* Posts by Mike VandeVelde

280 posts • joined 9 Mar 2007

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Reckon YOU can write better headlines than us? Great – apply within

Mike VandeVelde
Devil

yeah, if you could could just hire me, that would be great

Peter picked a peck of pickles, feck the puck of poppers peepers pint...

The rain in Spain explains the pain plainly part...

OK wait... I can do thish...

Colourless green ideas sleep furiously! RESULT!!!

At least I can English, so I got that going for me, which is nice *8)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF95MMcn_B0

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Net neutrality: The world speaks its brains on secret 'open' 'net rules

Mike VandeVelde
IT Angle

Re: Top Secret

"a sweeping new policy that affects much of the world"

I've seen this sentiment numerous times, and I don't understand it so I have to ask - how will these rules affect anyone or anything outside the jurisdiction of the USA? I mean they do usually try to apply their laws across the globe, with varying degrees of success, but here in Canada we had an open internet last week, we still have one today, and as far as I can tell we will still have one next week and into the forseeable future. What is going to change in any other country?

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Net neutrality secrecy: No one knows what the FCC approved (but Google has a good idea)

Mike VandeVelde
Megaphone

"more openness will make it easier for lobbyists"

"What would actually happen is that the cable companies would throw lobbyist money at it like there was no tomorrow, and the whole process would drown in partisan politics and legal challenges."

Hello? McFly? That's the current situation, not some hypothetical future scenario.

"with the report suddenly dropping 15 pages to 317 pages following a last-minute letter from Google... in response to a last minute submission from a major California based company, an entire core part of the document was removed with respect to broadband subscriber access service... spend the next few weeks in ex parte meetings listening to stakeholder concerns"

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Mike VandeVelde
Unhappy

"If T.T.I.P. goes through..."

On this side of the pond that happened in 1994 with NAFTA chapter 11. Corporations have the god given right to collect all the profit they plan on collecting no matter what democracy tries to whimper about it. The idea has been spreading like cancer around the globe ever since.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Investor-state_dispute_settlement

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Net neutrality victory: FCC approves 'open internet' rules in 3-2 vote

Mike VandeVelde
Holmes

"the FCC's chairman has refused to publish the rules before the vote took place."

So do we get to actually see the actual rules now?

<gets popcorn>

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Ads watchdog: Er, what does woman in her undies have to do with ‘slim’ phone?

Mike VandeVelde

Marconi: The West of England's very own Italian wireless pioneer

Mike VandeVelde
Boffin

Re: *ahem*

"It sometimes happens, even in science, that one man can be right against the world. Professor Fessenden was that man. He fought bitterly and alone to prove his theories. It was he who insisted, against the stormy protests of every recognized authority, that what we now call radio was worked by continuous waves sent through the ether by the transmitting station as light waves are sent out by a flame. Marconi and others insisted that what was happening was a whiplash effect. The progress of radio was retarded a decade by this error. The whiplash theory passed gradually from the minds of men and was replaced by the continuous wave, with all too little credit to the man who had been right."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reginald_Fessenden

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'Net neutrality will turn the internet communist – and make Iran's day'

Mike VandeVelde

"an open and freedom-enhancing global Internet"

Gambling

Porn

Copyright / Trademark

"Promoting Terrorism"

Who has the most government control of the internet and who does the most censorship? Grinds my gears the way some people talk...

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HIGH-RANNOSAURUS WRECKED: Druggie dinos tripped balls on psychedelics – boffins

Mike VandeVelde
Alien

Re: This reminds me...

Which in turn was ripped of from Terrence McKenna:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Wg5V23lqXk

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NSA raided hackers' troves of stolen data: report

Mike VandeVelde

take

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/on-the-take

WMD in Iraq, they obviously didn't look hard enough, they're all over:

http://www.fpx.de/fp/WebLog/2003/iraq-du.html

Oh, and:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fallujah_during_the_Iraq_War

According to professor Noam Chomsky, "Fallujah,..., was one of the worst atrocities of the 21st century."

