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* Posts by Steven

47 posts • joined 31 Oct 2007

Japanese lunar orbiter to go out with a bang

Steven
Joke

Don't these people watch movies?

As in Guy Pierce's Time Machine remake?

If we end up having to hang in baskets on the side of cliffs because of this crash, I'm going to be very upset!

Also, the whole aiming for the flag/footprints stuff should be the goal of every space agency, because nothing's funnier than an angry American

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Steve Jobs could return for iPhone speech next week

Steven
Joke

Rumour Central

If Jobs was ever in a jokey mood, he'd hire someone to drive his car up to Redmond just for a laugh.....

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Man creates third-gen iPhone rumours picture

Steven
Jobs Halo

Changed mind over iPhone

Sure, I may have been brainwashed by the Mactards in my work, but when my own phone recently bit the dust, I decided to give it a try.

I've been very, very surprised by just how intuitive to use the phone is, how good a phone it is (calls that don't drop every 20 seconds, which beats 3 in my book) and how handy some of those apps are - I can actually do work on my iPhone during meetings without looking shamefaced.

As someone who was up until a few weeks ago a non-Mac zealot, it's quite incredible to see just how much of the actual bad press I've read was just hype.

Go on, give it a try, you know you want to.... /Florencethesupplierfromthemagicroundabout

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Gordon 'to sacky' Wacky Jacqui

Steven
Unhappy

Rest not on your laurels

Because whoever's in next will probably be far more subtle about it than WJ was.

And if you think this means the end of ID cards/HUGE databases/Phorm/Detention etc. think again...

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iPhone users to walk and read at same time

Steven
Thumb Down

Angle of shot

I don't hold my phone at a high enough angle for a camera viewing function to be worthwhile. It'd just show me a view of my feet, which surely defeats the purpose of the device.

Nice demo image though - completely unrealistic fov, but nice to demonstrate it.

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Why the iPhone's megapixelage alone won't matter

Steven
Happy

@Mark Mitchell

Open your eyes a little - there's another wonderful world outside of your Apple comfort zone.

Please ignore the fact that I didn't actually refer to Microsoft though....

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Blizzard: Game designers aren't Shakespeare

Steven
Unhappy

This is kind of ironic for NCSoft

Given that City Of Heroes next expansion is a Mission Creator which gives the player the ability to write reams of text (to a 100k with other things limit).

Now, according to one of the writers of the only MMO worth listening to, that means we'll not just be able to ignore what paid developers have written, we'll be able to ignore the twaddle that other players have written too!

I'm fairly sure NCSoft will be issuing a written apology immediately and forget about trumpeting this rather unique feature (no, wait, NCSoft never market COH anyway).

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Sex crime 'lie detector' pilot could prompt wider use

Steven
Black Helicopters

Bladerunner time?

"A turtle is lying on its back in the desert. Do you right the turtle?"

(Yes, it's horribly misquoted, but it I hear the word retirement in any of these press releases soon, I'm getting a grubby overcoat and a unicorn....)

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UK gov gets twitchy on Google feature creep

Steven

Boss requests this...

And I tell him to fuck off. I'm not installing some random application on my phone, so he can keep an eye on me.

Of course, if it ever came down to "install this or lose your job, because we have deeper pockets than you do", then I just leave my mobile phone switched off or, if I do ever decide to skive work, I do the even cleverer thing of leaving the sodding thing at home. Heck, chances are if I do decide to skive work, then I'll be at home anyway!

Early day motions - just think, we pay money for them to grumble about things they don't understand. Besides, Jacqui will just ignore this as it interferes with her plans for Orwelling us.

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BT reprograms biz customers as hotspots

Steven
Thumb Down

Last straw - BT gone

I browse Superdickery.com a fair bit - they run an advert about "Cleaning up the oceans" that I had never seen on any other website.

A couple of weeks ago, that advert started appearing on my Yahoo Mail website.

I'd never been contacted about Phorm in any way, shape or form, but look, lo and behold, there's a nice WebSlyWise cookie on my PC.

Now with Sky. Oddly enough, BT didn't protest me leaving too much the minute I brought up wanting to see their proof that what they were doing was legal...

