Or is this a new take on the old....
"I was hoovering naked when I slipped and..." excuse, Honest gov, we didn't put pics on a swingers'site, it was the car salesman.
553 posts • joined 7 Dec 2007
"I was hoovering naked when I slipped and..." excuse, Honest gov, we didn't put pics on a swingers'site, it was the car salesman.
"Traffic jammed" electrons....you get some "weird shit" results which I'm still trying to work out. Hint: look for a mach cone. Not being smut, just sayin'
...is that green rug in the picture, Microsoft's engineers' idea of a tree? We're doomed.
Been using my three "feel at home" contract in Spain for about 20 months now and bloody useful it is too. Hey ho, now I'll have to use my Spanish pay as you go pos. Odd thing is that the eu stated that it's illegal for UK car insurers to use the same conditions with car insurance contracts and that they must provide 365 day eu cover as part of the contract.
...To the husband of whose wife I'm"seeing" getting in touch as Facebook will determine we have similar interests. Oh and all my exgirlfriends suddenly becoming best mates. the joys of connectivity!
.... those Martian blokes tried this a while back with Phobos and Deimos.... and look what happened to them.
I love my Lumia 925 but need to upgrade my phone and contract. Tried buying a new winPho and/or changing my contract yesterday, but between MS's rubbish phone site, my fear of win 10 (and love of win pho 8.1) and the poor winpho offer from mobile providers, I'm just going to buy a new role of tape to hold my Lumia's case together and pray to God that one day MS stops screwing the pooch.
>>Detection vans can identify viewing on a non‐TV device in the same way that they can detect viewing on a television set.
The only thing that springs to my mind is that the guy doing time for selling fake bomb sniffers has come up with a new product line.
Would it not be easier for the BBC to ask for your tv licence ID when you log onto the site or open the app and just deny you access to the service if you don't provide it, which is similar to having iPlayer blocked when you use a foreign IP address? It would probably be more effective, less creepy and carbon friendly than having a sweaty bloke sitting in a van, stroking this thighs, muttering "milky milky" with the engine running, whilst sniffing the packets of teenagers and children.
....how have politicians managed to "miss" the internet to such an extent that they still think it's some trendy new TV channel. Non nerds have been using it en mass since about 2000 and the average road sweeper appears to know more about how it works than people who are supposed to be running the country. Surely in the past 16 years this person must have used the bloody thing or manybe she has a "man who does" that sorts out all that tiresome data entry stuff.
Given their recent form, MS will break it in a couple of weeks and then flog it off for a tenth of the price they paid for it.
>>is that more government spending is a very good thing because it leads to more government jobs..
More government jobs leads to more tea drinking, pension hungry, lard arses who immediately leggit to HR screaming "STRESS!" if anyone asks them to do anything.
Just my 2 cents (ex VAT)
Tax is like the clap...best avoided
Back in 2008-2010, you slapped an invoice in and had it paid in about 7 days. Now that everything has to be Maude-ified (gettit, gettit) you have to threaten to MCOL the bastards to get the cash out of them.
and he went back home last month
The missus got me a walky talky off Amazon yesterday.... gotta range of 10kms and no contract. I just tell her who's to get nailed when she's shopping at the Asda down the road. Blindin!
Freshwater fish does a "Great Escape" job and seemingly ends up loving a salt water sea. I thought at that point that if the marketing bods were so dumb, the car had to be.
Also reminds me of that old joke...Heaven is where the police are British, the mechanics German, the cooks French, the lovers Italian and the whole thing's run by the Swiss. Hell is where the cooks are British, the mechanics French, the police German, the lovers Swiss and the whole thing's run by the Italians.
Yeah, I wrote an app(lication) that did this back in 2008. IIRC it was a bit of a 'mare because of the different ways each MS app (Word, Excel, Visio, Access, etc) handled things. Anyhoo, the upshot was that the users kept their beloved macros and the sysAdmins kept their hair. Suppose I should have marketed the thing.
You're behind the times and your world view is too small. It's compulsory to have one in a car in France (for example). I got the cheapos out of Halfords the other day (£4.99 or something) so if I get pulled going down the A75 I won't get a fine. I'm working on the principle that if I can find them in the glove compartment, I'm fit to drive. ;)
Went to download it from the store, read the reviews...and didn't. Maybe you should make your WinApp "developer" read the article or (I'm guessing here) throw some more bananas into his cage?
....so far I've managed to body serve the whole mess by sleeping through xmas and with an " in the sales" promise. Now the sales are here, the only thing saving me is that HP has put up the price of the thing they were selling on the telly before xmas from £179 to £250 odd...so she's got that confused look on her face. However the day is fast looming where I'm going to be dragged off to PCWorld to provide pre-sales consultancy prior to getting my tech supp apron out. My advice is to get the cheapest laptop with the biggest screen, rip out win 8 and pray to God that she finally works out what she can really do on the iPhone, Samsung tablet and Kindle Fire HD instead of speaking, nothing (it's still in its box) and reading respectively.