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Wanted: Brit Facebook and Twitter trolls for counter-jihad psyops

Mike VandeVelde
Facepalm

diminishing returns

So they get someone like Matt Bryant to add the 13,147st comment to a major news article, that's supposed to be some kind of blow for freeedom? Once the noise to signal ratio rockets past 1,000% and the forum is basically overgrown with astroweeds, reclaimed by the astrojungle, who would they think remains to be influenced, is there anyone spending their days hyper obsessively reading every inane talking point comment? Will it be like an auto trading stock market crash, where everyone and their dog / blog squad has to keep up their pro/anti comment ratios and basically ddos all of the internets? How many major news outlets have a comments section where it's worth anything to read past the first 2 or 3 comments that show? How many more specialized forums like this one don't just laugh jokers like this off the stage? Up until there are just too many of them to bother with comments anymore...

I'd really like to see an organization like our esteemed paper of record The Register for example do some commenter analysis, and brand astrowarrior posts with the logo of the gang of thugs who spawned them based on IP addresses. I guess that wouldn't help sell ads though?

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Who'd be Target's infosec chief? Tesco CIO joins hack-battered firm

Mike VandeVelde

What do China, FBI and UK have in common? All three want backdoors in Western technology

Mike VandeVelde

FCC sexes up, er, sextuples 'broadband' speed to 25Mbps in US

Mike VandeVelde
Joke

Re: re: Bootnote

"engaged in unauthorized operations."

Allowing NSA spying.

ROLOLOLOFLMFAOLOLOL

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Hey, America. Canada's watchdog just slapped net neutrality rules on wireless internet

Mike VandeVelde
Devil

"a small data package upgrade for $5 a month, which seems a bit steep"

Yes, you do need to be a subscriber to access their internet video.

https://tvonline.bell.ca/

Let's say that it uses 300mb per hour, so 10 hrs is about 3 gb. For $5. Steep you say.

http://www.bell.ca/Mobility/Cell_phone_plans/Personal_plans

4 gb is $50/mo. Now do you see? Plus it says there you only get 5 hrs for $5. Welcome to Canada!

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Cubans defy government's home internet ban with secret home-made network

Mike VandeVelde

"when no nation on earth could have come to Cuba's aid"

I was going to upvote up until that line. Maybe some of these countries would want to help:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuban_medical_internationalism

"Cuba provides more medical personnel to the developing world than all the G8 countries combined"

"The idea of a nation saving lives and improving the human condition is alien to traditional statecraft and is therefore discounted as a rationale for the Cuban approach."

"currently educating more doctors, about 70,000 in all, than all the medical schools in the United States"

"US President Barack Obama commented... a reminder to the United States that limiting its interactions with Latin American countries to military and drug interdiction might be limiting its influence."

I'm not saying that any of these nations would have declared war on the USA or anything, but there are things that could be done to make a move like invading Cuba quite expensive in any number of ways. Cuba has a lot more friends than say Afghanistan or Iraq had. Millions and millions and millions of people protested the invasion of Iraq, could you imagine military action against Cuba???

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Hola HoloLens: Reg man gets face time with Microsoft's holographic headset

Mike VandeVelde
IT Angle

steady?

How steady does it seem? If you are looking at some minecraft blocks on your table, and you glance from one end of the table to the other, how steady and solid do they seam? How instant is the motion tracking to video updating? This would be the difference for me between a cheap seeming gimmick and a truly revelational experience. If I'm running up the stairs past a poster projected on the wall, does it seem like it's actually physically attached to the wall or more like a jittery overlay? If they've got that nailed then well done, otherwise meh.

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NSA: We're in YOUR BOTNET

Mike VandeVelde
Joke

Re: amanfrimmars1 No one should be surprised.

he's conversing with amanfrommars gibberish bot vs rightwingnut bot lol

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Give ALL the EU access to Netflix, says Vince Cable

Mike VandeVelde
Holmes

Re: iPlayer

"It's a licensing problem, blah blah blah"

Isn't that just the sort of handicap that a common market would try to cure?

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FERTILISER DOOM warning! PESKY humans set to WIPE selves out AGAIN

Mike VandeVelde
Trollface

"ElReg is INTERNATIONAL."

And so they use English (most/almost all of the time), which is used all over the world, which billions of people can read without any trouble. Then there is American, the simplified spelling version of English for simpler people, used only in the USA, also the exclusive home of a mad system of weights and measurements.

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Spavined RadioShack to file for bankruptcy next month – report

Mike VandeVelde
Holmes

oh yeah radio shack theyre still around?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RadioShack#Canada

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American bacon cured with AR-15 assault rifle

Mike VandeVelde

Apple WINS iPod antitrust fight, jury nixes BILLION-dollar payout bid

Mike VandeVelde
Alert

copyright violation = theft

Would you look at that, an actual case involving intellectual property that can actually be called theft - copies were actually removed from someone. But apparently that's fine.

