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* Posts by Martin Lyne

582 posts • joined 12 Nov 2007

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Earthworm Jim

Martin Lyne
FAIL

Re: This is getting boring.

Well, I guess the game was too hard for you so you gave up. Poor diddums.

Also, you're posting in every thread even if you despise teh topic makes your trolling/medal-hunting supremely obvious. Take your vitriol elsewhere.

</trollfeed>

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New York Times uses palpably fake pic to illustrate Syrian warfare

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Sci-Fi fans blow stacks at copybot attacks

Martin Lyne

Re: Sir

I love the skin suits.

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Internet Explorer needs fresh dev infusion for a full recovery

Martin Lyne

And it FEELS LIKE I AM JUST TO CLOSE TO LOOVE YOOUU (wub wub wub wub wub)

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Pay TV giant Hulu becomes victim of its own success

Martin Lyne
FAIL

Tried to find somewhere to pay to watch an episode of DS9 the other day.

Amazon US let you watch loads of TV for free if you'er a Prime member (good value for all that TV)

Amazon UK has nothing.

Blinkbox has nothing.

Netflix has nothing.

Cove of Convenient Content™ has them all.

It's fucking stupid living in a world where I want to pay the content creators for their works, but they don't let me.

*slow claps*

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Valve opens Steam store to non-gaming software

Martin Lyne

Deep discounts on decent products? Now.. that would be lovely.

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Airline leaves customer on hold for 15 hours

Martin Lyne

KKKKAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHNNNNNNN!

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Japanese fanboi builds FrankenPhone from 'bits of iPhone 5'

Martin Lyne

"Oddly, the headphone jack is located in the base of the FrankenPhone"

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/07/23/iphone_5_release_date

"The source chinoise also said that the headphone jack will be moved from the upper left to the lower left of the iPhone"

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Hidden Grand Canyon-sized ICE-HOLE hastens Antarctic melt

Martin Lyne

Ferrigno glacier, shown in green.. http://www.unleashthefanboy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/lou-ferrigno-as-the-hulk.jpg

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Gabe Newell: Windows 8 is a 'catastrophe' for PC biz

Martin Lyne
Megaphone

Re: I see what you did there!

You know...there are some of us who don't give a rat's arse about what you care about...at all.

No...REALLY.

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Why British TV drama is crap – and why this matters to tech firms

Martin Lyne

Perhaps everyones sick of fucking period dramas and fucking cop shows.

I demand more sci-fi for my license fee. Crowdsource the computational requirements to save money. I'd happily let my computer render a few frames a day to make something decent to watch.

Just keep the Dr Who writers away from it.

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Microsoft: Azure now holds FOUR TREELLION objects

Martin Lyne

Windows platform

Requires more crap to go with it. Thus: more objects. So, as mentioned before, all the Windows services being run on it, maybe they have rubbish de-duping.. a better metric might be customers per object? External customers.

How about "how much money these services make"?.

I thought Azure got rebranded anyway?

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Puny US particle punisher finds strong evidence for God particle

Martin Lyne

Re: Strongest indication yet!

The LHC is all about large, expensive circles.

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AWS CISO needs permission to visit his data centres

Martin Lyne

Re: Unannounced?

Er.. they would turn up unannounced, the guard would say "you were not announced, go away".

Tickbox one, check.

Then they'd rotate an auditor in as a new member of staff and get them to report on the other tick boxes.

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Descriptive Camera develops text instead of images

Martin Lyne

"Mechanical Turk".

So it sends him the picture and he types the response?

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Valve seeks geek to design 'platform hardware'

Martin Lyne

Re: What OS will run on it ?

It will* be a streaming platform, like OnLine.. so any. Moble, Linux, anything the client will run on.

Imagine being able to play footie manager 2012 on your tablet.

Imagine playing skyrim with your saves while you're visiting your mum.

I always wanted Steam to hook up with OnLive, this will probably be even better

* - might

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Sugar content now to be measured in Cadbury Creme Eggs

Martin Lyne

Modern eggs are inferior, the gooey fondant filling was far less sickly and more enjoyable to eat than the stodge-filling in current production.

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Reading plays host to live ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

Martin Lyne

Re: Reading is Zombie H.Q. all the time, everyday

I hail from this locale.

I can confirm the reports.

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Game files for administration

Martin Lyne

But.. where will I buy my Tractor simulators and Barbie™ riding school PC Games now?!

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PayPal slaps down Dr Who ‘charity book’

Martin Lyne

Kickstarter?

