* Posts by Kenneth Chan

44 posts • joined 6 Nov 2007

BBC devs Doctor Who movie script

Kenneth Chan
Paris Hilton

Bring back Billie Piper

As the Doctor's compain, but this time she would play the "Belle de Jour"

Yes, Boobies in the Doctor Who universe.

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Asus keyboard PC due May. Or maybe June

Kenneth Chan
Heart

Wait, I have one in the basement

Everything old is new again. Remember Dragon, Sinclair, C-64?!!!

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Ancient pulsar still radiating like a young 'un

Kenneth Chan
Gates Halo

Better byline

Inter galactic viagra at work!

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Expedition to probe cavern lake 3km beneath Antarctic ice

Kenneth Chan
Gates Halo

I love the hand drawn graphics

Yes, these guys are real scientist, no freaking power point/ photo shop.

Give me a HB pencil and some napkins!

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Spysat-spying spysats on track for launch, says Boeing

Kenneth Chan
Paris Hilton

Next Bond Flick

Note to self, world domination.

Step 1 take over Space Based Space Surveillance

Step 2 destroy all satellite using solar flare weapon

Step 3 bed 'airess.

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Microsoft IE8 rolls out the astroturf

Kenneth Chan
Gates Horns

MS coders Have Friends????

Really, from the people who gave you Vista... Could you imagine...

Hello (fill in the blank)

Remember the Vista beta I send you a few years back? Well, to make up for that try IE 8 beta. It is way cooler....

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Countdown to Conficker activation begins

Kenneth Chan
Boffin

Just finish watching Terminator 3

Rise of the Machine...

Step 1 Infect tons of computers all over the world (check)

Step 2 Create a panic

Step 3 Make things so bad that DAPRA has to fire up Skynet

Step 4 Overthrow the flesh overlord...

For God sake, don't turn on Skynet!

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DARPA orders 'fridge-sized' laser energy cannon

Kenneth Chan
Happy

Fridge Size Laser?

This begs the Question:

Honey, Where do I plug in the New Fridge?

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Fraunhofer boffins: Laser printers safe after all

Kenneth Chan
Flame

Get your research right the first time!

Upon reading the laser printer = quick death story, the hypochondriacs in my lab had me move the laser printer to some hole, now I find everything is Okay?!

Get your research straight, keep some Canaries by the printer and see how long it takes for them to die!

Sounds like a good research project, just got to get it pass the ethics board....

Flames 'cause they bastards will get another paper out of the deal!

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Supersonic fighters could snuff out hurricanes

Kenneth Chan
Stop

Patent Trolls?

Another case of patenting an idea, but nothing to back it up.

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Regulators back Bell Canada choking indie ISP traffic

Kenneth Chan
Unhappy

@ James

You got it right, expect Bell is using DPI to throttle the connections. During the first few days my VPN was throttled until my connection timed out. It is much better now, but still.

Now that Bell won, they can snoop at all the wholesaler's lines and throttle as needed. Fair, I think not.

KC

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Firefox update fixes four critical flaws

Kenneth Chan
Stop

I'm still on NT

Sorry, but Firefox 3 will not run on my poor NT box.

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Geeks whup Marine ass in Call Of Duty 5

Kenneth Chan
Black Helicopters

Training Ground for Land Base Kill Bots

I bet some guy at DARPA was watching and using what he learn in the next gen of Killer Bots and the "Marines" is really SkyNet learning how ordinary meat sack work.

KC

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Honda debuts groin-clutching walker exoskeleton

Kenneth Chan
Coat

Li-ion batteries?

I hope it is not powered by Li-ion batteries, don't want one of those to overheat or explode in the cock piece..... Ouch...

Power up, I'm legging out of here

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US forces want man-hunting robot wolfpacks

Kenneth Chan
IT Angle

IT

All complex systems are as good as their IT department... I hope our metal overlord have such department. <BANG>

"Hello, Helpdesk...."

"Have you try hitting the Cap Lock?"

"No, just once..."