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Mike VandeVelde
Meh

NEEDS MOAR WHITE

what about just making the no man's land left & right a pale pale grey? make my screen a little bit less of a search light? give me a little bit less of a tan whilst reading?

the image at the top of each article could be presented at about 20% of its current size. one of those rare situations where css actually considered the use case during design of the specifications, something float was actually designed for instead of all the contortions is actually used for in practice, i think the coder will probably jump at the chance. let there be some text down the side of it, let some of the article show below it.

im not too bent out of shape about it over all. the content is still there and its really not much if any more difficult to get to.

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Mike VandeVelde
Headmaster

Re: Still no https? really wide margins

What do people think that HTTPS is going to hide? These are static pages!! The "metadata" is still out there, what do you think you get out of obscuring the content when all someone has to do is follow the link you followed to see what you saw? It's useful for something like Facebook where what you are looking at is customized to you and possibly private, but here would it not simply be a waste of processing power??

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Nothing illegal to see here: Tribunal says TEMPORA spying is OK

Mike VandeVelde
Facepalm

Re: no suspicion that the user has committed any offence?

"Offence? Should be offense."

Only in Canada's pants.

http://canadatopia.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/canadas-pants.jpg

Simplified spelling and inexplicable units of measurement.

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Double hammer blow to ICANN and pals' internet power grab bid

Mike VandeVelde
Headmaster

"rob the few to help the many"

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BKV15vJCEAEGa8m.jpg

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Obama HURLS FCC under train, GUTPUNCHES ISPs in net neut battle

Mike VandeVelde
Paris Hilton

"the thousand of us who had the Christmas Season ruined"

To be expected to find something else to do besides lay on the couch and watch TV, at CHRISTMAS TIME OF ALL TIMES!!!! What, spend time with family?!?! The horror!! Was there a statistically significant upswing in domestic disturbances? lol

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Pop starlet Taylor Swift DUMPS Spotify: It’s not me, it’s you

Mike VandeVelde
Pirate

Re: People will definitely pay for music.

I will pay. I will pay admission for a live concert. I will pay for authentic collectable physical media with inserts and artwork. I will pay for various other authentic collectable paraphernalia.

If a friend lends me a copy, and I pay for my own blank media and my own duplicating equipment, and make myself my own copy, I'm sorry but there are no fees coming out of me for that. Extrapolate out to all the other ways to make copies, my concern remains at the same level. Make war on me for that and I'm sorry but you will lose.

I will pay for access to a well curated collection with features.

Them's the breaks. Artists and all your various hangers on: figure out what to do with that. Or don't. Whatever. Quit your fucking whining already, I might find that yes I actually can somehow care less.

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You! AT&T! The only thing 'unlimited' about you is your CHEEK, growl feds

Mike VandeVelde

Verizon bankrolls tech news site, bans tech's biggest stories

Mike VandeVelde
Coat

just one question

If yourself and Mr. Andrew "limits operators’ ability to manage networks and recover costs" Orlowski ever physically cross paths, would it come to fisticuffs?

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Big Content outs piracy hotbeds: São Paulo, Beijing ... TORONTO?

Mike VandeVelde
Trollface

from sea to sea to sea

"Canadians a bunch of bootlegging movie thieves"

They seem to think that we should be concerned about this or something? lol

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Netflix and other OTT giants use 'net neutrality' rules to clobber EU rivals

Mike VandeVelde
Flame

Netflix Charging

I think Netflix should structure their pricing differently. $8.99 for Netflix, unless you use one of the ISPs who are double dipping then it's $12.99. Pass the extortion costs on to the appropriate customer. I sure don't want any of my subscription money going to prop up any of these monopoly dinosaurs, how is that fair?

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Microsoft EU warns: If you have ties to the US, Feds can get your data

Mike VandeVelde

Re: IS (Europe: firewall your data)

So, reasons for the occupation of Iraq:

1. To eliminate the imminent threat of the use of weapons of mass destruction. Nope, there actually weren't any, so let's not talk about that.

2. For oil. The fact that Iraq was abandoning the use of the USA dollar for trading oil is just conspiracy theory, so let's not talk about that or pipelines and whatnot.

