2880 posts • joined 14 Nov 2007
Small word that I bet investors are mulling now...
Nokia drifting on a bobbing, floating, burning oil platform? About €6 now? Short to €3. Make a mint.
As another commentard used to write: "TO TEH MOON!" (SCO)
When I read about the $1Bn, then I knew without doubt Elop's job was Embrace, Enhance, Extinguish.
Even Ollilla endorsed it. He built the bloody company into a worldwide success story to match no other, and now (it seems) he's happy to - in a joint venture, naturally - to have his hand on the 'flush-handle' and watch his child swirl down the pan.
I think I wrote once here "Ollilla come back, all is forgiven!"
Not any more.
Nifty bit of soldering to get that fitted with sockets*. Certainly my version didn't have plated-through holes. U used maplin's socket-on-a-strip concept, so I could solder both sides...
Like practically every story I've heard, almost every MK14 owner regrets selling theirs. (I gave one away to a broke enthusiastic apprentice we had). Useless? Well, I got it to display MSF's fast-code time display (fast-code now discontinued).
*That crystal looks like it's been in the wars. Which reminds me - the SC/MP was feted at 4 meg. but the crystal, IIRC, was a TV decoder part, (4,43Meg?) so some 10% faster than the chip was specc'd. So, I guess Sir Clive was the first mass-overclocker...
Corks! Thermal printers! X-change (BT) anyone?
When I were a mere whippet,my boss used to drive me (as a BT apprentice, I wasn't allowed to drive) to Gaydon, one of the first 'X' exchanges.
We always knew there had been problems, because as the door was opened, this nasty 'printer smell' would be obvious. The stronger the smell, the bigger the problem.
Now, if you want 'smelly' without the 'ruby mellie' try working with a TI 'Silent-700' all day. "Silent, but deadly" springs to mind.
Having said that, page 1 of the article shows a Sinclair MK14. I cut my teeth on that*. I'd seriously love another.
*No, I had wire-cutters. Well, actually my toenail clippers. Or, used me mam's teeth when she was asleep....I reckoned the water in the glass killed static.
I tried an old gmail account of mine, to find it was not in use anymore. Fair enough, don't think I've used it for a couple of years, and Google, as I understand, deletes unused accounts. I may stand corrected.
So I tried to open a new account, using the old name. ouluXXXX@gmail.com.
Yipee - no-one's got it! I can have it back!
Welcome message an' all. No mail, except for the 3 from gmail, welcoming, useful links, etc.
That was yesterday. Sunday.
Log in this morning, I've got HUNDREDS going back to 2007....
..what this guy did is perfectly legal?
Unless I've misunderstood, carrying box-cutters onto a plane was perfectly legal before 9/11.
My Nokia-issued 'survival kit' - which comprised smoke-mask*, torch, knife, scissors, basic medication - some of it liquid - etc. wouldn't be allowed as hand-luggage now. (Issued to me in 1999 or so. Think I still have it somewhere...).
Sorry, folks, this bloke is just the tip of the iceberg. A bastard who somehow seems to have been 'foolish' enough to poke his head above the water.
Sadly, there's probably plenty more smarter, waiting out there, who can hold their breath longer. We call them 'sleeper cells' which surely is an oxymoron. They sure as fuc*k ain't asleep.
We'll get some of them by intelligence, or by their own stupidity/overconfidence.
I'm afraid the vast majority of these fuckers will be caught by pure luck. And a plod's intuition.
* Bit stupid, really. If I've got a mask on, and someone's gasping, did they think I could just stroll off the plane whilst the dying watched? Guess that was what the knife was for...Anyone else from Nokia who is reading this have one?
Don't get this "double touch" thing.
Here, if I accidentally get off a bus and try to get on it again, my touchcard won't let me, unless the driver recognises me, which is why it's important to look the driver in the eye and give a sinister, loud, "HYVÄÄ HUOMENTAA!!!" as you get on. System blocks that card, on that bus, for the journey, presumably to prevent me lobbing it out of the exit door so my mate can travel. Free.
As to 500ms, there's another longer-distance card that, depending on the bus, has to be either put into a slot by yourself, or handed to the driver so he can do it. Realistically, about 4 secs. per card. 'Course, this ain't London, but the buses are no smaller* and just as crowded.
Worse is the muppet who, when it's blowing a blizzard in -20, insists on being first on. So he/she can recharge her bus card on the bus. Takes a bloody age! 20 folks standing out in the weather while some dizzy git/gitess fumbles around in wallet/purse for money/credit card.
I'll swing for one of them one day, I really will!
Still, €49/month for unlimited travel in the city** ain't bad.
