Mostly agree

Agree, but only about Applets, and the quality of your average graduate.

Disagree with AC above "Reinventing the wheel". Actually, that's C and C++ devs who are paranoid of using APIs (rightly so, no-one wants to core).

Disagree with the sentiment in general about Java. It's mature, it's fast, it has excellent APIs and I've worked on many a scalable, stable, ultra low-latency and high throughput algo trading system built on it.

That's pretty awesome. Are you supposed to inform air traffic control or anything if doing this in the UK?

"Young and pretty, 'shows huge promise'"

Coffee-keyboard interaction. I blame excellently poor taste lurking on the front page

Any ideas how?

Obviously there's some common dodgy code lurking about creating this problem, but I can't for the life of me figure out how you'd go about coding something that copes with dates up to 2010, but gives 2016 for 2010.

I imagine finding this in the code:

if (year > 2009) {

year = 2016; // Lolz!!!11 Jokezorz

}

My attempt

Samba is flaky

Home Server makes Jesus cry

I'm off to the pub

"the same material used to put lead in your pencil"

All those nice people sending me emails about c1alis and v1agra will be enhappied with this news.

"Answer the social phone!"

Invoice for one new keyboard making it's way to 6 Consulting.

Re: Bring back the laptot!

Here here!

I thought we decided on this many moons ago?! I'd make a facebook group about this very thing, but unfortunately I start screaming and p***ing blood every time I go near the unholy device.

Spokesboffin

I have soiled myself mirth-wise.

Re: Using...

That's: Small (Extremely) Men to you and I.

Re: I hate Mondays

Popular-brand cola product ALL over my keyboard. Thanks.

"Spunk bubble"

Phenomenal. Just, phenomenal.

Again, it's actually...

laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot laptot.

Harsh

"often by children who disassemble the equipment – then stripped down and incinerated in the open air"

Those poor children

Utterly splendid

I don't know if you were the fire to compile such a matrix, but it's certainly the first I've seen.

Hats off to you, very useful. It's otherwise very difficult to digest the range of laptots in the market.

Keep this up to date and republish it often wouldja? I'd be forever endebted

Splendid

Cracking use of 'beezer' there Lewis.

Re: Yes, but

Just remember, it's still not as bad a Slashdot. *shudder*

If enough of us talk...

... I can slip out the back and head off to the Kings Arms. It is Friday after all (Isn't it?)

Gaw' blimey

I can still hear the 'kerKLUNK' of my Voodoo 1 3D add-on card kicking in. I swear the lights dimmed as well.

Elite

Brings a nostalgic tear to my aging eye...

<smug>

When you achieved it, your status was '- - - E L I T E - - -'

</smug>

Either...

" SCWRStock error '800a0006'

Overflow

/catalog/browse.asp, line 32 "

Either I've successfully hacked the mainframe, or the links for those books (or whatever lies at the other end) are shagged.

Re: rootkit?

... and her front!

*Mine's the one with drool down the front*

They're right...

"The banking industry would like to reassure its customers that sort code and bank account, national insurance number, date of birth, name and address details are not enough in themselves for an ID fraudster to access your bank account"

It's true. You have to actively pick up the phone and then SAY those bits of information to the person at the other end with your MOUTH.

Then and only then can the fraud be committed.

Ah yes

"the abduction of Madeleine McCann"

Umm, I hate to point out that even 'abduction' belies an assumption as nothing is yet proven. 'disappearance' could perhaps be a better word.

Could it be that you're using the word 'abduction' to make your point hard-hitting? :)

Damned journalists.