* Posts by ian

208 publicly visible posts • joined 20 Nov 2007

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El Reg drops in on Bletchley Park

ian
IT Angle

All help short of aid

If the buildings are listed its shameful that gov. have done nothing to maintain them. IT types to the rescue! Perhaps some sort of viral funding is in order.

Obama strumpet-sex scandal ruse spreads malware

ian

Exploit tagetting political conservatives?

An interesting idea. With a little research, I'm sure that it would be possible to target those with a given political orientation.

Would you be more or less likely to connect to a URL advertising negative information about your candidate?

Would you be more or less likely to connect to a URL advertising negative information about your candidate's opposition?

Political nastiness could reach a new level of... nastiness.

Ballerinas and fish-gutters beat techies in UK immigration race

ian
Linux

Why is Northern Ireland not listed?

Surely Northern Ireland has a shortage of ballerinas and a different demographic from Scotland and England. Or has devolution evolved so far?

Lest we forget, these isles have a penguin shortage.

Exposed: North Korea's taekwondo assassins

ian
IT Angle

WTF?

Can I be the first to ask how this relates to IT?

No? Allright then.

NASA chief blasts US space policy in leaked email

ian
Thumb Down

Rational?

Can anyone expect rationality from government twats who say "we make our own reality"? Perhaps NASA can harness the power of prayer to reach escape velocity (AKA "the rapture").

The sleep of reason produces born-again monsters.

China plans spacewalk by end of the month

ian
Paris Hilton

@16:39 AC "All your moonbase are ours..."

Re: "But the Chinese are in on the conspiracy too!"

That's all right then. But will they return with "proof" of the Apollo landings (to prove the Chinese claim) that will turn out to be not of this earth? Now that would be interesting!

Paris, because she is heavenly.

DNA database costs soar

ian

Good value for money

At a mere £2mil this database will save far more in halted/deterred crime. However I would have thought that any database worthy of the name would prevent duplicate records. Is there a good reason for permitting duplications?

Hadron boffins: Our meddling will not destroy universe

ian

"..another reassuring report which says that their machine will definitely not destroy the universe"

They would say that wouldn't they. They always do.

I'm concerned that this thing isn't built as a pentagram, to constrain the legions of hell that are sure to pour forth from the tear in space-time that it will create.

Homeland Security backs deportation with Wikipedia

ian
Alert

The internet isn't the source of all knowledge?

O'course not, that's the Bible. Ask The Most Powerful Man In The World (tm), George W. Bush! And if you don't believe him, ask Tony Blair!

Northrop in electric blaster cannon milestone

ian
Flame

Could be more trouble than its worth

When ships were made of wood (and men of iron), cannon shot were often heated red hot before firing at the French ^H^H^H^H^H^H enemy, in the hope that they would ignite the target. BTW, this is the source of "hot shot".

If the laser heated but didn't destroy the incoming shell, the result might be similar.

Concrete-jet 'printers' to build houses, Moonbases in hours

ian

Why send portland cement + water + gravel + sand to moon?

Current construction methods with styrofoam forms (heavy industrial stuff, not insulated cup variety), and foamed concrete would likely work in a vacuum, and be much lighter than the stuff delivered by lads with wheelbarrows.

Further, the Moon's lower gravity would allow for weaker materials to be self-supporting. However, would a shirt-sleeve environment (5psi atmosphere?) inside blow out the walls?

Still, a nice little lunar summer place would cost billions.

Customs raids tech trade show

ian
Alert

Achtung!

If you haff done notting wrong, you haff notting to fear.

Armed you say? Geeks are far more violent than I knew.

Portsmouth Historic Dockyard: Further poster outrage

ian
Happy

"we might have chosen the camera angle a little better"

No, no, this one's quite enough thanks.

US data breaches booming in '08

ian

47 megaIDs?

Brilliant! Nick each of them for 1 quid and retire to Brazil! They might not even notice. But can you nick each and every one? In fact, I suspect that it might take more than several lifetimes to nick less than 10 MIDs unless the task can be spread out over several accomplices or (best yet!) automated.

