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* Posts by Ian Bonham

178 posts • joined 6 Nov 2007

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Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots

Ian Bonham

What is the point of this?

Clickbait, thats all I can see.

I don't read these reviews much now, because they are SO badly written it's shocking. I popped in this week to see if the quality had improved at all, but simply put, No.

Most people watching this show are enjoying it hugely (myself included). I don't see the point of sitting these 3 cretins down each week to watch something they clearly do not enjoy and asking them to comment on it. Put them in front of Human Universe if they want science. All this weekly 'review' (and I am using the word loosely) achieves is click baiting and shows the Reg has totally no ability to deliver TV reviews. Which I must also point out (again) is not something I want from a Tech site. Perhaps, giving you a little credit, you just want rid of these 3 and this is a chance to pad out their CV's slightly before you bounce them out?

Just give it up please Reg, it's so sad to see you putting this absolute rubbish up. You are a Tech site, not a TV review site. Stick to what you are REALLY excellent at, and give up the un-necessary crap, please. I do recall at one point you were called a 'popular Lesbian site' but I've still yet to see much Lesbian focused content. On the other hand, I don't remember reading that you were a TV review site, so why are you shoving this in?

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Zippy one-liners, broken promises: Doctor Who on the Orient Express

Ian Bonham

Stupid reviews

"A jelly baby last made its appearance in Who under a Thatcher Government."

Yeah Gavin. Thats so correct and utterly makes your review hold up.

The 8th Doctor, under Major's government in 1996 also was partial to Jelly Babies. Lets pretend you know what you are talking about though eh?

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Doctor Who becomes an illogical, unscientific, silly soap opera in Kill The Moon

Ian Bonham

Pointless Reviews

TV Shows? Movies? What next? Theatre? X-Factor recaps? Secondary votes on who should be kicked out of "Strictly Come Dancing"?

For reviews of whats hot and whats not in the non IT world I go to Digital Spy. For Reviews of the Geeky media I go to Den of Geek. For intelligent discussion of IT related stories I visit El Reg.

The Reg's attempt to bring in these types of reviews, and I cannot work out if this Doctor Who review is meant to be funny or not, is failing badly. Please give it up. Stick to what you are VERY good at, don't spoil your credibility with really poor reviews of things other sites cover much better and have done for a long time. It's not about whether I agree or disagree with the writers opinions here, but the actual pieces themselves are just very very poor. If this was meant to be a 'joke' review (and I just cannot make up my mind about that) then please leave the comedy to Dabbsy, who does it MUCH better.

3
10

Microsoft on the Threshold of a new name for Windows next week

Ian Bonham

iWindows

5
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How the FLAC do I tell MP3s from lossless audio?

Ian Bonham

Really Good, and good fun testing...

Hi Chris,

I really liked this article because I believe there are major differences in the way audio is perceived.

You come up with some great arguments, and arguments I had with myself for a while. I was utterly convinced I could hear differences between mp3, ogg, wav, flac and CD. I mean totally convinced.

My friends said I was mad, but my total belief was that I could 'feel' differences in the way the audio affected me.

I worked in radio for a while and ended up looking at audio for a long time, and trying to see that 'thing' which I could hear the difference in. I couldn't. I just edited that bit of news or whatever to the finest point. Sometimes things in audio just 'worked', and don't ask me how.

Then, one day I realised there was a difference in the formats. I found how to test it.

I had the entire BBC Sound Effects Library at home on CDs from work while I was building an anti-drink-driving audio campaign. The BBC library is fun, and I found a CD, number 44, 'Cats'.

Being a Cat owner, I ran some of the CD tracks through the speakers and suddenly my 3 cats were in the room!!! Especially the howling cats sounds! This was weird!

Because the WAV rips were huge (I needed to put the CD's back in the office), I converted the WAV's to flac, having kept a copy in wav of the effects I needed, but still enjoying annoying the cats.

Flac and wav playback ALWAYS got the cats back into my studio, looking around to see where the 'other' cat was crying.

If I encoded that same sample to MP3, the cats here slept on and didn't bother. They looked around if it was ogg.

This taught me one thing. As a human I might not hear the finer bits of a sound, but we feel them.

Animals are great markers of sound, but we still feel those sounds in a way, they are air compression after all.

Anyway, if you want to annoy your Cats or Dogs, the BBC Sound Effects CD's are fun...