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Jobs to skip Apple shareholders meeting

Steven
Joke

A sad reflection on society

To whom it may concern:

Having read an article on an individual who may or may not be ill at this present time, it thoroughly disgusts me that the status company of which this person is no longer nominally in charge of is related to his health.

What sort of society do we live in where a person's health translates to a company's value? If I popped my clogs tomorrow, then the upset to my organisation would be minor. I am involved in many project currently, moving money around to where it is needed.

The company will not fall over without me.

Neither will this other organisation - UNLESS A BUNCH OF FECKLESS COMMENTATORS WHO VALUE THE IMPORTANCE OF THEIR OWN WORDS NOW DEFINE THE VALUE OF A COMPANY!!!

Oh wait, I've just realised that this isn't a joke anymore :-(

One man who does damn good PR is NOT worth more than thousands who actually produce results. And if you believe that he is, then I believe there are several cults out there looking for people like you.

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Spy boss damns government's culture of fear

Steven
Unhappy

Name one curtailing law...

... which hasn't brought with it a sluggish slime trail of Halliburton-esque slobbering capitalists, determined to get as much money as possible with minimal expense to themselves?

Anyone?

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Kids' sites 'must register moderators'

Steven
Unhappy

Offical Gaming websites

Well that's the death knell to official MMO gaming forums then. Why go through all that hassle of this when you can just pass the responsibility on to a fan run site?

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User-generated reviews - blessing or bull?

Steven

There are other ways

Metacritic is great. You can usually sort the wheat from the chaff by not only looking at the average score, but by reading the comments.

Several games I've bought over the years have received a less than favourable review score on Metacritic, but if you read the fan comments (and disregard the stupid ones like "Sony lolzors 111!!1111!!!Roflcopter!!!" etc.), you get a more rounded approach.

Read the data, do some analysis using your brain and see if you can get something you enjoy, rather than something that some reviewer (and editor!) was paid to say they enjoyed.

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HDTV 'pointless' without perfect peepers

Steven
Happy

Uh huh

Or to translate:

Vision Express made a statement today saying that anyone who had bought an 1080p capable HDTV shoudl then come to them so that they would notice a huge difference...

Or to put it another way: Vision Express: Blu Ray won't work unless you let us scam you first.

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Atari promises it won't suck this time

Steven
Unhappy

Poor Cryptic...

After so much hype around their "we will publish the games ourselves.... no wait, we'll use Take 2..... ah...." talk, it now looks like Champions Online (which is looking (if some closed beta testers are to be believed) to be a second rate copy of their original MMO City Of Heroes and Star Trek Online (surely as big a licence as can be found in the MMO world?) will now be screwed over by the money men demanded the release before its ready.

Granted, the only way to make a profit on a PC game these days is to make it an MMO (with a subscription model), but all too often these are released well in advance of being ready, with the users being paying beta testers.

I miss the days of Carmack and Romero saying "When it's done!"

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Reg readers in the dark over extreme porn

Steven
Black Helicopters

Post them to Jack Straw...?

Let's send them to that wonderful, quoteable lady, Wacky Jaqui.

At least that way, her reaction will be the deciding factor in the matter and we will all be able to rest easier at night after a day of hearty chortling at her decisions.

We'll probably all be just a littttttle bit scared too...

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Scorpions tale leaves IWF exposed

Steven

Web 4.0?

Did I miss a couple of feeble minded, wooly Internet concepts then?

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Blu-ray backers highlight rising demand

Steven

Even the stores know it's too expensive...

Given that I can buy two DVD's individually priced at £21.99 & £24.99 in HMV for £30, I think they know that there's something wrong with the pricing.

Oh and it's par for the course too.... Play are selling The Dark Knight on Blu-Ray for £15 which I think is a brilliant deal (Batman Begins in Blu-Ray is so much sharper and clearer than DVD).

If it's too expensive, then you're shopping in the wrong places.

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Microsoft preps IE 8 for the web-challenged

Steven
Gates Horns

"We're changing how the roads work..."

Please update your tyres because our our myopia...

