Feeds

* Posts by T J

242 posts • joined 15 Nov 2007

Page:

Quit drooling, fanbois - haven't you SEEN what the iPhone 6 costs?

T J

You can pay for anything you want

Apple never really came up with anything. You can get any gear you want - if you are prepared to pay for it. You always could.

The iPod was a perfect example of Jobbie's marketing insan... genius. Take an mp3 player, moronise the interface (and call it 'funky'), then add an 80G surface-mount spinner. Isn't this wonderful? And it only costs you $800! Just don't drop it.

The MacBook Air - we'll make it so thin that nobody can make a DVD-ROM drive for it... cos, you know, those things are like so dead, man. And they did die, true. About 5 years later. But then there's a little thing called heat-dissipation, but thats ok nobody cares about that. In the meantime, we are so sorry about your scorched testicles, Sir, but they were scorched by Steve so you really should be grateful. Give us $4500 for the new one with less Ball-Scorch....

Decades ago, in the luggable era, Hewlett Packard (I *think*, it may have been somebody else) made a luggable that you could throw over a wall onto concrete. They built it for the military, and it was one of the first devices with 'drop-sensing' that would park the spinner, and all the internals were gel-packed. It cost $30k.

Anything you want. Gimme yo dolla.

0
0

SHINY NEW GADGETS! No, we're not joking, here's a load of them

T J

More reasons to shoot cyclists

Since the clown-clothed, space and privacy invading, jumped-up t*rds will no doubt use it, hopefully the gear will remain a bright, vivid orange. Makes the little bastards a lot easier to sight up...

0
0

Yawn, Wikileaks, we already knew about FinFisher. But these software binaries...

T J

Linux?

How the hell do you install the Linux one? If you've got root anyway then it's game over.

0
0

Want to buy a Woz-made Apple I? If you need to ask the price, you can't afford it

T J

F**** Apple and f***** old computing shyte

I am not unique in this - I am an old, very experienced, still perfectly functioning software developer. My dreams are written in Python (it's more efficient than the old way).

And, I hate old computer hardware, ok? I can't stand it. It bores the living piss out of me. People who get enthusiastic about it generate a boredom field that ages concrete by millenia - they are dangerous, don't let them near bridges.

If it's seriously old - like valves-and-mercury era - then that's a different story. That stuff was space-lab frankenstein-lab evilgenius-lab glorious blinkenlicht power to the oversploog! But mainly because it looked really cool, quite apart from any boundaries it pushed.

Old, clunky and stupid plastic boxes, full of step-wise evolutions of green, crappy circuit boards, are your anus, frankly. Pants. Duff. Boring and spew.

And if it's APPLE, ooooooowwwwrrr, then it can REALLY get stuffed (down the curbside drain, with a roight goid kickun....)

1
2

If you think 3D printing is just firing blanks, just you wait

T J

Re: thermoplastic turds

" whizz-whir desktop 3D printers that produce a range of useless, multi-coloured, thermo-plastic turds."

spot on. really sums up the whole thing.

apart from some level of initial prototyping , possibly.

---

You guys are ignorant fuckheads. I know that makes me sound like a yank but... you've driven me to it. Keep reading and researching. You are espousing the 3D-printing view from about 1995. It's not 1995 anymore. No, really, look out the window.

0
0
T J

Mmmmmmmm, no.

Mmmmmmmm, no. It's actually getting there VERY fast. You have some more research to do, Sir, but it's ok if you do it after the weekend.

0
0

NSW to build federated ID management rig for staff, punters

T J

Re: Been through this

They'll have a committee of 20. And a budget of several million, most of which will go up noses, into the deserving hands of ladies of the night, and to the building of some damn fine patios.

Any idea that Big Brother could be organised enough to be a long-lasting threat is rapidly dissolving in kafka-sillywalks juice these days.

Nevertheless, when this goes belly-up can I sue them and take ownership of their lives? C'monnnn.....

0
0

Anonymous wifi the latest casualty of Russia net neurosis

T J

Re: @Alfred2 Lessons will be learnt

"Over the weekend, The Independent carried three articles about online bullying (and 'grooming'), within which a former Government spokesman said that the internet was becoming too dangerous for children and that the Government needed to get tough on 'the industry'.

This feels like an initial massaging of public opinion to enable acceptance of restrictions.

One idea mentioned was to use Australian legislation about online bullying as a reference model. So, look to Australia as inspiration for future UK government attitudes and legislation of the internet."

Oh god, please don't! We are a nation of 90% dickheads down here, we can't help you! In fact, we have been fearing idiocies like The Ring Of Steel making its way down here.

0
1

Robot snaps on yellow RUBBER GLOVES, preps to invade Canada

T J

Re: good job they are doing this in Canada

In those there parts, it would shoot back.

3
0

Users should PAY for their piracy says Turnbull

T J

Turnbull needs to pay ME...

...for having to watch his offensive head on my screen and listen to his bullshit. And the same goes for his party and the Liberal Party Lite (the ALP).

0
1

Google kills its successful social network. Yes, we mean Orkut

T J

Whasis?

What's this "Googleplus" thing? Is it like the Red Cross?