14
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BBC: We're going to slip CODING into kids' TV

Ian Bonham

HTML

Am I the ONLY one thinking here, that HTML is HyperTextMarkupLanguage? Or that PHP is Pre-Hypertext Precursor?

0
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Ofcom will not probe lesbian lizard snog in new Dr Who series

Ian Bonham

Priorities

So, new Doctor *may* have done something REALLY naughty, not a grumble.

An interspecies snog gets complaints?? Oh how I love the readers of the Daily Mail...

18
6

Software bug caught Galileo sats in landslide, no escape from reality

Ian Bonham

Eh?

"The ESA's yet to comment publicly on the allegation, but does yesterday gave an update "

What?

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Reg man looks through a Glass, darkly: Google's toy ploy or killer tech specs?

Ian Bonham

Broked?

I know it's early, so maybe it's just me, but 3 pages all reading exactly the same?

0
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Our LOHAN spaceplane ballocket Kickstarter climbs through £8000

Ian Bonham

Bit much

Can't you just ship the plane and let Edge do the launch? Or, import the rocket motors into Gibraltar and take a trip 'down the road' and do it from the runway here. Just point it at Africa so you don't enter Spanish air space.

In fact, doing it from Gib would be wonderful, in that it would VERY clearly stick 2 fingers up at Spanish bureaucracy and right in plain sight of them. You may have to fly the thing to the UK though, then back into Gib as I bet the f**kers would try to stop you at the border...

3
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BBC goes titsup: iPlayer to News websites down – Auntie working to fix it

Ian Bonham

Not just iPlayer

As their tweet says, it's not just iPlayer but the whole site. I started getting 500's about 2 hours ago on the News site.

1
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The Register to boldly go where no Vulture has gone before: The WEEKEND

Ian Bonham

Hate it

Saturday, 12:30CET. I'm wanting to read Dabsey. Only just posted.

PLEASE, just put everything up on a Friday like normal, and let us browse at leisure. Don't f**king drip feed us like moronic Mail readers. Reg readers have the ability and knowledge to pop on line whenever and choose what we want to read and when.

I want to sync my Reg Android app on a Friday and have a cache of stories when I'm away from 3G coverage.

This is JUST to force people to check up more regularly though the weekends, thus improving your Ad display rate. I seriously thought the Reg was above this, but apparently not.

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LOHAN Kickstarter bid IS GO: Back our Vulture 2 spaceplane launch

Ian Bonham

I'd pay why?

You've kept this project going in Spain as the PP has fucked all of us over, totally.

Now you want money to fly to the USA??

Seriously??

Na, not happening.

0
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LOHAN packs bags for SPACEPORT AMERICA!

Ian Bonham

Spanish Government

Suffering regularly at the Gibraltar land border, I can tell you the Spanish Government are a complete bunch of w*****s, and the Guardia Civil are a paramilitary force who have not noticed Franco is gone.

5
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David Cameron wants mobe network roaming INSIDE the UK

Ian Bonham
Coat

Norfolk?

I thought he lost his mobi(!) signal in Cornwall, not Norfolk?

I'll get my coat...

0
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El Reg BuzzFelch: 10 Electrical Connectors You CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT!

Ian Bonham

DAMMIT

Missed the BOOTNOTES heading, thinking it looked an interesting article. Should be more careful after so long reading El Reg.

1
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Gift-giving gotchas: How to avoid Xmas morning EMBARRASSMENT

Ian Bonham

FFS

You're a NEWS site, not some fluffy media bullshit.

Snowy Vulture goes, please, have some respect.

0
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XBOX ONE ROUNDUP-of-the-ROUNDUPS: Everything YOU need to know

Ian Bonham

The Million Dollar Question...

Will either of them boot into Linux?

No?

I'm sticking with my PC then.

1
4

Reg mobile correspondent Bill Ray hangs up his Vulture hat

Ian Bonham

All the Best Bill! :)

Thoroughly enjoyed your articles. You shall be missed, thanks for all the giggles, and some great insight (now and again!!!).

I wish you all the best in your future endeavours,

Bon

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Our sensational rocket ship Vulture 2 REVEALED: LIVE at 3pm

Ian Bonham

3G

If you are streaming over 3G using Mobistar, it'll almost defo go tits up!!

