* Posts by Mark Jan

147 posts • joined 10 Jan 2008

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Mark Jan
Thumb Down

If it Ain't Broke...!

You did something similar a few years ago and the reaction was similar - a huge outcry and you had to largely backtrack. The Reg v1 was the original and still the best.

You've now gone even worse than the changes you made then!

Please, please don't listen to the agency guys or go all web3. Just stick to what's made you successful in the first place - good info written up in a fun way in an easily readable format.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

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Yorkshire man NICKS 1,000 Orange customer records. Court issues TINY FINE

Mark Jan

What's with the Yorkshire thing?

Is it of relevance the crim was from Yorkshire, God's own country no less?

Had he been from Berkshire or from such other more affluent county would that have been highlighted in the title?

Data pinching scum is scum is scum, regardless of their geography.

"Ee bah gum" or should that be "EE done bah scum"?

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Met Office: 2014 was FIFTEENTH WARMEST UK SUMMER on record

Mark Jan
Flame

Raw Data Anyone?

All the way back historical temperatures are just bollocks anyway. They can be made to be whatever the University of East Anglia (or any other organisation with a vested interest in keeping "climate change" alive and well) want them to be which is why the released temps are "adjusted" to allow for any bollocks the boffins decide. After all, releasing the raw data would reveal the true temps, but maybe that would be a bit inconvenient.

Keep up the good work Lewis!

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Mark Jan
Flame

Re: daft regulations

You just need to go along with the idiots in the council - they're all the same, wherever you are in the country.

Once you have the certificate, change the fans back and flog the others on eBay.

Council idiots.

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Planning to fly? Pour out your shampoo, toss your scissors, RENAME TERRORIST WI-FI!

Mark Jan
Flame

Security Theatre

It's all just security theatre, but it makes most people feel safe. At a recent "security check" at the airport I was told that the freezer bag I had my toothpaste, gel etc in was too large and I would have to put said items into one of theirs. As I began to take out the items from my plastic freezer bag to put into their airport security approved one, the security man said that wouldn’t be necessary and simply folded my bag and then put both the folded bag and its contents into the airport security approved plastic freezer bag. Suddenly everything was alright again and the security threat had been nullified. I looked at him and without wanting to say how crazy it all was for fear of being arrested as a national security threat, I simply said that he had a job to do. He embarrassingly replied that he agreed it was all nonsense!

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We're not Mr Brightside: Asda Car Insurance broker hacked

Mark Jan

...which you are or have been a valued customer of.

I've never been a customer but did request a quote once upon a time. If they don't know their customers from their never been customers, how can we be sure they know anything really?

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Hollywood's made an INTELLIGENT science vs religion film?!

Mark Jan
Happy

Saw the Film

I went to see the film based on the review I read here and I actually quite liked it. Thank you Brid-Aine Parnell - I doubt I would have even heard of it if it wasn't for you reviewing it here.

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Stephen Hawking biopic: Big on romance, not so much with the science?

Mark Jan
Go

Big Bang

They should have used the same guy that the Big Bang Theory used.

He was excellent: looked just like the man himself.

I know they don't need the robot voice, but he had that nailed as well.

5
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We sent a probe SIX BILLION km to measure temperature of a COMET doing 135,000 km/h

Mark Jan

Re: Celsius?

Celsius and Centigrade agree to within 0.1 degree. So if you know one, you know the other to within 0.1 degree.

I thought it was 0.01 degree.

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PEAK LANDFILL: Why tablet gloom is good news for Windows users

Mark Jan

The Reviewer is Great

I really like the reviewer Linus, and have watched a number of his vids.

He knows his stuff, talks sense and appears to be completely unbiased with regards to product recommendation. Only this week I bought the new LG 34UM95 34" IPS UltraWide QHD Monitor - his review swung it for me.

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The Sun took a day off last week and made NO sunspots

Mark Jan

Head I Win, Tails You Lose

"Global warming" has been changed to "climate change" for a reason. Regardless of whether it gets warmer or colder, it's caused by humans. If everything stays the same, well it's only until it gets warmer or colder, then the change is caused by humans. Get the picture?

Science is not driven by consensus.

"Science isn't about authority or white coats; it's about following a method. That method is built on core principles: precision and transparency; being clear about your methods; being honest about your results; and drawing a clear line between the results, on the one hand, and your judgment calls about how those results support a hypothesis." Ben Goldacre

How exactly do "climate scientists" fulfill those above criteria?

"Precision, transparency, honesty" - anyone told The University of East Anglia that's how it should be done...?

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Cheer up, Nokia fans. It can start making mobes again in 18 months

Mark Jan

And how long before they cock it up again...?

Nokia have the know how, they have the design skills, they don't need the multi layers of management and empire builders. IF Nokia decide to make such devices again, don't cock it up, please!