KC

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Bee Gees belter may help cheat death

Kenneth Chan
Stop

Please, Pull the Plug!

No, Just let me go, please..... Stop that Fracking music! I want to die in peace.

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Hubble's 486 back-up springs into life

Kenneth Chan
Go

Turbo Button!

I wounder if the reboot would be faster if they hit the "TURBO" button?

BTW Intel or AMD?

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Swiss strap-on jetplane ace flies Channel

Kenneth Chan
Pirate

Forget about flying car!

One jet power, carbon fiber fly wing to go please.

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Northrop offer supersonic robot stealth raygun cyber-bomber

Kenneth Chan
Alien

We need the Valiant

To counter the US move to robot kill bot, I think we should build the Valiant (aka Doctor Who). No where to find a time lord?

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Dell launches Inspiron 9 mini laptop

Kenneth Chan
Unhappy

Too Much for Too Little

for that kind of money, you are better off with a cheap or used lap.... Too bad, it cute. even with a wanky keyboard.

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Japan to fund creation of 40W, 40in OLED TV

Kenneth Chan
Boffin

At the TV shop...

I could see it now, my wife and I will be at the TV showroom floor....

Wife: "Do we really need a new flat screen?"

Me: "Forget about what I want darling, If you love our kids, If you want our children to live in a carbon free world, If you love the earth! You would let me get that 40" OLED TV"

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Lab tech supplier redefines corporate song paradigm

Kenneth Chan
Boffin

I showed it to the Lab and...

50% (mostly younger summer students) don't get it.

the rest of us who lived through all those boy bands of the 90's were laughing our guts out....

And yes, all of us got the jokes.... 100% Lab Rats....

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Roomba robot maker to build DARPA squidge-droids

Kenneth Chan
Heart

3.3 Millions??? Lots of Civilians applications....

3.3 Millions is a tiny project for DARPA. That said imagine a Roomba with a super flex-o-matic hose that reaches all those pesky corner, or between shelfs. Should make a great back scratcher as well. But be careful re-flashing the firm ware on your Roomba, it might change into T2,,,,

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DARPA hands out cash for tiny bugbot-thopter

Kenneth Chan
Black Helicopters

Canadian Humming Bird...

http://www.nrc-cnrc.gc.ca/highlights/2008/0805insects_e.html

Could this be an arm race for NAVs?

KC

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Wireless links to be trialled in Gulfstream flight controls

Kenneth Chan
Heart

Movie Plot!

Sound like the next Die Hard Movie.... Bad guys cuts the hard control and takes over the plane by their iPhone...

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Apple patent filing suggests solar powered iPhone

Kenneth Chan
Stop

Green & Dumb

I could see it now, people are going to leave their toy laying around in the sun and get them stolen... Could you just hear it....

"Yes officer, I left my $+400.00 iPhone on the dash 'cause I had a low batt, and well it is solar"

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Electrosticky droid boffin in spider-gecko tech bitchslap

Kenneth Chan
Go

Sounds like the begining of a super hero movie

Nonprofit R&D Scientist developed some nifty technology that will rescue earthquake victim.... Throw in your run of the mill villain, maybe a love interest (Kirsten Dunst w/ digitally enchanted teeth)... Next thing you know you are doing a $200M weekend at the box office....

Mr. Spielberg, a moment of your time please?

KC

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Climate profs 'can't recommend' enormo-space-parasol

Kenneth Chan

Matrix Movie?

As I recall, part of the war on the machine was to darken the sky.... Step 1 to the rise of the machine and us stuck in the 80's!

KC

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Boffins' breakthrough boosts fuel cell output by 50%

Kenneth Chan

@ Small Point...

No sulfonated is correct, it is the sulfur contain group in the polymer....

