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* Posts by An ominous cow herd

141 posts • joined 8 Dec 2007

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Brit graphene maker poised to go public: Yes, wonder stuff WILL float

An ominous cow herd

"Graphene is relatively simple – a sheet of graphite atoms"

"Graphite atoms" you say? Is that a new element?

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Barclays Online OFFLINE: UK bank site, mobile app go titsup for the evening

An ominous cow herd

Bank with Bitcoin: Make 25% profit in one evening

Then lose it all forever, without any trace of previous existence of said riches, the next day.

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Deep beneath MELTING ANTARCTIC ice: A huge active VOLCANO

An ominous cow herd

Re: Moving South

Maybe they used a time frame like that one because "0.96 cm per year" doesn't sound that impressive.

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IT bloke denies trying to shag sheep outside football ground

An ominous cow herd

Joke icon

A IT guy asked a friend to recommend an attorney to defend him against a charge of bestiality.

"I know a great trial lawyer," the fellow said, "but he's expensive and doesn't know how to pick a jury. I know another lawyer," he continued, "who' s not a great trial lawyer, but he's cheap and really knows how to pick a jury."

The IT guy settled on the cheap attorney, but immediately had second thoughts when the key witness began his testimony. "I saw that man mount his sheep from behind," he said, "and when he was finished, I saw the sheep turn around and lick his pecker."

The accused IT guy was devastated and had all but given up hope of acquittal, when a juror in overalls whispered to the fellow next to him, "You know, a good sheep will do that."

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Furious Frenchies tell Apple to bubble off: Bling iPhone isn't 'champagne'

An ominous cow herd

Re: Vauxhall and Marantz?

I'm still the proud owner of a Denon champagne coloured CD player.

Not only does it sound great, it stands out awesomely on the hi-fi rack.

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An ominous cow herd

Re: Méthode Champenoise

Blanc de blancs is not a region or method, it means the wine is made only from varieties of white grapes (as opposed to the usual stuff where pinot noir, a black wine grape, is used).

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Look out, fanbois! EVIL charger will inject FILTH into your iPHONE

An ominous cow herd

Correction:

Eadon will get heavily downvoted for beeing Eadon.

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An ominous cow herd

Re: Trusting ANYTHING plugging into a USB port....

erm... no.

my own phone does connect immediately as a media device, without any prompt, giving access to anything stored on the internal storage and any memory card.

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Logitech launches MEGA-PRICEY 15-in-1 remote

An ominous cow herd

I had the same problem...

Bought a Phillips RC that wasn't good enough (limited set of supported devices out of the box and not enough memory for new commands). Then I bought a Logitech, but operation was weird, it was based not on devices but on activities (switch -on or off- everything you need for TV or music or watching DVDs, not very friendly if you're watching TV and decide to watch a DVD or want to put on some music while the TV is muted...)

Finally a friend recommended I buy a cheap One-for-all command. Got the 6-in-1 for 30€ and it controls all 6 different brand devices I have without a hitch, and even lets me program 3 combo modes (that I defined as TV+DVD+Amp, CD+Radio+Amp and STB+TV).

Won't replace it for a while!

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Tax man to take a bite of tech employees' free meals?

An ominous cow herd

Re: Excuse me?

About the laptop analogy... let's try another one: whether I'm employed or not, I still have to use the loo. Then, from your point of view, I should be taxed for using it, right? So, what's your take on this now?

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Ten ten-inch tablets

An ominous cow herd

Have you even tried using the Archos?

It's got a RK3066 (dual core Cortex A9) that is barely able to support that resolution, it only works fine when you lower it to 1024x768.

And don't even think about running any of those flashy games out there, they'll just about crawl on you...

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Twitter must unmask racist French twits or face $1,300-a-DAY fine

An ominous cow herd

Re: Privacy? Free speech? Opinion? Bloody mindedness?

Not that I agree with most of this, but most countries have some kind of restrictions on any of those. In the UK you can not be a police officer and a fascist, if you want a visa to visit the US of A you must state you're not a communist, in France you can not say you hate Jews... What is considered private or allowed in the spirit free speech varies wildly depending on where you are. Opinions on such matters differ, like in so many other liberties (drinking age, voting age, consensual sex age, expressing one’s sexual orientation – when not conforming to the norm –, etc.).