PS...Linux guys read this, it'll give you a grounding on the subject...
...I don't see Apple reaching for their laywers already, so I can only presume, err... cont Page 94.
In the wacky world of corporate greasy poling, the company my GF works for sent out an instruction to "leverage" Christmas and attendance at the party was mandatory for morale purposes.
Imagine being married to/going out with the control freak twonk that thought that up Yup, thar be true psychos swimming in the corporate ocean.
I have bought my GF Kindles various since they first came out. I think she's on her 4th now (a Fire HD)and it seems to be surviving its nightly drop on the floor when she falls asleep whilst reading it. The rest all ended up as piles of bits in the bin (in one case, a soggy pile of bits). At those prices, she's not getting number 5...Blimey I'm shocked!
The best one I've seen comprised...
1) The official IT strategy as proposed by the IT staff which had a 5 year plan, a massive budget and was all techy and BIG METAL and had nothing to do with business functionality.
2) The self taught guerrilla developers sniping out applications from within their own business units so the units could function.
3) The top secret corporate IT strategy which was basically get rid of 1 and 2 by restructuring the business and moving the parts to other divisions.
It was amazing watching the battles knowing that it didn't matter a rat's ass who won what, because The Chief Grand Fromage was about to nuke the lot of them.
"Invariably someone puts a flight plan wrong and it borks the system"
I'm trying to get my head 'round this.... no "Your data are in error, please resubmit?" No, "This field only accepts numbers?" Please tell me someone didn't submit data with an apostrophe in it and that's what caused the connection failure.
Are they saying this was user error which brought the whole thing to its knees?
and therefore liable to be banned by mumsnet.
For something that should be common sense and bloody useful what happens is this...
.Gov sysAdmin1: I need a data centre
.Gov sysAdmin2: I have a data centre
.Gov sysAdmin1: I'm not using your data centre because I'll have no control over my data
.Gov sysAdmin2: I'm not letting you use my data centre because I'll have no control over security.
.Gov sysAdmin1: I'm phoning Capita
.Gov sysAdmin2: So am I.
Capita: Welcome friends, much cheapness for you, come into my parlour.
Series 1 Episode 7 (Vince in a coma) was so pant wettingly funny, I wet my pants. Apart from that, the BBC has blighted my existence since I was born. Every bloody year, the programmes I wanted to watch were booted off screen to be replaced by whatever South East England middle class crap happened to be passing that week.....e.g. Wimbledon. Then there was the great F1 sell out to Sky. I'll never forgive them for that. I felt really sorry for the people of Somerset last year. Just when the Beeb noticed that they had been standing in water for months, the Thames burst its banks and suddenly flooding was proper news because it affected commuters into London.
They should just rename the whole thing as the Surrey Broadcasting Corp.
I watch without paying. You can usually find another non UK channel either broadcasting via the internet or a satellite. OK, the commentary might be in Russian or Spanish or Chinese but the pleasures of watching it (legally) without getting the Murdoch tax lubricant out and bending over are well worth it.
Mind you, if I'd paid for Estomian football, I'd bloody well want to watch it wherever I was and sod what my IP address was. Having spent the last week fighting with "online" banking I can well understand the frustrations of 21st century expectations meeting 20th business models.
ooh, ooh, mods whilst we're at it, can we get shot of those "loud" adverts. When you've got umpteen tabs open and your laptop starts giving you the full surround sound experience it is bloody annoying.
Trust me, I've stories from London that are the same. People in power always fill their prams with toys so they can lob them about liberally. No names, no packs of razor blades in Oxfordshire fields.
> Ahahahaaaaaa... you have a female boss etc.
All I can muster is "Blimey." I can't believe someone actually thinks like that this side of Boko Haram.
I know nothing about this EU VAT malarkey but the existing VAT site is now a right PITA to use. Links you used to click on to get into the working parts now take you to some wanky.gov.uk vanity site which you immediately backtrack from because it doesn't do anything and you have to really dig about on the original site to get to the login page. What used to be a smart way to do your VAT return has degenerated into a "WTF did I do last time to get into this" mess.
I hate to burst your bubble, but anyone who's ever worked in a factory has known it was like this from the year dot and way before "big data" was a buzzword on a consultant's wall chart.
I remember a supervisor banging on the staff bog door screaming to the bloke behind it that he was taking too long to have a shit. So, all that's really happening is that the white collar brigade is being blue collared with big data replacing the more old fashioned big eyeball.
