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* Posts by Simon Rockman

316 posts • joined 17 Nov 2007

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Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)

Simon Rockman
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Re: A years supply?

That's some going. Cocoa Runners includes very rich chocolate in the packs.

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Auntie hires API firm to manage new online BBC Store

Simon Rockman
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Re: Canada calling. Where can I send in my License Fee?

You send it to a UK VPN company.

Really, this whole business of media companies thinking they can chop the world up into territories is a failing battle.

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Vanmoof Electrified Bike: Crouching cyclist, hidden power

Simon Rockman
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Re: Only 15 mins faster not 30 mins!

Yes, exactly. I often take 5 mins at the bottom of the hill before tackling it.

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Simon Rockman
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Re: Only 15 mins faster not 30 mins!

Because I go both ways. Twice 15 mins is 30.

Simon

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Simon Rockman
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Re: HTFU ^ -1

Mort, yes I know. Getting a bike which fits me is on my to-do list.

Simon

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Jaguar Sportbrake: The chicken tikka masala of van-sized posh cars

Simon Rockman
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Re: Channelling Troy Queef?

Guilty as charged.

When I tell people that I review cars they say "You want to be Jeremy Clarkson", and I always reply "No, I want to be Troy Queef".

Simon

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US astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson: US is losing science race

Simon Rockman
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Re: " Carl Sagan's former student "

Hey, I met Sagan once.

Just saying...

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Payment security vastly improved when you DON'T ENTER your BANK DETAILS

Simon Rockman
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This is quite common with online sites

I've used it with voicepay and the excellent stripe.com

Simon

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You like jumping out of planes? Try the new GoPro 4. Short walks? There's a Hero instead

Simon Rockman
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The Fiesta review http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/09/20/review_ford_fiesta_black/

used a GoPro on a drone.

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Reg hands portable Sinclair ZX Spectrum to lucky compo winner

Simon Rockman
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Although given that you've registered to post that, we've yours too.

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Kenyan court case could sound death knell for mobile money

Simon Rockman
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Unusually, in this case. Yes. Because if banks stop telcos from doing mobile money then no-one will do it because the banks are not interested in the poor people the telcos are serving unless the telcos are serving them.

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Range Rover to fit trendy new SUV with FRIKKIN' LASER HUDs

Simon Rockman
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Self driving cars

I was going to post something here but thought it better put in the Forum

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Simon Rockman
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Re: Patriotic?

I have to say that's exactly what I thought as I wrote it. But there was enough piss taking without that.

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Self Driving cars

Simon Rockman
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Self Driving cars

As a committed petrol head I like the idea of self-driving cars.

It would mean I could drive somewhere, drink and have the car drive home.

Simon

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A spin of roulette in the sporty Ford Fiesta Black

Simon Rockman
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Depreciation

My 21 year old Merc is at least flat on depreciation and maybe even increasing in value. It's just had an MOT. The only thing it needed was a new tyre and there was an advisory on one seat belt.

OK, so it does a third of the MPG of the Fiesta and is much slower, and not nearly as much fun.

Simon

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Freshly uploaded EU digi-Czar is CLUELESS ON TECH but it's no big deal, says Steelie Neelie

Simon Rockman
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Maybe he's a hologram like Rimmer.

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Israeli spies rebel over mass-snooping on innocent Palestinians

Simon Rockman
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I think the story here is

Spies, spy.

It's what GCHQ and NSA do. It's their job and I never understand why people are surprised by this.

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Shades of Mannesmann: Vodafone should buy T-Mobile US

Simon Rockman
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Re: Slightly confused history

Lots of points, some of which I agree with, some of which I don't.

Yes, the IPO of Deutsche Telekom led to an acquisition spree, and yes the people who benefited most from the pass-the-parcel with Orange were the original shareholders - principally Hutchinson. But the reason the price was so high was that Mannesmann bought Orange not as commercial enterprise but as a poison pill. Vodafone would have bought Mannesmann anyway as it was on a (European) expansion drive. They did all kinds of things to hype the Voda share price which they including talking bollocks about near term value of mobile data.

I take your point on the dowry, but even so Airtouch was a good deal financially if not in terms of "The sun never setting on the Vodafone empire".

But the main thing you are missing is that DT is comitted to selling T-Mobile US.

Simon

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Simon Rockman
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Re: Outlook: fine

Vodafone leaving the money it made from Verizon in the US might have significant benefits in the eyes of the regulators.

