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* Posts by The Jon

63 posts • joined 20 Dec 2007

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Vulture trails claw across Lenovo's touchy N20p Chromebook

The Jon

Re: half and half

Possibly the most northern thing I ever overheard:

- Chips and gravy please.

- Sorry, we don't do gravy.

- What!? Has tha nowt moist?

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George Clooney, WikiLeaks' lawyer wife hand out burner phones to wedding guests

The Jon

Re: Excuse me, but...

Is it just me that has a mental image of Don Cheadle distributing the phones to arriving guests, but giving instructions for their use in an appalling and unnecessary cock-er-ney accent?

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Fanfare of trumpets as LOHAN reveals mission patch

The Jon

@themoose

Seconded - why the 'Merkin continental outline and not a massively exaggerated Great British Isles outline instead?

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Nipper rolls up at nursery with 48 wraps of HEROIN

The Jon
Coat

Re: *Glassine, to be precise,

So glassine is like paper but is not paper. Therefore is imitation the highest form of philately?

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What did you see, Elder Galaxies? What made you age so quickly?

The Jon
Coat

Benjamin Button!

Benjamin Who?

Benjamin!

Who's there?

Knock Knock!

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Booze and bacon sarnies: A recipe for immortality?

The Jon

To paraphrase a well known curly-haired motoring journalist..

Bacon: the only known cure for vegetarianism.

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SCRAP the TELLY TAX? Ancient BBC Time Lords mull Beeb's future

The Jon

Re: Just a News Operation @janimal

"While you're at it grab the bastard who decided every show needs to give you a preview of what is about to happen, and then every five minutes remind you of what just happened and then at the end show you what will happen next week. Whoever you are please, please stop!"

You are aware that this is a method of turning 1 hours programming on the BBC into 1 hours programming on a commercial repeats channel by editing out the "coming up", "next week" and "previously" segments and replacing with 15 minutes advertising space, thus increasing resale revenue.

Likewise, when did you ever see the "news" section in a repeat of Top Gear on Dave?

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Apple-hungry thieves defy sinking New York City crime stats

The Jon

Stats

"...the targeting of Apple rose from just 25 cases in 2002 to more than 8,000 last year."

ZOMG, that's terrible! Oh, hang on, remind me: when were the iPod or iPhone released?*

*October 2001 and June 2007 respectively.

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PANIC OVER DROOPING house prices hits MEMBER-shaped estate

The Jon

End of George Road

Should be renamed as The Bell House?

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MEGA ASTEROID could 'BLOW UP EARTH' - Russian space boss

The Jon

Re: During the meanwhile ...

by my maths, if I buy a £2 lottery ticket then I am infinitely more likely to win the lottery than if I didn't...

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Mac fans: You don't need Windows to get ripped off in tech support scams

The Jon

Re: american accents

Seeing as though North American English accents outnumber British English accents globally by about 5:1 it's hardly surprising is it?

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Have you tried turning it off and on again - oh, you did: IT Crowd RETURNS

The Jon

Re: Don't forget Matt Berry

Almost. At. The. Station!

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Spotify strikes back at Radiohead - but artists are still angry

The Jon

Re: Another thought...

and dwarfed also, according to the article, by the electricity cost of running such a program.

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Put up your ... err ... hand for free vasectomy streamed online

The Jon
Coat

I had the snip...

... can't say it made a vas deferens to my life.

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Hanslope Park: Home of Britain’s ‘real-life Q division’

The Jon

Hanslope Park, once the scene of notorious murder and suicide

I did initially wonder if the murder / suicide involved the giant razer blade visible in the middle of the grounds as shown in the aerial picture..

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MSX: The Japanese are coming! The Japanese are coming!

The Jon

F1-11

The only time I saw an MSX was in publicity shots for atrocious post punk band Sigue Sigue Sputnik in the early 80s. IIRC each member had an item of new technology including a Sony Watchman, a Keytar and an MSX.

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The quest continues for a fondleslab that fondles you back

The Jon

blur

If one can visibly see a woofer cone vibrating at reasonable volume levels, wouldn't this be a bit of a blurry drawback for screen-as-speaker applications?

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McDonalds burger app gives it to you straight from the horse's mouth

The Jon
Coat

Re: I bought a burger in a Tesco's cafe yesterday...