3. Because Iraq was ruled with an iron fist by a dictator who brutally crushed all opposition to him. Let's talk about this, but only if we separate out the reasons from the events???

The events were that we crushed all opposition to our rule 10 times more brutally than Saddam ever dreamed of doing. So yes, if we leave out what actually happened, with a huge dose of selective amnesia you could maybe feel pretty good about ourselves. But not me man, sorry.

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Mike VandeVelde
Unhappy

Re: IS (Europe: firewall your data)

> But all of this is off topic.

This is a story about a drug dealer, and OP mentioned the Islamic State, it seemed to me like the right place to post the link.

> I am not one for war or for interfering in other peoples' affairs but there is a chance here to take action and prevent a greater problem while it is still in it's (relative) infancy.

That's exactly the attitude that got us to this point. What kind of Islamic State do you think there would be today if bunker buster bombs and drone launched hellfire missiles hadn't rained down on Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Libya, Palestine, Yemen, Somalia, etc over the last few decades? Now more of the same will somehow solve the "problem", this time for suresies? I'm sorry but that's fucking madness.

> Unchecked it will very likely spread quite alarmingly.

Is it too late already? That's what has worried me the most, especially since the massive <AppropriateWordDoesNotExist> that was the invasion and occupation of Iraq, that our chickens would finally come home to roost and it would no longer be an issue of guys like us typing our #FirstWorldProblems scholarly internet discussions on the pros and cons of the deaths of hundreds of thousands of other people over there, but being able to look out our windows and see it in our streets like we've made happen for so many people around the world for so long. I'm scared we will keep this shit up until we actually are facing an existential threat and have no choice but to actually defend ourselves, as opposed to these idiotic adventures over there we keep on somehow convincing ourselves are reasonable ideas. Why wouldn't these people band together and exact vengeance? What would you do? What will we do? Fuck.

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Mike VandeVelde
Alert

Re: Europe: firewall your data

Mexican drug cartels are worse than ISIL

Western obsession with the Islamic State is fueled more by bigotry than any genuine assessment of risk or atrocities

http://america.aljazeera.com/opinions/2014/10/isil-vs-mexican-drugcartelsunitedstatesislamophobia.html

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WikiLeaks reveals new draft of Trans-Pacific Partnership

Mike VandeVelde
Trollface

trade secrets - no exemptions

Eureka! You want to keep the authorities out of your digital bits, just sprinkle them with "trade secrets".

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Britain’s snooping powers are 'too weak', says NCA chief

Mike VandeVelde
Facepalm

Re: Afghanistan

No kidding. Pretty much what I was going to post.

"Bristow expressed concerns that US and UK pullout from Afghanistan might lead to an increase in the volume of heroin reaching Britain’s streets."

No, that happened when you went in, idiot.

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US stakes out 'net battleground ahead of ITU meeting

Mike VandeVelde
Boffin

it's not just the NSA

Let's say you make a home movie and make it available on the internet. No matter where you are in the world, or where the internet servers involved are located, the long arm of the law of the USA may reach out for you.

-if it includes any unauthorized music in the background or even just a TV on in the background it can be censored, people can have civil suits filed against them, and any internet services involved my also be in trouble.

-if it includes anything of a sexual nature, depending on the age of the participants and the various ages of consent in various jurisdictions, and depending on the specific acts involved and the various standards of decency in various jurisdictions, it can be censored, and people can be charged with crimes, and any internet services involved may also be in trouble.

-if it includes anything of a politically sensitive nature (say advocating for communism in the past, or advocating for islamism in the present, or even just environmentalism and/or anti capitalism), it can be censored, people can be "interviewed" by security forces and from there anything can happen to them, and any internet services involved may also be in trouble.

Internet services being in trouble can be anything from fines, having domain names taken, payment processing ended, physical servers taken, other assets frozen, right up to criminal charges against staff and management or even rendition or even assassination.

The USA can't go on about freedom of speech while any of the above is true. And if it is claimed that these are reasonable restrictions on freedom of speech (which I don't necessarily entirely disagree with), then why are white power websites advocating Nazi ideals considered fine when they are blatantly illegal in other countries. Once you go down the road of saying that some content should not be allowed, and the USA is quite a way down that road already (along with pretty much every country), then where do you draw the line, and just whose laws can be considered valid.

