Speaking as one of the few people who's ever tried to do this...

Spoke to DCMS last year and plans are VERY VERY set in stone- the Ministry mandarin was quite literally terrified, ranty and sweating at the thought of any newfangled ideas that might have actually fixed this, like instant UGC upload and voting, grouped content sharing as Anglia/Meridian/London used to do, or Spotrunner-style online ad purchasing.

This is NOT GONNA FLY as a US-style local franchising model - mainly because their mandarins consultants clearly don't get how that works either (or more and more frequently,doesn't)..

In a word...

...IETab?

Red rag to both proper developers and haX0rs everywhere, not to mention anyone who wants to do a fake "you've just won... now give us your bank details so we can pay you" to fool any bogan who runs across it.

Also, @ AB3, I think the pTerry take on Australia is appropriate. The invaluable part-work "Dangerous Mammals, Reptiles, Amphibians, Birds, Fish, Jellyfish, Insects, Spiders, Crustaceans, Grasses, Trees, Mosses and Lichens of Terror Incognita" extends at least into "Volume 29c Part Three", while a list of the harmless ones contains only "Some of the sheep."

Load of bantha fodder if you ask me...

Incidentally, did anyone notice the Iranian Revolutionary Guard are now hiring Wookies?

Not the only one...

I've been repeatedly warned by Lloyds TSB that they've sent me no genuine emails in the last three weeks, as they seem to be having something of a spam storm.

So on receiving spam from Lloyds TSB PrivacyGuard, I duly reported it - and got politely told to bog off because that one was genuine, although it was from a sister company.

Frankly, if a FRAUD PREVENTION unit of my bank - whether a direct report or a trading partner is sending out suspiciously phishy emails when they're telling me they're not... time to break out the LARTS in their security department?

(That'd be the perfect way of doing it just too... "hey, tovarisch, you can have all your details protected in proper Siberian salt mine- just tell us them all and sign up now at LTSB.RUSSIAN.BIZ.NET..." It's irony on a basic level, but I'd get a hoot out of it)

Paris justification: she knows all about privacy issues.

I'm Batman and so is my wife.

Mine's the black leather one with the hood and the anatomically correct nipples.

Tie me kangaroo down, sport...

...no worries, cobbers, there'll be another entertainingly-named project along in five minutes or so.

Not necessarily with ITV though - too much belt-tightening going on. (It'd make me feel much better about that, BTW, if I could tighten it around a couple of executive necks...*)

*joke stolen from the great prophet Hicks, may his name be praised forever.

Since it's hot and massively crowded...

Shouldn't they just rebrand it as "Hell plc" and start accepting mortal souls?

Odd thought...

...if you have a Mongols tatt. could the Feds really seize a pound of flesh for misappropriation of govt property?

Mine's the black leather one with the pocket protectors and "BORN TO /RUN hog.exe"

Richard Dawkins is as much of...

...an intractable fundamentalist bent on destroying opposing worldviews as any crazed choir-singing maniac I've shared a plane with.

(Believe me, being the only goth on a plane of 300 fundies is no picnic. Particularly on Pan Am.)

At least choir-crazed maniacs believe in SOMETHING.

Paris, because she knows Dawkins is really the alien lizard shapeshifter who was masquerading as the Queen Mum up until a few years ago.

Yet another reason to hate Excel, but...

If you want a thing done properly, DO IT YOURSELF. Those rows shouldn't even have been IN the damn document if it's going outside your direct control.

Paris: spread, sheets. Enough said.

PS @ Mark and Reg Admin: I vote for the Hoff as "Male Paris".

Maybe then the ITV Player...

...could get links into Sky and BBC. Oh, no, wait, they're depth-charging Kanga, and the BBC don't give a stuff.

Still, with their share price, not long before ITV get new owners who have (a) balls, (b) more aggressive lawyers and (c) actually know a thing or two about making entertainment. I for one will welcome the new mouse-eared overlords of the UK media industry.

Come to think of it - "Who's the leader of the gang that's great for you and me... M-I-C, K-E-Y, G-R-A-D-E..."

Mine's the one with "Not A Desperate High School Musical Ripoff, Honest" branding on it, available from all good stores...

Maybe if he didn't...

...use songs and content from primarily Democratic-leaning bands - and his licences PROBABLY DO NOT cover worldwide electronic reproduction via teh intarwehb tubes - he might stand a better chance, and used entirely Republican-supporting musicians instead.

So, that's... Ted Nugent, Ted Nugent, The Nuge, some more Uncle Ted and Ted Nugent.

Paris... for President.

(All politicians screw you over, but at least someone'd release hawt videos afterwards).

If you work in marketing or advertising...

...kill yourselves.

Just planting seeds, here.

[Paris, because it's vastly unjust that Bill Hicks never got to do her. Do material about her. Material. That's it.]

