* Posts by Johnny FireBlade

71 posts • joined 17 Dec 2007

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Pirate Bay launches encrypted private network

Johnny FireBlade
Pirate

Avast me hearties, yo ho!

I read that and thought "Brilliant!". Stick it to the man! If those greedy bastards weren't so intent on filling their own fat pockets, things like this wouldn't exist!

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Facebook encourages ISP customer protests over Phorm

Johnny FireBlade
Black Helicopters

Why should Facebook speak out against Phorm...

...when they're just as guilty when it comes to targeted advertising? I'm almost tempted to go and remove my hobbies and interests, just so they don't invade my privacy by suggesting I may want to buy things related to those hobbies and interests.

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WAG sues CPW for phone pic nick

Johnny FireBlade
Paris Hilton

So she didn't think to delete them first, then?

She's obviously not employed for her brains.

Paris for reasons so obvious, they'd only evade her (and Danielle Lloyd).

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BT names first 29 exchanges for fibre rollout

Johnny FireBlade

+1 with Lionel

Got a poxy fluctuating speed between 2 and 3 Mb. Very tempted by Virgin, to be honest.

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Obesity witchhunt is a 'moral panic' - sense out of Texas

Johnny FireBlade
Thumb Down

Moving goal posts

It doesn't really help that health "professionals" have moved the goal posts drastically regarding obesity in recent years to massage their statistics. Obese used to mean so overweight, one can barely move without assistance. These days, it's a bit of a belly and a double chin!

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Hollywood retrofits MacGyver into feature flick

Johnny FireBlade
IT Angle

Script

"just as soon as Hollywood jerry-rigs a script."

MacGuyver could make a script out of a tin of beans and a piece of string.

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Eset false alarm puts system files on remand

Johnny FireBlade
Thumb Up

To err is human

Alas, there's no way to totally remove human error. Computers and software are fallible because they were created by humans. Human error seeps into everything eventually.

I've been using NOD32 for years and I'm very happy with it. :)

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Hertfordshire drivers endure 200-year roadworks

Johnny FireBlade
Alert

Bit close to home

That's just around the corner from my house! Hopefully my great, great grandkids will be happy to see the work finished! ;)

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Speeding, driverless Nissan finally stopped by US bombers

Johnny FireBlade
Alert

Fit it to *any* vehicle?

"The company says that any vehicle you like can be fitted out with a strap-on robo driver"

I'd like to see them fit it to a motorcycle. ;)

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Luke Skywalker's lightsabre goes on sale

Johnny FireBlade
Joke

This isn't the lightsaber you think it is

You don't want £120,000. This isn't the lightsaber you think it is. I can buy it for £20. Let us go about doing business.

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Beatles stay off iTunes cos of 'heavy negotiations', man

Johnny FireBlade

Peace and love

As long as they're negotiating with peace and love.

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OMFG, what have you done?

Johnny FireBlade
Stop

What really annoys me about El Reg...

...is that there's no easily clickable way to get back to the main theregister.co.uk homepage after posting a comment on something on reghardware, for example. There's no link back and the only way to do it is either via the back button history, or typing the URL in again (or favourites, obv.). Sort it out lads, it's basic web design, innit?

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MS confirms European Xbox 360 price cuts

Johnny FireBlade
Flame

Don't spend it all at once!

Ooh, Microshaft cuts the console price by half the price of a game! How generous! (That's sarcasm, Microsoft)

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PC Gamers get Bill of Rights

Johnny FireBlade

Bit of a dig?

"Gamers shall have the right to demand that a single-player game not force them to be connected to the internet every time they wish to play."

Spot the blatant dig at Steam! lol

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Vodafone says termination rate clampdown would hit the poor

Johnny FireBlade
Alert

Vodafone surveyed 9000 people?

Well I wasn't one of them. My contract expires in November. *waves goodbye to Vodafone*

Copying America seems like a backwards idea. The UK's leading the way with technology: we've got a much higher broadband uptake and we'll mostly be digital TV within the next 5 years, so why take any technological cues from a country which is lagging behind? Morons. Hardly a revelation, that.

