1723 posts • joined Monday 19th November 2007 22:51 GMT
oh. em. ef. GEE.
Just checked out this clown's site on your recommendation, and holy fuckin' shit. "Bollocks" isn't the word for this zaniness. I haven't seen a load of balloon juice this unhinged since I saw the Time Cube page.
Ironically, he has a section for "satire".
Oh, man, that's fucking priceless.
Even though it's about London hipsters, all you'd have to do is switch out the references to San Francisco or Brooklyn/Williamsburg.
Looks like NAFTA's really working...
"...A hospital handyman turned thief exposed neighbours in a Cuidad Juárez neighbourhood to radiation poisoning for months starting in December 1983 after he stole an unmarked capsule from an obsolete radiotherapy machine that contained a dangerous batch of Cobalt-60.
Much of the contamination ended up on a local junkyard and the whole mess was only discovered after contaminated steel was shipped from local factories to the US..."
Nuclear detonation icon because, well, y'know, radiation.
Facebook and... Etsy?
Oh, Christ. We are in such trouble.
Lord Bong of #businessmodel?
Wasn't that a character in an old Monty Python sketch?
Or, am I confusing him with Kevin Phillips-Bong?
What's the goddamn' deal with Microsoft's marketing zombies?
Are they really entirely incapable of learning from mistakes at all?
First the singing, dancing, clapping chorus lines at Microsoft shops at the shopping malls, then the Microsoft Morris Dancers, now this. What is the goddamn' deal with Microsoft's marketing types? I mean, it's not like anybody's putting a gun to their heads to get them to sign off on stuff like this. They come up with some crass, oily excuse for a marketing campaign, are laughed out of the place, and then they're back again later with something even more crass and oily?
Do they really have the memories of houseflies? Do they really think coming back with the same crassness and oiliness will produce different results? Are they consciously, proudly, gleefully stupid? What's the goddamn' deal?
Re: How do they know whose photo it is?
That sounds like a fiendishly clever idea.
But why stop there? Why not upload a foto of Steve Ballmer, or Marissa Myer, or Steve Jobs, or Carly Fiorina, or Mark Zuckerberg?
Or, even better... what if every G+ non-user uploaded a frame of that "Leave Britney Alone" guy? Mwoooaaahhh ha ha ha ha ha haaahhhh...
Oh, cripes, not another paradigm
"...US outfit Makerbot is eyeing a world domination plan to get its 'Replicator 2' into schools, in order to 'change the whole paradigm of how our children will see innovation and manufacturing in America'."
Looks like they're a little late for that. Our children have already seen the whole paradigm of "innovation" and manufacturing in America for the past three or four generations now.
Btw, am I the only one here who thinks these clowns would be utterly lost if they were forbidden to use the words "paradigm", "innovate" and "ecosystem"?
Re: Tito's pitch. Mars version of Apollo 8 for about $700m of NASA money.
Well, not exactly Apollo 8. See my previous comment up the thread a ways, about the Apollo 8 decision -- basically, that a mere flyby/free-return flight would be a waste of time and effort, and that an orbital mission would be more useful for many reasons.
Re: A Wasteful Stunt
Well said, an excellent answer to the old "we could better spend that money on Earth" wheeze -- especially when you consider the actual percentage of the US annual budget spent on space exploration, something like 2%, or something ridiculous like that, the last time I looked.
There are all sorts of valid reasons that can be used to justify sending humans into space, and to other worlds, but I think the one that's not nearly emphasized enough is that it should be a biological imperative, something which could insure the survival of humanity if something catastrophic should happen to Earth. Even if we take the best care possible of the natural environment, hug the trees and all that jazz, it could only take one good hit from an errant asteroid to instantly trash the whole thing for us.
Re: What a silly thing to do
As I recall, when the Apollo 8 decision was made, they decided right up front that a simple flyby wouldn't have been worth the risk or effort, and that if they were going to all the work to do a lunar flight, they should go ahead and do a lunar orbital mission since they were going to have to test their service module engine for the return trip, anyway... not to mention all the deep-space navigation systems and such.