DARPA in Tom'n'Jerry robo-brain quest

ian

I call RoTM!

Surely there is some mistake! This is most definitely the beginning of the end (or is it the end of the beginning?).

Are we to be pounced upon by monstrous feline battle-bots, tossed in the air like playthings before expiring in pain and horror? Do DARPA not understand that cats are not controllable and learn other than what they are taught?

Visualize 50-tonne tanks with cat-like treads.

Royal Navy plans world's first running-jump jet

ian

Overshoot?

In fact overshoot during a vertical landing is possible and can result in a large, fuselage-shaped hole in the deck. I would expect to see the occasional vertical overshoot during heavy seas when the deck is rising and falling.

This would seem to be a good candidate for automation. I mean for avoiding the overshoot, not producing it. In any case, any landing that you can walk away from is a good landing.

Fart-lighting youth in petrol can mishap

ian
IT Angle

Anus flambee?

I asked myself, "Self, where is the IT angle in this?" Then I realized that this poor lad had received quite a lot of information. More information than he really wanted, I'm sure.

Boeing gets new raygun-on-a-lorry contract

ian
Boffin

What are we (they) talking about?

I'm not up on current solid-state laser diodes, but a shufti (google IS your friend) shows that 10W is considered "HIGH POWER". I can imagine a variable parabolic emitter with 10.000 of these, producing a beam of 100KW.

Given a system that can focus on and track a target the size and composition of a light mortar shell (cheap steel, 60mm diametre, optimal absorption), how long would it take such a system to heat such target to the point of detonation? I have no knowledge of explosives, but I assume it would take require a temperature greater than 232C (Fahrenheit 451 :-)) to detonate.

Is this time greater or less than the time-to-target of the mortar shell?

Extra credit for computing the delta-t from focussing on the target to the time of detonation.

ian

Don't lase me Bro!

I had to say that.

That is all.

NASA to brief on manned spaceship 'concerns'

ian

All your ISS are belong...

NASA management are dropping the ball again, as they have chosen to ignore existing, working technology (specifically the shuttle's SRBs and the huge external fuel tank). It wouldn't be (complicated) rocket science to put engines on the bottom of the external fuel tank and mount the capsule on top. With the SRBs attached to the sides, the payload to orbit of the stack would be enourmous. See http://jasonjeffrey.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/nasa-engineers-work-on-alternative-moon-rocket/

Arctic ice refuses to melt as ordered

ian

@Shawn

Erm, Shawn, I never mentioned AGW. Your comment seems to reflect what passes for reading comprehension nowadays. Global warming and AGW are two separate issues, but I would suspect that if you don't accept the data on GW, you won't accept the existence of AGW.

So you are a Bushie, then? Drunk the Kool-aid, have you?

ian

There is no global warming!

Global warming denial is pushed by GW (Global Warmer?) Bush and his petro-friends. That fact alone would cause me to mistrust anyone who claims to know the science better than the scientists. For you Tories, keep in mind that even Saint Thatcher believed that global warming was a threat.

For those of you mislead by Bush, see http://environment.newscientist.com/channel/earth/climate-change/dn14527-climate-myths-global-warming-stopped-in-1998.html?DCMP=ILC-hmts&nsref=specrt12_head_Still%20warming?

ian
Thumb Up

So the next ice age has started then?

We'll be ice skating on the Thames next, and immigrants will be walking across the ice from France.

Time to sell the vineyards in the English wine-making terroir, then I'm off to open a ski resort in Wales..

US judge says University can ignore Christian course credits

ian
Unhappy

Biology versus Intelligent Design

One of the states (Iowa or Kansas, I can't be arsed to remember which) has decided not to teach that pernicious claptrap, evolution.

More nutters preparing for the "end times" with their finger on the launch button.

Clone dog mistress denies she is 'sex in chains' McKinney

ian
Thumb Up

@Phil Staite

Thanks mate! The photos of the lass and her pit bull were just what I needed. Eh? What do you mean there was no pit bull photo?

