Feeds

* Posts by Christoph

1697 posts • joined 24 Dec 2007

Edward who? GCHQ boss dodges Snowden topic during last speech

Christoph
Silver badge

You missed out the bit where he offered to sell everyone a bridge.

"we strain sinews to locate hostages imprisoned in dark and dangerous places"

Has he tried searching on "Guantanamo Bay"?

13
1

FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers

Christoph
Silver badge

This kind of error is extremely easy to make with a single slip, and for inexperienced people it is excusable.

If, that is, you are living in the early 1990s when e-mail first became popular and nobody really knew what they were doing. It is NOT excusable from a large firm 20 years later.

2
0

'George Orwell was an OPTIMIST. Show me a search history, I'll show you a perv or a crook'

Christoph
Silver badge

" Show me your search history and within five minutes I'll find something embarrassing or incriminating. Guaranteed."

"If you give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest of men, I will find something in them which will hang him." -- Cardinal Richelieu

15
0

GP records soon wide open again: Just walk into a ‘safe haven’

Christoph
Silver badge

Re: Support this

Help for research is a minor side effect at most. This is about making money for big business and advertisers, plus the idea that our personal information is the governments to do what it likes with - and it likes doing as much as possible with it to keep us controlled.

Guess what, there will be exceptions to make sure that government ministers' visits to the VD clinic won't get included.

4
0

MasterCard adds fingerprint scanner to credit cards for spending sans the PIN

Christoph
Silver badge

This is already broken

Well known methods for making copies of fingerprints already exist and have been shown capable of fooling the sensors.

5
0

FBI boss: We don't want a backdoor, we want the front door to phones

Christoph
Silver badge

Encrypted phones? That's nothing

Does he realise that it is still possible in the USA to buy a house that does not have a telescreen fitted in every room? Something must be done to protect the children!

11
0

Scientists skeptical of Lockheed Martin's truck-sized FUSION reactor breakthrough boast

Christoph
Silver badge

Have they got it working?

If they have not got it actually working and producing excess power (or something very close to that) then they cannot know whether it will ever work. So all their fancy predictions of when it will be available are nonsense.

4
0

Ancient Brits 'set wealthy man's FANCY CHARIOT on FIRE' – boffins

Christoph
Silver badge

More proof of terrorist attacks! The Police must have greater powers to control these incidents!

8
0

Knives out for new EU rules forcing govts to reveal hacker attacks

Christoph
Silver badge

"According to the commission, 93 percent of large corporations experienced a cyber attack in 2012."

What do they class as a cyber attack? If it's something like "someone tested our web site for a few obvious security holes but didn't get anywhere" then it must be 100% who got attacked.

2
0

South Korea faces $1bn bill after hackers raid national ID database

Christoph
Silver badge

They should ask Nu Blu Labour's advice. They'll tell them that there's an easy fix for all their problems - a National ID Card!

4
0

WOMEN, your 'SUPERPOWER' is ... NOT asking for a RAISE: Satya Nadella

Christoph
Silver badge

"I believe men and women should get equal pay for equal work. "

I believe that it's insane to suggest anything else.

Mind you, theoretically the bosses should be paid by the amount of work they actually do compared to the amount the employees do. And that's not likely to happen any time soon!

6
0

Why US Feds and g-men kick up a stink about a growing smartphone encryption trend

Christoph
Silver badge

Re: So the child abductor phones whom ... his counselor?

"The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

-- Hermann Goering

26
1

ESA's comet-chasing Rosetta eyes up 67P's vital statistics

Christoph
Silver badge
Headmaster

Rock?

A comet isn't a rock - that would be an asteroid.

It's reckoned to be a 'dirty snowball' - mostly ices with maybe lumps of rock scattered through it.

0
0

NAKED CELEBRITY PICS LAW BOMB dropped on ad giant Google

Christoph
Silver badge

Why sue Google rather than the sites posting the pictures?