But, yeah... hell, if you're going to go to all the risk and effort to get your ship to Mars, you might as well spend at least a couple of weeks in orbit and do some recon photography, drop a few atmospheric probes, do some radar mapping and meteorology... you know, get some actual work done instead of "whoa, cool, check that out -- d'ahh, hell, it's over.".
Pretty much anytime works for me...
...but it amazes the hell out of my wife when I sometimes brew a fresh half-pot after dinner.
I brew a fresh pot in the morning, for both of us, and if there's any left by noon or 1pm-ish, I'll drink it over ice with a little squirt of chocolate syrup stirred in.
A nice cold brewski, for the times when I'm not drinking coffee.
At last, free labor!
So, is Motorola at last too damn' cheap to pay Indonesian girls $4 a day -- or whatever godawful wages they're getting -- to build their goddamn' phones?
Anonymity is the enemy of...
SPPPHBBLLRRRRTTT BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHH
Re: Is he related to a certain Iraqi?
The delicious irony is that the situation did indeed turn out to be excellent... just not for the Bush Mob.
They wrote the book on getting things done, alright...
...I believe it was Catch 22... or maybe it was One Hundred Years Of Solitude.
"...If the passwords were cracked, perhaps by using rainbow tables to look for leaked hashes that corresponded with weak passwords, it might have been possible to upload false earning warnings or similar fake news in order to manipulate stock prices and profit from the resulting confusion.
Thankfully, there is no evidence that anything like this has happened..."
Re: USA! USA!! USA!!!
"Commercial speech is free speech..."
Sorry, but that should be spelled S-P-E-A-C-H, "speach".
At least, that was the official spelling among the busted spammers whining on news.admin.net-abuse.email back in the old days.
Re: This is the best they could come up with?
Actually, I also get Google pestering me for my mobile phone number occasionally, although I've also noticed that way down at the bottom of the page, in tiny type so they'll hope you miss it, is a link reading "no, thanks".
But, yeah, seriously, cold day in Hell.
Wow, sounds like a big, fat...
That is all.
Re: No ISO?
"Is MSFT actively trying to irritate its users?"
You're probably one of several zillion users of any OS or software these days who are asking this question about pretty much every OS or software vendor.
My friends and I used to joke about this several years ago, but nowadays I'm pretty much firmly convinced that yes, Microsoft, Adobe, et. al are actively engaged in a competition to see who can be the biggest pain in the ass to their customers.
Re: upgrade schmupgrade
"My 'big telly' is a 28"CRT. Why don't I upgrade? Because the tv shows are so compressed that they are full of artifacts ( although, spookily, the adverts are not )..."
My wife and I were over at the daughter'n'son-in-law's place for Thanksgiving a couple of years ago, and we were checking out their new digital flatscreen set, and the "crunchiness" was appalling, more artifacts than you could shake a stick at. It was like watching YouTube.
Crack wise if you want...
"..perhaps this explains the rise in sales of 'connected' TVs - faced with channel after channel of rubbish on their dumb panel TVs, the customer can now go and buy a smart TV. And watch cat videos..."
...but compared to most of the shit on TV these days, the cat videos are positively scintillating.
You read my mind
Every report I've seen in the Reg on this topic seems to focus on why people are buying fewer TV sets in terms of what kind of hardware is most or least popular, and manufacturers responding by producing sets with more blingy, gee-whizzy crap, while ignoring the proverbial elephant in the room: the quality of actual televised content getting crappier almost by the day.
We have a satellite subscription at our house; the box is hooked up to the "main" TV in our bedroom, a 24" flat-view CRT we got about seven or eight years ago (we have a small flatscreen digital set in the kitchen where we watch OTA DTV while making dinner and such). The old saw about "400 channels and nothing's on" is pretty much the solid truth, based on what I see when I swing by the bedroom and catch my wife flipping through the channels -- pretty much every channel infested with reality shows, Top Chef knockoffs, and Law'n'Order reruns; even the BBC America channel seems overrun with that crap these days. The news channels are more like "noise channels"; ironically, the only news channel where we can actually find out what's going on in the world is Al Jazeera, which launched an American service recently.