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Coming soon: Facebook - The Movie!

Johnny FireBlade
Paris Hilton

Only in America...

...could something that futile be given any credibility whatsoever!

Paris blatantly because it was originally her idea!

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Dabs.com courier goes titsup

Johnny FireBlade

Down hill?

I guess Amtrak went down hill over the years since I last knew of them. There was a time (late '90s, I suppose) where I wouldn't use anyone else if I had the choice. I always thought highly of Amtrak as a good and reliable courier company.

Ah well, RIP Amtrak for the good times.

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British boffins perfect process to make any item '100% waterproof'

Johnny FireBlade
Thumb Up

@ Steve Mason

"awesome news for bikers"

As I was reading the article, I was already imagining myself spraying my leathers! ;)

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MS takes Windows 3.11 out of embed to put to bed

Johnny FireBlade
Gates Horns

Ah yes, 3.x...

Back when Microsoft actually made reliable software (DOS). Nothing's worked as well as the DOS/Windows 3.x combinations since!

Ah, the memories of all the autoexec.bat and config.sys tweaking to make my games work, with boot menu options for specific games...

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Knight Rider satnav spied in the wild

Johnny FireBlade
Unhappy

Is it me...

...or does that thing sounds like Lloyd Grossman?

Looks pretty rubbish to me and actually made me shudder uncomfortably!

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Wikipedia kills Greatest Show On Earth

Johnny FireBlade
Stop

Don't people make you sick?

Apparently, I come across as a people person, but I am nothing of the sort. People wind me up something chronic with all their self-centred, petty squabblings. People always seem to want to "discuss the issue in public", so everyone else knows what's going on. Key point is, I think, who the feck cares?

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Apple sued over Mighty Mouse

Johnny FireBlade
Paris Hilton

Get out of here...

Mighty Mouse was a 1940s cartoon? :O I remember watching it as a lad (30 now), but that must have been re-runs of re-runs! TV is always ageless as a kid and as I had no perception of its age then, I still don't now! Rose-tinted glasses, anyone? ;)

Paris because at 27, she's probably not old enough to remember Mighty Mouse (re-runs an' all).

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ITV challenges Beeb for cheap innuendo crown

Johnny FireBlade
Joke

There's still time...

Once his case goes to court:

"Butt is presented in court"

Or if he's withholding evidence:

"Butt sits on vital evidence"

And of course, once he finally gets to prison:

"Prisoners kick Butt" or "Butt gets shafted by inmates"

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I Was A Teenage Bot Master

Johnny FireBlade

Got this far and had to comment

"His nonchalance was fueled by a combination of confidence in the superiority of their tactics and a warped belief that their commandeering of hundreds of thousands of PCs was perfectly acceptable, or in any case, no different than the way most online businesses behaved."

Phorm, anyone?

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BOFH: The Boss gets Grandpa Simpson syndrome

Johnny FireBlade

You what?

What is all this old school jargon he's babbling on about? Was that back in the day when a computer took up an entire room? Waaaaay before my time!

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Nintendo says no to Wii price cuts

Johnny FireBlade
Thumb Up

Fair play to Ninty!

They priced it reasonably to start with, so there's no need to reduce it. Lesson well learned from both Microsoft and Sony who have both dramatically reduced console prices after launching them too high. Sony's original price hike on the PS3 was my main reason for getting the 360 (that and the fact is was a more established machine).

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Nintendo Wii 'like a virus', games boss sniffs

Johnny FireBlade
Gates Horns

Who do you believe?

Ninty, in a second. I will never, ever believe anything Microsoft says.

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BOFH: Licensing model

Johnny FireBlade

Had me laughing aloud for the first time in a while.

I had to purposefully stifle myself at my desk, lest I draw strange, non-BOFH exposed glances from office colleagues!

Bloody genius, that. I only wish I knew someone that quick thinking. In fact, I wish I was! lol

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Friends Reunited killer gets life

Johnny FireBlade

Deported?

