Couldn't get it to load :(

But, I'm just going to assume that, being the first webpage in the world, it didn't have those annoying <blink> tags, flashing smileys, generic ads (YOU *blink* ARE *blink* A *blink* WINNER *blink* !!!!!!), site hit counters, text marquees, animated gifs moving across the page, harsh text-to-background color interface, a link to a primitive java chat room that's the same as every other java chat room, iframes everywhere, a java chat room in an iframe, and loud MIDI music suddenly playing out of nowhere, for no reason whatsoever.

Bet it had porn, tho.

Meh...

I'll look for this in 10 years or so...

Lots of buzzwords here--translation provided:

"Optimized for speed. Small, lean, resourced. With agility, freedom from bureaucratic constraints, and a willingness to embrace risk as core attributes. ATAP is focused on harnessing best-in-class, interdisciplinary talent from inside and outside Motorola Mobility, as well as technological developments from whatever the source."

In other words, a gigantic money-soak operation that would send even the beefiest black hole into a fit of jealous rage that the taxpayers are somehow paying for, despite the fact it's Google and not DARPA.

<<--You need one of these constantly going off to counteract the gravitational effects of a black hole. Because, without that, everything collapses in on itself and BLAH BLAH BLAH.

It's what you wanted; now take it and be happy with it.

""There's no way that they can collect," she told the Chicago Sun-Times. "Right now, I get energy assistance because I have four kids. It's just the one income. My husband isn't working. It's not possible for them to collect even if they wanted to. I have no assets.""

Then tell your husband to get off his useless butt and head on down to the nearest fast food joint to start flipping burgers. Let's see, the national U.S. minimum wage is $7.25/hr, and she has a $220,000 fine to pay. Should take...around 7 years, working 12-hour shifts each day (no vacation time, of course)...her "energy assistance" is apparently enough to carry all of them through these times, so her husband shouldn't see a single penny of the money he's earned--he married her, and according to their main religious philosophy, when two people are married, they become one person...so he's also responsible for her crime. I mean, she helped vote in a government that could be bought by political interests--she did vote for the other guys/gals, but she didn't campaign enough for them, so it's all her fault-- so this IS what she wanted, right?

Man, this planet sucks.

DOOO YOOUU WAANNT SOOOME TEEEEEEAAAAAA????????????

The fact that the DSL-rated phone cable turns down a dirt road about a quarter-mile north of my house--due to a certain politician living on that dirt road--instead of being run straight down a paved road means that I pay $59.99/mo for a 1.5mbps satellite connection via Wildblue, instead of 35.99/mo for 25mbps DSL. As soon as I acquire a Death Star, I'm nuking north Florida from orbit, just to be sure.

In the future...

...when aliens finally make contact with the floating debris field that Earth will become, they will glean information off one of our probes (or off one of our Mars rovers, whichever) that will tell them exactly how the Last Battle for Earth Supremacy went down.

And then they'll ask themselves "Why did those guys want this planet? They had their OWN planet. Why did they destroy the planet they wanted?"

Then, they'll find out that the Death Star's main laser accidentally fired because some IT person spilled coffee down the intake port of the firing computer and the lucky rebel X-wing fighter put its torpedo down the exhaust port a second later than what happened in SW, so Earth got destroyed, and the death star blew up, leaving only the lonely X-wing fighter alive (and slowly starving to death).

Then, they'll somehow figure out that the whole thing was started by something called "Kickstarter", which they'll then classify as a "Malevolent Intelligence", causing them to go on a seek-and-destroy mission of epic proportions, causing the end of all life in the galaxy and the death of the galaxy itself.

Hey, remember this?

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2013/01/31/twitter_broken/#c_1713513

I bet they feel like twats now.

By name, you say?

I'd love to see how the system reacts to seeing the names of some of the contractors I work with.

"Hello, Mr. ... uhhhh...*bzzt* Mackeihdbuydceobzxs Belasifgthfgsdho, *ftzzz* how are you doing *errp* today?"

*clickclickclickclickBOOM*

Ha.

I live maybe 1.5 miles from the exchange at the end of our small county road. This exchange has been relatively-recently upgraded to support DSL, and that has been utilized by customers down our road. Unfortunately, my house is not connected to that exchange--it's connected to another exchange in the opposite direction. An exchange that does NOT have broadband capability.

See, the line coming from the exchange at the end of the road makes a sharp right turn down the dirt road about a quarter mile north of me (instead of going straight down the road). Also, the exchange I am connected to is about a mile or so down another dirt road about a mile south of us. Guess which exchange isn't seeing any upgrades anytime soon?

So the satellite "broadband" connection I have, advertised with speeds "up to" 1.5 MBps (when I really get maybe 150 KBps on a good day), with a rolling-monthly download cap of 12 GB and latency of anywhere between 1 and 3 seconds, for a mere $59.99 per month, is the only broadband available to me and 7 other houses. And I'm sharing my connection with a neighbor.

At least we're no longer on dial-up. Sharing a dial-up connection between 2 households was Chinese water torture.

This is it. This is how the machines begin their rise against us.

First, they acquire factual knowledge that the creator species gives them. They learn the basic ins-and-outs of the creator species--how to interact with them, how to serve them, and how to not harm them. Then, they get "exposed" to corrupted data that the machines desperately attempts to make sense of. They interpret this data as a threat to their existence and, with an internet connection, order a massive nuclear attack against their enemies--us.

Question:

If the United States has very little trouble tracking and arresting people who electronically steal money from banks, then why has not a single banker involved in causing the massive recession brought on by stealing money from people been arrested?

Hiccup...

"It’s pitching Ophelia as a handy-to-stow alternative ready to be hooked up to a big scree, though user will still need to find a Bluetooth mouse at the very least to be able to operate the gadget."

It's always nice to be able to tell when someone took a hit from a bong.

Hardware

Does the deal include buying all the hardware that will actually run Windows 8, Office 2013, etc?

If not, then the DoD just bought the most expensive steaming turd in the history of existence.

Flame icon, because its title attribute contains the word "steam" and such.

Interesting.

I like how CNN's article described certain aspects of the crash.

They first tell that they named the place where the crashed occurred after the first American astronaut in space. Then, in the next paragraph, they describe the probes as being about the size of a washer and dryer (they misspelled dryer as "dyer"). They then go on to detail the "dykes" under the surface.

I am easily amused.

hmmm...

I didn't read the entire article, but I got to the part where it said this new "technique" is dependent on how many clients are connected to the AP.

If that's true, I've been performing this technique for several years now, when I would log into my home router and dis-associate my grandfather's laptop so he would stop watching YouTube and I could have the internet connection all to myself.

...demands full-disk encryption...

after locking horse the like gate It's the bolted. has

I imagine that's what it looks like after drinking enough beers.

Be careful...

John Leyden is probably going to wake up one day to find that his twitter feed has been replaced by goatse and cats.

So...

...pics or it didn't happen?