Because Google have a lot of money and can be found easily.

3
1

LulzSec supersnitch led attacks on UK, Australia – report

Christoph
Silver badge

Re: So...

No, no - it's an act of war if somebody else does it to the US. If the US does it, it's vital to the national defence.

6
1

Microsoft WINDOWS 10: Seven ATE Nine. Or Eight did really

Christoph
Silver badge

"right down to embedded devices such as life-support systems."

Is that something that El Reg interpolated, or were Microsoft actually insane enough to suggest that and beg for an endless stream of jokes about it?

92
1

Payment security vastly improved when you DON'T ENTER your BANK DETAILS

Christoph
Silver badge
Joke

Can I be the first to say ...

It's just a token gesture

10
0

Ello? ello? ello?: Facebook challenger in DDoS KNOCKOUT

Christoph
Silver badge

Yes, my understanding is that most social media sites start off invite-only simply because they don't yet have the necessary kit to handle an influx of many thousands of users. The invite system lets them easily control the rate of growth to match their current capacity.

0
0

Microsoft on the Threshold of a new name for Windows next week

Christoph
Silver badge

Window Pane - because it's a pain

11
0

Putin tells Google, Twitter, Facebook: Have a vodka and censorship on the rocks

Christoph
Silver badge

"that breaches Russian election regulations"

People forbidden to speak freely about elections? Horrors - who do they think they are, the UK?

11
4

FBI boss: Apple's iPhone, iPad encryption puts people 'ABOVE THE LAW'

Christoph
Silver badge

There is a world outside America. The people there do not want the American authorities to be able to read all their personal information at whim. Even if the FBI throw a screaming temper tantrum about it.

27
1

UK banks hook themselves up to real-time cop data feed

Christoph
Silver badge

I trust that they have tried to make sure that data only flows one way on these links?

0
0

Microsoft vs the long arm of US law: Straight outta Dublin

Christoph
Silver badge

Have the US government explained how they would react if, say, Andorra decided it could enforce an order to grab data from a server in the USA?

Hang on, make that Grand Fenwick.

21
0

Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights

Christoph
Silver badge

The country which has just decided to trash the planet's climate is doing a lot more damage to a lot more people than any terrorist could.

3
1

THE DEATH OF ECONOMICS: Aircraft design vs flat-lining financial models

Christoph
Silver badge

Re: One factor left out - The System

"Anyone know of a political party with differing ideologies these days?"

The nearest to it is the Greens. They're a long way from perfect, but they are trying. And they definitely want to get away from the current system while we still have a planet we can live on!

24
8

JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!

Christoph
Silver badge

Re: Margin of error

The accusations of misconduct are already being prepared for challenging a Yes vote. Claims of violent actions by campaigners and suppression of No speeches.

These claims have been specifically denied by the Chairman of the Scottish Police Federation.

As for the result being too close to call, Craig Murray has an interesting take on that.

The No campaign seems to be entirely FUD, without any actual positives. And Craig has a really interesting comment on that, from a Pole who saw the same reaction to Solidarity.

7
17

Oi, Tim Cook. Apple Watch. I DARE you to tell me, IN PERSON, that it's secure

Christoph
Silver badge

So what happens when the Attorney General orders him to reveal who has access to the information, and the NSA have ordered him not to reveal that they have a tap implanted to grab every bit of data that enters the system?

4
0

New Snowden leak: US and Brit spooks 'tap into German telco networks to map end devices'

Christoph
Silver badge

Did anyone seriously believe that the US were not doing things like this?

If they have the technical capability then they will do it. Questions of law or morality are simply ignored. Anything that they can grab they will grab.

10
1

Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport

Christoph
Silver badge

Even worse if they'd taken the explosives out

Suppose they'd removed the explosives, then later gave her the bag.

Then a long time later the security people somewhere else swab the bag for explosives residue and get a positive.

How is she going to explain that? People have been convicted on the basis of microscopic amounts of explosive.