Seriously though, good luck to the whole team! We're cheering you on from Gibraltar, see if you can land her on our runway! ;)

1
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3D printers stroke LOHAN's shapely midriff

Ian Bonham

Top Work

I've been following LOHAN since the naming debate and am honestly excited to see Vulture2 launch (especially on my home turf (air?)). I shall raise a Tinto to David Cooper, Chris Dodd and Amrith Surendra in my local.

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Chip makers shine up wafers and foils for 25th Hot Chips jamboree

Ian Bonham

System-on-Chop

"Both Intel and Advanced Micro Devices will be showing off their system-on-chop (SoC) designs.", these sound quite meaty....

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Applications to run more white-space Local TV stations invited

Ian Bonham

Good News

I'm actually really glad that there is another run at this. I worked for a while at NorthantsTV, am NTL hosted local cable station, and we managed to get an RSL for Northamptonshire based on our output over cable, OFCOM gave us some good support.

Yes, what we put out was utter shite when you look at Sherlock or Doctor Who, but the difference was what we put out was local. People tuned in to see themselves or their friends on telly. Why do you think X-Factor and stuff like that are popular? "Ooh, might see my friend on Telly tonight"! It gets an audience!

NorthantsTV went down due to the fact that TV takes a HAUGE amount of money, and to provide a local news service cost a fortune, even with one camera ENG shoots. You can't have the news sponsored (under OFCOM rules, only the weather) so the news teams have to be paid from the general airtime budgets. You are restricted to the amount of adverts you can bumper around the news in any one hour, so that became a big drain.

I hope this time around, OFCOM will be more lenient on the amount of advertising time, or what can be sponsored, because if not, the money hoover that is local TV is never going to work in a small market like the UK.

0
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Mark Shuttleworth: Canonical leads Ubuntu, not 'your whims'

Ian Bonham

Canonical

Ok, I'm putting on a suit of Armour here, but I bloody LOVE Xubuntu. It's a cracking tool of an OS, built on Deb, tweaked by Canon, and then tweaked again with XFCE.

I use it on my laptop every day when here in Gibraltar I have to go deal with issues. The XFCE interface is quick and tidy, and Can# have done some nice work under the bonnet. I can find what I need quickly, easily, and it works. It takes me less time, so I end up billing clients less. I can see more clients in a day so I've lost no profit.

On 2 sites now, I have Terminal Server delivering to XUbuntu Linux clients over rdesktop, and a third site using Mint. Xubuntu causes me less call outs.

I'm with Mark on this, I think the guy has a bloody good idea. Also, it's working for me as an engineer. I once wrote an article that got slashdotted, where I argued Linux needed a killer game to make it into the desktop. I was wrong. Linux ITX boards can so host happily RDesktop or Citrix sessions, that makes it viable in the offide. We have proved it in Gibraltar. The games, I'll leave that to Valve, they seem on the case.

For me, Linux on the desktop is here. It's what we run on it that will be interesting

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Only way to stop the iPad: Flash-disk mutant SPEED FREAKS

Ian Bonham

sshfs...

Am I the only one running sshfs on my tablet and phone (both Android). I get access to terrabytes of storage at home as though it's in my pocket, it's fairly secure, and with a cable broadband at home @ 100/10 it's perfectly usable. My data is not there for any cloud host to trawl through at will, and INGREDIENTS can expand it when I need. Also, because I only need to store things I need when away from wifi (rare) I could buy a cheap tablet at 130€ rather than spend a load on portable storage. I'll also not be crying if IT loose a device. Seems a win-win to me?

0
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Google v Microsoft mobile war: Who's REALLY to blame?

Ian Bonham
Trollface

Cut off Date

I have a feeling this cut off will be in Beta for at least 6 years....

0
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Another Apple retail chief crashes out the door

Ian Bonham
Coat

Keeel themmm....

See title, probs only relevant to people who watch "Armstrong & Miller"...

3
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Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet creator Gerry Anderson dies at 83

Ian Bonham

Terrahawks

He did Terrahawks too?

I loved that show!

RIP Gerry, thank you

(We need an RIP icon...)

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Reader input required: review our reviews

Ian Bonham

Phil W is pretty much correct...

I totally agree with Phil W, the proof reading has been piss poor recently, and some of the articles on my favorite Lesbian journal (Yes, I've been reading the Reg for some time!) have been really bad. It doesn't take me 2 minutes to read most articles, so why can't someone there proof a colleagues work? It would so improve the quality and add gravitas to the article it's self. Is the plan to become the "Guardian" of the digital age maybe? (In reference to the news paper "Guardian"'s often terrible proof, historically?)