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Apple more closed than Microsoft

Steven
Pirate

*Settles back with the popcorn*

This is going to be one hell of a ride. Familiar and often repeated, but fun nonetheless

Cutlasses at dawn and all that...

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Microsoft opens Vista SP2 testing window

Steven
Paris Hilton

Standard comments follow

*insert Microsoft rubbish comment*

*insert Use Apple/Ubuntu instead*

*complain about operating system based on the opinions of others without ever having tried it myself*

*blame Microsoft for lack of drivers for products belonging to other companies*

*insert random Paris witicism here*

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Grand Theft Auto IV PC debut gets SecuROM sideshow

Steven
Happy

GTA IV on Steam?

So will the Steam install of GTA IV also carry this software?

Given that recent Steam games (Bioshock/Fallout) have had max install limits placed on them, I would say that it's likely.

I'm glad I got GTA IV on the PS3 where it belongs.

Say it with me people - 3rd person games on console, 1st person games on PC. That's the way it would be in any decent society....

*moves mouse to defend freedom of expression*

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Steven
Go

Also, GTA IV...

....gets boring, fairly quickly. I lost interest after a week of play when I moved on to the second island.

The story just isn't gripping enough for long term play. Save your money. Buy Fallout 3 on Steam instead (or get a boxed copy)

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Windows internet share drops below 90 per cent

Steven
Jobs Horns

Awkward in my house

In the same room, I've got my PC which I use Firefox on, my wife's PC which she uses IE7 for her browsing needs (no matter how much I've tried to get her to change) and the PS3, which obviously uses its own browser.

Nice round figures, there, but it's not an address you'd try to market to.

At least none of us use Safari.... *flees*

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Yes! It's the USB Toaster!

Steven
Gates Horns

I'd buy it....

... if it were real.

It's something satisfying that my Apple-tard colleagues couldn't claim their iPhones can do.

Bill because it would be a warm enough to burn toast where he is.

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Scots vote out ID cards

Steven

re: I can't understand it

"I'd have thought the Scots would have loved to force us English to carry ID cards when in Scotland."

Yes, but since most Scots (indeed most people around the world, in any nationality), aren't actually anything like their cultural stereotypes (which were formed many years ago), then you would be wrong.

Of course, you probably think that everyone in Scotland talks the same and that we don't have different regions like England does.

At least that's what the news seems to think ("and now for London, the south east, the north west, the north east, and now it's time for Scotland")

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GTA IV extra game download details emerge

Steven
Pirate

PC/PS3?

I'd assume that this will appear on the PC for free someday (ala Mass Effect).

So when will it hit the PS3 store?

Just curious.

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Employees sue for unpaid Windows Vista overtime

Steven
Stop

15 minutes?

Who the hell installed their versions on Vista and what rubbish did they add into it?

On my install, I'm at the login screen within 30 seconds and have my web browser and Steam up and running 30 seconds after that?

15 minutes? Someone's taking the piss with that figure...

*looks at the ambulance chasing lawyer*

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MPs declare their ignorance on the web

Steven
Unhappy

Oh dear

I've read and watched American Psycho.

I've played Soldier Of Fortune, GTA (all of them), Severance (where you could beat your opponent to death with their own arm), Duke Nukem 3D, Doom, Quake, (insert other random violent game here)

After doing all that (and more), I've yet to mutilate, rape, kill or defecate on any living or non living being...

But don't worry, here comes censorship to save me from all those evil children now, who will just be doing the same things I did when I was younger. Whoops, I just forgot - EVERY SINGLE child is now a gun-toting, knife wielding maniac who no longer gets the vicarious thrill of seeing an 18 rated movie at the age of 14 that I once got.

They go out into the streets every day and rape and pillage their way around their neighbours, friends and strangers in their way.

Yes, indeed. This censorship will make a big difference.

Loved the whole "tired old freedom argument" bit too - says it all really.

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Half of Brits abuse apostrophe's

Steven

A Voice-To-Text outfit conducted this survey?

Perhaps the problem's lie in their software, rather than in the method's that people use to express' themselves' to any survey's out there.

(I too bemoan the loss of our apostrophe's. This hurt to type.)

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Azure, Windows 7 and it's OK for MS to hate Vista, too

Steven
Joke

Predecessor?

"On more familiar territory, Microsoft served up some eye-candy by showing off the interface to Windows 7, the planned predecessor to Windows Vista."

Erm, did I miss the big news story that told us that MS had invented Type-40 Time Machines?

Or has it not been published yet?

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HMV keeps Warhammer-ers from goblins

Steven
Flame

Bleugh

After the shambles that GoA made of the beta start (Starts on Sunday? No, Monday? Oh, Tuesday... nice lack of communication too and then the firing of the Community Rep who felt insulted by a handful of posters and calling everyone Borderline Sociopaths) and then the distinctive lack of difference from Lord Of The Rings Online (my wife asked me if I'd gotten bored of waiting for Warhammer and had reinstalled LOTRO), this is surely the final icing on the cake for a lot of people.

Note to European companies: When you launch your account registration system on the same day as the beta launch after stating repeatedly THAT THERE WILL BE NO PROBLEMS and it goes tits up for 3 days, does it ever occur to you to look at the US company handling your game and see that they did Account Registration weeks before the actual game launch in order to iron out any problems?

One ex-I was looking forward to Warhammer fan, who's remaining with City Of Heroes and Tabula Rasa instead. (Besides, Sci-Fi>Fantasy any day)

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Steven
Thumb Down

Pre Order-Box

I'm a little confused by this whole "punters needed to leave their email address with HMV staff".

The pre-order box had 3 codes in it. One for Open beta(ha! That was a joke), one for Head Start and one for in-game items.

If you bought the pre-order box, then you had everything you needed. I gave my codes away after the disaster that was the beta.

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Rockstar confirms GTA IV PC edition

Steven
Thumb Up

Yawn

I think I've gotten a bit too old for the PC vs console vs console vs console snobbery (but just for the record, the Spectrum was better than the C64 and the Megadrive was better than the SNES).

I got this on the PS3 when it comes out, because the GTA games (since 3) have felt like games that should be played on the console.

I'll stick to my PC for first person shooters and MMOs though.

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How government will save you from P2P deviance

Steven

Wibble

"if they are like the ones all ready fired off they will include details eg "on friday the 21st aug at 18.03 you where downloading new boyband crap.mp3 this is a copy of a work and is proctedt by our copy right" if I get one with out any details on it I will reply with a letter that says somthing like "yer prove it"

And if I get anything like that I'm going to be writing something starkly worded wondering what legal backing they have to be even looking at the stream of my data? Especially since I haven't touched anything like that since the heady days of Kazaa (which was very handy for watching Buffy & Angel before they were broadcast).

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GTA IV website prompts outrage

Steven

Dark & Blurry

I have to admit, I found GTA IV to be terribly dark and blurry on the PS3 when I first played it.

Then I bought an HD telly and it looks so much better. The previously blurry images are now sharp and crisp.

One HDMI connection = all the difference. Same with all the games so far.

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Steven

Ah yes, those evil games...

Yes, good that the game encourages you to click on the link...

wait, you mean that if you click on the link, the game sends every police officer available after you, heavily armed and shooting on sight?

I'm sure there are some morals twisted here, but I'm not actually sure on which side for once...

Click on link in game: Get punished (in the manner that the game uses to penalise a player for their actions)

Click on link in real life: Get away with it for a long time, until you end up on the front page of the Daily Mail...

Mmmmh.

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Public don't want internet filters, MS tells MPs

Steven

@Karl Lattimer's Doom 3 Comment

"Playing DOOM3 has the ability to make you anxious and nervous, and at times quite terrified... These are all healthy emotions for the game you are playing, these are healthy HUMAN reactions. (p.s. anyone who says playing it didn't frighten them is lying) "

You're right. Doom 3 did make me anxious and nervous. At how badly generic it was. I wasn't terrified once, simply because my brain went... "Oh look, there's a shadow, I bet something is going to jump out at me."

And what do you know? It did.

"Oh look. There's a power up. I bet I get attacked when I pick it up."

And what do you know? It did.

