* Posts by Frumious Bandersnatch

1928 posts • joined 8 Nov 2007

Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Boy, those schmoes at Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo are gonna be mincemeat when my lawyers get through with them. Nobody gets to use my joystick patent unless I say they can!

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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The proton beam safety shaver worked perfectly. Well, apart from not being able to distinguish between beards and users' braces. Still, good enough for indiegogo.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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"Say, doll, you got some pretty nice flange action goin' on there. How's about interfacing with me sometime?"

--Cyberdating in the 1920s

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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So you're a Dalek here to exterminate me, eh? Well I am Devo and I'm gonna have your plunger for a hat, see.

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Hello?

My face is down here!

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Laptops these days ... they'll even make you one with the Internet.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Right, that's step one for curing hiccups done. Damn. Now I can't read step 2. *hic* :(

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Are you "lumbared" with a crappy aspect ratio? You're not the only one!

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Chuffed with adding gait analysis to its self-destructing phones, the FBI begins porting to laptops.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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No, Margery, Yoga is just an effin brand name.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Siri, search webmd for "piles".

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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After splashing out on a new Apple laptop, Sarah was determined not to "hold it wrong".

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Setting up a transparent proxy to send all traffic through www.upsidedowntext.com: always good for a laugh.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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One of the new Facebook status icons: it's complicated.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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After deleting the last of the last of her German friends' contacts from her address book, Alice finally reached nirvana: Hans-free computing.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Have you tried turning it off and on again?

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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I find your lack of furniture ... disturbing. And yet strangely arousing.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Woooo... I'm LEVITATING my LAPTOP.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Boffins dubbed this new, rare form of dyslexia "8ƐƖƖXH⊥"

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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To understand computer programming, first you have to understand that they are really dumb. In order to code, have to bring yourself down to their level.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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You wouldn't believe the lengths that SwastikaGirl69 (real name Claire Godwin) went to to find her other half on Internet dating sites.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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This gesture unlock business is getting ridiculous.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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How real fans listen to Coldplay's "A rush of blood to the head"

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Finally, a way to use the webcam that banishes embarrassing nostril hair from the shot!

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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I hate Internet posers.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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This new gesture-based emoji input is taking a bit of getting used to.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Parents everywhere justified: proof of what happens when you're always too close to the screen.

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German surfers blitzed by widespread malvertising campaign

Frumious Bandersnatch
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VMWare used to offer a VM with Firefox installed a number of years back. Seems like a pretty good idea since for most people, the web browser is going to be the main point of entry for nasties. The link to follow seems to be this one, though it points to an external site (http://browser.shell.tor.hu/) that I'd never heard of before.

Still, most readers here probably don't need for someone else to package up things for them. It's easy to install a minimal OS and browser in a free VM systems (eg, VirtualBox) or do the same with Docker. Most malware won't be aware that it's running in a virtualised environment, and even if it is, it probably won't have any exploits to allow it to escape.

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Experts ponder improbable size of Cleopatra's asp

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Joke

Re: Slapper?

There is no continent called 'America'.

There's a first. A geography lesson from a septic. I wonder why all the downvotes ...

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El Reg celebrates Back to the Future Day

Frumious Bandersnatch
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"Doc, I'm putting the band back together"

"What, 'Enchantment under the sea?'. Good for you"

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Yes, it's a special blend I put together from Ethiopian coffee beans and willow bark. It's highly salicey, aye.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Reg Readers: amazingly primitive people who think that a digital watch as a prize is a pretty neat idea.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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<product-placement>If you're not drinking Folgers coffee, you're probably drinking yak piss</product-placement>

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Spengler: Don't cross the streams, Marty.

Marty: You mean like th-- KRRRZTHP!

Doc: Beetlejuice?

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Think, goddam you, Marty, think. You must remember what the winning caption contest entry was. Otherwise how are we gonna get that flux capacitor (watch)?

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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It was immediately obvious to Doc Brown that this visitor was no alien due to the keen interest he was taking in his digital watches.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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"This Doc Brown"is a real two-tie fruity", thought Marty. "Wop bop a loo bop a lop bom boom!"

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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An awkward silence filled the air, but both men knew better than to fill it with observations about fashion sense. Not after what happened the last time.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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So it's your birthday, eh? I'd sing you our special birthday song only now that we've lost the copyright on it, it's hardly "special" any more.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Do you like bisgetti?

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Oh no, us Time Wombles hate to see old stuff thrown out. Take these "cups" for example. Found them in a milking parlour.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Sorry for the colour. The toaster got infected last week and I think it spread to the coffee maker.

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Temperature of Hell drops a few degrees – Microsoft emits SSH-for-Windows source code

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Re: Good.

but Microsoft has ported some of it to CentOS, Debian GNU/Linux, Oracle Linux, Red Hat Enterprise Linux, SUSE Linux Enterprise Server, and Ubuntu Server

But they're all just "Linux". I don't see the point in saying that they ported to this distro and that one when they're all essentially the same target assuming they use standard tools like autoconf.

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Let's talk about that NSA Diffie-Hellman crack

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Re: Hard coded primes?

I can't believe that we'd leave such an obvious vulnerability

The thing is, it wasn't obvious. Lots of talented people have looked at the algorithm since it was first published and it was believed that the choice of prime didn't adversely impact the security of the algorithm in a way that was practical enough to exploit. Kind of like how HMAC constructions are believed to be secure even with slightly dodgy/insecure hash functions as the building block.

This is a good result. It doesn't mean that the DH key exchange protocol is fundamentally broken, I think. It will definitely need some tweaks to eliminate this vulnerability completely, and in the meanwhile I expect that we'll see a flurry of papers with people proposing different approaches to mitigating the weakness in short order.

It's also great to know what the "bad guys" (the guys with the most CPU power and storage space) are up to, since up until this point we didn't really know how they might be approaching the problem.

You may still feel that it's wrong that the vulnerability was there in the first place, but maths and cryptography is an uncertain business. Things take time to crack, then we understand why, and only then can we try to fix those faults. Nothing can ever be guaranteed to be completely secure and future-proof (except maybe quantum crypto). We just have to use the best tools available to us at any given time and balance it against the risk of future (or unknown present) attacks.

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Apple ordered to write a $234m check to uni in A7 chip patent spat

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Yoda standing on the sideline

now right scheming surely is.

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Nippy, palaver and cockwomble: Greatest words in English?

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Re: big words not always better

but wasn't it "of the visual"?

I think so. That's why I put a * in front of "aural" (to point out my misquote/mistake). Works with all the senses.

(Actually, just checked and it's "visible", so I should really have said "audible")

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