* Posts by Frumious Bandersnatch

1495 posts • joined 8 Nov 2007

BOFH: Power corrupts, uninterrupted power corrupts absolutely

Frumious Bandersnatch
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I always thought that "optimising the idle loop" was a no-no

I learned something useful from the BOFH today.

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Despite a dreadful week in which his pet fish had died and a storm had ripped a large branch of his favourite tree, leaving it blocking the driveway, Cadbury the meerkat was not overly despondent. "I'll kill two birds with one stone," he thought. "Percy needs a proper burial", he reasoned, "and that large log will make a fitting monument to him---I can use it as his tombstone". He set to work and with a few hours of digging and then rolling the enormous log into position, he had completed his task.

Exhausted, a satisfied smile crossed his face as he surveyed his work. "Yes," he thought, "I'm really happy with what I've done with the plaice."

(with apologies to PKD and, well, everyone)

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Now if I can just push this Ashley Madison log into the river

The torrents will take care of the rest

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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so this meerkat walks in and sits down at the bar

The barman turns and says "hey, is this some kind of joke or something?"

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Re: Sigh

By the time the moderator has finally read my entry the prize will have been given away

You're supposed to enter this week's competition, not last week's one.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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bricks n mortar outlets still struggling to compete with online cat à logs

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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This is why we can't have nice things

The meerkats have them all.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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"For last time"

I not silly accent. This Soviet Russia --- silly accent you!

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Please "go compare"

"over there"

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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There were far worse fates that could befall a meerkat

But accidentally super-gluing ones hands to a log was among the most embarrassing.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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And now on meerkat news

We have winner meerkat caption contest.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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It's not easy being a meerkat

No, wait. It's absolutely brilliant being a meerkat!

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Igor's eyes were saying

"how witty and urbane of you, Mr. Bond" but his hands were saying "now if I can just push this log down this hill and knock you into the shark-infested pond, I will be rid of you forever!"

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Anton tried hard not to look surprised

which was hard for him as "looking surprised" was basically his entire repertoire.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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eh, sorry, no cheddar, sir

I'm afraid we don't get much call for it around these parts.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Pretend to look busy

Meerkat Jesus is coming!

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Premier Mirkova poses for the cameras with girlfriend Anastasia at Tatra National Park in Liberated Poland.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Damn it Jim!

I'm a meerkat, not a beaver!

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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keyboard cat had to start somewhere

In fact, he started with a one-key xylophone.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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re last weeks prize

With nearly a dozen entries, I was sure I'd win the prize. Or that at least one would get an honourable mention.

In fact, no pun in ten did :(

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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This new iLog thing is brilliant for resting my hands on. Now, where shall we have lunch?

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128TB SSD by 2018? Toshiba promises much, delivers ... a little

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Re: Re. perpetual right to watch a movie

So tell me why my Raspberry Pi's root filesystem needs to pay royalties again?

Because you made an inexplicable decision to format it as FAT with long filenames instead of ext[234]?

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Re: "and a few enthusiasts looking for speed in such things a gaming."

You don't need to explain ... <snip>

In other words, "use junctions"

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Pwn2Own Tokyo hacking contest trashed, US export rules blamed

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Been there... bought the tee shirt

Couldn't they try taking a leaf ot of Phil Zimmermans book and just print the code on T-shirts? There's only a ban on softwear.

Oh, wait...

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Microsoft backports data slurp to Windows 7 and 8 via patches

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Re: Disable CEIP?

Why does hard-coding a DNS name prevent the TCP stack from using the hosts file entries as part of its name resolution process?

You need to stay in more often.

If all you have is an IP address, hosts is bypassed. If you have a fully-qualified (or partially qualified) domain name like microsoft.com or localhost, then hosts.txt or the DNS server is involved in the translation into an actual IP address.

Apparently what the quote in the OP above means is that the FQDN "settings-win.data.microsoft.com" bypasses both hosts and DNS-based name resolution.

That being the case, the only way to squelch the traffic is to add custom routing rules (probably at the router rather than the PC, just to be sure) for any/all IP addressed associated with that address. With the way things are going, we'll probably also find that there's a custom MS DNS server involved as well whose sole purpose is to resolve that address, so that will probably need to be blackholed too

How did things get to this stage so soon?

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Ashley Madison: ‘Our site is full of women, and members are growing’

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Re: "members are growing"

To quote TMBG, "you're older than you've ever been / and now your even older (x a bunch of times)"

So it's perfectly correct to claim that their members are growing (unless they're dead, but then ipso facto they're not members any more)

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Canned laughter for Canadians selling cans of air at $15 a pop

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Reminds me of the "air inspectors" segment of

Tales from the Golden Age.

In fact, that segment (the best of them, IMO) seems to be called "The Legend of the Air Sellers".

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Another chance to win a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive

Frumious Bandersnatch
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I am a normal human

Typing with my human hands.

7oo me7a? I could probably scour b3ta or fark...

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Deadly Spiders 2

"Hair Happerent"

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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looking over your shoulder

--- It's not just for paranoid freaks!

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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"so you want me to pose for a stock photo?"

"and you want me to bare my shoulder?"

"and have a spider crawling on me?"

"and have me look really scared?"

"What kind of sicko would pay money for a photo like that!?"

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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"It's just ..." Janet began, then trailed off.

She knew what she had to do and yet Howard was just so sensitive. It was obvious that she would have to be delicate with him---there was no way of knowing how he would respond to the brush-off.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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(the last two to be read as a diptych, natch)

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Obvious Outcome with Ornery Octopod

Antsy Arthropod Attacks Advertising Actress

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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"so just to clarify"

I can get this amazing 6Tb WD Black drive for free and all I have to do is put this spider on my shoulder? What's the catch?