It is obviously not the case that the USA has Freedom(tm) and other countries don't. It is only a question of degree.

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FBI boss: Apple's iPhone, iPad encryption puts people 'ABOVE THE LAW'

Mike VandeVelde
Alert

Re: What a fuckbag

the first rule of commentardery is you do not speak of downvotes

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Microsoft splurges 2½ INSTAGRAMS buying Minecraft maker Mojang

Mike VandeVelde

Yawn, Wikileaks, we already knew about FinFisher. But these software binaries...

Mike VandeVelde
Megaphone

Re: BoringGreen Destroyed @Matt Bryant

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/06/14/making_hacking_tools_should_be_criminal_act_say_eu_ministers/

and furthermore... yeah never mind.

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Microsoft tells judge: Hold us in contempt of court, we're NOT giving user emails to US govt

Mike VandeVelde

Tim Cook in Applerexia fears: New MacBook THINNER THAN EVER

Mike VandeVelde
Big Brother

Re: Where is the "worryingly thin" quote?

https://www.adbusters.org/content/thinner-ever

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Anonymous threatens to name cop who shot dead unarmed Michael Brown

Mike VandeVelde
Alert

Re: "puts his life on the line every day"

"Eurotrash" "chickenass" "anti-cop idiot" "moron"

It's pretty clear you have already made up your mind and convicted me before I ever had the chance to let you know even a single thing about me.

Some light reading for you regarding my "version of reality":

http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=311919

http://www.straight.com/news/new-video-shows-paul-boyd-crawling-being-shot-dead-vancouver-police

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/justice-system-failed-frank-paul-left-to-die-of-hypothermia-report-1.800186

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/rcmp-taser-knife-wielding-82-year-old/article959259/

http://www.timescolonist.com/news/local/victoria-police-officer-who-abused-authority-suspended-without-pay-for-two-days-1.115285

http://www.canada.com/story.html?id=5d9f4899-2a62-470a-b57b-e1d09a61ac79

Our streets might not be quite as psychotic as yours, but I don't really think it's fair for you to say "you spout off about something you have NO IDEA about."

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Mike VandeVelde
Flame

"puts his life on the line every day"

"puts his life on the line every day"

it would be much easier to swallow a line like that if it wasnt a case of simply executing someone at the first sign of the slightest danger, could maybe still give the benefit of the doubt if it wasnt the umpteenth case with similar circumstances, could possibly still even get a little sympathy if any previous case had ever resulted in anything besides total impunity.

but no, so no.

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LulzSec supergrass Sabu led attacks against Turkey – report

Mike VandeVelde
Windows

Re: Britt Release

is terrorist getting all used up? now we need to resurrect the marxist boogeyman too in order to keep up the emphasis?

"Marxist <illegal immigrant pedophile welfare case music pirate environmentalist> terror gang"

there spruced it up for you. copylefted, have at er.

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White? Male? You work in tech? Let us guess ... Twitter? We KNEW it!

Mike VandeVelde
Flame

Socialism always fails eventually

Can you point to a form of society that has lasted forever?? I hate to break it to you but capitalism always fails eventually too. Actually that was quite enjoyable ;-) Just because there are a few capitalist countries that have managed to precariously teeter along to the current day balancing on the top of pyramid scheme empires built on imaginary fiat money commanded by misguided theories about capital based on measures of gross domestic product that have almost no basis in reality, well that doesn't guarantee that you and yours won't be picking through refuse for scraps to eat and fighting off your neighbours amid the decaying riot burnt rubble of your cities within the next six months.

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Universal Music mulls 'all you can eat' buffet of song downloads

Mike VandeVelde
Windows

"intellectual property" globocorp offers unlimited* music downloads

*by unlimited they mean limited to what this particular corporation is currently licensed to offer you online - "IN YOUR AREA", or approximately up to 1% of what was available on Napster, for $20/mo when other services range up to $12/mo.

Brilliant geniuses!!1!!! World domination ahoy!! lol

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Post-Profit Prophet RUSSELL BRAND is the HUMBLE CHRIST of STARTUPS

Mike VandeVelde
Facepalm

+1 ever so insightful

"he talks about a nicer and fairer world. but he has some money! that he got from corporations!! and he isnt living the amish life!!! obviously entirely nonsense qed. ps - anyone who disagrees with me is hopelessly retarded."

yeeeeessssss. thank you very much for that valuable addition to the discussion.

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