It's the world we live in, deal with it! (i.e., try to change it if you don't agree with what's going on, but accept that others may think differently)

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Christmas ruined for 2,100 sex offenders booted off online games

An ominous cow herd
Meh

Re: Same article

This kind of thing happens from time to time. I think the problem is that Reg hacks don't read the Reg...

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Brazilian-made 'iphone' runs Android 2.3 Gingerbread

An ominous cow herd

Re: 2GB ram

It hasn't 2 GB RAM. What it has is a 2GB memory card included in the box.

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Man facing rare refusal-to-unlock-encryption charge: Court date set

An ominous cow herd
Trollface

Re: Making a stand.... or just thick ?

"crap legal advice"? No, no, he must have the top law professor from a prestigious university advising him... He'll be out in no time, guaranteed!

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BOFH: The Great Patch Mismatch

An ominous cow herd

RE: Don't think we really needed the footnote... *

You're beeing way too polite with the author on this one... ;)

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Watchdog halts Toyota Grand Theft Auto-esque advert

An ominous cow herd
Thumb Down

Thank you nanny, for taking so much good care of me

I feel all safe and confy now...

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Report: McAfee founder wanted for murder in Belize

An ominous cow herd
Mushroom

"Super perv powder"

Well, well, when searching Google for "super perv powder", it only knows this one article on El Reg.

So... what else can you tell us about it?

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Walmart workers filmed playing iPad frisbee

An ominous cow herd

As they say...

"An idiot and his job are soon parted"

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Edible iPhone case goes on sale in Japan

An ominous cow herd

120% chance?

Eh?

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President Obama declares VICTORY over JUSTIN BIEBER

An ominous cow herd

RE: Who the fuck is Justin Bieber?

You clearly don't have teen or pre-teen daughters....

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WinPho 8 fans now able to order HTC handsets

An ominous cow herd
Joke

RE: "2.1Mp front-facing camera, able to capture up to four people in a frame"

That's going to make wedding photo shoots a strenuously long job (depending on the couple's social skills, anyway)...

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Plucky orangutan rescued from encroaching biofuel plantations

An ominous cow herd

Re: Is it just me...

Yeah, sure, and that's why the pic's caption is "Orangutan at Chester Zoo"...

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Campaigners roll out political-correctness Voight-Kampff CAPTCHAs

An ominous cow herd

"a test for human empathy"

So it's not a CAPTCHA, it's a CAPTPHA: "Completely Automated Public Turing Test To Tell Psycopaths and (other) Humans Apart"

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Guidelines issued for Qi wireless gadget charging in cars

An ominous cow herd

What's the point?

What's the point of having wireless charging if the phone must be clipped to anything? Might as weel be clipped to a wired charging station...

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Navy devs cook up Android spyware to map your location - in 3D

An ominous cow herd

Re: Very annoying

Well then, read again... point 2 is for video, and there's no shutter sound when filming, is there?

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Japanese boffins unfurl banner above newly-discovered Element 113

An ominous cow herd

It shall be called "Ununtrium"

Or maybe it should be "Hyakujūsanium", for it's japanese origin?

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New monkey species with massive blue arse found in Africa

An ominous cow herd

Yes, yes, very fine blue arse...

But what about it's face?

http://9gag.com/gag/5353138

OMG!!!

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Nokia flagellates self further to quell fake cam ad Twitterstorm

An ominous cow herd

Media coverage!

If that's not the reason they did it, they surely are happy about it now (and bonus points for getting reporters to say stuff like "...it works extremely well - almost as well as the simulation...", so that much more people know now how great their new cameraphones are).

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Chemical biz 'Nitro' hackers use Java to coat PCs in poison ivy

An ominous cow herd

"Bobby-trapped" web page?

Like in "watched over by the Scotland Yard"?

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Samsung spends $4bn tarting up Texas factory

An ominous cow herd

Re: RE:Sammy knows it'll get an appeal in Texas.