NASA chief: ISS tests for super plasma space drive

ian

Is this a hybrid?

Based on the above comments, only space-hippies would settle for solar powered plasma. Real men drive nukular reacters.

A reactor can be put into orbit in bits and assembled there. Fuel rods are not dangerously radioactive when first manufactured. Besides, a 12MW reactor WILL require shielding after it once goes critical, and shielding is heavy.

How long to Proxima Centauri with this rig?

Why flying cars are better than electric ones

ian
Pirate

I'm not an aeromotive engineer...

..but I read recently that less than 1% of an auto engine's fuel is actually used to move the passengers, and that 99% is used by the engine in getting out of its own way (overcoming friction, sucking in oxygen, heating the atmosphere, etc.). I'd rather more research were put into correcting the internal combustion engine's terrible inefficiency than providing another Darwinian death trap for our specie's less adapted members.

Quantum porn engine foiled by strawberries and muffins

ian

Dark, Satanic software mills...

Keep them in the dark and feed them manure. It works for mushrooms, so it must work for coders.

Odd logic, that.

Only 'unlawful threats' would invalidate McKinnon extradition

ian

"Nations have no friends, only interests."

Currently, it is in the UK's interest to be attached to the U.S. The Spanish have an apt saying: "it's better to be a lion's tail than to be a mouse's head". Keep in mind that Britain is no longer mistress of the seas with an empire upon which the sun never sets, and is coasting on the wealth that empire extracted from subjugated peoples.

It's official: The Home Office is listening

ian

It's the yanks again

Is there any way we can blame the USAians for this? Surely we can find something.

'Series of tubes' senator indicted for false statements

ian

"I never >knowingly< made false statements..."

Yes, bend over, here it comes again. Obviously it was just an oversight. No doubt any proof of guilt will have been dumped over the side of his bridge to nowhere- soon to be renamed the bridge to freedom.

Like a bridge over troubled waters....

Extra-heavy minicopter 'Jetpack' astounds world+dog

ian
Black Helicopters

Cuil! erm... Cool!

And it won't toast my buns! I am a little apprehensive about the emergency parachute though. How do they avoid having the ducted fans ingest it?

Make mine black.

Boeing chuffed with latest raygun-jumbo ground tests

ian
Dead Vulture

One last thought....

I've assumed that this "weapon" was directed solely against ICBMs/IRBMS, but what if it was equally effective against fighter aircraft? And if it is effective against I*BMs, would it not be as effective against SAMs?

It all hinges on slew rate and effective radiance. Poulet frits, yum.

ian

Not for use against serious enemies

Given that a 747 has all the stealth characteristics of Buckingham palace, it will likely be used against Scud and Scud-derivative missiles used by 2nd and 3rd rate militaries such as Syria and Iran... Just good enough to field missiles, but not to have good air defenses. A bit like Iraq in the first Gulf war, after the HARMs and F118s had degraded the air defense system.

The Russians and the Chinese would not allow a great wallowing flying elephant like the ABL-equipped 747 too far into their air space.

ian

@Gary F - even more targeting problems

An incoming warhead is hard enough to target, but it might be surrounded by decoys, further complicating the problem.

I think ABL is intended to attack ICBMs during the boost phase, when all of the warheads can be caught at once. However, this requires that the 747 be within a few hundred kilometres of the missile- likely making the 747 an inviting target itself.

Russians probe depths of Lake Baikal

ian

Recycling?

Good of the Russians to recycle the name "Mir"- over and over again. Do they also save on newsprint and letterhead by doing this? In any case they could have had a deeper dive if Baikal were not drying up due to Soviet river diversion projects back in the last century (that would be the 20th for those who haven't been keeping up).

Branson unveils Virgin Galactic mothership

ian
Flame

“80% of what you learn” about the aircraft to emerge on its first flight

There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, but there are no old, bold pilots. -- old pilot's saying.

