Posts by Dr Who

The fog has lifted

"for building prototypes for documentation processes in 12-week sprints"

I see. At last it's all perfectly clear.

Like many Reg readers I've been around a while and have seen my fair share of hype cycles, but the one surrounding blockchain is the biggest and the worst yet. Never in the field of tech has so much bollocks been spouted by so many. I have it on good authority that things ending in gasm are supposed to get smaller with time, but hypegasms just seem to get bigger and bigger.

PS Mildly bitter as I seem to have managed to miss my ride on the gravy train of pretty much every single tech hype cycle.

Online Opt-Out

To opt you out, the NHS first has to know what data it is holding on you. I will offer you even better odds than England losing on penalties that the NHS hasn't got the foggiest what data it holds on you, where it is, or what it is being used for.

Classic case of a problem that could (and should) be addressed by a conventional database. The only reason to use blockchain is where two or more parties who don't trust each other need to agree on a version of the truth. Traditionally this problem is solved by using a trusted intermediary such as a bank or land registry. With the blockchain the issue is resolved by having multiple nodes a majority of which must agree to validate a transaction AND where no single party controls a majority of the voting nodes.

In this case all the nodes belong to Microsoft and the blockchain is simply being used as a database to allow developers to view their royalties and how they were calculated. Should've been a normal database.

On the issue of GDPR it is prefectly valid to store data that is encrypted with someone's public key within the blockchain so that, in this case, a developer could only view the details of their own royalties. Transparency in the context of the blockchain is the ability for all nodes to view and agree on the integrity of the chain. It does not mean revealing private data that is not actually part of the chain's proof of integrity.

The digital deficit is coming to get us

Banks, telcos, healthcare you name it are all reaching the tipping point where a head in the sand approach to legacy tech has finally come home to roost, as we the illuminati all knew it would. Now that the costs of doing nothing are beginning to outweigh the costs of doing something, we should finally start seeing some action on all those things we've all been telling "them" about for all that time.

Trouble is, before things get better they will get worse. There is going to be soooo much pain as the band aids are slowly peeled off to reveal the festering decay beneath.

Save the best to last

"We've known for a long time that installing and patching our software is painful ..."

" ... but this is one of the first times we've really felt that pain ourselves. ...The challenge of upgrading every quarter at scale is immense."

That is very funny, except if you're a long standing on prem VMware customers.

Playground bullies

This bodes well for GDPR - not. The smaller you are the harder they'll hit you.

In countries where they've already pretty much completed this (Switzerland for example) the biggest headache has been elderly customers. It takes a lot to convince them that :

- If they haven't got it yet, they will need broadband.

- They will keep the same number (they never believe that bit - how can it possibly move to the internet?)

- No that favourite telephone they've had for the last thirty years definitely won't work any more¹ but the new ones are very nice

- The anxiety attacks they are having about possible disruption to what is often their main link to the outside world will pass in time

These are all serious and genuine concerns, and the answer has been to deploy very expensive teams of support staff to go and visit this segment of customers to help reassure them and handhold them through the transition. Warning, costs will go up as well as up.

1) without some additional non-standard equipment at at significant additional supply and setup cost.

Most blockchain use cases can be achieved with conventional databases. It is specifically where issues of agreeing a version of the truth (attaining trust) between multiple parties, without the use of an intermediary such as a bank or a land registry, where blockchain comes into its own.

This video of a talk by Gideon Greenspan, who is a blockchain architect, brilliantly debunks all of the hype and explains very clearly exactly where blockchain is better than a traditional database, and where it is not. I've never heard a more lucid, less BS explanation and no I have nothing to do with his company.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NK5Fz3w-H4o

Given the level of understanding and quality of questioning we saw from US law makers when failing spectacularly to bring Facebook to heel, I'm not too worried about this.

"So, why do you keep logs on your computing device?. Do you burn them to provide sustainable energy to run it? Or is it more to hold the device down in case it gets windy?"

"No sir, it's so we can track visitors."

"Ah I see, so each visitor leaves a stick or a log as a kind of thank you gift. Very good. By the way, my grandson has a computing device. Do you think he would be pleased if I left a log on it?"