*Yeah, we don't have double-deckers, nor 'bendy-buses here but in rush-hour, two with the same number follow each other in tandem. When the first is full - and I mean full - he only lets folks off, not on. By that, we know the second one is along in less than a minute.
** Ok, Londoners would call Oulu a town. Or a hamlet.
Forgot to mention
The bozo HW/Cost-cutting dept. at Nokia decided to scrimp and save and give 256 megs. for system memory. OK, oodles for porn^Wmedia and apps. in the main memory, but... there's no room for a fallback if the download is 157 smegs and goes tits-up. Assuming the "E:drive" isn't used as a temp.
Jeepers, wouldn't have added more than a dollar to the build price to double it. 50c. if I were the buyer...No bricks!
Nope. Not available. Commands me to go to OVI suite. Not sure minimum machine specs come into this with only one prog. running. Ovi does everything else. You're probably correct that I should've upgraded OVI first (it only took 2 hours, but no reboots), as it tells that this fixes certain connection problems between PC and N8. But I'm buggered if I'll do another upgrade on this setup.
Assuming there ever will be one.
Shat bricks myself last night...
OK, setup. N8, creaky old Ubuntu/XP-2 IBM T30 dual-boot laptop, which has been staggeringly reliable over the last, oh, 8 years or so. Mobile internet connection (no, it loads onto the PC first, _then_ transfers, so no worries).
I decided to upgrade because when I tried to put the music player as a main panel shortcut, it insisted in putting the radio there instead. I had two radios on the main panel.
OK, go S/W update. Yep, update available, but at 152 megs, only way is through OVI Suite.
Link all together, go OVI, and find there's : Updates for OVI, N8, and some apps.
Now, this *might* be a bit of my fault, as the lappie only has 256M of ram. (Stop sniggering - I only use it in XP mode for OVI) As a result, this Alzeimer's suffering 'device' takes a full 20-30 minutes to stop thrashing its disk on startup, with NO apps running. Not that I can get an app running in that time, the mouse cursor is as nimble as a slug. Ubuntu 10.10, it thrashes 2 minutes.
Offered the choices:
1) update OVI
2) Update N8
3) update apps.
Fearful I'd need the cursed "Restart Windows to complete..." stuff, I (foolishly?) decided to skip 1) as I wanted to do something else with my life that evening. After all, the version I had worked, it's only an upgrade/reflash innit?
So, choose 2) and start the 1 hour download. Download OK. Start the upgrade to the N8. Numerous pop-up messages telling me "This device can perform better if connected to a USB 2.0 port. Click here for a list of available ports, which instantly gives the message "there are no availble 2,0 ports".
Aside - Why the Fuc*king hell couln*t the stupid twat who wrote that bit of code not have got it to check first" Alice-in-Wonderland "It's rude to offer what you don't have". I digress.
OVI lied. This process will take about 15 minutes. Who'se minutes? Anyway 3/4 of the way through = ½ hour, while the N8 is now displaying 'test mode', OVI tells me there's been a problem, disconnect the USB, reconnect, and click "here". OK, Mummy knows best, so I did. B'stard started from the beginning again. Did it twice more, at which point I'd had enough, take it back to the shop, and they can reflash the fuc*ker. All I had was a white screen with NOKIA written on it.
Turn off, turn on, and - I'll be jiggered, it groaned into life, with umpteen messages. The bug I started this process for is now fixed beautifully. Does seem more responsive, too.
Daft thing is, I did upgrade OVI afterwards, and - it doesn't require a reboot.
Start all above at 3:30, finally finish (ok, loaded latest maps for Finland afterwards) at 9:00. B'stard made me miss 'happy hour'.
An aside, I went to the Nokia.fi site last night. After a few seconds, this big blue banner appears. Clicking 'Sulje" - close didn't. Goto Nokia.com. Same banner, went away obediently on clicking 'close'.
Try with Firefox, no problems.
Now, as it only fucks up in the Nokia.fi site*, and only with Explorer, do you think Elop is trying to tell the Finnish Nokians something...
*I expect it's been fixed now.
Sorry, can't remember what version of explorer I have, and I can't be arsed to endure ½ hour of disk-thrashing to find out, nor go down 4 flights of stairs to retrieve the T30's bits from the car park, and put it back together again...(joke - it's only 3 flights...)
Mat, 'cos it kinda looks like a brick.
Things that might be non-obvious to a user and require a return to store.
Well, they *could* always read that little book that comes with the 'device'...
Who are you more critical of? Your Government, or the opposition?
If you want one facing the other way, look at
“Our government has gone rogue on us”
I think your Government (using the term loosely) has gone Feral. And, has for a long time.