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MH370 'pings' dismissed as false positives

Mark Jan
Facepalm

Re: It Landed

Terra firma is a Latin phrase meaning "solid earth" (from terra, meaning "earth", and firma, meaning "solid"). The phrase refers to the dry land mass on the earth's surface and is used to differentiate from the sea or air.

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Mark Jan
Black Helicopters

It Landed

This plane will never be found but not because it's lying on the seabed.

The plane landed on terra firma. Neither the plane, crew or passengers will ever be seen again.

All that is happening here is theatre.

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Satisfy my scroll: El Reg gets claws on Windows 8.1 spring update

Mark Jan

Re: Windows 9?

I guess the new paradigm that MS haven't really understood is that the market they control is ever diminishing and the market they would like to control has alternatives, and very good ones. It ain't the 1980s, or 90s or even noughties...

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Mark Jan

Windows 9?

Just wait for Windows 9 since 8 is clearly today's Vista.

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PM Cameron leaps aboard Internet of Thingies

Mark Jan
Thumb Up

Re: Roll those eyes

the "fridge that can order you milk when it notices you are getting low".

Yup that'll be £6 each time please. £1 for the milk and £5 delivery charge. And after 2 weeks of you being on holiday, you'll be faced with 14 pints milk in various states of cheesyness and one huge shopping bill.

If the fridge is ordering milk whilst you're on holiday because you're getting low, shouldn't it be calling the police rather than the supermarket? Now that'd be an intelligent home!

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Global Warming IS REAL, argues sceptic mathematician - it just isn't THERMAGEDDON

Mark Jan

The Bollocks that is "Global Warming" is Slowly Beginning to Unravel

Climate change (aka global warming until observations made a nonsense of the models), saturated animal fats causing heart disease (they don't), grains being good for you (they're not) etc etc etc - the truth eventually pops its head out from amongst the throngs of vested interests keeping the myths going.

This generation of scientists and spineless politicians will eventually go and the truth will slowly come out. In the meantime, we'll have paid billions in "green" taxes at the climate change altar.

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Climate change will 'CAUSE huge increase in MURDER, ROBBERY and RAPE'

Mark Jan

Re: I know this one.

Not wishing to state the sort of obvious, but if it's warmer, won't more people just leave their windows open and then forget they've done so...?

BTW I think the whole global warming thing is bollocks but it tends to get warmer in the summer which is when windows tend to be opened and thieves take advantage.

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Former Nokia boss Ollila: Stephen Elop was second-choice CEO

Mark Jan
Flame

Elop was Second Choice?

What staggered me the most was Ollila's admission that Elop was that high on the list!

Second? It surely must have been a short list of two!

And as for the rest, it's such a tragic shame that despite foreseeing the market and preparing for it, Nokia completely f***ed it up.

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Scientists to IPCC: YES, solar quiet spells like the one now looming CAN mean ICE AGES

Mark Jan

So, what one of the world's leading experts on the subject was saying was that the sun has some effect, but not as much as CO2.

It's just a shame that the models and reality don't agree and have never agreed!

Apart from that inconvenient truth, "one of the world's leading expert's" argument is sound!

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Mark Jan

I was listening to Radio 4's "Tle Life Scientific" recently Professor Joanna Haigh (27/Aug) who specialises in this area was very clear - The sun's output does affect the Earth's temperature, but she would never suggest that the sun's output was anything like as important to global warming as CO2.

In that case just do a thought experiment (no computers / simulations required). Imagine the sun turned itself off for a week or two. Would the CO2 (or anything else in our atmosphere for that matter) keep us warm for any length of time?

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Nokia tears wrapper off Lumia 1020 monster imaging mobe

Mark Jan

Re: Replace N808

My mistake - just checked the specs again and the 1020 does have USB on the go.

I'm sure it wasn't on the spec sheet yesterday!

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Mark Jan

Replace N808

I have the N808 and was half considering replacing it with the new EOS or 1020 as we now know it's called.

BUT, my N808 takes a micro SD card, has USB on the go / out, HDMI out, FM transmitter etc.

And it uses an OS I actually like with a decent battery life.

I don't think I'll be changing - sorry Nokia, you should have stayed with being masters of your own destiny.

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Mark Jan

Re: Fantastic work on slimming it down

I've had the N808 for about a year and I disagree, it's not unwieldy at all. It's actually positively svelte compared to, for example the iphone wrapped in the "protective" case most people wrap around theirs.

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Ex-HTC execs launch UK-based smartphone maker Kazam

Mark Jan

Re: Phone for grown ups

Just about any Nokia over the past 5-10 years running Symbian would fit the bill then.

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Scientists investigate 'dark lightning' threat to aircraft passengers

Mark Jan

Shame Kodak Went Bust

Shame Kodak went bust, just when they could start selling their photographic film again!