Doom & Doom 2 made me jump. Half Life & HL2 made me jump. Doom 3 made me yawn. It's the only time I've ever traded in a PC game.

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OFT mulls Egg probe

Steven
Paris Hilton

Another Credit Risk here

Let's see. Not only am I a Credit Risk to Egg (£3700 balance - £0 outstanding), but I've also got a loan from them which will be finished this year.

So they've taken my Egg Card off me. Never used it, don't care. However, I'm wondering if I'll soon be told that my Fixed Rate Loan will soon stop me accessing it and that I'll only be able to make the minimum payment (ahem) and that I'll be unable to use their Money Manager, that I did use to access all my accounts.

Which I won't be using anymore, since I don't want someone who doesn't trust me being able to access all my accounts.

Paris, because even that plank of wood has more brain cells than Egg's idiot finance team.

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Microsoft! bids! $44.6bn! for! Yahoo!

Steven
Alert

Ahem!

Microsoft! deal! smacks! of! desperation!

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The Dark Knight - 2008's biggest movie?

Steven

@Tim

Not a patch on the Burton films?

Given that the Burton films just had a man dressed up as a bat, with more time spent admiring the villains (who were nothing like their comic book counterparts), than what made Batman, erm Batman, I'd have to say that you're far more interested in style over substance.

Batman Begins was a far better film, which made Bruce Wayne the centrepiece of the story. None of those 4 films made by Burton or Schumacher have been watched since Nolan's flick in my house.

I prefer a bit more depth to my superheros, rather than flash or spectacle.

Fingers crossed that Ledger nails the Joker (and by that, I mean the scarily intelligent, murdering psychopath from the best comics, not the glitzy Jack Nicholson wannabe, that most people seem to think the Joker is).

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Online gamer murders rival clan member

Steven

@Gavin

"I bet you also spout the 'guns don't kill people, people kill people' argument too... I think you'll find that the gun often helps. :)"

Sure it does. But you don't really hear about someone being killed by bits of code flying through the air (even if they are stored on specially sharpened DVDs).

Example a) Person X plays World Of Warcraft and then sets about slaughtering a shopping centre full of people. Daily Rags suddenly full of BAN THIS SICK FILTH headlines.

Example b) Person X drinks a pub's worth of beer and then sets about slaughtering a shopping centre full of people. Daily Rags condemn the animal loner, make tentative comments on how drunk he was, condem the culture that led him to drink, but don't actually yell BAN THE ALCOHOL

It's the person behind the killing that's the problem. They might have watched movie X, played game Y or listened to Satanic Rock track Z and go off the rails. Funny thing is, I've done the same thing and I still haven't felt the need to load up a shotgun and go on a spree.

Funnily enough, the only thing gaming has done for me is expand my circle of friends (yes, people I've actually met in the real world)and given me a lot of enjoyment. They haven't made me more violent.

If someone decides to kill someone because of a game, then they're pretty fucked up already - it's not the fault of the game.

/rantover

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Steven

Daily Mail

Oh dear, is it time for this again?

Once more for those who are too thick to realise it:- GAMES DON'T KILL PEOPLE, crazy people kill people.

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World of Warcraft spykit gets encrypted

Steven
Happy

@Daniel

And City Of Heroes > EVE Online

Our opinions shape these things, but it doesn't really matter to Blizzard. They have (allegedly) 8 million subscribers playing their piss poor game (samey graphics, horrible style). They can afford to do whatever the hell they want.

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Wikipedia not a publisher

Steven
Unhappy

Wiki may respond to change things quickly...

.... but if it's anything like the time's I've changed Wiki entries in the past, they'll quickly get changed back by some Wiki 'Nazi' who would rather have their own opinion/nutball information in place than the truth.

Wonder how many times they had to remove the gay reference here before some Wiki editor was given the boot for reverting it.

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Glasgow is UK's runner-up in software piracy stakes

Steven
Black Helicopters

Wait a minute

So, if Glasgow is getting all this attention from the BSA, why is nothing happening to Greater London, which should surely be getting even more attention?

Or is this yet another case of "It's happening in London, so we'll just brush that under the carpet?"

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