I demand... a Playmobil reconstruction!

...featuring Paris.

...does anyone know where to either get or make...

Paris Hilton for President 2008 t-shirts?

Hey kids... wanna see a magic trick?

The disappearing pencil trick is enough to have sent this into 15 territory. I've seen recent 18s that were tamer...

...you really do have to ask, did the BBFC clear this as a 12A because they were afraid of getting sued over the commercial damage?

These guys need some legal immunity and some teeth.

Paris, because she's rated for everyone.

and let's not mention...

...does this double HP's black operations and surveillance budget as well?

Delusions of competence...

The phrases "Government Security" and "Government Intelligence" are rapidly becoming oxymorons, largely because the morons running them.

These were numbered, highly confidential docs that despite their small size had a number of military critical pieces of information in them - not to mention a diplomatically difficult critique of the state of the Iraqi Army.

Considering how much .gov loves RFID tech, shouldn't all such docs now have RFID stickers that scream blue bloody murder to security if they are let out of the building? This is something my company does for mission critical docs (reasonably large media company, slightly gutted this went to the Beeb rather than us).

Also, going back to the earlier issues with stolen laptops, why wasn't the data on it auto-encrypted? Fingerprint logon and encrypted partitions are, again, something we use for all mission critical apps, not to mention proper firewalling and AVS.

You would expect that a government that claims to have a mandate on national and info security would take at least the same precautions you'd expect of a decent-sized business.

Paris: because (a) she has more of a clue about this bunch and (b) enjoys being secured before confidential debriefings.

thing about Chinese hack attacks...

...twenty minutes later, you want another one.

Coat, obviously.

and comes with a USB mouse...

...in the shape of Richard Hammond. Lifesize.

Paris likes hamsters.

paranoia for dummies

1. If you're going to use Sql, attack test it yourself.at least ensure any prog that interfaces with SQL removes escape characters.

2. Never leave Sql login visible on a script whose source can be publically read.(surprisingly common on dev machines)

3. Ideally, lock down which progs can access ftp and or cpanel to a tightly restricted IP range. 4. Tinfoil nipple pasties essential.

Finally, a way to make golf on TV interesting...

...and give a whole new meaning to the word "bunker"...

@multipharious... talk about a job that stinks

Definitely not taking the mickey out of anyone who has to inspect shoes for a living - particularly not ones that people have driven to the airport in or spent hours sweating in on a plane.

Black Helicopter Line: now departing to Eastern Europe and Egypt from London City Airport. Book your next rendition now!

UPDATE: honesty prevails, hara-kiri not required

"Japan Today reports that the passenger discovered a small metal box containing the cannabis tucked in a side compartment of his suitcase when he got to his hotel. The man called police who returned the cannabis to Narita airport", Japan Today said.

US cops would have nicked him for possession anyway, even if self-reported...

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,23765018-952,00.html

us customs dogs...

Went berzerk over my bag containing two pounds of oreo cookies and ignored Canadian fellow traveller's 142g.

One Double Stuf caramel coated Paris, I think.

Holyhead = Dagobah?

Looks like a swamp, nothing to do except Jedi training, then Darth Vader appears and beats the c**p out of you.

Paris: piece of ass, fine she is, yess, hmm?

OK, not flying Air NZ again...

...given how bad the battery life of most Apple accessories is...

Weapons of Mass Turbation?

G'night folks!

Apocraphyl story...

...any truth in the rumours that:

- US inspectors were stunned to find that UK Army land rovers not only used an almost identical radar absorbent paint for years before Stealth, but got it considerably cheaper

- said paint doesn't work in the rain, or even moisture-heavy cloud banks?

Black Helicopter: because none of this would have ever happened to Airwolf.

Police will review the CCTV footage...

..."frankly, the scripting was poor, the director needs more work on this genre and the actors all need to be thrown downstairs repeatedly... I mean, gently spoken to until they learn some discipline in their craft. Next week: we interview Tarantino in connection with the crime against cinema that was DeathProof. Evenin' all."

Paris: and why not?

Intestinate! Intestinate!

Better movie example was "Fortress" (with prisoners controlled by stomach-based agonizers, neutron cannons, a godawful script and nasty scowling from Kurtwood Smith).

Sounds like the sort of thing lily-livered liberals would go for over the exploding collars, anyway.

Happy SLAppers

Their press section praising the speed of response of their support team gave my a wry, simple chuckle.

Having support mails answered promptly is good.

Having them answered correctly by someone whose IQ points exceed that of a termite, a non-animated chipmunk or the current US President would be better.

Having them answered by someone who actually knows more than you do about the relevant system, has the right experience to fix the problem, has the right access level and the time to do it promptly would be ideal.

Now if they did THAT, that would be worth a press release.

You may say I'm a dreamer... but I'm not the only one...