It's been over a decade since I bothered to actually make time to watch a current TV show on an actual TV set. When Mystery Science Theater 3000 was cancelled in '99, that was pretty much it for me. About the only stuff I watch these days is Arrested Development (via Netflix on the wife's laptop) and old episodes of MST3K (on DVD or as mpeg4's, on my laptop).
The rest, these days, is pretty much pure crap, both on satellite/cable, and OTA.
Paging Claude Rains...
I'm shocked -- SHOCKED -- to discover that the cold-calling tech-support scammers have branched out to Macs.
Meanwhile, only tangentially related... I found a spam voice mail on my mobile phone from some clown with an Indian accent so thick you could cut it with a knife, informing me that he'd found some issues with my Windows 7 system and offering his "help" -- pretty astounding considering we only have Macs at our house.
Re: I'd love to believe this article isn't a scam...
"If you have a Mac then they already know you are gullible......"
D'ahh, bite me. Sorry I can't come up with a more articulate response right now, especially as I have a college degree, but right now the only appropriate response I can come up with at the moment is just bite me.
M'eh. Call me old-fashioned, but...
...I just want to be able to check and see what goddamn' time it is.
Re: "voluntary solutions"?
"...And maybe they should stop assuming that spending hundreds of millions of dollars on a single film will rake in the moolah. Make the films cheaper, and charge less for cinema tickets, DVD and Blu-Rays and see what that does for legal consumption."
And maybe they should also -- all together now -- stop making movies that SUCK.
The silver lining in all of this
"…if we discover material inaccuracies in our user metrics" - which is to say, the metrics used to guess how many Twitter accounts are fakes - "our reputation may be harmed and advertisers and platform partners may be less willing to allocate their budgets or resources to our products and services..."
Meaning... fewer "sponsored tweets" polluting my feed? Just sayin'.
In respect to tradition, part of me wants to go with either the El Reg Red or the British Racing Green.
James Micallef, a ways up the thread, suggests that the British Racing Green would be boring, but as an American, I have to say it'd be a damn' sight classier than the standard American Flaming Searing Day-Glo Racing Orange (aka "Daytona Orange").
I'm not really up on my British rocketry, but the Blue Streak suggestion sounds good... and as an old spaceflight history geek and "B" sci-fi movie fan, the suggestion of silver also has a lot of merit -- and visibility. In the same vein, something similar to the various color schemes used for the captured V2 tests at White Sands, such as this one and this one, might also work well.
Still, for easy visibility, I don't think you could do much better than no. 3, the bright yellow with black longitudinal stripes, perhaps with the round El Reg Vulture "badge" logo on the tail and wings.
Love the commentary on the video
"...wow, I can feel the heat in here! ...oh, that's a Tesla, dude! ...oohhhhhh, shit...!"
Re: Facebook's world-class algorithms.
When I first opened my FB account, I gave it totally bogus info, of course -- fake name (the nom de plume I use on my cartoons), fake birthday, fake place of birth, fake place of residence -- and left things like where I went to school, where I work, and my favorite films/music/books entirely blank.
FB thinks I'm a thirty-five year-old woman who was born in Cairo and lives in Tripoli. My ad column is full of pitches for fashions and cosmetics, almost entirely in Arabic. Friggin' hilarious.
Re: You wouldn't die from a trip to Mars.
"...There's a lot of FUD about travel to Mars going around, apparently spread by the people hell-bent on having a moon base instead (I've never understood why - there's nothing on the Moon, no raw materials, no life, nothing. The appeal of Luna is that it's close and easy to reach, which aren't good reasons to go there, much less spend 300 billion on a base)..."
As someone who firmly believes we should get our asses to Mars, I think a lunar base would be important as a test bed for many of the technologies we'd need to perfect before going to Mars -- plus there's the added advantage of Earth only being a couple of days' travel away, and within range of near-real-time voice/video communication if something went seriously south.