0
0

Microsoft's anti-bug breakthrough: Wire devs to BRAIN SCANNERS

T J

Simplest solution...

...surely is just to remove their 'products' from all hardware, everywhere, and replace them with linux based ones?

2
1

Remaining Snowden docs will be released to avert 'unspecified US war' – ‪Cryptome‬

T J

Re: Potty

Word

0
0

TrueCrypt turmoil latest: Bruce Schneier reveals what he'll use instead

T J

Right, so it's just more guesswork bollox

Right, so it's just more guesswork bollox and in the meantime there is nothing actually wrong with TrueCrypt.

Nobody has addressed the elephant in the room - has AES256 been compromised? (Correct answer: no, it hasn't). TC is just a file-system handler built around AES256's one-way functions.

So, carry on people, nothing to see here (yet).

Oh and read this:

https://www.grc.com/misc/truecrypt/truecrypt.htm

2
1

James Bond producers sign on for Edward Snowden movie

T J

Avoiding disasters

So long as they don't accidentally make 'Quantum Of Solace' all should be well.

0
0

Immigration Dept: we have NO IDEA how many people saw asylum-seeker data

T J

We are a nation of dickheads.

0
1

Newsnight goes sour on Tech City miracle

T J

Hello... hello. IS this thing on....

0
0
T J

Mr. Orlowski, I love you.

1
0

UK cops: Keep yer golden doubloons, ad folk. Yon websites belong ta PIRATES

T J

This is really a bit.... sad.... overall. The rozzers have resorted to this. Can't be long before they (rightly) give up entirely and go after corporate tax frauds and other rapists like we pay them to.

3
0

Assange not running in new Australian election

T J

Holy crap - behold the might of public memory! I'd nearly completely forgotten about old Whitedyed Man there!

5
0

XBOX One SHOT DEAD by Redmond following delivery blunder

T J

Xbox? Really?

Players still buy Xboxes? Since Nintendo now call ALL the shots (and nobody is laughing anymore), Redmond is rapidly going down the gurgler, and Sony are busy shooting their balls off from every possible direction... I'm starting to find Xbox stories rather quaint.

0
0

SECRET draft copyright treaty LEAKED: Meet the Trans-Pacific Partnership

T J

Australians play Uncle Sam's pink oboe

Don't believe any of the old bollocks and hype about Australians being stand-up, defy-at-all-odds, revolutionaries - none of it was ever true, it was all propaganda, smoke, hot-air and bullshit, always.

As a nation we LOVE to bend over and take it right up the colon from the lowest, highest, or in fact any bidder.

11
1

Thousands rally behind teen girl cuffed, expelled in harmless 'explosion'

T J

Re: OOPS!

You're a dickhead.

0
1

Vandals break into congressman's office, install Linux on PCs

T J
Linux

A New Era

I for one, welcome our new Linux Installing Overlords.

0
0

Microsoft launches its own 'so.cl' network

T J
FAIL

TOO FUNNY!!

This is TOO FUNNY. Like I say, I am counting down to Google buying M$, I am surmising they will make an offer, even if it is only an industry gesture, later this year.

But can you honestly imagine. No I haven't the energy to type it, just imagine nothing but SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM and more SPAM, security leaks, completely mis-attributed information, and total system outages. Like Windows.

3
6

Vintage alien tech crash-lands in field

T J
Facepalm

Re: I guess thats

Oh GOD did you HAVE to remind me of that episode......

0
0

Anonymous plans DDoS attack on GCHQ in snoop law protest

T J
Mushroom

Re: OK

Agreed. This has been script kiddies and armchair beardstrokers attacking badly secured webservers so far - BIG. DEAL. But sooner or later somebody in there might actually attack something more substantial, though if they are smart - egos are traditionally the letdown of the real hacker - they will tell nobody about it.

0
0

Councils get online arsenal to battle billion-pound bloodsuckers

T J

Re: YAY

Aye, Seconded.

0
0

CSIRO patent-trolls ALL OF AMERICA!

T J
Mushroom

Speaking from Oz....

Speaking as an Oz. It really nice to see CSIRO develop some gonads for once. Their greatest tragedy was Mortein (whatever its known as overseas) - basically the chemical system upon which all fly sprays are based. CSIRO invented that. Then.... gave it away. At least this time they're going after the prize. Go boys.

4
0

MPAA boss: 'SOPA isn’t dead yet'

T J
Thumb Up

Yeah its dead

Yeah, yeah its dead. Can somebody tell him please. Cheers, thanks.

0
0

Citrix champions CloudStack, throws OpenStack under a bus

T J
Megaphone

Go Citrix

Ok 'Citrix' as we who have accidentally had corpseorate jobs at some stages is a total POS, we all know that. It just barely does for WinshyteDOS what X did in 1980 for UNIX.

However - their Xen offering is probably the best virtualization on the market, or at least will be shortly.

For once, I have to agree, its GOOD to be abandoning the opensource original. After what the nerds did to KDE I'm not in a very forgiving mood to developers who think 'features' are 'improvements'.