Put my Tesco burgers in the fridge yesterday. Checked them today... aaaaaand they're off!

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Ten... alien invasions

The Jon
Thumb Up

Bad Taste?

Crumbs Crunchy Delights.

An entire alien invasion thwarted by a man called Derek.

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Basic instinct: how we used to code

The Jon
Happy

If I can type through these misty eyes...

Anyone else remember having basic code dictated to them from the manual / magazine and then taking it in turns with your brother to be typist, often with your mum proofreading?

Brother: 10 FOR I = 1 TO 20

Me [typing]: 10 4I=1220

Brother: no, 10 eff oh arr space eye = 1 tee oh 20

and

Brother: 1040 RETURN

Me: 1040

Brother: no, 1040 space arr ee tee you arr en

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Hands on with the Nikon D3200 DSLR

The Jon

Re: Write-up schmite-up

My D50 died recently (all appears to work, but black photos*). I've been tossing up the cost/benefits of repair, replace with 2nd hand D50 or replace with new.

There seems to be a lot of love for the D50, and as little more than a happy snapper i'm not sure I need the pixel count / video / effects / tea maker that new bodies offer. A few more ISOs may be nice.

Off to eBay, I think.

*yes, I have tried removing the lens cap

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MYSTERY programming language found in Duqu

The Jon
Coat

Intercal?

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Ten... top Android games

The Jon

Re: Ad-supported is not "free", please don't pretend otherwise

Indeed, just turn off data and wi-fi and, hey presto! No pesky ads.

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The Jon
Thumb Up

aDosBox and Civilization has got me gaming like it's 1992.

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George Lucas: 'No more Star Wars'

The Jon

At the risk of getting into a pissing match...

@NoneSuch: Let's check your evidence.

- CE3K took $303m box office (you forgot to add that in)

- Raiders of the lost ark was released in 1981 (and "we are talking about only the 70's" )

So I make the running total for the 5 other influential directors $1142.1m + $303m = $1445.1m. Almost double what Lucas did alone,

Granted, Lucas had the highest grossing film of those mentioned, and granted, ILM changed the game in movie special effects, however the figures you used to back up your argument were presented wrongly.

Don't get me wrong, I like Star Wars. I just don't agree that George Lucas single handedly resurrected the US movie industry in 1977. He has helped elevate sci-fi from B movie material, and that, to a lot of people around here, really seems to matter.

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The Jon
FAIL

Go on, i'll bite

>> can take single credit for resurrecting the US film industry in the late 70's

So: Scorsese, Ford-Coppola, Friedkin, De Palma and Spielberg were doing fuck all then?

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Ten... earphones for mobiles

The Jon

You seem pretty certain that all vehicles will approach you in your 160 degree field of vision. Good luck.

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Punters to favour Smart TV over 3D TV

The Jon

>> Telly buyers are keener on Smart TV tech than they are on 3D, but both features are going to be taken up more enthusiastically than televisions in general over the next three years."

This is shipment forecasts, so I would infer "forced upon" rather than "taken up"

I still can't see any attraction to 3D tv. iPlayer / 4OD / ITV player is a reasonable bonus if making an upgrade.

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Belkin Conserve

The Jon
Thumb Up

Pure filth...

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Wimbledon grunters turned down by viewers

The Jon

Pigeon Street

Is it just me, or does Azarenka sound like a synth-tom?

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Aussie vendor pledges to ship 'first' Chrome laptop this week

The Jon
Coat

Not for me...

...i'm Agoraphobic.

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Wolfram Alpha

The Jon

mobile broadband question

perhaps you needed to ask about cellular broadband. two nations divided by a common language and all that.

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Pakistani IT admin leaks bin Laden raid on Twitter

The Jon
Big Brother

Emmanuel Goldstein is dead

who is going to feature on the two minutes hate now?

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Imitate Real Ale quaffers, save the economy, says biz prof

The Jon
Pint

300 Beers

My mate Al got the book "300 Beers to try before you die" and we have challenged each other to do as many as possible this year. I've currently done 80, and 70 of those I had never drunk before. Approximately 10 of these are now firm favourites. Thanks to this article I can now justify to my wife that I am helping the economy.