The alternative is that they spend it with Scandinavian and Asian companies on infrastructure for other parts of the world.

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Who us, SHARE infrastructure? Networks reject gov proposal

Simon Rockman
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If the sharing was compulsory (as is proposed) who monitors the inter-network costs? What's to stop the network with the coverage ripping off the other networks like crazy when they are obliged to use it? Who monitors the charging? Ofcom? Yeah, right.

Do it at a reasonable roaming rate and it rapidly becomes easier to not build in poor areas as you lose any advantage.

Simon

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Ferraris, Zondas and ... er, a bike with a 500hp V10 under the saddle

Simon Rockman
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Re: Owning a Supercar...maybe 'seemed a good idea at the time'?

I think that's why events like Salon Prive exist. It's somewhere you can take your supercar, where you won't spend the whole time worrying about it.

Simon

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Simon Rockman
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Re: I don't know much about big engines

I asked the builder/owner about this, and he said yes, he can only ride it in leathers.

Simon

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Chumps stump up $1 MEELLLION for watch that doesn't exist

Simon Rockman
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Re: kickstarter

There are other equity based crown funding sites. Seedrs and CrowdCube spring to mind.

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One step closer to ROBOT BUTLERS: Dyson flashes vid of VACUUM SUCKER bot

Simon Rockman
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My Roomba has never found its way home

It gets lost in the middle of the kitchen and bleeps plaintively.

It's not very good as a cleaner but makes an excellent alarm clock.

Simon

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Finally, a practical use for 3D printing: Helping surgeons rehearse

Simon Rockman
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Re: "The company doesn’t currently produce models from ultrasound,....

Hmm none of those links lead to anyone who actually offers the service. They are either dead links or stories about companies which claim to do it.

Simon

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The Register Monopoly Pubcrawl Mobile Map: VODAFONE VICTOR in LONDON

Simon Rockman
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We tested Fenchurch but when we looked at the data it was suspect and so in the interests of rigour it was disregarded. I'll as Dr Carter to expand on this in his live chat.

Simon

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Huawei: 'Tizen has no chance', Windows Phone is 'difficult'... it's Android all the way

Simon Rockman
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Re: Let me guess why networks want Tizen

No, it's because they think that Google and Apple are stealing apps revenue from them. This ignores the networks (other than NTT DoCoMo) having had a five year run at apps and having screwed it up.

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Bright lights, affordable motor: Ford puts LED headlights onto Mondeo

Simon Rockman
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Re: "Slim headlamps can make a vehicle’s exterior appear more determined and aggressive"

A lower profile can also reduce the damage an impact does to pedestrians.

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Roll up for El Reg's 3G/4G MONOPOLY DATA PUB CRAWL

Simon Rockman
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Re: All I know is....

When you use data to a level where you are stress testing the network with multiple threads and doing it all day you find that even the most generous fair usages policies can kick in. Managing this was a major undertaking.

Simon

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Simon Rockman
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Re: Interesting, but....

[Satire]* We used Samsungs not Apples

*http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/08/18/facebook_experiments_with_satire_tag/

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Simon Rockman
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Re: Do not pass Go

Pentonville

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I don't see dead people: Twitter to nix some images of deceased folk

Simon Rockman
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I wish LinkedIn would do this

It keeps asking me if I know Guy Kewney.

Simon

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UK mobile coverage is BETTER than EVER, networks tell Ofcom

Simon Rockman
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Re: Independent Survey?

An Independent Reg survey?

Sounds like a plan. Actually one we already have well underway. Watch this space.

As a mark of comparison while Ofcom reports 98.9% Call completion rates, fixed lines are touted as offering "five nines" availability, that is 99.999%

Simon

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Chinese Bitcoin farms: From scuzzy to sci-fi

Simon Rockman
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Bitcoin isn't looking bubble-like anymore. The price has been pretty stable for the last six months.

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LOHAN acquires aircraft arboreal avoidance algorithm acronyms

Simon Rockman
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It's not just LOHAN

Trees attract kites too. I used to work in a kite shop and saw a number of mangled kites on a regular basis.

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Stalwart hatchback gets a plug-in: Volkswagen e-Golf

Simon Rockman
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Re: "The e-Golf is the first Volkswagen to have LED headlights"

Quite. The Audi Matrix stuff is very impressive.

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Cor blimey: Virgin Media pipes 152Mb fibre to 100,000 East Londoners

Simon Rockman
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Virgin is not quite uncapped

I had a rogue bitcoin miner that was for some reason I never got to the bottom of, hammering the upload bandwidth and Virgin capped me.