If I understand the "80%" comment, Rutan is leaving out a lot of design work. Do Airbus and Boeing slap parts together and call the result an aircraft? Bold, indeed!

The "crash & burn" icon for good measure.

Motorola splits business into three parts

ian
Thumb Up

Motorolia est omnis divisa in partes tres

It had to be said. Ave Caesar!

Doctors: Third babies are the same as patio heaters

ian
Pirate

The Black Death

Historically, a shrinking population has done the survivors good. The Black Death in the 13th century carried off about 30% of the population of Europe, leaving the rest 30% wealthier.

When the missus and I shuffle off, we will leave our tykes a bit more by having less of them. And we won't have needed an act of God to do it.

SpaceShipOne firm to build DARPA's Heliplane

ian

GIT - a propitious name

They might have sent the thing to Texas' Sam Houston Institute of Technology.

But what is the deeper meaning of America's move to failed technology from Blighty? As I recall, this design was from the start of Britain's decline as a world-beating engineering power- does this mean that America is entering a similar death-spiral?

Irate sysadmin locks San Francisco officials out of network

ian

A bastard operator perhaps...

... but NOT a bastard operator from hell! In any case, he's a tosser for 1) losing a (very) gainful position, and 2) doing it in a way that will disqualify him from employment for life.

Still, the lad's got style.

Want a new career as a contract killer?

ian
Pirate

Looking for an assasin?

Look no further: see anunciame.com.mx/a30459-sicario_asesino_sueldo.html.

Of course your intended victim must live in Mexico...

Chinese earthquake hack scammer jailed

ian
Thumb Up

"has being"?

A bit more attention to proof reading, please el Reg.

Will the perp be required to surrender a kidney, or other important organs to the glorious people's revolution?

Singapore forum 'scammer' faces caning and prison

ian
Unhappy

Ah, the sun has not yet set on the Empire

...When we can still put in a bit of stick. However, the standard we set for the world has been in decline for some time.

Captain to man with whip in boat: "Why have you stopped?"

Man with whip: "He's dead, Sir!"

Captain: "you have your orders. He's to be whipped through the fleet. Get on with it or you will take his place!"

Man: "Aye aye Sir!"

You will rarely see such a scene nowadays.

Spain plans 'human rights' for great apes

ian
Thumb Up

@Steve

"When we talk about inhumane treatment of animals, it's not the animal that isn't being treated enough like a human, it's the person dealing out the maltreatment who is failing to act enough like a human being."

Well said!

Dutch government gags Oyster researchers

ian
Coat

Next time, keep your gob shut and exploit the vuln

Obviously we're dealing with a lot of ostriches here. Given enough vulnerabilities, and a bit of intelligence on the discoverers part, the best things in life CAN be free.

The pick-pocket's icon for obvious reasons.

Could pen-sized GPS jammers paralyse UK shipping?

ian

NaN - Not a Navigator

While I'm not a navigator, and only use GPS rarely and in a safe manner, I do wonder if LORAN and Decca couldn't be upgraded in a way that would make them compatible with existing kit.

And yes, I agree that multiple redundancy for something as important as navigation is important, certainly now that the Chinese have shown themselves willing and able to bash satellites.

Boffins: Roadrunner hypercomputer could drive a car

ian

Whats in a name

Yes, the name "Roadrunner" may not inspire fear NOW, but just wait a bit.

OTOH, if Roadrunner's audio output units suddenly powered up and said "Call me... MASTER!", I for one would immediately welcome our over-weight over-lord.

DARPA pilot-ware unflappable in wing-fling damage test

ian

Amazing!

I'm happy the firmware was able to land with no casualties... However, I've seen WWII photos of bombers that lost more control surfaces and still returned to base (unlike some of the fleshie crew),

Sharp pitches 'world's largest' LCD screen

ian
Unhappy

Just what I wanted

To be able to watch crap-o-vision in eye-filling surroundo-view! For a mere fortune!

Oh God, we're doomed (with hyphens).

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