Same problem with that one a few years back where the French planted explosive in a passenger's suitcase and then lost it. Even they didn't know whose the case was. And apparently that's a common tactic. How many people are carrying suitcases with detectable explosive residues and no possible way to explain them?

6
0

BBC Trust candidate defends licence fee, says evaders are CRIMINALS

Christoph
Silver badge

Re: Harassment

The BBC are so totally incompetent that they cannot seem to grasp the idea that there are many people in this country who do not have a television set and do not want a television set. I know several other people who do not have one.

They have been harassing me for years, even to threatening to "come back with a warrant" - which would involve them perjuring themselves to the magistrates to get that warrant.

I do not want their product. Why should I have to put up with their arrogant, ignorant, incompetent salesmen continually harassing me to try to get me to buy their product? They make spammers look good!

17
1

CloudMask dons cape and sets foot on the mean streets of Blighty

Christoph
Silver badge
Alert

Sometimes you need administrative access

"only the owner of the data maintains control of decryption keys and decides who should get access to data"

What happens if that owner drops dead, or resigns, or gets fired?

What happens when an employee squirrels away as much data as he possibly can, locked to only himself? There's lots of people, especially empire-building middle managers, who would have that reaction. It's going to be tricky and expensive to fire them without losing all the data.

1
0

SHIP OF FAIL: How do we right capsized institutions we thought would NEVER go under?

Christoph
Silver badge

We need a country with a highly educated population and a healthy economy, that doesn't want anything to do with the Thatcherite rubbish that all the big three parties spout.

And in a couple of weeks time we may have one. Just not in England.

5
12

iCloud fiasco: 100 FAMOUS WOMEN exposed NUDE online

Christoph
Silver badge

Re: iCloud security is the real story here

Or they each took their phone in for repair/service, and the staff there carefully checked all image files.

Because obviously they have to do that in case they discover child porn that they need to report.

0
0

What do you mean, I have to POST a PHYSICAL CHEQUE to get my gun licence?

Christoph
Silver badge
Alert

DVLA ?

The DVLA is hardly the best example to use.

Yes, it is very efficient and competent. Today. But that's after many years of improving the system and getting the bugs out and the procedures straight.

When it first started up it was commonly known as the "Swansea Joke Factory".

3
0

Oz biz regulator discovers shared servers in EPIC FACEPALM

Christoph
Silver badge
Facepalm

Remove head from rectum before issuing non-discretionary orders on technical matters you know nothing about.

19
0

Experimental hypersonic SUPERMISSILE destroyed 4 SECONDS after US launched it

Christoph
Silver badge

Re: Why?

"Substitute (insert religious/ political belief) fanatic with a bag of semtex/cylinder of nerve gas/lethal bio agent."

The overwhelming majority aren't doing that just to be evil and nasty. They're doing it because we keep bombing them. Invading them. Killing them. Robbing them. Destroying their countries and their culture. Imposing puppet dictators. All in the name of defending Democracy (and making a nice profit while doing so).

Maybe if we stopped killing them they wouldn't be so keen to kill us?

13
11
Christoph
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Why?

They have this dream of being able to press a button and kill anyone they have taken a dislike to, with zero risk to their own people. An ultimate military fantasy where nobody can challenge them in any way without being eliminated on the spot.

And yet they still also fantasise about being the world's greatest democracy.

If they did have such a weapon it would of course rot away their remaining morality, ethics, and credibility.

It would also mean that the only way to respond to them (other than the total abject surrender of the rest of the human race) would be 'terrorist' attacks - the very thing it's supposed to defend against.

25
3

Bright lights, affordable motor: Ford puts LED headlights onto Mondeo

Christoph
Silver badge

So you can play various tricks with these - does that include being able to switch the headlight direction over when you are in in a country where they drive on the right?

10
0

Don't even THINK about copyright violation, says Indian state

Christoph
Silver badge

Remember that this is the country where someone can have you declared dead and can then inherit your property, even if you are standing there objecting.