Plus, there's the potential usefulness of a lunar base as a way station. A lunar base as an end-all-be-all wouldn't be such a hot idea, but as a test bed and a stepping stone, it could be very useful if done right.
Re: Only now?
Actually, the "selfies" were important both from an engineering standpoint -- in order to inspect the rover -- and to determine its situation in relation to its general surroundings.
Of course, the fact that they also looked really cool was an added bonus. That huge high-res mosaic self-portrait that they shot with the hand-lens imager really knocked my socks off.
When I first set up my YouTube channel...
...I decided to default to not allowing comments or video responses, and to disable comments and video responses on every piece I upload, for the reasons mentioned by most comments above. As an experiment once, I tried allowing comments on a video I uploaded, and quickly changed my mind as I didn't have the time or inclination to waste time scraping all the flamage, inanities, racist trollage and dating site spam which appeared almost instantly in my comment columns. I originally set up my channel as a place to make my work as a "citizen journalist" available for viewing, not as a soapbox for retarded trolls and racist loons. I know that's not very "Web 2.0" of me, but it's my friggin' space, so bite me.
As nasty and useless as most Web comment pages can be, YouTube is pretty much rock bottom. The YouTube comment sections are like the WWW equivalent of a dank, grubby, shabby dive biker bar with bloodstains on the floor, knife nicks on the bar, and a hallway that smells like piss and stale beer leading to rest rooms with non-functioning toilets and wastebaskets full of used condoms and syringes.
A business model that's the envy of other industries...
Treat your customers like shit, bully them around, and when they complain, throw them off the flight or have them arrested for some trumped-up "disruptive behavior".
The CEOs of corporations in other lines of business must be madly envious of the air travel industry.
Re: Affordability my arse
Speaking as a non-chemist -- but an old spaceflight geek -- polycarbonate is also the stuff they make pressure suit helmets out of with, as I recall, a similar molding process.
An unlocked version for -- fi-fi-fi-fi...
...five hundred and forty-nine goddamn' dollars? For the cheaper, plastic case version?
Splurrrrt cough cough cough cough.
You bastards, I just cleaned off this keyboard after reading the Canadian Family Living In 1986 story.
awright, good old Airfix
As an old Army brat who did two stints in Germany when Dad was sent there in the '60s, I actually became familiar with Airfix models long before building Revell kits like my pals back in the States. I got to build models of a wider range of aircraft of types not available from Revell -- Spitfires, MiGs, Hawks, Mirages...
Nice to see you're another one of those guys who built his fighter models with "gear up" in flight configuration and hung them from the ceiling. "...going fast, so it's not got its wheels out..." Damn, straight, dude; when you're cracking Mach 2, you don't want your gear down. In a room whose walls were painted white, light fishing line worked wonders. While a young pre-teen in the late '60s, the airspace over my bedroom desk often played host to mock dogfights between MiGs and F100s.
"transfers - a very fiddly way of acquiring a saucer full of torn, multi-coloured flecks of something considerably more fragile than tissue paper, and less likely to adhere to a coat of paint than powdered teflon..."
It took me several years to really get the hang of applying decals. The worst were the ones that came with my dragster models -- all those little logos for STP, Castrol, Shell, Cragar, Firestone, etc. that you see splattered all over the sides of racing cars -- but a couple of years of practice on those prepared me for laying the insignias onto the surface of a model F4 Phantom.
"...polystyrene cement - a material used to securely attach newspapers, tables, model boxes, etc., to models (but, incapable of securing a rotor head to a small Airfix Mi 24 "Hind")..."
That took me several years' practice, too, getting just the right amount of glue on the part, and improvising a temporary brace from those plastic racks that all the parts were attached to, to hold the part in the right position until the glue set. Attaching parts like propellers drove me nuts -- really small attachment points with not a lot of surface area for adhesion.
Seriously, man... what's the catch?