Go Citrix - go forth and make this work, vmware needs to be kicked out of the market and I doubt KVM will ever reach commerciality at its current glacial pace. And there are no others.

1
1

EU plans tougher punishment for hackers – and their bosses

T J
FAIL

Yeah Good Luck with that!!

Yeah good luck enforcing that boys!!

0
0

Vote now for the WORST movie EVER

T J
Facepalm

Dangerous Minds

Dangerous Minds, with Michelle Pfifer. I still don't understand how the studio didn't decide burning the tapes was a better idea than releasing it. My brain hurts whenever I think about it.

0
0

Climate-change scepticism must be 'treated', says enviro-sociologist

T J
Megaphone

Chaotic Irony

I find it mildly amusing. Dear Isaac's little maths idea would never have worked due to being infinitely subject to initial conditions - but when, he was writing, Chaos was not fashionable maths. That is to say, its full impact on pretty much everything had not been fully recognized at the time. (Also let's face it, he was rubbish. Almost none of his writings have stood the test of time and Yes, that includes his robot stories. He was a hack.)

We now know you can't predict roulette and can only limitedly predict the weather, 'psychomaths' never stood a chance.

But the irony comes from the fact that the idiots 'denying' (I put in quotes to be gramatically and semantically correct - you cannot 'deny' a fact) anthropically forced global warming are usually pig ignorant morons who have never heard of such a thing as Chaos Theory.

Etc.

1
2

Nintendo DSi sends child abuser to the slammer

T J
Thumb Up

Police Assaults

Next step is people to film the Police assaulting them.

0
0

Dotcom hike will net MEEELLIONS of bucks for Verisign, ICANN

T J
Mushroom

Yeah yeah, DNS is DEAD we know

Yeah yeah, DNS is DEAD we know. This is nail, coffin, bang.

0
0

Paedophiles ‘disguise’ child abuse pages as legit websites

T J
Childcatcher

Re: "follows a particular digital path"

Yup, you got it.

This is a bit of a big FAIL for Reg journalism this story.

2
0

Sir Isaac Newton's life rendered as KML

T J
FAIL

OOOH GOODY!

Cos the world desperately needs one more ML.

0
0

German court: Rapidshare must HUNT for dodgy pirate links

T J
Mushroom

Neanderthal

Yeah, yeah, I can REALLY see this decision surviving for ..... about 30 seconds.

0
0

You're crap and paid too much for the little work you actually do

T J
Devil

Yeah

Yeah its a pity but the article is basically right.

You really have to lie and cheat and steal in the IT workplace, more than in any other.

I think this explains the massive rise in consultancies, ppl are getting well sick of this neanderthal crap.

0
0

Microsoft SharePoint exposes privates in sniffing hack

T J
FAIL

So....

.....has anyone ever, EVER, worked out exactly what Sharepoint does? Or what its good for? Or why they didn't build the functionality into IIS (yes ok we know its because IIS is a pile of @)$(@*#) but lets all pretend)? Or what it does that couldnt be done by a simple web interface? Or why you'd pay for it????

1
1

Oz anti-gang law hits email, maybe torrents too

T J
Meh

Re: mad max

Nah the bikies are hardly ever visible, they just make good newspaper fodder. There was one infamous incident years ago when two gangs decided to shoot one another up at a country fete and a 12 year old girl bought the farm in the crossfire. The government and police should have just created a clandestine death squad and killed all of them, it was the only sensible course of action, but we have some of the most gutless politicians in the western world. As it was, the bikie world themselves - pretty much ruled here by the hells angels - took justice into their own hands and meted out some severe punishment. I'm grateful to them but it wasn't enough. Also here they are largely pussies: in Norway rival gangs take on one another with rocket launchers and no thats not a joke.

1
0

Microsoft slashes Office 365 prices

T J
Pint

LibreOffice

LibreOffice has won. And that's all there is to say really!

3
8

Top Brit authors turn flamethrowers on barmy IPO

T J
Mushroom

Yeah But No But Yeah But No But

Yes Copyright needs to be bitterly flogged back into a corner and made to behave, just like Capitalism. But the solution IS NOT TO INTRODUCE COMMUNISM!!!!

0
0

MYSTERY programming language found in Duqu

T J
Thumb Up

Watcomm?

Or the Gnu win64 compiler? Or indeed any compiler that doesnt have all of that microcrud CRAP bogging it down?

0
0

Oz says 41 hits a day turn bloggers into publishers

T J
Devil

You...you use your REAL identity details for posting online???

0
0

Yelp boosts Bono's Elevation

T J
Meh

Who?

Who is 'Bono' ?

0
0

Tick-like banking Trojan drills into Firefox, sucks out info

T J
WTF?

There are people who still use Windows?

What are they, Amish or Menonite or something?

2
0

Child abuse suspect won't be forced to decrypt hard drive

T J
Thumb Up

Wow, Common Sense!

Sudden outbreak of common sense, I'll be damned! Maybe it will help make our modern, fashionably UNelected governments realize they have no rights in respect of our personal information WHATSOEVER.

And the Spooks? They will just carrying on what they do, legally, illegally or alegally - its what they are supposed to do.

0
0

Page: