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* Posts by Joe Blogs

115 posts • joined 28 Mar 2007

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'Google's crap for business' - CIOs give ad giant dose of reality

Joe Blogs
FAIL

Re: "Near identical"?

Why don't you help him roll up his astroturf while trying to use all the features of Gmail on a non-Chrome browser...what's that? you can't? You mean that Chrome (Written by Google) is the best browser for accessing Gmail (written by Google)? Wow - whooda thunk? Imaging that - people who write browsers and then email system write those email systems to work best in the browsers they write... whats' the world coming to?

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Everything Everywhere to be Nothing Nowhere in rebrand

Joe Blogs
Pint

It's in the Artilce...

Creative Concepts in Communications Retailing And Phones

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US shuts down Canadian gambling site with Verisign's help

Joe Blogs

Re: Re: global law

However, to use your analogy, if your Dutch website was selling something illegal in the UK but not in Holland, and people from the UK went to holand to use this product then they would not be doing anything illegal.

So the question is - if I am gambling from the US but on a Canadian server, where is the "gaming" happening? in the browser of the user or the server of the Gaming Company?

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Naked cyclist streaks through Suffolk village

Joe Blogs

FFS

It's a limp penis, WTF is wrong with the world that seeing a limp penis go past can cause distress? It's just another part of the human body!!!

Seeing Community Speed watch groups would give most people more "distress" than a penis!!

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Slack bank practice creates opportunity for phone phishing scams

Joe Blogs

Get it wrong

Quite simply - when asked for security verification, get something wrong. If it's your bank they will tell you you have got something wrong, if it's a scammer they wont, but you will also have given them wrong information - a win-win situation.

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Need for Speed: Shift 2 Unleashed

Joe Blogs

NFS 3D

Have they sorted out the 3D that was very bad in the other NFS games?

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Angry Birds tweet fury at Redmond

Joe Blogs

Nobody?

"It doesn't matter how much money pour into it, nobody wants it."

And you know this because you've spoken to eveybody? Almost everybody? Most people?

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Animated CAPTCHA tech aims to fox spambots

Joe Blogs
FAIL

Well, I think it's very secure.

When I go to the website and try it, I get the dotted circle for about 2 minutes and then I get the text: "There was a connection error. Please try again later.", which contains zero Red Letters, so I can't get any further. Very secure!!

And I have tried it a few times....

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The 3G coverage picture that can't be published

Joe Blogs

@uhuznaa

Well, that would work, unless the data cam from iPhone4 users who haven't had the operation to remove the offending part of their hand that touches The antenna.

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Primark pulls 'disgraceful' padded bikini for kiddies

Joe Blogs

or...

woman... no need to be sexist here.

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Milkman skewers Google Street View over garage break-in

Joe Blogs
Unhappy

Oi!!

Leave me out of it!!!

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UK competition authority probes Amazon

Joe Blogs
Stop

Hey...

Leave me out of this, I don't sell on amazon anyway!!!

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ASA bites PETA over Baby P billboard

Joe Blogs
Alert

The real point

No one is really saying that PETA is wrong. The message they are saying is that violent people are... well... violent, and that they don't limit their vilonce to a single species, be it animal or human. What is being said here is that there are other ways to get the message across and that putting up shocking posters is not always a good idea, even if they are factual. I'm sure lots of people would object to a big poster of an erect Penis with the words "THIS IS A PENIS" or "GARY GLITTER HAS ONE OF THESE" on it, however, you can't then justify this poster by saying well, it's factually correct so it should stay!

Thanks for listening.

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Research suggests Wii Fit is no flab fighter

Joe Blogs

Shock Research Revealed

Today, researchers at the unvirsity of the "bloodly obvious to anyone but us" (aresole department) revealed the shocking news that people who eat well and use the treadmill they bought last year are somehow (we haven't worked this bit out yet) losing weight compared to the fat lards who sit on thier butts eating crap and use their folded up treadmill as a clothes horse for their oversized oshkosh clothes do. The university has asked the government for 30 million (insert currency here) to help fund this research to find out why this might be!!