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Living with a 41-megapixel 808 PureView: Symbian's heroic last stand

Mark Jan
Thumb Up

Re: Love the thing

I've had my 808 for about a year - from when it was first released and I've also been amazed at the frequent updates it has received, better than lot of "modern" OS equipped phones.

I want an excellent camera on my phone. I find that I can do without most of the apps that other people can't seem to live without. I just need a robust phone and a camera which is available to me all the time. Just this past week I video'd a birthday party with the 808. Despite recording in challenging lighting and next to 1000W speakers, the results were excellent. I know that any other smartphone would have had massive audio distortion and dark images, but the 808s results were fantastic.

Coupled with the best sat nav on a phone on the market, the two main criteria I seek (excellent camera and sat nav) are on one device. I wouldn't swap it for anything else at the moment.

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MYSTERY Nokia Lumia with gazillion-pixel camera 'spotted'

Mark Jan
Thumb Up

Re: The best camera

I have the 808 Pureview and it's a great phone and camera.

As the article said, I'm amazed at the regular software updates the phone gets.

For example only yesterday it received 6 such updates.

There have been some issues on it appears certain networks / 3G at certain times. I've experienced such issues but only on Vodafone, not for example T-Mobile. Could be that the frequency of the networks are an issue. However, yesterday's updates (one of which was for 3G) have apparently sorted it. In those areas where I previously had a non-existent signal strength, today I have 4 bars!

Considering Symbian is supposed to be defunct I'm amazed that so much time and energy is being devoted to it. Well done Nokia or should I say Accenture!

It's a shame that the world leading tech that Nokia had / has in imaging is still showcased in a phone that's a year old and in an OS that is supposed to be inferior to what they have now!

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New Lumia 925: This, loyalists, is the BIG ONE you've waited for

Mark Jan

Re: Not what I was waiting for

Me too - I was expecting a true Windows Pureview phone and naturally expected it to be superior to my current 808 Pureview. Prior to the 808 I had the N8.

Nokia pushed Symbian to be extremely usable (and I'd say - still - superior in many ways to Android and iOS) in its latter phones such as the N8 and 808.

I don't have an irrational "hatred" of MS, but based on the recent hype expected a true successor to the 808 from an OS that is still I think, a beta or incomplete (for a 2013 mobile OS) product.

I was extremely disappointed that I was unable to buy the Meego powered N9 in the UK (or anywhere other than Timbuktu or the dark side of the moon) and that Nokia abandoned what was a very promising platform.

I wonder where Nokia and its ecosystem would now be had Meego not been abandoned.

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Master Beats: Why doesn't audio quality matter these days?

Mark Jan

The Output Can Only Be as Good as the Source

When (young) people these days consider mp3 to be "music" then that's where the problems (through ignorance) begin. When the output audio generated by a typical mp3 encoded track (constrained by sample frequencies, discarding of "unheard" frequencies, error correction etc inherent in any digital recording) is listened to, no headphones can ultimately correct the sound.

I feel sorry for an entire generation who have been led down a "pure digital perfect sound forever" path., particularly mp3.

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EE: Of course we're going to get 1m 4G users by the end of the year!

Mark Jan
FAIL

I Left T-Mobile last month

I left T-Mobile last month after many years of lethargy and stopping on the same (now legacy) SIM only rolling monthly tariff.

My request? I asked to be put on the same deal as a NEW CUSTOMER. They refused, I left.

It seems that they don't understand how much more it costs to acquire a new customer than to retain an existing one.

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Opera joins Google/Apple in-crowd with shift to WebKit and Chromium

Mark Jan
Unhappy

Re: It's a Sad Day

I sort of do care what's under the hood and one of the main reasons is security.

I have trusted Opera in this regard for many, many years.

And one less browser developer on its own, makes it a sad day.

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Mark Jan
Unhappy

It's a Sad Day

For all the reasons mentioned before, it's a sad day.

It was always on the cards but I thought that with Opera's superb mobile browsers and success in the embedded market, cached servers etc, they'd survive as a standalone, independent and innovative company.

An (99.999%) exclusive Opera user (and fan) for over a dozen years.

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Nokia: Ship's now stable, all we need is passengers

Mark Jan

Re: Nokia sell in a quarter now what they used to sell in 2 weeks

I have the Pureview 808 and yes, the camera is amazing. Some recent shots I took astounded the printing lab and had them asking me if I was a pro. I'm not!

And the phone part doesn't suck.

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'Boson' Higgs: Yes, CERN has seen the coming of the God particle

Mark Jan

Lee Dowling

There aren't many people who can say "I was right all along", referring to 40+ years ago, and sound both despondent and humble about it.

What about just about everyone's parents?

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SECRET 28 'scientific experts' who Greened the BBC - Revealed!

Mark Jan
Flame

How Can The BBC's Actions Be Justified?