In the case of bankers I'd like to see them wearing collars and leashes and sniff each others' arses but they'd probably like that.
Osborne creates a "Google" tax the same day as "Brit smut slingers shafted by UK censors' stiff new stance" knackering one of Google's prime functions (looking at pr0n)
...dancing dad about having tech on your wrist. Think back to how "cool" it was to have a mobile or keys danging from your belt (yeah, I know, the other sysAdmins loved it). All it says is "please believe me that I'm important."
The bottom line with anything wearable is "you ain't gonna pull if you look like a fool" and a glow in the dark wrist is the height of twonkism. The only cool dude with wearable tech was the alien in Predator and look how pissed off he was at not getting laid.
It's got to be called the maxi pad...apologies Always!
Watching learners following satnav instructions has got to be award winning TV. The amount of times my satnav has told me to do a three point turn because it's driven me up a dead end/into a canal/ up a railway track is beyond measure. Not training learners how to turn around after their satnav has driven them into pedestrian precinct or whatever has got to be pure TV gold.
You have a user a point A, a datastore or datastores not at point A and a method of communication between A and not A and no matter how hard you try, you ain't gonna get away from that fundemental.
What we should be worrying about is security and speed (both in terms of development and user experience). I did "forms" for a bit in the late nineties and went all webby as soon as I could and now we're back to forms that are called apps with webby communications, but in the 15 odd years that's passed we're all still arguing the toss about how to connect to an effin datastore.
Maybe the corporates (MS, Apple et al), who seem determined to keep drilling their own glory holes to stick their knobs through, could come up with some shared economic and techno model that provides a foundation for us building stuff on top of. Interfaces are always going to change and that's the exciting bit, but I'm fed up of all this "this is the new messiah" way of development and the neo nazi methodology crap that gets flung around by people to try and cover the fact they haven't got a clue what they're doing. I like new shit which is why I like IT, but I know the difference between good shit and just plain shit. Rant over.
....must rush out and get an iPud and a copy of Canking Wopy to ount my opps on.
I'm working on an app that saves humanity from Ebola and has built in one click app development baked in, can I have some sales' space puleese dear Reg?
Same in Spain...middle of nowhara de effinos and brilliant call quality. I think UK cell cos are like UK supermarket chains...shiney presentation hiding medicore products.
The wordsmith is welcome south of the river anytime for a right Phileaing
I didn't have any of the 10, but my personal favs were a Nokia 8850* which seemingly was the most removed phone on the planet from people orifices due to it's strong vibrator** and 2 Haier phones, a penphone and a black pearl.
* taped to my iPaq and connected via IR, it meant I could look at the web on the train in 2001
** To confirm, I never used mine for any wet work.
...pity it doesn't work. When I look at pr0n or do social stuff I use the phone. When I watch telly, I use a tablet tethered to the phone. When I work, I use a laptop tethered to the phone. The phone is a hub, not an electronic swiss army knife.* Maybe if you could attach a proper keyboard, mouse and monitor to it and use it was a weeny processor box, we be talking sense, otherwise we're talking bollox. IMHO obviously.
* except in someone's wet dream.
I've got a 925 and I love it. Music is free and the TV app I got from the store for free is awesome (I can watch free live F1 in Russian or Spanish). Lucky I've got all you can eat data as a race is over a gig's worth of slurp. Satnav built in and a pukka camera. My GF has an iPhone 5s and it looks old fashioned and clunky and is as fast as a pensioner with a dodgy knee. We both hate it. I've got a Droid 4.1 tablet and I way prefer the Win 8.1 interface, so Master Troll sling yer hook.
Oh Christ, you mean get the gov's old mukka BT in to do some techy stuff....we're doomed!
Eadon 2.0 with shiny trousers on?
You will all die unless you buy our warez! Oh the Israeli salesman always lobs in "ex-spy" or "ex-military" because everyone does national service, so it's really true ;)
I presume "NITRO" and the reasons for it have more than one eye on the upcoming TV licence review
about how to screw a few schekels out of punters to keep the Beeb afloat....eeek!
and just use my mobile for everything now inc. my broadband connection. I've only ever had one call that needed barring in 9 months and that was from someone I knew. Currently typing this on my laptop tethered to my phone which running a 4G connection....lovely and for £28 per month all in. Another couple of years and having a landline will be about as cool as offering to send someone a fax.
Hand coded (using a SqlDataReader ) 47ms
Dapper ExecuteMapperQuery 49ms
ServiceStack.OrmLite (QueryById) 50ms
SubSonic CodingHorror 107ms
NHibernate SQL 104ms
Linq 2 SQL ExecuteQuery 181ms
Entity framework ExecuteStoreQuery 631ms
I fu**ing hate EF, but I love .Net MVC