Anyone know if he got deported first, or is he yet another statistic in the "UK prisons over crowded" story?

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Brit tourist blags his way onto Iron Man set

Johnny FireBlade
Thumb Up

Local hero!

I work in Stevenage, about 10 minutes from Knebworth. My hero! :D

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AMD launches Dell's four-core Opteron boxes

Johnny FireBlade

Ah, AMD

I remember the days when the AMD K6 whooped Intel and cost a mere fraction of the price. What happened to those heady days of speed and cost saving? :(

"Hmm, new teeth. Where were we? Oh that's right. Barcelona!"

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Schoolboy's asteroid-strike sums are wrong

Johnny FireBlade
Joke

Conspiracy...

I reckon it's all part of a plan so NASA and the ESA don't have to look at the camera and say:

"I'm NASA and the ESA and I'm not smarter than a 10 year old!"

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London store brews £50-a-poop cat-crap coffee

Johnny FireBlade
Joke

Bit of math...

"They will relish the chance to buy such a rare coffee. After all, only 200kg of Kupi Luwak coffee is produced each year."

"You can decide for yourselves just how unique the Caffé Raro experience is at the Peter Jones Espresso Bar, or buy a 100g pack of the blend for later consumption - also for £50."

So what are they gonna do after the first two customers? ;)

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Phishers offer credit card discounts to prospective marks

Johnny FireBlade

@ one of the anonymous cowards...

"As for the email scam, it's MasterCard and Visa who need a slap for this for introducing an authentication scheme and doing sod all to promote or publicise it and the way it helps."

Couldn't agree more. The only reason I know what they are is because I managed the development of my previous employer's online shopping facilities. Public promotion is practically non-existant. I still haven't signed up for it myself though, because I'm careful where I use my card and don't succumb to phishers.

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Apprentice contestant to offer Zeppelin trips above London

Johnny FireBlade
Joke

@ dav

"What would happen if the Zeppelins get hijacked and flown into the Gherkin?"

Lots of city workers with high pitched voices?

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Religious MPs get free vote on hybrid embryos

Johnny FireBlade
Paris Hilton

Religion is the root of all evil

Agreed with all above.

People can believe what they want to believe, but when they start forcing their beliefs on others, that's when they cross the line. How much more "forced on others" can you get, if ministers are forcing their beliefs on policy?

Paris because even she'd have more common sense.

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Vista SP1 customers get free support

Johnny FireBlade
Gates Horns

MS offering support for free?

They must have made one almighty cock up! And people question why MS pessimists such as myself feel that way? Wake up, people.

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BT admits misleading customers over Phorm experiments

Johnny FireBlade
Joke

Dad's Army?

"Stephen Mainwaring, a BT Business customer in Weston-super-Mare, believes sensitive banking data relating to his online horse racing business was press-ganged into a trial of an unproven technology."

Don't panic Mr. Mainwaring! Actually, on second thought...

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Vote now for your fave sci-fi movie quote

Johnny FireBlade
Thumb Up

Nuke it!

"I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

I say that on nearly a daily basis!

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Johnny FireBlade
Happy

@ darren

"This is obviously the best quote and is also a double one as its used in another film.

Who knows what the other film is?"

I believe you actually mean:

"Klaatu barada ni*cough*!" ;)

And may I also add "I'll cut yer gizzards out!" from same nameless film? :D

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Public don't want internet filters, MS tells MPs

Johnny FireBlade
Unhappy

@ John Dow

"Lambert also said that existing filters in Microsoft products are not widely used even though people are aware of them."

Worrying perhaps, but could just be the result of a survey or focus group.

I think MS should really be asking themselves *why* the filters aren't used. Could it be because they're absolutely rubbish and 3rd party products offer far superior functionality? Windows Firewall, for example, has often caused me problems with mapping network drives. I mean, COME ON MICRODICKS! How can you engineer your own software to stop working with itself? Morons.