3
0

Hello, police, El Reg here. Are we a bunch of terrorists now?

Christoph
Silver badge

You should only watch nice, safe, authorised, approved videos.

Like videos of innocent people being massacred wholesale by people on our side. That's perfectly OK.

31
2

UK government accused of hiding TRUTH about Universal Credit fiasco

Christoph
Silver badge

The only problem with Universal Credit is hiding its true intent until it's too late.

The eventual target is to shut down all benefit payments and leave everyone who has committed the crime of being sick, disabled, unemployed, or just paid too little to survive, to starve and die.

7
0

Spin doctors crack 'impossible' asteroid hurtling towards Earth

Christoph
Silver badge

If they hit it fairly soon and break it up, the pieces will have a long time to spread out - all that will hit the Earth are one or two ordinary meteors.

What puzzles me is how it got created in the first place. If it was already spinning rapidly, any impacting material would have bounced off. Probably knocking other bits free at the same time. So how did the various bits of rubble assemble into the asteroid? Unless it assembled first and then got spun up later (there's some odd effects that can do this)?

0
0

ANU boffins demo 'tractor beam' in water

Christoph
Silver badge

That works fine in a tank of still water. But they seem to generate the wave patterns by moving a block in the water. What happens when they try to collect oil in the open sea? They have to somehow allow for the existing waves when moving their generator. Not impossible but very tricky, especially sensing just what those waves are doing in time to modify their generator's movements.

0
0

Samsung sticks with CHILD labor shame fab: Zero-tolerance means 30% less trade

Christoph
Silver badge

"long hours, inadequate pay and punitive systems that discipline workers by docking their pay or stopping them from taking breaks. "

Who do they think they are, Amazon?

2
0

GCHQ names the Hogwarts for Hackers

Christoph
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

So if you pass one of these courses and don't go to work for them or for someone they approve of, they will keep a permanent eye on you to see just what you wanted that course for.

8
0

Grabby baddie scours Paddy Power's towers: 650k punters leaked and it took 4 years to admit it

Christoph
Silver badge
FAIL

"security question and answer pairs."

"no ... customer passwords were compromised ... and customers’ accounts are not at risk as a result."

Oh good. They can't log in with stolen passwords. The most they will be able to do is to use the security questions to change the password, and then log in with the new password. No problem at all then.

6
0

Boffins spot weirder quantum capers as neutrons take the high road, spin takes the low

Christoph
Silver badge
Boffin

Re: Oh, yeah?

Here is the proof. The fact that you are reading this.

Current technology, especially electronics, depends critically on quantum mechanics being correct.

Not just hand-wavingly 'about right', but exactly and precisely correct to many places of decimals.

If the weird and non-intuitive properties of quantum mechanics were merely 'mystical mumbo-jumbo' then my computer would not work to read your message and write this reply. Your computer would not work to read my reply. The web server would not work. The Internet that connects them all would not work.

Quantum mechanics is by far the most accurate description of how the Universe works that we have ever produced. Nothing else even comes close.

Yes, it's weird. Yes, it's non-intuitive. Yes, nobody can really understand it. But the Universe doesn't care whether we understand it or not. It just goes on working that way.

17
2

Mozilla keeps its Beard, hopes anti-gay marriage troubles are now over

Christoph
Silver badge
Joke

Any Doc Smith fan will know they should never have appointed one of the Eich.

3
0

LOHAN's stirring motto: Ad Astra Tabernamque

Christoph
Silver badge

Re: Zero-g brewing?

Actually that's by Bill Sutton, though Duane may well have sung it.

Come and see Bill and Brenda at Loncon 3 next month!

0
0

Beancounters tell NASA it's too poor to fly planned mega-rocket

Christoph
Silver badge

Re: Solid boosters?

Probably called a "half-circular excursion arc"?

Followed by "Lithobraking"

4
0