I even had an engineer call.

The email discussions got quite technical and I was promised a copy of the capping guidelines but this never arrived. I upgraded to new mining hardware and the problem has gone away.

This was all as a regular £60+ a month customer on the 120Mb package, not as a writer on The Reg.

Simon

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Fiat Panda Cross: 'Interesting-looking' Multipla spawn hits UK

Simon Rockman
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Yes, sorry, my fault. The back seats do fold flat.

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Simon Rockman
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Re: 80 bhp?

That depends on what it weighs.

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Trying to sell your house? It'd better have KILLER mobile coverage

Simon Rockman
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BT won't tell you where they have 300mbps broadband

They have a checker on the site which tells you want you can get at a location but not where you need to be to get the top speed.

I tried quite hard, the online chat person didn't know - I had to explain the question several times as he kept on saying "just type your postcode into the box", and eventually he gave me a number to call where I was on hold for half an hour before the person who answered said there was no way to get the information I was after.

Simon

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June Whitfield and EE to old folk: Would you like a nice cup of tea and some internet, dear?

Simon Rockman
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I rather think we are in a bubble of techieness

I'm 50, grew up on C=64s, BBC Bs and CPCs. When I was a kid there we eighty different computer magazines in WH Smiths all teaching coding.

There may be Raspberry Pi and Scratch today but that's niche.

It's not just seniors who struggle with technology, it's kids too.

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Simon Rockman
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A very smart guy from Orange was on the standards board which arrived at the mini-USB connector. The standard does allow for a barrel connector but no-one has implemented it.

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What the world needs now is... a Bluetooth-enabled baby's dummy

Simon Rockman
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The problem I see with this is..

If it's completely sealed you don't have a little hole in the teat. And if you don't have a little hole how can it work as a pacifier? I mean, how do you get the whisky inside?

Simon

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BlackBerry claims ugly duckling Passport mobe is a swan in the offing

Simon Rockman
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one of the issues Blackberry will have..

Is selling it in. The channel is stuffed with Z10s. I bumped into my local phone dealing in the street tonight and he said he'd been offered them at silly money but would have to take huge quantities to get the price. He's only got a couple of small shops. I does however mean he won't touch Blackberry at all as he knows the big boys will beat him on price.

The channel in the meantime won't touch the Passport until they have cleared the Z10s.

Simon

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F1? No, it's Formula E as electric racing cars hit the track

Simon Rockman
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Oh..

And the FE cars look a lot better than this year's F1 cars with their ill-thought out safety ideas on nose height. I also like the bigger wheels in FE and it will be interesting to see what comes out of today's F1 tyre tests using 18" wheels.

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Simon Rockman
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Thank you Formula E

Now that we have a green racing formula we can stop arsing around with fuel, and fuel-flow limits in F1.

Anyone who cares that much about being green thinks F1 is an abomination anyway and this is just tokenisim, and F1 fans see it as detracting from "hammer time" proper racing.

I like cars, all kinds of cars. Electric ones, diesel ones, whatever. I expect I will go to the London Formula E race and am tempted by Monaco.

Simon

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UK mobile sales in the toilet: Down by FIVE MILLION this year

Simon Rockman
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The thing is..

When you go into a shop to look at a phone you can see it has a bigger screen with smaller pixels. You can feel that is thinner and mess around with the UI to judge speed. You can't get an impression on battery life.

No-one believes the figures quoted on this the only authoritative source would be the mobile networks which can see, on average, how well all the phones do comparatively, but the relationship with the vendors is too important to them to jepordise by publishing the information.

There was a time when Carphone Warehouse put return rates in their catalogue - both faulty and no-fault found numbers but that's the closest I've seen.

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Google buys shagadelic playlist biz Songza

Simon Rockman
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Itichypoo park

The fart of noise

Shitting by the dock of the bay

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Catch cack-handed baggage handlers in the act with Ericsson's SPY SUITCASE

Simon Rockman
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Re: Lady in the first photo

Is part of the team which developed the electronics, not everyone who can use a soldering iron and IDE who has long hair also has a beard, sandals and an Iron Maiden T-shirt.

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We got behind the wheel of a Tesla S electric car. We didn't hate it

Simon Rockman
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Re: Practicality

I mailed Tesla to ask about towing, they say the Model S doesn't support it, and that the company does not offer a tow bar. It's under consideration for the Model X

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