Just reading all the comments about the "free" phone with a paid-for service contract, vis-a-vis inkjet printers -- and speaking of which: yeah, I'm down with that, bud. My wife and I have DeskJets which we got as "you gets" when she bought her iBook and I bought my G4 tower; that's basically how cheap HP DeskJets are now, but the cartridges -- cripes, man, they cost more than the friggin' printer.
"+1 on the CD's, they were prevalent in the early 80's.
And in 1986, you could have a C64, Amiga, Atari ST, 386 PC with EGA running Windows, dial into a BBS, have an analogue laser disc, drive a Sierra Cosworth.."
See my comment a little further down, past the jump.
If this family really wanted to take a crack at living without "modern" technology, 1986 is a pretty weak-assed choice. They should at least try for an era with no CDs, no PCs, no VCRs, no big-screen analog TVs, no cable/satellite TV... perhaps bend the rules a bit by scoring one of those DTV converter boxes to hook up to a mid '70s vintage Trinitron TV set, if they can find one in working order -- but restrict viewing to one of those DTV channels that runs nothing but '60s/70s shows.
D'ahhh, these kids today
I went to high school and college in the 1970s, and those seemed ilke pretty far-out gee-whiz high-tech days at the time. I distinctly remember my Dad's needling from time to time about how spoiled I was by jet propulsion and CinemaScope and color TV and stereophonic sound and pocket calculators and solid-state electronics.
hey, waitaminnit... no CDs?
There's a big "d'ohh", right there. As I recall, the first reissues of pop albums on CD was around 1983 or '84ish. Dire Straits' Brothers In Arms (1985) was not only released on CD, but was also the first all-digitally-recorded album.
Living without computers is a bit off-base as well; while the Internet as we know it was five or six years off, there was a fairly sizeable penetration of personal computers into homes; the IBM PC/compatibles had been on the market since at least 1980, and Macs had been available since 1984.
Also... stop me if I'm wrong, but wasn't the first generation of cellular phones hitting the market around '86 as well?
In a way, I can kind of dig why they're doing this, but it doesn't seem as if they've done any proper research into what technology was actually available in 1986... and, still, this whole thing smacks of publicity gimmick; a lot of other posters here are right to suspect that all this balloon juice is aimed toward a TV show/book deal. I just hope the guy puts his money where his mouth is, and writes his book in DOS WordPerfect, or MacWrite 2.0.
Never mind decent 4K content...
...it's be nice to have decent content, period. I won't speak for the UK, but here in the Colonies it's pretty much wall-to-wall cookie-cutter reality shows as far as the eye can see, aside from the worse-than-worthless noise channels... uhh, news channels -- and the wife and I just can't see throwing down that stonking pile of cash for a TV set the size of Colorado just so she can watch Gordon Ramsay reaming out some failing restauranteur in glorious 4K.
Luckily, most of what I enjoy, like Arrested Development and MST3K, doesn't require useless gobs of resolution. They're still great shows no matter what you watch them on.
Re: Holy Remind Me Of GeoCities Batman!
Thanks to your post, so have I. Christ, that's dull. The new logo looks positively lost, man... not to mention more friggin' purple than I can stand.
Re: Blue sequel to 50 Shades of Grey?
"they're testing 41 shades between each blue to see which one performs better"
Ouch, my brain just exploded.
Granted, as a designer, I spend lots of time with clients hashing out which colors work on a logo or "identity" piece, but, still... their search engine is shit, their Web site is shit, their new groups/email interface is shit, the company's circling the drain, and Little Marissa is babbling about which shade of blue "performs better"?
Cripes, somebody tie me to a railroad track.
Speaking as a professional designer...
...with twenty years' combined experience with FreeHand and Illustrator, and another ten years pre-digital -- that's got to be the most mundane, boring-assed logo I've ever seen, and I've seen lots of boring-assed shit in my time.
What's worse is all the banal babbling coming out of Little Marissa. Referring to that load of horseshit as "marketing bollocks" gives the term "bollocks" a bad name.