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Ron Sandler leaves Computacenter

Johnny FireBlade
Stop

Ninety grand a month? :O

OMG! I suppose they have to allow for some money for him to live on should this turn out to be a short term contract.

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Halo Master Chief armour offered on eBay

Johnny FireBlade
Thumb Up

Is it CE approved?

I'd love to wear that riding my bike!

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Firefox 3 beta is live

Johnny FireBlade
Gates Horns

@ Alex Read again ;)

Dude, FF is free! You pay for IE, whether you realise it or not. Nowt wrong with asking a community to support the development of a product if it doesn't cost anyone in monetary terms. It's the underdog rebellion, it feels more robust than the "chargeable" alternative and personally I wish them the best of luck!

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Teen hacker re-unlocks Apple's iPhone

Johnny FireBlade
Thumb Up

17 year old kid in car insurance shocker!

Insurance on a 350Z? Good luck to him! I suppose if he flogged the iPhones first, he may just be able to afford it. Then again, we all know that American kids drive around in sports cars, thanks to such historical documents as "Beverly Hills 90210", so they must all be rich.

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Microsoft forgers get jail time in Taiwan

Johnny FireBlade
Thumb Up

My vote for Prime Minister!

"In a mercantile economy the corporate is welcome to set prices where and how it likes with the full support of its local government (nowdays that's mainly the US but various European nations stick their oar in depending on the product). That local government(or alliance) then exerts pressure on smaller governments (do what we say or else we wont trade with you so you wont get any of our pie).

So it can sell cheap in China and Africa whilst charging High in Europe. Now if you try and sell from China to Europe at China prices - well that's just not on. The full force of the law is brought to close you down and arrest you.

However it's fine for that same company to put all their manufacturing in nations with cheap labour.

There is no Free Trade at the moment. Will free trade and old world capitalism return one day? Maybe... but not for a long time. It's funny to see us regress to a pre 1750 economic standing."

Well bloody said that man/woman! The whole world is f*cked up. There's plenty of glossing over the issues, but they're there nonetheless. Authorities try to cover it up with scare mongering like "climate change", but the economic practices that go on are shameful for such an "advanced and civilised" world.

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NEC goes Back To The Future with XP for biz users

Johnny FireBlade
Gates Horns

@ dervheid

I 100% agree with your comment mate, as I'm sure a lot of IT types do. Thing is, Microsoft will never a) listen or b) even hear our words. I wonder how many Microsoft employees actually read El Reg and even then, how many of them would actually report such a radical (albeit sensible) idea back to their superiors...

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MS bundles Vista SP1 and Server 2008 out the door

Johnny FireBlade

Might give Vista a go, then

Not on my main machine, obv. Got an ageing Vaio kicking around not doing much, so I think I'll introduce the Vista compatibility tool to it this evening and see what it comes up with. The last time I ran it was on an HP laptop when it told me that if I upgraded to Vista, a host of hardware would stop functioning, including the (uber cool) biometric scanner. Been waiting for SP1 before I even tried Vista (previous MS experience taught me that one), so it'll be interesting to see what happens.

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Brits can't distinguish history from the TV listings

Johnny FireBlade
Joke

@ Alastair

"The usual morons who think that Only fools and Horses is the ultimate in original comedy?"

The very same people who bought that decidedly dodgy smelling perfume off a couple of blokes called Del and Rodney down Peckham market!

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Google, Microsoft and Yahoo! play pots-and-kettles 2.0

Johnny FireBlade
Pirate

Oh PLEASE!

Both citing anti-competition against the other? Who are they trying to convince? It's obvious to anyone with half a brain that they're just trying to discredit each other! Anti-competition applies to both of them equally as far as the Internet's concerned. On a more grand scale, Microsoft probably has a larger presence and certainly has a larger software base, which is probably what has Google worried. If MS follow their usual "adware" style approach of bundling new Windows with their combined Yahoo! products, Google faces a very real possibility of losing traffic due to your average IT illiterate user being forced to go the Microsoft route. Although, with the historical judgment against MS over IE, Google could well have some ammunition to come back with.

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