It's unbelievable that the BBC could change their "impartiality" stance on "Global Warming" (because that's what it was called in those days until actual measurements and observations began to not correlate with the models) based on this meeting and the "experts" in attendance.

The infiltration of the BBC by those with a left wing, green agenda is slowly becoming exposed not just in this, but other stories currently affecting the Corporation and the chickens are resolutely coming home to roost - and it's about time.

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New science: SEAS WILL RISE due to CO2 ... but not for centuries

Mark Jan
Thumb Up

Lewis Page for President!

Lewis Page for President / Prime Minister or just in charge of IPCC!

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Scientists: 'Castration is the key to a longer life'

Mark Jan

Politicians Should Live Forever

Based on this, UK politicians should live forever as none of them have any balls, Margaret Thatcher excepted.

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Has Nokia bottomed out? El Reg drills into the detail

Mark Jan
Holmes

Meego Write Down - Hardly a Surprise!

"It will write down €220m worth of components which can’t now be sold in phones. Since this includes Lumia, Symbian and Meego handsets, we can’t infer that Nokia had overestimated the appeal of Windows. Not without more information."

Now there's a surprise (having to write down components due to go into Meego phones)!

Since it only marketed the devices in Timbuktu and the dark side of the moon, it's hardly surprising Nokia has components left over. After all, Meego outselling Win7 would have been pretty embarrassing for Elop. Far better to effectively strangle it at birth, regardless of how good it was.

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Nokia flogged 4m Lumias, still bled €826m this quarter

Mark Jan

"... as Nokia tries to weather the storm and emerge within a few years as a very different company."

Yeah, subsidiary of Microsoft!

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Nokia: 'hybrid' mobiles will save us

Mark Jan
Facepalm

Re: @ Mark Jan

What are you talking about?

Nokia have everything to gain, by selling lots of phones, and not going bust.

Of course they do - that's the business they're currently in (as well as pursuing IP claims).

BUT, my position is that this MS strategy will ultimately lead Nokia to failure.

It isn't MS hatred, just logical, straight talking common sense based on years of seeing what MS does to companies with which it enters into such "partnerships", as well as the most important verdict of all from the phone buying public. That verdict has fail written all over it.

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Mark Jan
Flame

Re: Dear Jorma :- I am curious.

It's what will happen purely based on Microsoft's past form and events as they are unfolding.

Nokia has everything to lose and Microsoft everything to gain.

Plus, Nokia did see the smartphone revolution coming!

They just pissed about going from pillar to post whilst everyone else executed well thought out management plans.

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Vodafone agrees to Cable and Wireless buy

Mark Jan
Flame

C&W Should Have Done Better

C&W have for years been run by piss poor management in a sector generally run by piss poor management. I can't help but feel that for want of better direction, they wouldn't now be selling themselves off to the highest bidder who will ultimately (as we already know) sell off the unwanted bits to the already circling vultures.

Nokia, you're next.

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New fake anti-virus shakes down frightened file-sharers

Mark Jan
Happy

Malwarebytes

Maybe Malwarebytes is just very good at what it does (it is!) and the people behind it are very good at what they do (they are!)

And it's free!

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Symbian smacked by Windows Phone

Mark Jan
Pint

Re: Time for a Change of Plan, Nokia ..?

I agree with you. Symbian was (and still is) the most optimised mobile OS. People confuse the underlying OS and the GUI. Overlay a decent GUI and a "dreadful" experience becomes great, eg any of SPBs offerings.

I've never really understood how a third party company without Nokia's resources can take a Nokia phone and create a far better user experience...

Nokia's browsers do indeed suck, but just download Opera.

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Mark Jan
FAIL

Elop must be proud...

So, Elop jumped off the burning platform into the inflatable WinPho lifeboat after having tried to extinguish the flames with a few hundred gallons of petrol. Trouble is, the poorly designed lifeboat leaked air from the start and Elop is now having to tread water. I wonder how long it'll be before MS throw him a lifebuoy and pull him back to shore...?

What's left of the smouldering Nokia platform will be easy to dismantle...

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Lumia sales fail to set world alight

Mark Jan

N9

Why not sell the N9 in markets other than Timbuktu and the far side of the moon and let's see how a "proper" Nokia smartphone sells!

(I have the white N9 on order)

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Nokia lightens Dark Knight with Batman blower

Mark Jan
Holmes

Robin?

Robin wouldn't be seen dead with one!

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Nokia exec: Young fashonistas 'fed up' with iPhone

Mark Jan

Different?

So, according to Nokia, people are fed up with the "sameness" of Apple and Android.

How in that case is Nokia going to differentiate themselves from the "sameness" of Windows Phone across different manufacturers' devices?

Now, had Nokia kept Maemo/Meego (especially looking at the superb N9) then they could genuinely claim that theirs was a truly unique offering.

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