Think of the fishes' final quotation:
"Oh, Christ, it's Mr. Creosote!!"
Rubbish collections, pah!
In Britain, they happen every other week. Carefully snifted ^Wshifted by the bin-cops.
"Oi, mate, you can't put that rotten space nappy in the metal bin. Don't ya know nuffink? Here's a fifty quid fine.."
Bet ISS hasn't paid it's council tax.
C5? Escape Velocity?
Well, if the Top Gear team can attempt to launch a Robin Reliant*....There's a challenge!
Elop ^W Epic fail!!!
Oh, dear mod, where's our Elop icon? Pretty-please!
*Ever tried changing the middle spark plug on one of those early ones? Practically a top-engine strip.
Finnish Social Security (aka. KELA) appears as frightening...
I spent hours poring over the form - multi-page - the first time.
To make sure I was OK, I took it to an official. "I don't want to get anything wrong here*"
She looked at it, it was OK and stamped it. Her passing remark was the equivalent of "Don't take this bollock*s too seriously".
I.e., the more papers they are forced to look through, the less they give a shit.
* I've heard disaster stories of folks who skive a couple of days on a KELA-organised training course, getting ALL benefit stopped for 90 days, including housing allowance. Stay with friends, or sleep on the street. As it's -31C at the moment, I wanted to be sure....
..the engineer from Portugal got bumped 'cos his biome...
Coat. Home. Tataa.
Of course, a complete misnomer. But I was born in the '50's. Then, there was no such thing in the general populace as "radio". It was wireless. Same as there was no such time as "25 past 5", or, God Forbid, "5-25". It was, as every old git knows, "Five-and-twenty past five. Pip emma.".
Plus, the Archers was always promulgated on the "Home Service", which is strange, implying London was "Home", but the Archers were in "Dork-etshire", or nearby.
So maybe "Wireless Radio" is an attempt to embrace the entire populace, young and old.
Don't think that's how it works...
"Due to the apparent fact that the two signals are 180 degrees out of phase..."
Don't think they are. They're IN-phase, so no loss of transmit, but depending on the positioning of the RX antenna, they're out of phase to THAT one. 'course, local reflections, a pair of dangly earrings, finger over the ant. etc. may nadger that. But, if we don't think phones for a while (after last Friday, hard not to!) but small basestations, talking to lappies, it may have merit. But, yeah, it's phones.
Personally, I'd have gone for polarisation diversity, which seems simpler (Tx. horizontal, RX vertical) or circular, Tx clock, Rx anti-clock.
But, hell, I'm an unemployed fartie. What do I know?
Apart from the town's wonderful name..Abinger Hammer
From the Article:-
<Last week a burglar snatched thousands of pounds from the tearooms in Abinger Hammer>
How the hell do you get thousands of pounds from a tearoom? I'd be expecting to be at a loss to get change for sixpence for a cuppa.
The place is a fuc*king village, FFS, that's so poor and destitute it can't even afford to repair its famous clock*.
Thousands of three-penny-bits would even be stretching it.
So, according to history..
We're looking at the demise of Nokia after Elop's announcement^W^W^W in about 72 hours.
NOW I need tinfoil to wrap the N8 up in.
PS, anyone wrapping up basestations?
Oh, yeah. That'll be Nokia Siemens Networks. Forgot.
I think there IS an app for that..
Understandably, on Nokia's OVI site. Get it while it's still live, folks.
Didn't want to post again on this, but...made me snort.
Helsingin Sanomat: (Newspaper - English version)
"According to Elop, one reason why Nokia decided against joining the Android clan was the fact that Nokia’s massive sales figures would have made Android a completely superior operating platform compared to anything else. This would have had a detrimental effect on free competition."
Errr?? D'ohhh? "Completely superior"? "Free competition"?
Now, maybe I understand Microsoft's contrition completely. Or, maybe I'm getting "Elop's Syndrome". Somewhere I've got 2 pencils and a clean pair of underpants. "Wibble".
And, like I said, Andrew O., there's meat on this bone.
Oh, what an article! Kudos for digging it up.
Unbelievable it's almost 11 years old..
Astounding bit of insight. Hope the author does well.
"Today, saturday, I searched all jobs in Finland with the keyword "Symbian". Got 14.
Tried this evening, hits at 5.
Mercifully, no hits for Sybian. Yet.
I call Muppet! A/C who hasn't worked for Nokia, except perchance in a cleaning capacity.
Now go back to stocking the shelves. They need 'facing'.
Still haven't got over my anger and utter disbelief.
Now, we have an ex-Microsoft EO controlling Nokia.
Complete tie-up with Microsoft.
