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* Posts by Brendan Weir

39 posts • joined 8 Mar 2007

Plan for 20mph urban speed-cam zones touted

Brendan Weir
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Unhappy

Everyone is crap

I often have the misfortune of travelling to work by bus. While waiting at a particularly busy junction in Leeds, I get to watch

4 or 5 motor vehicles jumping the red light at EVERY change even though they should stop for the amber light when in slow-moving, nose-to-tail traffic. Traffic making prohibited left turns through a pedestrian crossing showing the green man. Cyclists on the narrow pavement showing no regard for pedestrians. Pedestrians throwing themselves in front of moving vehicles, to cross the road by the shortest route, instead of using the crossings.

And to make it worse, I'm a hypocrite because I do some of these things too!

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Red Arrows Olympic 'ban' causes online furore

Brendan Weir
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Unhappy

More believable than Wikipedia

I'm just surprised the sun didn't claim the Red Arrows were to be replaced with Flying Sharks. All those kids in stupid t-shirts ruined my holiday to St Ives!!!*

So where is the outcry calling for a public aplogy from the sun and its editor's head on a spike outside the BBC? Oh wait, it's ok if it's Uncle Rupert telling us lies.

* Ok, it didn't, St Ives was great :-)

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MIT boffins plan for asteroidal doom

Brendan Weir
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Joke

When did planetary formation end?

Small lumps of rock falling onto big lumps of rock IS planetary formation. Just because the status quo suits humanity, doesn't mean this is the finished product.

I always said we shouldn't have bothered climbing out of the sea...

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US demands air passengers ask its permission to fly

Brendan Weir
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Mars

@amanfrommars

Is it just me or did his comment actually make some sense? I think I need a drink!

Where's the silly icon representing booze?

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Simon Pegg to play Scotty

Brendan Weir
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Alien

Scottish Actors

Its bad luck for Scottish actors to play Scottish characters. And they're far better at playing other nationalities; who can forget Sean Connery in "The Hunt for Red October"

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Boeing delays 787 Dreamliner

Brendan Weir
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Coat

@Jim Ned

"components like the wing which are built overseas and flown in complete"

How do they manage that? I've just got this mental image of a 747 bi-plane...

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Judge rules Gore's film an inconvenient catalogue of errors

Brendan Weir
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Equal time != Balance

Any factual or analytical errors in Gore's film should be highlighted to the audience. But that doesn't mean the counter arguments should be given equal time, anymore than Creationism versus Evolution, as the scientific community isn't split 50:50 on the issues.

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Pilot sacked for footie star on flightdeck shocker

Brendan Weir
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Airbus A380

Does anyone know if this double-decker plane has windows at the front of the top deck where people could pretend to be the driver, I mean pilot? Or would it scare the fundament out of people during landing.

They could even put in a mock-up of the cockpit on the top level and give kids (including 34 year olds) a chance to have a play, while the real crew and controls were left in peace. Or use it as a decoy for terrorists, allowing the crew to lock them in and depressurise it.

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US study says Taser cattleprod guns are safe

Brendan Weir
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Coat

Always

Do your testing in a live environment.

I'll get my chainmail coat

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UK's future depends on science and technology

Brendan Weir
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If it's that vital...

Will we see the creation of a Ministry of Technology that will invest in and nurture British innovation, champion the acquisition of knowledge for its own sake and promote the wider understanding of scientific issues in the face of quackery, FUD and hysteria?

Or do we get a subcommittee under the Department of Trade run by bean counters wanting instant financial gratification at the cost of losing out to countries with greater long-term vision?

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Israelis offer 'British' pukka-lingo ware to Blighty

Brendan Weir
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Give it a real workout

See how well it copes with the prosaic witterings from AManFromMars

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O2 goes flat on data

Brendan Weir
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Fairs fair

They offer an "unlimited" service that really means there is a limit. That's fine as long as I'm allowed to pay for it with a similarly "unlimited" direct debit.

