* Posts by Frumious Bandersnatch

1928 posts • joined 8 Nov 2007

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

All right! I'm actually DOING IT! I'm CHECKING MY EMAIL!

I just wish there was someone here to see how clever I am :(

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

As a non-interventionist God, Yaweh has plenty of time to chat with buddies Thor, Zeus, Shiva and the gang over IRC.

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Fair warning, Windows 10---this is my smiting finger!

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

"Hmmm... That's kind of ironic. I always thought I'd use an Apple-branded computer"

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

If God is in (say) the desert, and nobody sees him, does he really exist?

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Where the hell did that 'chair' button get to?

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

What this "desert of the real" needs is guns. Lots of guns.

0
0

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Why yes, I have other inventions. In behind this I have my collection of L-shaped sofas. Lower case.

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

re: "not even the dead mouse the snake rejected because it was in shed."

re "in shed"---huh? I just noticed this. Did you just steal my joke from last week (a pun on Slough) and take it as your own? For shame!

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Aaaaand still with "SexyCyborg"'s bid over the Internet. Going once ...

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

<off topic>

The jellyfish, slightly perplexed

Jellyfish don't have brains, though. Just saying...

</off topic>

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

BOFH Moss was sure he'd sorted out the minor spontaneous combustion issue, but just to be sure he roped in one of the beancounters to activate it while he monitored from the safety of his Skype link. He lingered expectantly at the back just in case there was another "golf" incident.

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

So as you see, the echolocation system emits a burst from here and a 3d reconstruction is mapped onto the user's breast via a network of electrodes.

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Intel's "Bra-Z-Air" also includes heating elements.

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Just over 50 years after the original "Wonderbra", Intel pitches in with "I wonder what the hell they were thinking" concept.

1
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Thanks to the magic of voice recognition, it opens with a simple "aBra cadaBra".

2
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

hackers defeat "chastity" mode in 5, 4, 3 ...

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Geeks rejoice!

Smartphone-based bra unlock set to completely eliminate defer the awkwardness of groping around in the dark not having a fucking clue what they're supposed to be doing.

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?

2
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

I, for one, approve of new methods of getting women into technology.

1
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Fully supports, POKE and PEEK on mammary addresses

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

So that's what those SQUID things from those WIlliam Gibson novels look like.

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

The smart bra includes extra dangly bits for your dangly bits.

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Don't tase me, bra!

1
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

It also does some sort of smart/IoT type thing. For no apparent reason.

1
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

New bra allows Red Dwarf fans to say "well twist my nipple nuts" without looking like a right tit.

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

I was NOT looking at your breasts. I was just checking out your cool smart bra.

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Intel to outsource manufacturing to S3 (Silicon Support Services)

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Smart bras today, teledildonics tomorrow.

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

We all know that fashion designers have really weird ideas---but wrapping tables in brown paper? WTF?

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Hacker, Tailor, Solderer Mai

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

go low bra for a better chance to win

0
0

PETA monkey selfie lawsuit threatens wildlife photography, warns snapper at heart of row

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

simple defence

Claim that the monkey never made an informed decision to allow PETA et al to represent him.

1
0

Happy birthday to you, the ruling was true, no charge for this headline, 'coz the copyright's screwed

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Oh frabjous day!

Callooh Callay!

1
0

Thanks for the memory: XPoint put under the analyst microscope

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

applications

I can see one very useful application for this in (true) RAID controllers and generically as a persistent write cache for slower SSD and spinning disks. These applications already exist using different technological means to achieve their goals, and I guess that this new form of RAM will streamline a lot of disparate uses and cause some interesting unifications.

Examples of what I'm talking about:

* "real" RAID controllers have battery-backed write cache that can ensure data consistency by flushing the cache after the system power failure is sorted out

* likewise, many (or at least some) SSDs use a faster form of flash as a write cache

* similarly, hybrid SSD/HDD drives use the faster flash as a write cache (and maybe read cache, too)

* using ext4, you can create an external journal that's stored on an SSD (or similar fast, persistent storage) to get around 2x to 3x better write performance (and still maintain quick crash recovery)

Basically anything that includes any sort of write-ahead log (including databases) should get a very nice boost in write speeds, as least for bursty writes. You'll always be limited by the write speed of the slowest device in the chain if you're doing sustained writes, but with a large enough cache many workloads will never fill it up.

I hope that this ends up being something that ends up just being another resource (like RAM and SSDs) that operating systems will be able to arbitrate the use of rather than it just being closed off within specific bits of hardware like disks and such.

2
0

NIST's quantum boffins have TELEPORTED stuff over a HUNDRED KILOMETRES

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Re: And after

Imagine, if you will, instant communication of any amount of data over any distance.

Adnim was the first in here to contradict your view that it opens up the idea of instant communications, but didn't explain why. I'll give it a shot.

First, there's the concept of "spooky action at a distance" whereby measuring one half of entangled pair instantaneously(*) causes the other half to settle on a value. This all happens in the quantum realm where the pair exists in a "superposition" of states before measurement and measurement "causes" (**) it to collapse into a single state.

Where it gets tricky is trying to use this for communication. If Alice and Bob have some method of producing a stream of entangled pairs and transporting both halves, you might think that some information can be encoded in each pair that the other party can read. In fact, that's not the case: the value of a measurement at either end has zero intrinsic informational content at all. The problem is that if you try to incorporate some information into the pair, then it counts as a measurement and the system as a whole collapses into a classical, non-quantum state.