"Yes sir, I'm sure he would."

"Thank you. You are free to leave".

"satellite office in Bude, Cornwall"

Hmmm. Maybe time for a career change. "The Russians are cracking our nuclear launch systems!" "Who gives a shit dude ... surf's up. Oh, and pass me a roach."

Too many chiefs?

500 x Immigration Technology Portfolio project delivery managers on £1000 day rate

5 x junior developers on £150 day rate

Rule Britannia!

Thank god we're leaving the EU. Once we return to being a small isolated island on the edge of a huge economic zone, instead of being a leading member of that huge economic zone, it'll be back to the glory days of the Empire.

No longer will Putin be able to poison people on our soil and then give us the bird. When our defence secretary says "go away and shut up" they'll take us seriously instead of laughing their pants off - oh yes indeedy.

And as to upstart heads of global tech giants, the only question they'll be asking when we summon them to Westminster is "how fast should I run?". You just watch, once we're out it'll be like Sampson growing his hair back. People will take notice again -you just wait and see.

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose!

So, I integrate my in house systems with the Mailchimp API. My in house system security is a pile of shite and we get compromised, giving the attacker full control over my Mailchimp account without needing to log on to Mailchimp directly (so the 2FA thing is actually irrelevant).

Guilty

The guy is obviously a pro. Getting arrested and chucked in a cell would scare the shit out of me.

B2B vs B2C

Much of the advice, scare mongering and FUD about GDPR focuses on consumer data. One thing I can't find a clear answer on is the impact of GDPR on B2B businesses. Say you run outsourced IT support for other companies. On your help desk system you hold personally identifiable information on all the employees of each of your customers. Do you need to get explicit consent from each of those employees to hold their data? Do your customers' employees have the right to be forgotten with respect to your help desk system?

Has anyone seen an authoritative legal opinion on this specific issue?

Inevitable

Tinder plugs hole

A rock star scientist in the fullest sense. RIP.

Tragic. I'm still using my original Swift. It's been a brilliant phone.

Has anyone got any recommendations for similar handsets i.e. a solid Android phone with regular software updates for those who don't need a penis extension with super high definition video and a gazillion megapixel camera?

Schadenfreude

I'm not going to beat around the bush here. It's about fucking time that these subbie bashing, small business destroying, undercutting, tax payer and pensioner robbing, corrupt and criminally negligent outsourcing wankers got their comeuppance. Not just Capita, all of them. They are all from the same mould and they have been getting away with it for far too long.

In our industry, the big consultancy/outsourcers are like supermarkets are to the farmers. If they can buy it cheaper abroad they will, or if not they'll squeeze the domestic suppliers until their pips squeak. Employees, the supply chain and ultimately the customer are there to be milked dry for the benefit of the share holders and senior management, who are generally long gone when the shit hits the fan.

Don't get me wrong, I am not remotely anti-business, it's just that these companies are not viable businesses, they are organised criminals.

Problem solved

With neural networks doing some deep learning to which we apply some AI algorithims this is no problem.

We simply scan in the new EU/UK trade agreement and the computer can then execute a billion trade transactions with itself and by the morning it will outperform even the greatest living customs officer. Particularly when chasing a bloke from Luton who's just smuggled in a van load of cheap fags from Bulgaria. Or opening a container door to check that what's in it matches the bill of lading.

The question is, does this raise the spectre of a total meltdown?

The site lost its CSS and JS ...

to reveal an old fashioned honest-to-goodness HTML web page. So the legal aid registration is borked but it gives you a powerful sense of nostaligia. It happened to me the other day on the BBC website and the emotional effect was quite surprising, a bit like a smell or a tune that reminds you of a moment long ago. Ahh - them were the days - simpler times!

We could still be the biggest system you bastards.

Cheers,

Pluto.

Won’t let make online payments, rather annoying and [an] inconvenience as our electric is about to run out! Then we will be buggered,

That's really unfortunate. First your power is going to go off and then someone is going to have anal sex with you. Really bad luck that is.

What ...

could possibly go wrong? Not like it's safety critical or anything.

In the interests of diversity

Crappy Old Chips Knackered Under Pressure