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Intel caught faking CES ultrabook gaming demo

Martin Lyne
Holmes
Read Error B. FFFFFUUUUUUU. If the netbook could handle playing the game smoothly, okay, maybe I'll believe that. But running a video recording app AND playing game in decent res at the max of it's spec? I'm willing to bet it was a video from different platform. Next time, have one with the game pre-loaded (we're not judging loading times) but paused (immediate impact!), or just admit it can't run it. Just look like amateurs now.
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Gamers grumble over Steam outage

Martin Lyne

When I come home drunk after being in the pub with my friends I like to play some games.

Not to mention a lot of users are probably below drinking age, and not much else to do on cold winter nights.

But thank's anyway.

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Steve Jobs action figure set for shop shelves

Martin Lyne

$30 for tiny iPhone 5 when it's released. Wouldn't want your iDol holdin gout of date technology, right?

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Lumia sales fail to set world alight

Martin Lyne

Is that Rhyd from CS by the way? If so, alright mate! If not.. I er, hope you're having a lovely day.

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Microsoft gives up on proprietary 2D barcode, accepts NFC

Martin Lyne
Meh

Unknown proprietary standard is pulled. Not a single fuck was given that day.

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OnLive Game System cloud gaming console

Martin Lyne
WTF?

I suppose you pay by cash for everything do you? Because, obviously the government would love to know what you've been buying so they can wrongly accuse you of things to lock you away (you are, after all, *extremely* threatening to their way of life)

But then, if the government wanted to lock you away for no good reason they could just claim you're terrorist, plant some books to corroborate and cart you off regardless of weather you had an expensive gaming rig or an onlive microconsole.

== On topic =====

I'm seriously considering the onlive console. Very impressed with the service when I tested it on my PC, even over wireless the quality was good (not excellent, sure, but one big factor for me is I can have my rig at home and leave the micro console at the girlfriends, with saves carried over twixt the two)

What would really make this service special if is Steam bought it. Imagine having most if not all of your Steam games readily accessible from any computer with the Onlive app installed, including phones! If the saves get synched too, that is a serious value enhancer for me. Playing football manager on the bus. Sword of the Stars in the bath. Good. Times.Great for festive period when you can't take your rig to familial gatherings far away.

THe only thing I'd like to have confirmed is ability to use Xbox controllers with it. Never agreed with "analog sticks in the middle". Serious cramp-maker. For marathon FIFA sessions, need relaxing hand position.

I wish OnLive all the best and hope to help them on their way soon!

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Antarctic ice formed at CO2 levels much higher than today's

Martin Lyne

CO2 != The only greenhouse gas

Just sayin'.

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Tablets to outship regular notebooks by 2016

Martin Lyne

Organic eye-squid interfaces to outsell snargleblahs by 2101!

New form factors *will appear*. Prepare to have wasted your time predicting nonsense.

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Skyrim update makes dragons FLY BACKWARDS

Martin Lyne

These ones clearly aren't superior. I frequently find them flying into trees/mountains, making no progress. Seems direction facing and velocity are not linked in the AI. So it thinks "I'm flying east!" but its body actually makes it fly west.

When they die they fly off at warp speed to the horizon too. If it weren't such a brilliant game otherwise then, strangely, I wouldn't mind so much. But being brought our of immersion to try to aim an arrow directly in the to rapidly approaching rectum of a flying, fire-breathing reptile..

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Martin Lyne

Mine continued to fly around whilst technically dead. Then warped off into a mountain. I chased it to find it back at half health. "Killed" it again. If flew backwards at about Mach 1 and never returned.

Dragons were fine for me last week.

(PC, Steam version here)

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Facebook now has 1,000 times the referrals of Google+

Martin Lyne

If Google gave £500 to sites to add a G+ share button, that might help. I either rarely see them or have developed a blindspot.

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NASA mini-sat parachutes to a halt in space, prangs into atmos

Martin Lyne

THe headline makes it sound like it reduces current rubbish, but it actually just prevents itself from being rubbish in future.

Seems like more hassle than a small rocket to push it out of orbit instead of hacking around in orbit for weeks while a giant sail slows it down.

The sail is presumably nowhere near strong enough to stop high-speed debris.

I suppose if it is pre-accelerated to the debris-in-question's speed and then gets n front of it and deploys sail the interaction could be gentle enough for sail to survive. More likely to send sail-sat spinning off and colliding with other junk though.

My tuppence.

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Martin Lyne

Oh there was a video.. oops

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Lovefilm dumps Flash, BLINDS Linux fans with Silverlight

Martin Lyne

The film and music industry still wont get it when it's written on their tombstones.

"It" being "modern technology".

Silverlight is dying soon - great platform choice, retards. (Not mention obvious MS-based, limited userbase fail)

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Groupon offer burns cupcake baker’s profits

Martin Lyne

I despair. If you know your profit margin, try not to completely undercut yourself by advertising huge discount on massively popular website. The purpose is to drive people to your store. If something goes better than anticipated it shouldn't result in business turmoil.