More Boffiness.... KC

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Captain Cyborg creates human bat with Reg baseball cap

Kenneth Chan
Black Helicopters

Captain Cyborg + FusionMan =

REG, Really, if you are going to create a real Human Bat hybrid, you really need to get the Swiss Bird man involved.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/15/swiss_birdman_backpack_jet_stunt/

Flying jet pack wings, cyberneticly implanted echolocation! Yes! I fell a DARPA funding proposal coming $$$ KC

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Swiss birdman in Alpine backpack-jetplane stunt flight

Kenneth Chan
Alert

FusionMan(R) vs. Raptor!

Totally public school childishness, but when the Machines takes over the earth, who will win in a dog fight? My money is on the Swiss for shear coolness....

(!) Because the Machine better look out! KC

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Bell Canada chokes P2P and privacy?

Kenneth Chan
Coat

Loud Canadians

For those who are in Ottawa for the Ottawa International Animation Festival 2008 on May 27, should also drop by and say HI! to your MP on Parliament Hill and do something about Ma' Bell's throttling.

Details at http://www.netneutralityrally.ca/

This rally was push back because of conflict with two other protest on the hill.... One is Pro Tibet, the other Pro China.... Best stay off the hill that day....

KC

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Canuck faces life sentence for nude girl webcam scheme

Kenneth Chan
Go

@ Cameron Colley

As a father of teen and pre teen girls, if the guy is after 14 years old, then he is after my girls. Time like this I wish I was an America!

Honey where is my hockey stick, I'm going clubbing in Montreal....

KC

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DARPA wants microscopic atom clocks on chips

Kenneth Chan

@ Chip-Scale Atomic Clock is a farce

DARPA is looking for a primary frequency standard in a 5cc volume, so yea, they are looking for an atomic clock. Unless you can calculate from first principles the vibration frequency of a hunk of quartz.

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Kenneth Chan
Thumb Up

Might acutally work!

And useful as well. Now where is my robot butler?

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US will sky spy-sat to eye spy-sats

Kenneth Chan
Pirate

Laser pointer

Yes, and for an extra $10M I will equip the new spy bots with a laser pointer, Totally harm less, but imagine the fun you can have.... Deep in a bunker somewhere in China... "What is that red dot doing on the satellite? OMG! Dame Yankee!"

KC

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Remembering the Coleco Adam

Kenneth Chan
Happy

I still have one int the basement...

"I guess the only lesson here is to just keep your crotch a good 50 yards away from a booting Coleco Adam"

Loved it when I was a kid, But how I manage to have 3 kids of my own I don't know.... Lots of practice I guess. KC

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Geeks fight the smelter with embedded processor-based box

Kenneth Chan
Happy

the processor as transistors

"the processor almost becomes a modern day version of what the transistor was 30 to 40 years ago"

I like that notion.... What will glue all those processor together? I feel a research grant coming... Quick Proposal!$

Ken

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Pentagon pundits demand sensible raygun research

Kenneth Chan
Alert

Grab you lab coats boys!

"The most fundamental issue... is the need for cost/benefit analyses... The lack of cost/benefit analyses inhibits the effective use of currently programmed resources"

O Great Accountants directed Research. Get out boys, Get out NOW!!!

Ken

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All blue-eyed people share one common ancestor

Kenneth Chan
Heart

We all have a bit of blue eyes...

So we all have blue eyes just waiting to get out.... Gene switch please.

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Will Microsoft parachute Windows 7 in early?

Kenneth Chan
Gates Halo

As Long as it works!

But could we really be sure? KC

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Rose Tyler beams back into Doctor Who

Kenneth Chan
Black Helicopters

Still waiting on Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart

I'm waiting on UNIT to show up....

Voice from the Great White North

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Pentagon: Our new robot army will be controlled by malware

Kenneth Chan
Coat

Cylons are approching!

Malware controlling war machines, Raptors falling out of the sky with meat sack strapped in.... The entire network goes to pots.... Isn't it the plot to Battlestar Galactica????

Someone has been watching too much Sci-Fi Channel...

That's it I'll off this planet.

KC

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Biologist 'discovers' scentless giant peccary

Kenneth Chan

Mmmmm Peccary

Yea, but how do they taste?

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