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BT blamed for Davina McCall spamcalls

The Jon

Davina McCall

>> BTW, who TF is Davina McCall?

She's like marmite. Personally, I would - but my mate Al would rather poke his eyes out with spoons.

I hope that clears it up for you.

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Man makes music on Linux-based touchscreen guitar

The Jon

Why...

has he messed with the fret intervals? Surely this will put off "proper" guitarists who will need to re-learn left hand positions.

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TalkTalk kills Tiscali

The Jon
Happy

Suckers

Got a flyer from Talk Talk on Wednesday about their current deal. I was a Tiscali customer and well aware of the take over. The flyer offered the same benefits as my current Tiscali account but for £10 less a month (line rental included). No mention of existing customer exemption on the flyer. Phoned up expecting to be laughed at, got switched and they even waived the £30 connection fee. Now poised to save £10 a month for the same service from the same company... Anyone want a cheap wireless router?

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Governator in acrostic 'f**k you' outrage

The Jon
Terminator

Response

Surely the response should have been along the lines of:

Certainly the wording of Mr Schwartzenegger's veto could be deemed as an

unique and unfortunate coincidence. Strict and thorough proof reading of all

notes passed between politicians should be undertaken in prevention of

this occurring again any time in future.

Sincerely...

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VTOL hovership in semi-successful X-Prize attempt

The Jon
Happy

@John Smith 19

And a special hello to you too! Do I know you?

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Newfangled rootkits survive hard disk wiping

The Jon
Stop

shurely...

wipe the disk, flash the bios, re-install the OS?

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Ten of the best... noise-isolating earphones

The Jon
Thumb Down

@ open sauce

Bought the phillips £20 "noise cancelling" headphones. Shite. The noise cancelling box adds a bass boost and hiss, but doesn't remove anything. Also the rather large box hoding an AAA battery is in the middle of the headphone cord, so would hang at about mid way down to your jeans pocket where your generic MP3 player would be. Fairly useless design - the box (which doesn't hold a microphone as far as I could tell) should be at the jack end to be stowed in the same pocket as your player.

Swapped for £20 sony MDR-EX32s which are isolating instead, and sound just great with my crappy generic MP3 player.

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Western Digital WD TV HDD-to-HDTV adaptor

The Jon

so...

...whats the ui like? Does it support playlists? Will it do gapless playback? There appears to be a remote control, does it work well? Come on Reg, you've told us all about its features, but did you actually use it?

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Thought-operated game controller delayed

The Jon

no.

It seems from the marketing snaps that it either induces palsy or a stroke in the wearer...

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Dawkins' atheist ad campaign hits fundraising target

The Jon
Thumb Up

*Probably*

Maybe they should change the *probably* to a *definitely* in order to bait $religious_group into court. Then the defence can ask $religious_group to prove the existence of $deity. Job done for the atheists.

The Jon (secular humanist)

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NEC intros retro-look netbook

The Jon
Joke

snigger

is it really called a "lavvy"? chortle.

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Tiny MyCar named electric vehicle of the year

The Jon
Thumb Down

How Much?

9 grand for a butt fugly, 2 seat no luggage electric rolller skate. Hmm look at that classy dashboard... fail.

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'I can see dinosaurs from my back porch'

The Jon

@Martin Yirrell 29th September 2008 18:01 GMT

Sorry to piss on your chips old boy, but MRSA is a bacterium. Unlike a virus, bacteria are considered to be living.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MRSA_(Mersa)--Methicillin_Resistant_Staph_Aureus

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virus_(biology)

Evolution = Scientific Theory = Science Class

Creationism = Religious Theory = RE / Theology Class

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Samsung unveils Small, Cheap Computer

The Jon
Thumb Down

was excited

until I saw the price. Samsung can make excellent value laptops (like the superb R700), why do they and so may others fail at the SCC brief?

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Robot airliner anti-missile escorts proposed

The Jon
Stop

Shurely...

... you just fire 2 missiles now: one to take out the drone, one to take out the airliner?

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Hadron boffins: Our meddling will not destroy universe

The Jon
Paris Hilton

@pctechxp

Trinity gorgeous? You must already be in another dimension.

Paris, cos I bet she's got plenty of strange particles floating around her doughnut shaped device.

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