar plans 600 tonne godzilla-lorry robots

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Bolo

Could it be we are witnessing SF becoming real? Could this be the birth of the Bolo Continental Siege Unit?

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Freelancers might be taxed as employees after High Court ruling

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Pirate

@ DaveE

Yeah, you're PAYE. And you get vacation, benefits, and all sorts of legal protection including sick time and mandatory notice periods. Meanwhile, the IT contractor gets FUCK ALL in terms of legal protection, and can be terminated with 5 minutes notice. So why the hell, since the contractor is taking ALL the risk, should they also shoulder ALL the taxes involved? I hope the erstwhile "employer" is also being hit up for back-pay, vacation time, sick time, and employer contributions? No? My, how surprising that it's the guy who can't afford the expensive lawyer that's getting shafted.

Fucking glad I left the UK at this point. Saw the writing on the wall a while back and decided that the UK just wants IT workers to be slaves. Screw that.

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Glasgow tube gets phone coverage

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wonderful

Just what we've always needed. Glaswegians yelling even louder into their mobs in order to push the sound through tunnel walls. As if we weren't already being soundly deafened by people who think that because they're having trouble hearing someone then they need to yell into their phone.

Makes you want to disarm people. Where's me claymore?

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Ballerinas and fish-gutters beat techies in UK immigration race

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Gates Horns

IT vs HR

IT people know that there's more to being good at IT than some certifications. HR people, however, have no such knowledge. They're trained to look for young people with lots of certifications, regardless of the actual knowledge they have.

HR is strangling not only the UK (and Scotland, apparently), but the world with their completely ignorant approach to screening applicants. We'd be much better of the whole lot were marched off a short pier, preferably after being fitted for cement shoes. I've yet to see a single HR group that actually adds value to any organization I've been with.

Bill, because he convinced people that an MCSE is sufficient proof of knowledge in IT.

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IBM, PGP fill Bletchley Park's rattling tin

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Good news

It's good news that the museum has finally attracted some funding. It's a shame that the Brits can't do it themselves, and must depend on handouts from their masters.

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Mens mag debuts e-ink cover

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eh?

So they have the brilliant new technology, and the best they came up with to use it in a marvellous new way was.... a fucking blink tag???

Shoot them. Shoot the bastards NOW before they breed more.

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Beware the innocent systems 'health check'

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Consultant...

Is mainly a scapegoat so that senior management doesn't have to change their dysfunctional ways. Bring in consultant, conslutant finds something wrong, fire the consultant for having created the problem (because found = created), then declare the problem solved because the messenger has been shot.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

I've done several of those, and although it pays well, by the end of it you just want to strangle the incompetent, self-serving, pointy-haired bosses who keep doing it.

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Hadron boffins: Our meddling will not destroy universe

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Overheard on the phone talking to a friend at CERN

oops

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yeah, right.
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Kinda hoping

Actually, I'm kinda hoping it does all end, and quickly. Hopefully in the next universe to come along we can do away with the dogmatic, religious hypocrites that are infesting our daily lives with asinine rules based on ideology rather than evidence.

So go go LHC, and I hope you're wrong about the effects.

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yeah, right.
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Coat

hmm

LHC boffin: "Inconceivable!"

some pirate: "I do not think that word means what you think it does."

Mine's the one with the ROUS in the pocket, yes.

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Japanese researchers check IDs with eyeball twitch

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Iris scans?

Shouldn't need surgery. If fingerprint biometric systems can be fooled with a photocopy (as demonstrated), I'm pretty sure iris scanners can be fooled with a contact lens.

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World goes mad as Bill and Jerry eat churros

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wrong store?

They seem to be advertising for either the shoe store, or the shoe. But it sure as hell doesn't say anything about Microsoft or Vista. Of course, by not mentioning it in the commercial, they've guaranteed that people DO mention it in discussions, so there may be method to their apparent madness.

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DARPA funds radical disco-copter concept

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pork. barrel.

Sounds like a typical payment in America's continuing subsidization of certain industries. Rather than look for people who are already doing the research, they pay it out to one of Lockheed, Boeing, or a small handful of others. I wonder how much Boeing is going to suck out of their government for this particular bit of "research" (read: pay 5% of money tendered for the report of the people already doing the research and pocket the other 95%).