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TrafficMaster sells clients' location info to UK.gov

Brendan Weir
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Has anyone actually considered...

Not breaking the law? It makes me laugh when people call for more traffic cops and less speed cameras. Is it because the speed cameras can't be persuaded to turn a blind eye? I'll bet the same people would then complain that the police should be chasing "real" criminals like murders and rapists! What they really want is to drive recklessly with impunity!

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Consumers confused by HD

Brendan Weir
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@All the pedants

"I want a Joovce doovde and a Joovce lucuda tuv with the hud"

Thank you Fonejacker

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New competition minister makes broadband rallying cry

Brendan Weir
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If he wants to do something useful

He could remind the Advertising Standards Authority and ISPs of the dictionary definition of "Unlimited"

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Nobel-winning boffin slams ISS, manned spaceflight

Brendan Weir
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@Don Mitchell

"Russia and even Europe do not have the know-how to launch Mars rovers or long-term missions to deep space, at least now without extensive help from the Russians."

Perhaps Russia should have a word with itself? :-)

I've got my coat...

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Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill

Brendan Weir
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Wasn't this David Hasselhoff?

I've got an email from January 2006 making many similar claims about The Hoff! And also, "The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from David Hasselhoff and forgot to pay him back."

So there's your IT angle.

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Sod robots, send people into space: report

Brendan Weir
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Our choices

1) Spend a bit of cash and move some of humanity's eggs out of the one basket before the planet goes fubar.

2) Save a bit of cash and develop smart robots to go off and do the fun stuff while we watch our backs in case they turn on us.

All those in favour of option 2 are Lizard Army agents...

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California clamps down on in-car mobile use

Brendan Weir
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Why are we paying Road Tax?

If the government is collecting a 10 person per day road toll, why hasn't Vehicle Excise Duty been scrapped?

Any idea how the 10 people are selected?

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Online car tax saves planet from carbon hell

Brendan Weir
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@Ian Sneyd

If your "summer" bike is 600cc or less, you can't get a 6 month tax disk, you have to pay full whack and claim a refund when you SORN it. I nice little dodge by the DVLA to stop anyone getting any benefit from the system!

VED system should be replaced a combined MOT/Insurance certificate disk and the savings spent on dubious IT projects of questionable value.

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Premium rate Virgin Media cuts tech support jobs

Brendan Weir
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Nice little earner

25p per minute + less staff = more time spent on hold = £££££

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Fancy an invisible dog that dances on stilts?

Brendan Weir
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The secret is...

Ride a motorcycle and wear fluorescent clothes and you instantly become undetectable to the human eye.

This is why banks insist that you don't wear a helmet in their branches - not so the cameras can get a mugshot, it's to stop you from breaking into the vault completely undetected by the staff.

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Greens walk out of nuclear debate

Brendan Weir
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@Wade Burchette

You asked "How many people have died because of nuclear power plants?" and then answered the question incorrectly. Have you never heard of a place called Chernobyl? Why are there higher rates of cancer on the west coast of the UK and east coast of Ireland? Would it have anything to do with Sellafield turning the Irish sea into the worlds most radioactive body of water? See http://www.american.edu/ted/SELLA.HTM for more info.

Could you answer now answer the equivalent question, How many people have died because of wind power plants? Or tidal power plants? I'll bet it's a lot lower than nuclear!

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Cursing senior plod samples electric justice

Brendan Weir
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If both barbs have to contact the skin...

It might be time to dig out that old chainmail vest from your live role-playing days...

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UK Gambling Act is now in force

Brendan Weir
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Salvation Army

Never won a war...

I'll get my coat!

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UK set to greenlight chimera research

Brendan Weir
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Resistance:FOM

Should we be preparing for a showdown with these Chimera in Manchester Cathederal?

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All of world's biggest firms hit by typosquatting

Brendan Weir
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At $6 per year...

Would it not be more cost effective for companies to register the most common misspelling(s) of their main domain? The law of dimishing returns applies to both owner and typosquatter - would there be any point squatting on mircofost.com? It has to be cheaper than hiring a lawyer.

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Little bear harbouring isolated neutron star

Brendan Weir
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Iron doesn't ignite!

When a massive star runs out of hydrogen in its core, the core collapses under gravity, raising the temperature and pressure until the helium starts to fuse to form carbon. This process repeats until the core is mainly composed of iron. As iron is one of the most stable elements in the universe, further fusion does not generate the heat required to balance the relentless pressure of gravity and the core continues to collapse unless electron or neutron degeneracy pressure can balance the gravitional pull.

The iron never "ignites"!

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Astronauts chuck fridge off space station

Brendan Weir
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My understanding of orbital mechanics might be a bit dodgy...

Can an astronaut give a 31lb fridge enough of a shove to ensure it enters an elliptical orbit, with a perigee deep enough inside the earth's atmosphere to slow it down? Or is it going to come back and collide with the station on a subsequent orbit?

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Sony Ericsson dials up revenue and profits jump

Brendan Weir
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With all that cash...

I wonder if they could spare a few quid to fix my P990i?

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Beeb reveals Kylie as Titanic waitress

Brendan Weir
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Wrong adjective?

I always thought she was diminutive...

I'll get my coat...

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Postmaster kills off 'free for life' webmail

Brendan Weir
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@Gerard Krupa

I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for the ASA - the same people who are happy to allow companies to advertise "unlimited" services that are limited by ill-defined "fair use" policies,

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Catherine Tate to accompany Doctor Who

Brendan Weir
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Hiding behind the sofa

I thought it was the Doctor's enemies that were supposed to make us want to hide behind the sofa, not his companion...

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Woman arrested for WoW love affair

Brendan Weir
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Aiding and abetting

If the parents of the 17 y.o. stumped up the cash for the air fare, will they be charged with aiding and abetting an attempted kidnapping? Does the charge even make sense if the lad has consented and his legal guardians appear to have granted consent by providing financial assistance?

Of course if she is found guilty, she just needs to donate all her weapons and armour to Dubya's Great War On Terror and he will commute her sentence...

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Fancy a nuclear power station in your backyard?

Brendan Weir
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As the government is so keen on the idea

To demonstrate how safe and reliable these next generation nuclear power plants are, the first one should be located in central London.

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Space shuttle crashes in Alabama

Brendan Weir
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It crashed where?

"The train derailed in a remote area, about 110 miles away from Birmingham"

What, London?

I'll get me coat...

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'Traffic Taliban' moots speed cameras in cats' eyes

Brendan Weir
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This is an IT news website, right?

I'm slightly surprised at the number of comments in favour of de-automating the simple process of catching people exceeding the speed limit. Perhaps we should also return to paper-based filing systems and switch off all these pesky computers?

I would much rather rely on an impartial camera with well sign-posted speed limits than a disgruntled traffic cop using "discretion" to turn a blind eye to local vehicles and concentrating on those passing through, or driving while black, or motorcyclists or any other group that might be a target.

As for concentrating on catching rapists and murderers, more people are injured or killed on the roads than are raped or murdered, so using speed cameras frees up police resources to concentrate on these heinous crimes, while raising money from the criminally stupid. It isn't that difficult to keep your speed down...

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Wipe your arse less, suggests Sheryl Crow

Brendan Weir
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To bidet or not to bidet (Sorry Shakespeare!)

Maybe Sheryl doesn't realise that we don't all live rock and roll lifestyles and may not have access to a bidet when one sheet just isn't enough...

As for hand-dryers - why are there always fewer dryers than sinks, and fewer sinks than toilets in public conveniences?

And my Mother always told me it was rude and unhygienic to wipe my face on my sleeve!

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Godless coins released in US mint cock-up

Brendan Weir
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Uphold the constitution

Maybe someone is ensuring the separation of church and state...

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