But that doesn't mean that quantum effects can't be used as part of a communication scheme. The idea here is that Alice and Bob both set up similar apparatus for measuring some property of the entangled pair. Usually entangled photons are used, and the measuring apparatus involves using polarising filters that can be rotated. When the photon is measured at the receiving end, this measurement has no intrinsic information content since the receiver has no way of knowing how the sender set up their polarising filter. It's only by sharing their setup and results after the experiment that Bob can know what Alice was trying to encode, and that communication has to be purely classical and so is limited by the speed of light. Each trial like this has a 50% chance of not providing any information at all due to the random alignment of Bob's filter, so they need 2n trials to send n bits. Also, 2n bits need to be sent along the classical channel for each trial.

The benefit of "quantum" information transfer isn't that it's faster than light, but that it's impossible to eavesdrop without collapsing the state of the system before Bob gets to read the state of it. Plus, it's a validation that quantum effects are actually real.

* or nearly instantanous, as far as we can measure, but definitely faster than the speed of light. See

http://www.gizmag.com/quantum-entanglement-speed-10000-faster-light/26587/

** "causes" is in quotes because this isn't classical causality. We can only strictly describe the how measurement and collapse are related with a weaker "where this, also that" construct. This also opens up huge questions about how classical physics relates to the quantum world and what, in fact, the nature of things really is---the various Many Worlds theorems arise because of this fundamental gap in our understanding of how quantum states collapse.

1
0

Ouch! Microsoft sues recycling firm over 70K stolen Office licenses

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Re: good ole Arizona

Rise up, unemployed Arizonans, McParadise is here!

You may laugh now, but if Bill Hicks is right and California slides into the ocean (like the mystics and statistics say it will), Arizona will have a huge amount of prime seafront property to get rich off.

3
0

CHEAT! Volkswagen chief 'deeply sorry' over diesel emission test dodge

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

I must admit

I was wondering what the big deal was about nitrous oxide. I thought it was only really harmful to dentists (who partake too much).

Of course, I misread. N2O != NOx obviously. I am silly.

(Oh, and kids: just say N2O drugs)

2
0

Salon Privé: The UK's billionaire-friendly answer to Pebble Beach

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge
Happy

"two commas in the price" ... "For a tenth of that you’ll get the Tesla P85D"

Oooh. Only 0.2 commas. I think my budget can stretch that far.

0
1

AWS outage knocks Amazon, Netflix, Tinder and IMDb in MEGA data collapse

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Re: Aha

[Lawrence of Arabia] is just so bloody long

And wide, too. A 2.20:1 aspect ratio in its original 70mm form, to be exact. A bitch to watch on a 1.33 ratio HD screen, sans doute.

1
1

We are the Knights who code Ni!

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

Re: I don't quite understand ...

Sounding like you couldn't be bothered to look at the language ...

I generally like your rants, Michael, but seriously, what's with the ad hominem? The OP is clearly making a general point about new languages (not this one) and makes no bones about the fact that he's possibly being cynical and a curmudgeon (something you yourself mentioned in your OP).

So have an upvote for your original post, and a thumbs down for that one :(

0
0
Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

barely more legible than INTERCAL? (and never as polite)

But of course INTERCAL will throw a fit if you're too polite, too.

0
0

It's alive! Farmer hides neglected, dust-clogged server between walls

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

something similar

Was called in to a factory to look at a PC doing CNC duties (probably not directly) for cutting up various wooden sheets to size. The PC was in the same area as all the cutting equipment and it was apparently being controlled by software stored on a floppy disk. The whole thing apparently had no IPS rating. Needless to say, I had to tell them I couldn't fix it.

0
0

Crash Google Chrome with one tiny URL: We cram a probe in this bug

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

double-decoding bug, eh?

It's been a while since I've seen one of those.

0
0

Microsoft has developed its own Linux. Repeat. Microsoft has developed its own Linux

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

re: systemd ... parallelises the startup procedure

The thing is, that functionality is trivially implemented by adding like two scripts to your system. Let's call them 'await' and 'provide' for the sake of illustration. The 'await' script blocks until some other part of the system calls 'provide' after setting up the matching service. If you want you can have a third script that does static analysis of the boot scripts to make sure that every 'await' has a matching 'provide' and that there aren't any dependency loops (or potential race conditions, perhaps). You could easily also put such dependency information in a comment section (like upstart, I think) so that analysis is easier and quicker.

The problem is that systemd wants to take over your entire system and the supposed killer feature of faster boot times has become basically irrelevant to most users (thanks to suspend/hibernate and fast SSDs).

1
0

Internet Doomsday scenario: How the web could suddenly fall apart

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

archaic spellings, was Re: Domesday scenario?

I know this is a bit OT (we're quite some time from the 5th of November, for one), but the word "bonfire" was originally "bone-fire". It might seem a bit of a pointless factoid except for (a) burning Guy Fawkes in effigy and (b) modern Irish still uses "tine chnámh" (literally "bone fire").

Anyway, I guess I'm just chyming in to support your regurgitation of obsolete/archaic/obscure words. You never know, it might end up giving them a resurgence in use.

4
0

D-Link spilled its private key onto the web – letting malware dress up as Windows apps

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

can't sign with an expired key?

Why ever not? I'm thinking that in the worst case you just manually set the time, do the signing and then reboot? The fact that you say that existing signed code will continue to work suggests that any safeguards around expired keys are on the signing end, and surely it's possible to get around any restrictions?

1
0

BOFH: Press 1. Press 2. Press whatever you damn well LIKE

Frumious Bandersnatch
Silver badge

good, but not *completely* original

http://lwn.net/2001/0621/a/kernel-adventure.php3

But then, great bastards steal (while those merely "good" borrow). Plus, the comedy is weak in the ESR.

0
0

Forums