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Boffins use heartbeat to thwart wireless implant hack

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Heart

connection?

So, let me get this straight. In order to communicate with a wireless device, they need to create a physical connection to the person carrying said device?

Wouldn't it just be easier to have some sort of "through the skin" induction-like direct connection and get rid of the wireless completely? Benefit there is increased battery life as it then doesn't have to drive that signal.

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My name really is Ivan O'Toole, admits Ivan O'Toole

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bad names

Mr and Mrs Dyck, living next door to a friend of mine, named their son Randy*. They must have really hated him.

*: Seriously. Search for "randy dyck".

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Ubuntu documentation in shreds

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Pirate

paid?

I'd argue that nobody does something for nothing. Even "volunteers" are often doing it for better contacts, a sense of well being, or all sorts of things that are valuable to them. That's the main point. Everyone wants to get something valuable for their work, but each person doing the work might have a different definition of what's valuable. Perhaps open source projects need to pay just a little more attention to what kinds of things the people they are trying to attract consider valuable. I'm guessing Ubuntu did no such thing, and documentation, although important, isn't nearly as "sexy" as coding, hence less valuable to many people.

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Microsoft slashes US Xbox 360 to sub-Wii price

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Coat

fire sale?

Does this cheaper unit use up all the power supplies that had Xbox getting a bit too literal with the term "setting the house on fire".

Mine's the one with the flame-proof underwear in the pocket.

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Judge slaps Fasthosts for rubbish kit and support

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pick two

You get cheap, you get good, you get fast. Pick two of those, (without redefining the terms. I saw one marketing guy try to claim their company had all 3, but he had to redefine "fast" and "good" to do it.)

Those wanting "cheap" hosting are bound to be disappointed with the reliability of their chosen host. Although "expensive" also doesn't mean "good", it has a better likelihood of getting it right.

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iGoogle personalises personal pages on other people's behalf

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Paris Hilton

(free) = !(free)

TANSTAAFL folks. Google are in the business of collecting data and using those who use their services as free beta testers. If you don't like it, switch to (or create) something over which YOU have control, and stop bending over and letting the evil (no we're not, yes you are) troll shaft you.

Paris, because she also knows how to get a good shafting from evil trolls.

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Anti-Kremlin website owner shot dead in police custody

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Black Helicopters

history repeats

Here we go again. Russia seems to be becoming yet another despotic state, except this time instead of "communism" it's outright plutocracy that rules the roost.

Still, maybe the next few decades will be Russia's, since the US seems to have pissed away all the good will it has ever managed to accumulate?

Should I prepare to welcome our Russian overlords yet?

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'World's largest TV' sports super HD resolution

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lying bastards

"Resolution" is usually measured in number of pixels per some FIXED unit, like the inch. So to compare total number of pixels on a large screen to total number of pixels on a smaller screen, then claim that the resolution is "better" on the large screen, is out and out misleading bullshit.

The resolution of this beast compared to other screens is actually pretty abysmal compared to other screens, not "better" as claimed by the author (whether the author is simply regurgitating press releases or not).

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Biometrics exhibit blushes over email snafu

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Paris Hilton

Please change authentication.

We're sorry. We seem to have allowed others to duplicate your retinal scan. To change your password, please contact your nearest ophthalmologist for an eye transplant.

Then people wonder why I don't think biometrics are a secure way to authenticate anyone. Once it gets beyond the reader, it's just a long password you can't fucking change if it gets compromised.

Paris, because she's a pro at getting screwed.

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Engineer accidentally deletes cloud

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Gates Horns

Clouds?

Clouds are fluffy and nice from a distance, but if you get close up you just end up all wet. Much like those who use "cloud" computing today. Frankly, it's daft to rely on a historically unstable connection to the internet to access mission critical data being managed by people who won't be held financially responsible for any errors.

Until not only the companies providing the service but also the the executives of these organizations can be held personally responsible for any and all loss of business and extra costs resulting from errors on the part of the "cloud" provider, I won't be recommending any of them to my clients. Just too damn risky.

Bill, because it's his fault that companies get away with not being responsible for shit.