I'd like to see how all that spending would be funded without those "typical banksters" and their "profession"...

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Cut'n'paste UK launch for cut-price Motorola Android

An ominous cow herd

But, but..

In their defence, I have to say that “Simply put, Motosmart makes life easier, you don’t have to worry about complicated settings and hard-to-follow instructions. Just turn this smartphone on and get instant access to the people and things in your life that matter most.”

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HP asks court to force Oracle to obey Itanium contract

An ominous cow herd

Re: Verbal Contracts

As Samuel Goldwin once said, "a verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."

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Given a beardie nerd the kiss of life? There's a medal for that

An ominous cow herd
Devil

First aid?

I've often applied tourniquets to PL/SQL developers who can't read the f%$#%$g specs, but it's the first time I've heard it called first aid...

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iLuv Vibro Classic II

An ominous cow herd
Happy

My first thought ...

.. was that you'd missed the NSFW tag

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Orange pulls out of women's Fiction

An ominous cow herd
Pint

"Five Quarters Of The Orange" by Joanne Harris

As for the icon, beer is kind of orange... or have I already had one too many?

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US gov boffins achieve speeds FASTER THAN LIGHT

An ominous cow herd
Alien

Re: Science fiction? Or reapplication of old news?

I guess it's the "achieve" part that's new, vis-à-vis just theorizing about it.

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Brazilian cops hunt pillaging 'gang of blondes'

An ominous cow herd
Headmaster

Hey Lester!

Brazilian lingo is portuguese, not spanish, so it's currency's (the "real" ) plural is "reais" and not "reales".

You're welcome!

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Hadron-colliding, volcano-tracking boffins pocket cloud freebie

An ominous cow herd
Facepalm

A bit off-topic, but...

"The idea at the ESA is to stick satellite measurements of the earth's surface - garnered from 20 years of readings accurate to within a centimetre - into the cloud, allowing more scientists to analyse the data."

They could use this data andt tell the nepalese how tall the Everest is, couldn't they?

( http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/02/29/everest_appeal/ )

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Cops cuff premium-rate SMS Android malware suspects

An ominous cow herd
Pint

Did it root *any* Android phone?

Wow! It's better than z4root, I would love to see that part of it on the market as an isolated app.

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Apple files patent for 'polished meteorite' keyboard

An ominous cow herd
Gimp

You can polish a meteorite up real nice,

...but it’ll never be anything other than a meteorite!

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UK cops cuff suspect after RnBXclusive takedown

An ominous cow herd
Coat

Thank you very much ElReg for including a link to the site

I clicked on the link and now I'm a criminal in the (twisted) eyes os SOCA!

Well, I'll mail you my attorney's fees...

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Amazon goes south with São Paulo data center

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Afghan elders refuse to be labelled pimps by number 39

An ominous cow herd

Or beeing on the 13th floor... most of them go from 12 to 14!

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Politicians call for Modern Warfare 3 censure

An ominous cow herd

You would say that, wouldn't you....

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Army raygun to boost power with starlight de-twinkling tech

An ominous cow herd

Hell of an acronym!

When the demonstration programme is over and the star production, it should be named “High Energy Laser 2 Units”

(see title)

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UK cops must justify using new mobile interception tech

An ominous cow herd

The keyword is "square"

So 10 sq. km is not 6,2 sq.miles, but a bit less than 4 sq. miles... (couldn't find the time to convert to nanoWales, sorry 'bout that).

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Airbus brews Scandium smackdown for carbon Dreamliner

An ominous cow herd
Mushroom

Carbon fibre is so last tuesday for bike frames

Titanium frames are the thing to have now!

But will Airbus or Boeing make an airframe from Ti, or maybe just the rivets?

At least it doesn't crack like c-fibre....

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Corning launches can-stand-the-heat Lotus glass for phones

An ominous cow herd

It's a coefficient, it has no unit. Scientifically.

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007's car outdrives iPhone in battle of the brands

An ominous cow herd

Nintendo (or iPhone) ahead of Lamborghini?

Yeah sure, I'd like a 3DS better than a Gallardo...

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