Try 25% next time.

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Just trolling: It's OK to poke fun at Christians, says ASA

Martin Lyne

If one part of an instruction manual said to me "sorry, the last 5 pages were just an analogy so you could understand what we meant, undo everything you just did and start again. The rest is true WE PROMISE"

I would not continue reading or believing.

Just saying.

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Bethesda promises fix for Skyrim Xbox graphics glitch

Martin Lyne

Compared to Battlefield 3 this release has gone amazingly. Not crashed once and hours of fun, even the other half enjoyed playing it. Back to it!

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NEWSFLASH: Chips cheaper than disks

Martin Lyne

Someone should really warn him that SSDs have limited read/write cycles. If he keeps reinstalling everything he'll be left with nothing*.

*I've never actually seen/heard this occur, yet.

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Jobs neck and neck with 'angry people' for Time award

Martin Lyne

Just a little heads up - these people don't want to be rich beyond imagining. They want to stop banks being irresponsible, wasting taxpayers money and spiralling us into another greed-fuelled recession.

Protesting is the only method left to "go out and do" that.

The protest might not achieve its core aim - but it can raise awareness and stop people thinking they can do nothing to influence the system that supposedly works "for us" (but is most definitely funded by us)

If I had to choose between more protesters or more bankers. I'll take the protesters thanks. One protester fucking up means a tent burns down. One banker fucking up can bring down all of goddamned "civilisation".

I'm not even going to go near the Arab Spring. People rebelling against oppressive governments. Pretty much the definition of "going out there and doing it".

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MC Hammer getting into search business

Martin Lyne

"Under the MC Hammer"

Welcome to accidental porno territory.

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Google planning major upgrades to Google+ ‘within days’

Martin Lyne

We just started using Google Apps to work collaboratively, I'm far more excited bout a spreadsheet than a mere developer should be. The days of asking people to close a shared xls file are over, thank fuck. Much easier to use than the bloody pissing Ribbon too.

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Martin Lyne

"By Christmas we'll track you in even more ways! Ho Ho Ho" - there, fixed it for both of you

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Another World 20th Anniversary Edition

Martin Lyne

My first well planned fortress.. mined one square too deep and everyone got flushed outside by cave crocs, only to rush into a large goblin/troll siege. Watching my last military dwarf single handedly kill 3 trolls was a wonderful sight. Before the got injured, ran off and cried in a corner til he bled to death while the children were butchered all around him. Epic.

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US dating site has no 'goodwill' trademark rights in UK

Martin Lyne

I can concur that a majority of the female users are in fact "offish". Thair loss. Plenty MORE fish in the sea.

etc. etc.

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HTC's iPhone, iPad ban bid derailed by US judge

Martin Lyne

Let us not forget: Apple started this blocking nonsense. Admittedly the Samsung tablet does look just like an iPad, but the mobiles are all being blocked on spurious terms.

Here's hoping ait all blows over soon and we can get back to using our consumer power to determine what gets bought and what doesn't.

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Valve chief says Apple will own your living room

Martin Lyne

Mmm. Apple crumble.

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Intel touts energy-use gadgetry for planet admirers

Martin Lyne
Childcatcher

"the climate in Europe was much more favourable"

I see what you did there.

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HTC Evo 3D Android smartphone

Martin Lyne

Could it be, perhaps, that you;re the wrong distance away? Or struggling against the 3d effect?

At first I found my Evo 3D uncomfortable to view 3D in but as I got better at using the camera and knowing how far to hold it form my face to get the best view of the parralax, it works a treat. All about the sweet spot.

----

The file format is simple enough (2 side by side pictures), I struggle to imagine competition using more obscure formats, so hopefully 3D sharing will be better in future.

I've replaced Sense with a selection of Launchers to enable 5 column icons etc. No issues with paint flaking, dropped it several times and no damage yet.

It is heavier and less glamorous looking than the SonyEric Androids, but the 3D gimmick is fun to play with.

3D is the only reason to go for this phone, as such, I wouldn't recommend it over a Sensation or Desire HD.

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Designer pitches game arcade laundry

Martin Lyne
Childcatcher

I can't even play games i nth same room as a washing machine on its spin cycle, shakes my whole flat. Trying to play a game atop one.. foolhardy.

If the large wheel adds energy to the drum (erducing electiricty use and giving it some force-feedback) then.. ah who am I kidding, the benefit is all but eliminated by the computer behind it and the fact it's stupid so nobody would play it anyway.

But still, I like the R2D2 styling and the mad-as-shit thinking. Keep mixing shit together and you may end up with a winner.

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MPs: 999 HQ revamp FAIL cost £469m

Martin Lyne

I'd love to see a breakdown of those costs. How much were the consultants?

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