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Judah 'Visual Voicemail' Klausner sues Google, Verizon, Citrix...

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Unhappy

obvious?

Seems obvious to me, even remember hacking ideas like this around back in early 1990's. And I'm not even "skilled in the field".

Seems like yet another patent troll cashing in on other peoples hard work and stifling real innovation. When is the USA going to learn that software is just another mathematical algorithm, and that allowing patents on software is not only stupid, but completely counter-productive to the claimed goal of encouraging innovation?

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Electoral officers oppose edited register

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JMHA too powerful

The Junk Mailers and Harassment Association (misnamed the DMA) has too many tentacles on too many politicians strings for any effective controls to be legislated.

Get used to having your voter information, drivers licenses, billing info, bluetooth id, wifi ssn, cell phone id, and probably even the rfid tags on your clothes tracked, catalogued, databased, mined and used in order to "target" you with advertising for stuff you don't need, want, or care about.

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Brit firm to demo serious flying robo-saucer in 2009

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stealth?

Or get the payload higher, add electric power, and switch to silent electric mode on final approach.

Patent please!

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Kindle fails to set light to unsold e-book pile

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snap one up

I'd snap an e-paper device up in a nanosecond if they provided one that could do what I wanted it to do.

Namely: allow me to write and organize notes (see Newton writing recognition - surely the tech has improved since?), allow me to get electronic copies of books that I OWN (not with DRM that is dependent on servers that may or may not shut down at any time), allow me to exchange publications in formats of my choosing, not charge me to convert documents, and generally not try to treat me as a walking wallet that I'm supposed to allow them to syphon whenever they want.

So far the iRex illiad is leading the pack for me, but it still has certain limitations that I find troublesome. Still, it seems to be the best of the bunch.

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Amazon sending Kindle to college

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I'd buy one...

... but only IF they didn't require me to pay more for an electronic copy of a book than for a paper copy, if they allow me to share my copy with others, if they allow me to sell my copy to others, and if they allow me to annotate my copy of whatever books and texts I have on the system.

Since that's unlikely to happen, I'll pass on the Kindle thanks. As it stands, as far as I can tell, it's just a damn DRM infested ripoff.

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US, EU tech trade row gets serious

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Rock & Hard Place

Well, given the American predilection for demanding that other countries stop subsidising industries, then turning around and doing it ten times more at home, I can only hope that the Americans lose this particular pissing contest. Of course, with the WTO firmly under the thumb of American policy, it's going to get interesting to see what happens. Sort of. If you're really bored. And can't sleep.

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Facebook summarily denies undeniable user-menacing security hole

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heh

"Security by obscurity" has now become "security by assertion". Facebook has asserted that the hole doesn't exist, therefore, it doesn't.

One wonders if they're even working on a fix, or if they're still so far up their own arse that they think Facebook is relevant.

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Aussie school trials use of gadgets in exams

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learning vs memorizing

There is a marked difference between "learning", and thus understanding something, and simply memorizing facts and figures. Assuming the exams are structured in such a way as to allow students to show what they have learned, it will go a long way towards reversing the trend in many places to have exams that simply show what you have memorized. Facts can be looked up. It's a damn sight harder to fake understanding of the materials. The hardest exams I've had have all been "open book" exams, and the profs giving these exams were very good at making sure people were tested on what they had learned, not what they had memorized.

Looks like those people who don't like this method have confused "learning" with "rote memorization". I'm glad that at least one school has finally learned the difference.

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Winehouse jibe wins Fringe's funniest gag

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Coat

plurals

Personally, I've sort of considered the plural of "hippopotamus" to be "oh shit, get the hell away from that water".

Yes, the green one. With "failed a comedy class" written on the sleeve.

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Apple faithful snared in phishing scam targeting Mac.com users

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reliability

Who taught the world that lack of reliability was "ok"? Microsoft.

Who taught the world that lack of security was "ok"? Microsoft.

Who has continued make users accept crashes as being "ok"? Microsoft.

Who has turned computer science and IT into a fucking joke? Microsoft, mainly.

For 30 fucking years this company has made "mediocre" and "unreliable" bywords for the IT industry. More than anything else, I hate Microsoft for that.

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