Didn't the Nokia board read...
...before they let this muppet take charge?
OK. Now, I beseech our Esteemed Reg. Journalists to start having a 'wikileaks' spasm at Elop's previous work. Think this may turn out to be pre-planned, and carefully engineered.
Andrew Orlowski - there's a lot of meat on this bone, I believe. Just have to find where the dog has buried it.
Whatever, the man to surely blame is Jorma Ollila, for letting this happen. Part of me is beginning to wonder if he got a back-hander for this, but knowing (I thought) his integrity, it's unlikely.
My anger and incredulity, and that of my Finnish friends is indescribable. One foreigner has potentially screwed our job-prospects, pensions, social services (doubt the State can afford to pay as they used to), knock-on industries (e.g. Symbio.com, University degree courses offering QT/Symbian/linux development, etc..).
One guy can fuc*k us so bad, I almost want him hung, drawn and quartered. For his burning platform, I wish it had been here in the Frozen North. The surface of sea is a bit hard here at the moment....<KLUNK!>
Am I being melodramatic? Well, time will tell.
Ok, best not contribute to this any more. Too angry.
Oh, one further test.
On December 6, (Independence Day) the Finnish president (Current incumbent: Tarja Halonen) holds a banquet at the presidential palace, Helsinki.
Invited (amongst many other groups, veterans, etc, are all the leaders of industry which have contributed to Finland's success.
Jorma Ollila was a regular.
If Elop's not there, contributing to possibly 20,000 additions to the unemployment pool, I wouldn't be surprised.
I'd think he'd be as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.
Let's try a Litmus test...
Here in Nokia's homeland, we have a "jobcentre" called "mol.fi".
Now the interesting part is: Today, saturday, I searched all jobs in Finland with the keyword "Symbian".
Got 14 hits. That's extremely low. In Oulu alone, I used to see 10 or so, maybe most have been pulled already...
Guess I'll try it mid-next week, see how many come up. Bet: 0.
If you want to try the experiment yourselves, maybe :
...should be interesting.
"The Tree" has indeed gone, according to Goole's street view.
Of Elop's new office.
Nice sauna, followed by a pleasantly cooling dip...
"Spock" - the first communicator.
I think it was cemented- cast? - someplace in Tampere in a rock, behind a plaque.
It'll be there far, far longer than Nokia.
Having said that, I remember the hassle to move into Stanhope Road*, Camberley, with all the haste to present a professional image. e.g., get the mayor and some 'Finnish shouty' round to plant a Finnish birch tree, as a symbol of lasting growth.
Went tits-up in 5 years.
Wonder if the 'tree-of-growth" is still there, or massacred by its new owners. I understand car parking spaces are at a premium in UK. No need for a tree, when the CEO can park where it once was.
We - us Muppets - realised the problem long before, and quickly renamed it "No-hope road".
Hey, Savvy Investor!
Got a great share tip.
SCO. Can't fail. "To Teh Moon"
As Confucious is reported as saying
"Eat shit. A trillion flies not wrong."
Tens of thousands of Nokia investors not wrong, either, I guess...
Love the piccie of the two Cheshire Cats
Elop: "Hey, Steve, my bestest new mate. Seems I've no-where to sit in this photo-shoot.
Be a pal and lob us a cha.." OOPS!
Err, we used to say..
(Onkia = angling)
So, now NOKIA has rebranded itself, and renamed.
Ohhh...This is BAD!!! Worse than expected.
It couldn't be worse, IMHO.
So, probably I guess, I'll have to accept a download^Wdowngrade on my new, shiny Nokia N8 to Windows Phone. If that happens, they cane have the bloody thing back, as it's not what I signed my 2-year contract for.
I signed it for both the hardware AND the software/OS.
"• Nokia’s content and application store will be integrated with Microsoft Marketplace for a more compelling consumer experience." End of OVI. Embrace, Extend, Extinguish. See no mention of the trademarked word "OVI" (door) in the Open Letter. However, I DO see "Bing", and "adCenter" - both Microsoft trademarks - in the statement. Interesting - the guys at Ovi must be crapping themselves.
One thing the statement made that I totally agree with:
"We each bring incredible assets to the table." Webster's "Incredible: too extraordinary and improbable to be believed."
I guess from Websters, one can also use "compelling" as : 'demanding attention'. That'll be Symbian, then.
Mary and Niklaus keep their jobs. This week.
Phew, what a day!!
Isn't every computer a | D | I | G | I | T | A | L | computer?
Had that as a car-sticker once. (OK, some were analogue, but maybe the programs are archived on Philips Casette tape somewhere...)
