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* Posts by Christoph

1665 posts • joined 24 Dec 2007

JLaw, Kate Upton exposed in celeb nude pics hack

Christoph
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Re: iCloud security is the real story here

Or they each took their phone in for repair/service, and the staff there carefully checked all image files.

Because obviously they have to do that in case they discover child porn that they need to report.

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What do you mean, I have to POST a PHYSICAL CHEQUE to get my gun licence?

Christoph
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Alert

DVLA ?

The DVLA is hardly the best example to use.

Yes, it is very efficient and competent. Today. But that's after many years of improving the system and getting the bugs out and the procedures straight.

When it first started up it was commonly known as the "Swansea Joke Factory".

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Oz biz regulator discovers shared servers in EPIC FACEPALM

Christoph
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Facepalm

Remove head from rectum before issuing non-discretionary orders on technical matters you know nothing about.

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Experimental hypersonic SUPERMISSILE destroyed 4 SECONDS after US launched it

Christoph
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Re: Why?

"Substitute (insert religious/ political belief) fanatic with a bag of semtex/cylinder of nerve gas/lethal bio agent."

The overwhelming majority aren't doing that just to be evil and nasty. They're doing it because we keep bombing them. Invading them. Killing them. Robbing them. Destroying their countries and their culture. Imposing puppet dictators. All in the name of defending Democracy (and making a nice profit while doing so).

Maybe if we stopped killing them they wouldn't be so keen to kill us?

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Christoph
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Re: Why?

They have this dream of being able to press a button and kill anyone they have taken a dislike to, with zero risk to their own people. An ultimate military fantasy where nobody can challenge them in any way without being eliminated on the spot.

And yet they still also fantasise about being the world's greatest democracy.

If they did have such a weapon it would of course rot away their remaining morality, ethics, and credibility.

It would also mean that the only way to respond to them (other than the total abject surrender of the rest of the human race) would be 'terrorist' attacks - the very thing it's supposed to defend against.

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Bright lights, affordable motor: Ford puts LED headlights onto Mondeo

Christoph
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So you can play various tricks with these - does that include being able to switch the headlight direction over when you are in in a country where they drive on the right?

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Don't even THINK about copyright violation, says Indian state

Christoph
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Remember that this is the country where someone can have you declared dead and can then inherit your property, even if you are standing there objecting.

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Hello, police, El Reg here. Are we a bunch of terrorists now?

Christoph
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You should only watch nice, safe, authorised, approved videos.

Like videos of innocent people being massacred wholesale by people on our side. That's perfectly OK.

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UK government accused of hiding TRUTH about Universal Credit fiasco

Christoph
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The only problem with Universal Credit is hiding its true intent until it's too late.

The eventual target is to shut down all benefit payments and leave everyone who has committed the crime of being sick, disabled, unemployed, or just paid too little to survive, to starve and die.

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Spin doctors crack 'impossible' asteroid hurtling towards Earth

Christoph
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If they hit it fairly soon and break it up, the pieces will have a long time to spread out - all that will hit the Earth are one or two ordinary meteors.

What puzzles me is how it got created in the first place. If it was already spinning rapidly, any impacting material would have bounced off. Probably knocking other bits free at the same time. So how did the various bits of rubble assemble into the asteroid? Unless it assembled first and then got spun up later (there's some odd effects that can do this)?

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ANU boffins demo 'tractor beam' in water

Christoph
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That works fine in a tank of still water. But they seem to generate the wave patterns by moving a block in the water. What happens when they try to collect oil in the open sea? They have to somehow allow for the existing waves when moving their generator. Not impossible but very tricky, especially sensing just what those waves are doing in time to modify their generator's movements.

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Samsung sticks with CHILD labor shame fab: Zero-tolerance means 30% less trade

Christoph
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"long hours, inadequate pay and punitive systems that discipline workers by docking their pay or stopping them from taking breaks. "

Who do they think they are, Amazon?

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GCHQ names the Hogwarts for Hackers

Christoph
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Black Helicopters

So if you pass one of these courses and don't go to work for them or for someone they approve of, they will keep a permanent eye on you to see just what you wanted that course for.

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Grabby baddie scours Paddy Power's towers: 650k punters leaked and it took 4 years to admit it

Christoph
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FAIL

"security question and answer pairs."

"no ... customer passwords were compromised ... and customers’ accounts are not at risk as a result."

Oh good. They can't log in with stolen passwords. The most they will be able to do is to use the security questions to change the password, and then log in with the new password. No problem at all then.

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Boffins spot weirder quantum capers as neutrons take the high road, spin takes the low

Christoph
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Boffin

Re: Oh, yeah?

Here is the proof. The fact that you are reading this.

Current technology, especially electronics, depends critically on quantum mechanics being correct.

Not just hand-wavingly 'about right', but exactly and precisely correct to many places of decimals.

If the weird and non-intuitive properties of quantum mechanics were merely 'mystical mumbo-jumbo' then my computer would not work to read your message and write this reply. Your computer would not work to read my reply. The web server would not work. The Internet that connects them all would not work.

Quantum mechanics is by far the most accurate description of how the Universe works that we have ever produced. Nothing else even comes close.

Yes, it's weird. Yes, it's non-intuitive. Yes, nobody can really understand it. But the Universe doesn't care whether we understand it or not. It just goes on working that way.

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Mozilla keeps its Beard, hopes anti-gay marriage troubles are now over

Christoph
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Joke

Any Doc Smith fan will know they should never have appointed one of the Eich.

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LOHAN's stirring motto: Ad Astra Tabernamque

Christoph
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Re: Zero-g brewing?

Actually that's by Bill Sutton, though Duane may well have sung it.

Come and see Bill and Brenda at Loncon 3 next month!

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Beancounters tell NASA it's too poor to fly planned mega-rocket

Christoph
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Re: Solid boosters?

Probably called a "half-circular excursion arc"?

Followed by "Lithobraking"

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Christoph
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Solid boosters?

Using solid rocket boosters on the Shuttle was a really bad compromise to save money. And now they are going to do it again - to save money. One of the reasons the private companies can do better is that they don't have a huge legacy of obsolete hardware that they have to re-use.

Solid rockets on a man-rated vehicle is a terrible idea. Once they are lit there is no way to control or abort them, they will keep going until they burn out.

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Australia floats website blocks and ISP liability to stop copyright thieves

Christoph
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"expand liability beyond carriers to ensure that entities like Universities and even search engines can be held liable for users' activities."

So why are they stopping there?

What about the teachers and parents who didn't teach those users to avoid infringing copyright? Surely they can be sued?

What about the electricity companies that supply the energy to run their computers? They are obviously guilty.

The supermarkets that keep them fed while they infringe copyright?

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Help yourself to anyone's photos FOR FREE, suggests UK.gov

Christoph
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Holmes

I don't see the problem

Copyright law is perfectly simple and straightforward.

Rule 1: If you are rich you can sue poor people who copy your intellectual property for ludicrously large amounts, and bankrupt them with lawyers' fees.

Rule 2: If you are poor, rich people can rip off your intellectual property at whim without asking you or telling you, and definitely without paying you.

Rule 3: There is no Rule 3.

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Captain Kirk sets phaser to SLAUGHTER after trying new Facebook app

Christoph
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Re: Most Recent?

Yes. "You aren't using Social Fixer."

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Fear a terrifying killer robot revolution? GET A GRIP: Boffins invent cyborg hand for humans

Christoph
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Seven fingers?

There's an Inigo Montoya here to see you.

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Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 claimed lives of HIV/AIDS cure scientists

Christoph
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So nice to hear the USA roundly condemning people who shoot down unarmed civilian airliners.

Would have been even nicer if they'd done the same for Iran Air Flight 655 - or even admitted liability.

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Cops nab suspect using CREEPY facial recog system

Christoph
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I can see a major problem with claiming that an identity parade provides evidence.

They get a photo of someone committing a crime. They plug that into an enormous database of pictures. They come up with someone who by pure chance looks very similar to the criminal.

Then they put that person on an identity parade and ask "Is there anyone here who looks like the criminal?"

Well yes, of course there is! That's why the computer picked them out!

Given a big enough database there is very often going to be somebody somewhere who is a very close match. An identity parade should not be considered to be additional evidence.

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Listen: WORST EVER customer service call – Comcast is 'very embarrassed'

Christoph
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Re: A note for the blokes here

Asking you to think about what happens, about what those women feel like when subjected to that behaviour, is a slur?

Only a few men do that, but a hell of a lot ignore it when they see it happen, or laugh about it.

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Christoph
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A note for the blokes here

A note for the (mostly) male audience on El Reg:

Now you know how a woman feels when trying to tell a persistent idiot that No means No.

And no, she isn't going to explain her reasons so that he can argue about them with her.

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Christoph
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Use a small ISP

If you have the option (which I gather the USA hasn't?) use one of the many small ISPs.

They are helpful, knowledgeable and responsive.

When I've emailed my ISP (Merula) with problems, I've had helpful, responsive, friendly emails, often from the company boss (he sometimes emails after midnight!). When I emailed to cancel one service they simply went ahead and did it. No quibble whatever.

Same with my web provider (ICUK). They respond to problems. They fix them. They are helpful and friendly.

There's lots of other small providers. Use them! Or see them taken over by the big boys and reduced to the same "service" level.

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Voteware source code review 'could lead to hacking'

Christoph
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Same as in the USA - they refuse to release the source code for voting machines.

Meanwhile in Las Vegas if you want to run an electronic fruit machine you MUST make the source code available.

So it's perfectly OK to fiddle elections, but no way do they let you fiddle money.

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LOHAN seeks stirring motto for spaceplane mission patch

Christoph
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Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit (To boldly go)

But after all that work, it might turn out to be:

Parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus

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Read the proposed US ASTEROIDS Act to green-light mining IN SPAAAACE

Christoph
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"The mined materials would then be considered private property under US laws"

And exactly how do US laws apply in space?

Especially when they are so emphatic that US laws do NOT apply outside the US in places such as Guantanamo Bay.

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Dead letter office: ancient smallpox sample turns up in old US lab

Christoph
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The original White Horse (which Arthur called the White Hart) is long gone, but the SF meetings that were held there are still happening.

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Christoph
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I wonder what actually happened when someone opened the box and saw that label?

Presumably they put the box back down very carefully, and then screamed and ran like hell!

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What's that burning tire smell? It's Microsoft screeching away from the No-IP car crash

Christoph
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Re: WtF

I wonder what Microsoft will be doing with all the log files that track the activities of innocent third parties trying (and failing) to look up legitimate domains?

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That 'wiped' Android phone you bought is stuffed with NAKED SELFIES – possibly

Christoph
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Holmes

Re: Phones

"We do repairs on a large number of phones running all the phone systems, iOS, Android, Windows and Blackberry, almost all have pictures on, I don't think we have found quite the ratio as these researchers though."

Which directly implies that you search for and examine the photos on any phones which you repair?

It is of course well known that this happens. What's not so well known is how often other information gets copied off.

So best to wipe the phone before you get it repaired.

Oh, the fault that needs repairing prevents you from wiping the phone? Looks like you have problems.

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Printed diode can slurp power from phone signals

Christoph
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Clothing labels

Is this just for stock control up to point-of-sale, or do they expect to use them for smart wardrobes and washing machines?

Because it's likely to last about as long as the ink on those washing instruction labels - about 3 washes.

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Revealed: SECRET DNA TEST SCANDAL at UN IP agency

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Universal Discredit: Gov admits Treasury HASN'T signed off biz case

Christoph
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We asked IDS what would happen to all the people left starving and destitute by his department's incompetence.

We'll get back to you with his answer once he's stopped laughing long enough to give it.

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Report: UK.gov wants to legislate on comms data BEFORE next election

Christoph
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We are a democracy

We have the free right to choose how we are governed!

We can choose between a party that is gong to bring in draconian laws, a party that is gong to bring in draconian laws, or a party that has no hope of getting in but will bring in those draconian laws anyway if they do.

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Boeing to start work on most powerful rocket ... EVER!

Christoph
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Re: Scary stuff...

" why didn't they go with the F1? That thing worked"

"the $US2.8 billion contract"

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USA to insist on pre-flight mobe power probe

Christoph
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Re: The queues will get horrendous

You've already got problems if you carry laptops or portable HDDs to the states. Not only will all your data get copied off, they may add spyware.

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Google BLOCKS access to Goldman client-leak email

Christoph
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Well done Google. Even when everyone agrees it needs to be done, they still make sure all the legal requirements are in place before releasing information on an innocent third party.

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NASA: Satellite which will END man-made CO2 debate in orbit at last

Christoph
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"some answers on if and how we can do something about climate change."

If the denialists manage to stall everything for only a few more years, the answer will be:

Location: Up shit creek

Paddle status: False

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Christoph
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Re: On the gripping hand..

We are pumping CO2 into the atmosphere. In huge amounts. This is not something that's in doubt, we are burning stuff and producing CO2.

So for these changes to be NOT man made, that CO2 would have to be disappearing somewhere without trace, and some other CO2 would have to be appearing from some unknown source in similar amounts, and have only started appearing in the last few years rather than the billions of years Earth has been around.

Yes, it appears that nobody (other than yourself) is considering that possible case.

Odd, that.

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MIT and CERN's secure webmail plan stumped by PayPal freeze

Christoph
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When we pressed the PayPal representative on the phone for further details, he "

said "Ouch! Err ... we .. . ouch! ... can't, um, comment on ... ouch! ... any of that"

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Drone-assisted Swiss construct virtual 3D castle

Christoph
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Switzerland’s most visited historic monument

Not any more? Will people not bother to visit when they can tour it remotely?

Or possibly visitor numbers might increase, to view the real thing after doing a remote tour?

I hope someone will be doing a detailed look at the numbers to check what actually happens.

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It's a Doddle: Amazon inks train station parcel deal with Network Rail

Christoph
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Deliver to no-longer-manned suburban tube station.

Pick up from locker late night when getting home from the pub.

Head out half-drunk, in dark, from known collection point with expensive gadget under arm.

What could possibly go wrong?

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US spanks phone-jamming vendor with $34.9 MEEELLION fine

Christoph
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Re: What we need

Unfortunately it's not just 'official' emergency calls that people might need to make or receive.

There's plenty of things that are emergencies for individuals but are nothing to do with the official emergency services.

Just as an example, would you want to stop someone receiving the message "We have found a compatible donor. Come in for surgery NOW" ?

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DON'T PANIC: Facebook returns after 30-minute outage terror

Christoph
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"in living memory" means within the memory of the oldest people still alive.

So for Facebook to have had an earlier outage, it would have to have happened while Victoria was still on the throne.

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Microsoft eggheads publish JavaScript crypto code for devs

Christoph
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Black Helicopters

"and MS notes that this library will probably be replaced in future versions."

Obvious problem there - even if they don't quietly slip the NSA back-doored version in later, who is going to believe them that they won't? (Or won't have their arms twisted to do so.)

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