Tomorrow we will bring news of the research into the driving on the "wrong side of the road may or may not help ease congestion" study.

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UK judges reject Lucas' appeal in Star Wars helmet case

Joe Blogs
Joke

Interweb

<quote>

The Yanks think their law is world law.

" Lucasfilm's claim that the English courts should allow the US courts jurisdiction in cases involving internet trading,"

</quote>

But don't forget, the yanks do own the interweb...

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Google weighs in to Aussie firewall row

Joe Blogs

What?

Australian Sex Party??

Where's my invite to this???

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Googlephone videos uncovered

Joe Blogs

Hmmm...

Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

is it purely coincidence that the youtube video for the has HTC in the name? "wEbW-fxzHtc"??

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Cyborg MIT prof touts iPhone-controlled power-jumping legs

Joe Blogs
FAIL

Emmm... background?

Apart from the Bluetooth issue of not being able to pair up a JesusPhone with the legs anyway, surely the other problem would be that the jPhone doesn't allow background tasks. Every time you wanted to connect and get the legs to do something would involve having to find the "Walk/Run" app from all the icons you have, run it, and then tell it what you want to do, and all the while hoping that no-one calls you when you are using the jPhone to control your legs while running after the bus.

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Freesat to get BBC iPlayer on 7 December

Joe Blogs

" IDTV with a built-in active Ethernet port"

Is that a DLNA TV like the Samsung LExxB650 Range? Please say yes (but don't say yes if the answer is actually no as that would p*ss me off even more).

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Hitachi Ultrastar A7K2000 2TB HDD

Joe Blogs

Hmmm

@AC 13:34

"So how much actual disk space do you get from it ? 1 TB ?"

Well, somewhere close to the 1863GB it actually says in the article.

Also..

"This Ultrastar drive is horribly expensive and delivers little in return. However, its low-cost Deskstar sibling looks incredibly tempting."

And yet it gets a 60% rating? Does it need to create a black hole, abduct children and be a terrorist in order to get <50% rating?

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The biggest flash drive in the world

Joe Blogs
Badgers

Can I...

order one of these, and one of the Jaguars made by Cray from the Top500 article please... you do take American Express don't you?

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US boffins build, test working 2-qubit quantum processor

Joe Blogs

Encryption

"If many such devices could be successfully hooked together to create a quantum computer, various major consequences could be expected - not least the breaking of encryption regarded today as completely uncrackable"

and creating new encryption that will be uncrackable by even quantum computers....?

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'L33T' web defacer blames Durham police for Pakistani conflict

Joe Blogs
Stop

Sheeesh!

Are you lot stupid or what!

The number for the police is no longer 999, it's been changed to

0118999 88199 9119725...3

!!!!!

UR SECURITY IS ZERO% !!!

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BBC iPlayer to hit Freesat boxes by month's end

Joe Blogs

DLNA

So when are they going to get iPlayer working over DLNA?

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Trojan plunders $480k from online bank account

Joe Blogs

LOL

It's funny reading all these comments where people are blaming, the OS writers, the users or the banks. Maybe we should blame the people who write the malware?

Just a thought...

Have a nice day.

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Palm Pre re-re-introduces iTunes synchronization

Joe Blogs

Short sighted

I'm not a fanboi or a palmist...

However, seems to me that Apple is sort of shooting itself a bit in the foot here. Why not let the Pre use iTunes, and this could result in Pre users using the iTunes store and making more money for Apple. Also, to those who say Palm should write their own, what about the people who have iTunes installed on their PC and don't want to have to install another MP3 library package on their PC?

Maybe Apple and Palm should talk to each other and just come to some sort of agreement here...

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Ads watchdog underclocks reseller's 9.2GHz AMD CPU claim

Joe Blogs

@ Doug Glass

<quote> If one ship can cross the ocean in nine days, how many days does it take three ships to cross the ocean? Three days? Not hardly, but you'd be surprised how many "students" checked three days as the correct answer. </quote>

Actually, 3 days *could* be the correct answer. If ship A starts at the start point, ship B starts 1/3 of the way there, ship C then 2/3rds. When you then start, 3 days later a ship will have crossed every point on the journey within 3 days.