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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No one would have believed ...

in the first years of the 21st century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligence-

AGGHGHHH A SPIDER!

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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<em>That's</em> a spider

Actor Paul Hogan arrested at web conference. Guest speaker turns terrorist as audience member recounts memorable 80's catchphrase "one too many times"

Omnishambles "could have been prevented", admit organisers.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Australian Tourist Board to launch Dropbear Awareness campaign

Warns visitors to remain alert to true menace even while being marauded by other deadly species.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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After a series of frustrating encounters on dating websites (how could he forget his disappointment with the lady and her "chocolate lab"?), Roger decides to filter out all leggy brunettes as a preventive measure.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Pauline McLynn to open new dating hints website for women

Press treated to sneak preview of her patented "over-the-shoulder comether" technique.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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with mounting horror

it began to dawn on fashion student Celeste that her chosen accessory was not quite the right shade of grey.

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Honor 7 – heir apparent to the mid-range Android crown

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Re: That says it all

three essential human requirements are shelter, sex and food

I always thought it was "flax, fodder, fire and frigg" (4 requirements) but web searches turn up a load of Wicca sites (and others) talking about "flags" for some reason.

I wish my landline had a "fuck off I'm cooking/eating" setting.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Re: I have an "Honor" 6

Do they spell honour correctly when attempting to sell these things outside the US of A?

If your name happens to be "Honor Blackman", then yes.

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Malware menaces poison ads as Google, Yahoo! look away

Frumious Bandersnatch
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Re: Online Ads Not Malware???

Much evilness is in the URL-rewriting

Google search results also do the same thing. Check it out and see.

As a user of Google search, I've made the decision that letting them store (most of) my queries is an acceptable price to pay for the usefulness of the search results. I draw the line at them knowing which link(s) I've chosen from among the search results. To stop this URL-rewriting I use Greasemonkey and the "Google Link Cleanup" script.

URL-rewriting is evil, Google.

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Frumious Bandersnatch
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Re: Looking at the problem backwards

Ensure the code for the adverts is sent to the publisher to be published. They can then automate the screening of the code for re-directions (and embedded malware).

I was thinking of something like this myself. Recently I was bemoaning how Flash became such a cesspit because it allowed arbitrary code to be run, and how a more declarative programming language would have solved all the problems. That approach could still be the answer to the problem of "malvertisement". There would be sections for all the graphics "assets" and some basic scripting language that allowed for interactivity. In fact, SVG + this new scripting language would fit the bill nicely.

The language spec and interpreter would have to be designed so that it was impossible to, eg, smash the stack or call itself recursively. As for redirects to an external website, these would have to be declared in a static part of the SVG file, so there would be no chance to modify them or obfuscate them. No other external assets would be loadable from the ad itself.

Providing there's no underlying bug in the SVG or interpreter for the scripting language, then at least the ad itself would be easily vetted (both by the site that will embed the ad and the user who is being asked to view them). What happens after the redirect is, unfortunately, still beyond the control of the person showing the ad (if there is malware hosted there, it can be sensitive to context such as the HTTP referrer field or cookies stored on the viewer's machine) but at least the ad itself would be safe so long as nobody clicked through, and other means (such as black/whitelisting or some sort of trust rating) could be used to give some assurance that the target site won't be hosting malware.

No re-directions, no malware

Unfortunately, with a general-purpose language like ActionScript (ie, Flash) or Javascript, deciding what URL the ad ultimately redirects to is nearly impossible without actually running the code (thanks to their ability to obfuscate and 'exec' bits of code dynamically or implement self-modifying code). Further, even running through a simulator, if any external data/assets are involved, those parts can detect whether it's a real user (who they want to infect) or the simulator (in which case the malware side is disabled). So (a) ads have to redirect or else they're worthless to the advertiser, and (b) the current techniques or providing the redirect URL are fundamentally insecure.

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Win10 PCs still stuck on slow boat from China, warehouses empty

Frumious Bandersnatch
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refused to comment?

That's a bit strong, innit? Did you try "ah gwannn, ah gwann, ... ?"

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German spies sold out citizens to the NSA in exchange for super-snoop-ware XKeyscore

Frumious Bandersnatch
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would this be a good time

to ask again when we get an extra 's' in front of www.theregister.co.uk?

(he said, sneakily avoiding automatic keyword scanners)

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French woman gets €800 a month for electromagnetic-field 'disability'

Frumious Bandersnatch
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"in addition to the magical stones and healing ointments"

I know this is slightly OT, but frankly, I find it embarrassing going into health food shops for much the same reason. Sure, I don't mind if they cater to whatever the latest nutritional fads might be. These "superfoods" might be useful if you balance them out with other required vitamins and amino acids and whatnot, but they're not going to harm anything except your wallet. The same goes for most of the tinctures or tonics that have some active ingredient (though just because it's "natural" or "organic" doesn't mean it can't have side-effects or be damaging if taken to excess). But fuck, a lot of the other shite they sell (and often the advice they give to punters) should have warning labels on them. A case in point: on one of my last visits I was given a handout for some "iridology" workshop at the checkout. Only politeness prevented me from pointing out that it's a steaming pile of crap.

We also have anti-vaxers who are really into getting measles and dying. It's nice.

That's fine (if we're both prepared to be flippant about kids dying) so long as not too many people believe the anti-vaccine FUD. Herd immunity and all that.

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NHS site defaced with screed protesting Syrian conflict

Frumious Bandersnatch
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"We shan't link to the site ..."

That's a bit of a departure for the Reg, isn't it? I mean usually (as far as I've noticed) you link to an archived copy of the defacement. What's different in this case?

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