Technical reviews are excellent and really appreciated, and Reg Hardware has often guided me in purchase decisions. Most of which I've found have lead me to making good purchases. I wonder though, if Hardware can do a technical breakdown, and then another section, "Lifestyle" for example could give us a real world, life with said device story? Both styles would be absolutely excellent.

For example, I'm using Rasberry PI's at the moment in work. I need to know the technical specs because in this case I'm using them as Nagios boxes. I'm also now using them at home to replace some full on desktops, for the lower power usage. So two totally different applications there. I'd like to see the tech review so I have some back ground before I order something, but I'd also like to see how they are as Day to Day devices.

Hope that helps a little and makes some sense?

Keep up the good work, just keep cheeking the poof reading and the speeeling,

Bon

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4K LCD TV output to outstrip OLED production

Ian Bonham
FAIL

Garbage

Oh El Reg,

Your standards do vary but this article is beyond the pale. A lot of it makes no sense in English, are you outsourcing your writing to an Indian Call centre? If I was the editor, I'd pull this one down and get it right before publishing it again. It lets down the quality of the whole site.

Please, for your sake, and for mine as a reader and supporter of The Reg,

Sort the grammar

4
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Dawn probe slips Vesta's grip, heads for icy dwarf planet

Ian Bonham
Coat

Vesta

Vesta, they made a right meal of it.

See icon...

1
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Wales: We'll encrypt Wikipedia if reborn gov net-snoop plan goes live

Ian Bonham
FAIL

Re: You snoop on everything...

His wife has already left him after finding encrypted emails on his computer and assuming the worst...

0
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Oracle hurls Sparc T5 gladiators into big-iron arena

Ian Bonham
Alert

Faster at Java

Ok, so it runs Java much faster. Going on the last few weeks articles, and I'm no Java/Sparc expert, does this mean it will be faster at running Java exploits too?

1
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Broadband minister Hunt LOSES portfolio, takes on national health

Ian Bonham
FAIL

First to say...

Deckchairs. Titanic?

I bet I'm not the first though...

2
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China mutates plants ... IN SPAAAAAACE

Ian Bonham
FAIL

Extreme Caution

Come on China, don't you remember the bloody Vervoids? STOP IT NOW!!!

0
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Torvalds bellows: 'The GNOME PEOPLE are in TOTAL DENIAL'

Ian Bonham
Holmes

Desktops

I'm using Xubuntu, after Unity got right on my Tits. I tried Gnome3, but that wound me up as it actually slowed up my work flow too. KDE got irritating too, for being a bit of a resource hog, and I never went back to it. So, XFCE for me, for now.

This is the thing though. At least with Linux there is choice. Yes, there will be flame wars between different desktops, but I pick whats right for me at the time. With Linux I can do that. I'm not being forced into Notro, or Apples decisions. I can slap any desktop I pretty much like on my machine. I will try anything, if it makes my life easier. I use Mythbuntu on my tellybox. I like it, but gave UbuntuTV a shot, and that went right away because of the amount of png thumbnail images it shoved into my video library.

We have choices on Linux, which is great. We don't need flame wars. If you like something and it makes your life easier, use it. If you don't like it, sack it off and leave it. I'm seeing the same thing in UK politics as 'Conservatives' don't like the new 'Dave-Desktop' and are switching to UKIP.

Choice is great.

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Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Pierogi versus patatas revolconas

Ian Bonham
WTF?

Pierogi

Surely these are much easier for post beer grub, and most petrol stations stock them, produced by a company called "Ginsters" I believe...?

1
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China to probe black holes, search for aliens

Ian Bonham
Happy

Foxconn

Will they be slapping it together? If so, can we expect a big Apple badge on it? Also, I'm not sure I'd completely trust the data coming from it, unless that data is properly open and it's got scientists from around the World working on it. They could claim anything they liked. I mean, DID America really land on the moon?

(Getting the conspiracy party started...)

0
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Driving a car? There's an app for that

Ian Bonham
WTF?

Real World...

So, my sister used to borrow my car, and leave the bloody tank empty. I did the same when I used to use Dad's car before that TBH, but to the point.