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Microsoft Security Essentials shakes up consumer antivirus

Joe Blogs
FAIL

Small problem

Doesn't seem to be Proxy aware, so not able to get updates which means it won't even run. Poor show.

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Women spending more time at work - but less time working

Joe Blogs
FAIL

WTF?

Have you look at what/how this software works?

<quote>

Internet:

The title, address, classification and time spent at every web page a user visits.

The sender of each email a user receives and how long they spent reading the mail plus the recipient of every email a user sends and how long they spent writing the mail.

Instant Messaging buddy's names for each IM conversation and how long each conversation lasted.

This information tells employees how much time they are engaged in non work related web activity.

</quote>

How doe it know what you are looking at? I have 3 screens, If I open a browser on one, and then open excel on another, I can click on the Excel.exe window, but keep reading theregister on the first one...this is bollock, like wise, how does it know how long it took me to read an email? I may have moved on to something else? Another screen (without clicking anything), maybe some paper work?

<quote>

Idle

After a period of inactivity, OfficeMetrics records a user's computer as being idle.

This information tells employees how much time they are spending on short breaks possibly conducting personal business or socializing with co-workers

</quote>

How long? Long enough to be doing some paper work? talking to someone (work related), in a meeting? maybe reading a document on your screen?

This software can't tell you when a person is idle, only when a PC is idle. It can't tell what you are doing, it can only tell what you last clicked on and how long ago that was...

Utter FAIL

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World's first motion-controlled headphones outed

Joe Blogs

Proofread

Always remember to proofread carefully in case you any words out.

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Ten sizzling gizmos survive economic nightmare

Joe Blogs
Thumb Up

Twonky beam

Actually installed this at the weekend and it works brilliantly with my Samsung DLNA TV and with my non DLNA Kiss DP601 player. Can send anything to them, much to my others halfs annoyance as she tried to watch something on TV and YouTube crap kept appearing at the click of a button from my PC :-)

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How to set up your HDTV like a pro

Joe Blogs
WTF?

Whats the point?

"An ISF technician will access the hidden service menus on a TV and use a colorimeter to make sure everything is set up more accurately than you’ll be able to do it with the naked eye."

What's the point in cailbrating something more accurately than the eye can see if you are only every going to watch it with one (or 2) of those same eyes?

Surely the best way to calibrate your own TV is with your own eyes. Just because a machine can determine more colours, doesn't mean it's going to be the best for your eyes/brain. If you have an eye defect then the best picture for you will be different than the best picture for someone else?

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Two convicted for refusal to decrypt data

Joe Blogs

Simple really.

Put all your world domination plans on a wireless NAS device and put it in your neighbours loft (yeah, this is the hard bit, but do it while you are cat minding when they are on holiday).

When plod come and search your house, they won't get your NAS, becuase it's not located at the propery they have a warrant for, and they won't know anything about any external data until you have had time to change the names on any documents to your neighbours names, and you can them pass the blame to them.

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GM Volt to deliver three-figure fuel economy

Joe Blogs
WTF?

Hmmm....

I had a car like that. I could get 300 MPG from it. It did require me to find a 270mile long hill to go down first, and then the last 30 miles I would turn on the engine.

The first 40 miles you get with this are obviously "free", because it's only then that the petrol engine cuts in and starts burnig fuel, so even if the 230 MPG figure was true, it's really only 190, becuase you would need to then leave the engine running when you get to your destination for long enough to charge the batteries to give you that first 40 miles again.

Sheesh!!

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Cocaine-smuggling golfer fails 'what's your handicap' test

Joe Blogs
FAIL

Handicap

When asked about her handicap, the answer should have been "Stupidity".

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French workers threaten to blow up factory

Joe Blogs
Flame

Yup

I did the calculation as well....BOOM!!!

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Comet opens e-car power car park

Joe Blogs

The Problem is...

that you just know that the Chavs & Scallys with their non electric cars will park in here once the diabled and Parent & Child places are full.

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Water utility auditor resigns, transfers $9m offshore

Joe Blogs

Water shame

that is all

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Google splits with Mozilla on 3D interwebs

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Laptop facial recognition defeated by Photoshop

Joe Blogs

Change password

With facial recognition, changing "password" is easy (for blokes anyway), just grow a beard!!!

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Nokia N79 smartphone

Joe Blogs

Nice review....but...

Page 1 talks about the Back Cover and contains a picture of the front (with keypad), Page 2 then goes on to talk about the keypad etc... but has a picture of the back cover. Come on Reggie, just a little bit of thought required here. If you are going to talk about the keypad, put in a picture so we can see what your talking about without having to navigate pages....

Thanks

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Forget Google rationing: Only lighting farts can save the planet

Joe Blogs
Flame

Actually, it's not that simple is it?

Yeah, lighting your farts may reduce the methane and therefore reduce a greehouse gas, but lighting your farts produces heat, which, well, heats up the environment... and if you do this outside, surely you becoming just as environmentally unfriendly as a patio heater then!!

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ArseASA rules 'Feck' non-offensive

Joe Blogs

feck

Having lived in Ireland I would also second the view that Feck was used in Ireland in place of Fuck, as in... Won't someone thing of the fecking children!

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Reg readers in the dark over extreme porn

Joe Blogs
Stop

IWF?

Emmm... what's extreme porn got to do with the IWF? IWF watches for things on the interweb, porn doesn't become porn when it's on the net. It is possible for people to have porn (extreme or not) on things that are nothing to do with the web, like books, film based pictures, hell, even digital camera pictures that have not been on the web. That's like asking the DOT to investigate a murder becuase it happened within a few miles of a road. Should I ask the IWF if the porn I have in books in my closet is extreme? and if they want to see them they will have to come round my house to check them out as they are not on the web!!

Also, keeping with the road analogy, the picture in the story is as close to extreme porn as taking a picture of someone naked and near a road - this is extreme because a car could come along and hit the person being photographed - about as much danger as in this picture!!!

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Aircraft boneyard gets tagged

Joe Blogs
Stop

to AC @ 11:45

Yes, I was also confused by that, especially the bit in the artice that states:

"RFID is normally used for ranges around 10cm, which would make the technology impractical on a site of this size."

Doh!!!!

Next time RTFA?

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Pioneer DVR-116D multi-format DVD rewriter

Joe Blogs
Stop

OMG!!!

Sorry, I can't believe a Tech hardware reporter doesn't understand CAV on DVD writing and really believed that a 20x DVD writter would be 25% faster than a 16X speed writer!!!

FAIL!

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Bombproof TV rolling-news eco bins target the City

Joe Blogs

It's my rock that stops the terrorists

@Thomas Baker: "To be honest the very fact that no-one has been blown up for quite some time is proof positive that the terrorist threat in this country has been massively exaggerated, if not completely fabricated, "

No, it's this rock I have on my desk. Ever since I put it on my desk there hasn't been a terrorist explosion in London, so it must be my rock. Would you like to buy it?

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Man cops to $1m phony bar code shoplifting scheme

Joe Blogs

Feedback

Good story, however, what's the feedback got to do with it?

@Ashley Pomeroy - Maggies gets scanned, not Lisa

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Police collar kid for Wi-Fi pinching

Joe Blogs

Not sure now..

I was reading this thinking, if something like that happened I would just go round to the neighbours and say stop it please. However, thinking about it, getting the cops involved isn't such a bad idea. What if the neighbour had been surfing kiddie porn, you go round and say stop it, They stop it. Next week plod comes and arrests you for viewing kiddie porn on-line. You say it was next door, they ask next door who say - no - not me - got my own WiFi here. At least this way, if the someone has been surfing for KP on your connection, then you have a police record that peeps next door have also been using the Wifi.

Just me 2p

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MS hit with Red Ring of Death lawsuit

Joe Blogs
Joke

@James Pickett

James....James.... don't you realise, they don't have time to send it back becuase they are too busy playing games. I mean - come on!!! what's more important that playing games!!!

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