Fond memories. PDP11/05? Loading boot with the switches so often, I reckon I could've done it in about a minute or so, no handbook required.
Then, watch that paper tape just WHIZZ!!!
Yowser! Took a computer-literate new G/F of mine, used to Cobal, punched cards and IBM to the 'control centre' one night.
No mention of using an LSI-11 to play "Zork" from a mag-tape cartridge? At least, it gave time to think...
A simple 2-hour flight for the Swedish Plods, on expenses, would be enough to question him.
Or, as Skelband says, this is the 21st century. UK Plods and Skype? Well, if it's too difficult for the plods to use Skype, dunno how they'll cope with airport "Elf and Soft Tea".
And for users who can't decide which OS to choose
Look: The "average" smartphone user is an unemployed bloke like me ^W^W^W^W^W^W businessman that need his phone (sorry, 'device' nowadays) for his work. Ask him about 'MeeGo' and, assuming you're from the Orient, will direct you to the toilet.
I've got an N8-00*, and until I read the article, didn't bloody know what OS it ran. Now I know it's Symbian^3. But still doesn't make me love it any less. Or more.
Does it do what it says on the tin? Yes? Does it work well? YES!
Well, I couldn't be fuc*ked if the thing's sky-blue pink**. Does the job.
*OK, on previous posts I've stated I've never seen the need for a phone to have 2 cameras, video, radio, MP3, WiFi, FM transmitter, output to HDTV, etc. but I've stopped thinking that way.
When I was a kid, a radio was a coil of wire on a bogroll, and a 1N94 (OA97??) germanium diode, coupled to crystal earphones. If you wanted your mates to hear the BBC World Service, or Radio Caroline, you'd drop the headphones into your mom's precious china bowl for amplification. Removing the petunias, natch. Later, our family wanted a phone. I think the standard model (bit like pink NHS spectacles) was called a "7-0-1", not to be confused with the eeepc.
And so onwards.
** Actually, I wanted an orange one, but the shop didn't stock them "No-one wants orange N8's Sir".
"Well, I fuc*king do, 'cos no Canute will nick the fuc*ker!!!!"
Better if Fry had described him...
...as the Original Coffin-Dodger™.
(Is there an app for that on iPhone yet?)
..it was a good one. You're firstly reading "You want Flied Lice with that?", I'm reading the agent of the gaff (Stephen FRY). THEN I got the "Flied Lice" bit.
Something about double-entendres.
That 'humour bypass' operation appears to have been a complete success.
Nice one, Simon.
Goodbye Nokia. Forever?
That'll seriously mean "Goodbye Finland, forever"
Some loss? Well, Britain's gone and no-one noticed, so just another bowl of petunias splatting on the planet.
THAT message should be merged into the original article, somehow.
Well put, Sir.
So what we're saying is that Nokia has hired a man who is, technically speaking, full of shit?
Not the first time.
Nokia, owner of Nokia Siemens Networks, hired an Auzzie/Brit, who - complete with buzzwords - managed to screw up a reasonably successful unit. I tried email@example.com, but it bounced. Maybe he's wisely moved on. Still, IIRC, the merger's only contractually got 2½ years left.
Windows? Not on MY 'phone. (Nokia N8-00)
Funnily enough I was having a chance chat with a bloke last night who is working with the MeeGo team. Coincidentally, hours after I'd bricked my Asus701 with loading it (v.1.1, worked on the stick, then didn't). Works sometimes, not-at -all others, and he reckoned the rival Android was the way to go.
He has a point.
Windows? Lockdown? Synonyms?? Think it'll be the final nail for Nokia's dominance if they go that route. Elop? Maybe not such a good choice after all.
Perchance she's a real swine.
Works both ways, sunshine. She might have a similarly equipped camera, and be checking to make sure your python (IT angle) is worth a syphon.
Which kinda obsoletes the old trick of a rolled-up pair of socks down your trousers in the nightclub.
(Down the front, natch!)
Beggars belief. Bit like a sales person taking a client out for lunch, expecting a multi-million-dollar order - to McDonalds.
Is that a browser in your trouser?
No, it's a "WOW!! Sir!!"
Running XP, SP3 and Fox 3.6.13, the removal of the 'oops - I've crashed again' on the pub 'puter would be welcome. Happens every 2-3 hours (sho I've been thold, Ossifer) but on my win lappie, doesnt. Ever. Memtest on the pub machine? Nothing, even overnight (OK, Ubuntu's memtest, but still good). Neither machine overclocked.
Oddly, the two are identical in S/W rev's, so I hope the number of 'oops' it's sent to Mozilla have been noticed, and been fixed on the new rev.
Must be a device driver conflict.
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