Sister has called up the car and it's taken her and a bunch of mates into town. She's left it there and not filled it up. I decide to call it to come home from work, and it's driving to me and runs out of fuel. What then? I walk to the car with a 5ltr can of petrol/hydrogen/fuel of the week? Another car of a friend is selected (maybe a friend on Facebook) comes and rescues me, takes me to the petrol/hydrogen station to get the fuel then takes me to my car to recover it? Then both cars take me back to the station to refuel mine and put the used fuel back into the rescue car? Car drives it's self to the nearest fuel stop, and gets filled up by a meat sack, who charges then who? Me? My friends I 'share' my car with?

Fuel is becoming so expensive I feel this may become a bit of a sticking point, knowing human nature.

0
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Windows 8: Microsoft's tablet-desktop still painful to swallow

Ian Bonham
Boffin

Clean install....

A clean install of Windows is generally a pleasurable experience. 6 months down the line, maybe less so. Lets see how 8 fares in the long term. As for the UI, I think M$ is just coping the open source crowd (again) by pissing people off, a la KDE, Gnome, Unity...

2
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Optical Express 'ruined my life' gripe site lives on

Ian Bonham
Boffin

The Register contacted Optical Express for comment, but it has yet to respond.

They couldn't read the email due to botched laser eye treatment (allegedly). I've booked a shark to do mine...

2
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BBC gives itself a gold in 700Gbit-a-second Olympic vid sprint

Ian Bonham
Happy

BBC

I looked on with utter jealousy at the services the BBC provided in the UK over the Olympics. Here in Spain we have NO red button service whatsoever, and although TVE was the official Olympic broadcaster, basically we got very little. TVE-HD showed events, as did the SD channel TDP. However, rather than make the most of the space, often both channels showed the same thing. TVE1 ran highlights shows. It was piss poor, and I was insanely jealous of what the BBC offered.

I understand NBC in the USA showed it all delayed, so they could make the most of advertising, and cut out chunks of stuff as it wasn't relevent to the USA audience (in their minds).

For £6.38, you got complete coverage, on TV, on the Web, and on Radio. That to me seems a fair deal really, and from where I'm sitting I've have paid that nin a second for coverage like that. You could have probably got it for a bit less if you'd not paid for Trevor Nelson, Huw Edwards and that other one to natter inane comments over the opening ceremony though... I think well done BBC though.

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Acer dishing out 16,400 cheap OLYMPIC laptops to schools

Ian Bonham
FAIL

Re: seems a fair price

Learn to type and use a spell checker, then get back to me...

9
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My dad found the Higgs boson! Reminiscences of a CERN kid

Ian Bonham

"any thoughts of following my dad’s passion for bosons was replaced with a passion for boys. You know how it is ..."

Only too well... ;)

1
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Microsoft develops mood-matching ad engine

Ian Bonham

Re: Ads

Yeah, would use adblock etc but I do design some ads, so I can't really block them when testing, and I tend to open el Reg in same browser so I can flick tabs. I just don't design ads that are so bloody irritating though.

Perhaps this is part of MS's new policy, they are going to make their ads as annoying as their new desktop?

0
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Ian Bonham
FAIL

Ads

The mood Microsoft have me in at the moment is INCREDIBLY pissed off. If that HAUGE fuck off banner ad at the top of the Reg doesn't go very soon, I'm gonna stop visiting the site. I hate having to minimise an ad just to concentrate on the news I'm trying to read.

I know El Reg likes a $, but that much? Seriously?

0
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Google shows off Project Glass augmented reality specs

Ian Bonham
FAIL

Are they available in prescription?

Having been staring at CRT and LCD for many years, my eyes are already knackered. Whats going to be the eye strain on focusing between the HUD and the real World? What about us glasses wearers? Will the glass be available to your prescription? Bi focal?

This looks like a fun technology (fun, not necessarily useful). I think they'll only be any good for people with decent eyesight though.

0
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Use the holy word of God to stay secure online, says bishop

Ian Bonham
Coat

Erm..

"Even better security could be achieved by using a made-up phrase to derive a password, Cluley suggests."

Which takes us right back to the Bible...

9
3

iPhone/PS3 hacker Hotz arrested in pot bust

Ian Bonham
Black Helicopters

Thinks...

Pot? Check. Rebellious? Check. Bad photos as a Youngster? Check. Can hack an iPhone? Check.

Early Apple experiment with the iClone?

1
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LOHAN's fantastical flying truss takes to the air

Ian Bonham
Happy

Heading to North Africa

I'm keeping an eye out for it here in Gibraltar!

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