Seen...

in Aylesbury on Sunday afternoon...would have got a picture, if

a) I wasn't a woman and my phone hadn't have been buried at the bottom of my extremely capacious handbag holding the contents of my life

b) said phone had been anything other than a Jesusphone, and by the time I'd unlocked it, scrolled and opened the camera the car had vanished round the corner

c) because I'm too tight to buy a case I'm currently keeping it in a sock...which added valuable seconds to the time spent getting it out

d)that would have been irrelevant as I can't send sodding picture messages from said Jesusphone

Also, I think I'm going to have to stop reading El Reg, as no one I have told since has seemed half as excited about the sighting as I was...

@ How People Read

Now, I hate to pick you up on statistics (there are lies, damn lies and statistics) but I'd really love to know where you got your figure of 99% literacy in the UK? Working for an adult learning provider I can tell you that the figure is a hell of a lot lower than that.

http://www.literacytrust.org.uk/database/stats/adultstats.html

We use all sorts of methods to teach adults how to read and write but we teach them to read and write English as the majority of us, and other English speaking countries, understand it.

Also, strange that this story came out on what was National Literacy Day. Yes, I probably only know that it was because of my job...

JonB, you've gone quiet on the Malta front...

Arrr...

...me Friday is complete Jim Lad...

Speaking as one...

of the members of the FB group 'We have empty howling souls' spawned from a comments thread on El Reg itself (Hi John, hi Steve, hi everyone else *waves*) even I'm at a complete loss how anyone can possibly concieve that this was a good idea.

I'm off to post on Aaron Sorkin's page right now to tell him he really ought to consider bailing out on this one before he loses all credibility...

...and yes, I apologise for the confession I'm on facebook at all...

@ Chris G

If they stuck to the pubic purse, there would be less allegations of raging homosexuality...

@ Chris Miller

Winston Churchill forgot to mention the illegal drugs...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7585577.stm

Can I be the first

to say it was definitely not JonB and my good self...whiltst I do work in local government, it's miles away from Oldham...

@ bi66er

Great! Jon, that'll save on the wedding photographer! Book Bletchley Park as soon as you can! ;)

@JonB

Might be worth keeping more than a 'few bar staff' ;) I'm quite partial to an occasional drink in a hot climate!

@ Christopher Webb

Nor would I want to...

Although I do believe there are several sites on t'interweb where people have. Often purporting to be 'erotic fiction' ;) Difference being they'd involve the kidnapping, handcuffing, see-through skimpies, the mime troupe AND the five dogs. Allegedly...

In the grand scheme of things...

There are many practical examples of spelling not being overly important, but equally there are many for which it is vital. For instance, I work in a promotions and marketing role (awaits flames) for an adult learning provider in local government. The major part of my working life involves producing publicity materials such as prospectuses. You can imagine how important accuracy is in area like that...trust me, if you make a basic error someone will be on the phone complaining that as 'adult learning' we should know better. This is why I am a completely pedantic bore these days - it's ingrained into me.

Guess what? Although I did go to a grammar school, and did English Language at GCSE and 'A' level I chose not to go to university. My friend, who went to university, is quite possibly the worst culprit for you're, your, there, they're and their etc., that I know and is an international manager for a pharmaceutical software company. My father can't spell for toffee having left school at 14 with no qualifications, but that hasn't stopped him being a highly successful plumber for 40 years (just meant that someone else had to decipher his hand written notes and produce the invoices - hmmm, that would be me of late then).

*trying to remember point* However, we all three started from the same rules, and whilst I can forgive people for making the odd mistake, if we destandardise spellings, who will know what was originally meant? In this world it's hard enough not to get in accidental arguments via text or email as it is, without me wondering whether someone meant to say weird, wired, tried, tired etc.

@JonB - if you've freed me up from ironing duties, I should have the spare energy to take on Malta. I suppose not having the monsoon season should help keep the books dry. But won't the natives be a tad peeved?

Blimey!

We're all capable of the occasional typo, and for me personally my brain sometimes runs ahead of my fingers...generally when I'm in a real rush to be a pedant and correct someone else, making myself look stupid in the process, but REALLY?? As it is I have friends that texts make so little sense I have to reread them 4 times before I can decipher them. If we suddenly decide that spelling is irrelevant I'm going to go and find myself a little dwelling on an island in the middle of the Indian Ocean, build a library and stay there till I die.

JonB...on an island the ironing will be less of an issue...and I'll still do the cooking ;)

Address Bar

http://www.halifaxcourier.co.uk/news/Microsoft-founder-Bill-Gates-is

Insert choice of word/s...

Why

...do I get the feeling that I wouldn't want to come across some of you lot if I was a paediatrician? There is evidence of rational thought on both sides of the argument, but it does seem to have been drowned out by the 'baying mob'!

And for the record, so that I'm not accused of sitting on the fence, I'm largely against it due to the fact that wrongful convictions do happen, and not out of any bleeding heart sentimentality. As has been said, it's rather hard to 'unkill someone'.

Oh...

And definitely nothing to do with being a woman!

@ Jonathan Richards

Ah, I see what you did there...I mean you did do it on purpose I'm guessing? ;)

*pauses to check, check and double check for elementary errors*

@ JonB

Are we still talking clothing? As whilst I have no objection to 'a bit of character' (hell, Daniel Craig is a bit craggy and he's DEFINITELY get it), if you bear more of a passing resemblance to a Shar Pei I may have issues...

@JonB

*shuffles off to place furtive advert for domestic help*

*and advert for man who doesn't require ironing*

@ JonB

Take it the ironing was a step too far? *sigh*

@ JonB

Yes, but you can do your own ironing...or we get a domestic in ;)

Thank you..

...for dooming me (and therefore my colleagues in the office) to a long afternoon humming the theme tune to Dad's Army...

More importantly

...where's the exploding fridge story gone??? And BOFH??? The public demand answers!

Why...

...is the picture on the Telegraph website credited to the Manchester Evening News? Could the local papers not get to Banbury in time?

And more importantly, why am I bothered...you can tell I'm procrastinating on a Friday can't you...?

Hmmm...

'Ball's tash was spared the chop'

I really ought to retrieve my mind from the gutter...I have a mental image I could really do without at lunchtime...

I'm 10th...

...feel the magic ;)

And for the record all my friends are actually people I know!!

There's something quite romantic about having an empty howling soul...puts me in mind of Wuthering Heights...

Where is...

...amanfrommars wen you need a lucid explanation...

Re: Sydney Morning Herald

Surely the alleged victim should have some inkling of her darker side looking at her choice of props in that photo...

well...

...it would appear that whoever provided santabot.com was well aware that people would try to make it say bad things...It said I was a category C person. When I asked what a category C person was it gave me it's definitions of A, B and C. Go check it out and see which one you are!

Surely, M$ should have thought of this....oh, silly me...

Interesting response to the thorny question of existence...

You: Without the botmaster you would not exist

Santa: "Without your space helmet Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult" -- HAL.

Senility comes to all of us...

Me: What do you want for Christmas?

Santa: A humanoid body

Me: A humanoid body?

Santa: A dozen

Me: What do you want a dozen for?

Santa: What do I want a dozen for?

Me: I just asked you that

Santa: Ah yes. I remember you asked me that. What did you ask me?

*sigh* in cyberspace as in life...

Could've been worse...

...my sat nav once tried to leave me stranded in a bit of boggy wasteland between two labyrinthine housing estates in Milton Keynes...I'd much rather have taken my chances with the pasties...

RE: Paul James

Your camera phone might not have any problems, but my eyes are when trying to read it! Perhaps I spend WAAAAY much too time staring at the screen!!