* Posts by Alistair Wall

51 posts • joined 23 Oct 2007

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Boffins pump hot, vivid fluid into squidgy robostarfish

Alistair Wall

Re: Hat

To hide the results of a previous experiment with squishy robot cephalopods.

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Molesworth and the New Latin

Alistair Wall

Re: Anyway

2005.

While I was looking that up, I found a bit I hadn't read before:

"... neither the author(s) nor Apress shall have any liability to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by the information contained in this work."

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What's in the box, Windows sysadmin?

Alistair Wall

Yes - use Powershell.

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Word and Excel creator: How Gates, Jobs and HAL shaped Office

Alistair Wall
Headmaster

"today, people confuse the homonyms"

"Simonyi was a programming protege "

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Steve Jobs had 'personal moral failures', was no role model

Alistair Wall
Headmaster

Proverbs 29:18

is in the Old Testament.

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Irish woman doesn't go down after scrotum ripping assault

Alistair Wall

These things come in threes

Also, why did it take four years to come to trial?

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Lemmings

Alistair Wall

It's in the <a href="http://www.apress.com/9781590594421">book</a> - page 50.

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Apple shares drop after Jobs resignation

Alistair Wall

new CEO

Bill Gates has a lot of time on his hands nowadays.

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Brit men descend from mammoth hunters, not farmers

Alistair Wall
Headmaster

men

It is not just British men who are descended from mammoth hunters. Any women who have fathers will also have a male line of ancestry from this source.

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Latest Hubble Snaptastic goodness: Centaurus A

Alistair Wall

scale

The scaled photo shows 8000 light years square, and the dimensions are 1000x1000 pixels, so each pixel covers an area of about 10^23 Wales.

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Entire London 2012 Olympics' cultural events database held on Excel

Alistair Wall

experience of managing a large and complex database

and no mention of backup and recovery.

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Brit expats aghast as Denmark bans Marmite

Alistair Wall

Excess vitamins

Excess water-soluble vitamins are excreted. Vitamins A and D accumulate in the liver, which is why you can get vitamin A poisoning from eating polar bear liver.

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BOFH: Attack of the Global Corporate Overlords

Alistair Wall

how long's the PFY ...

Anyone twentyfive years younger than you is a child and always will be.

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Fired-up eco-boffin gives it '180 per cent'

Alistair Wall

O level arithmetic (1973)

180% is 70 percentage points more than 110%, but only 64% more.

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Moderate boozing good for your heart: Official

Alistair Wall

We should do this for the next G20 summit

<a href="http://xkcd.com/617/>or perhaps not.</a>

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Hansard to pulp paper processes

Alistair Wall
FAIL

Complicated?

"The spokesperson said the system is complicated, as each parliamentary question has a unique identity number and the answer has to be linked to this."

Foreign keys are complicated?

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Paris Hilton meets bikers, opens up... wallet

Alistair Wall

nuggest?

Is this a new Reg unit?

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Buyer's Guide: all-in-one inkjet printers

Alistair Wall
Linux

Linux drivers

How can you do a review of printers without saying whether they work in Linux?

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Daily Mail breaks iPhone 4 recall scoop

Alistair Wall

not just the mail

http://service-architecture.blogspot.com/2010/06/orange-say-that-iphone-4-has-been.html

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Copyright wally of the week

Alistair Wall

fair use

The copyright notice on the Wind-Watch website does say "This site contains copyrighted material, the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. ", followed by the EFF fair use policy.

Tom Stacy's proposal would fit a careful reading of this policy.

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Utah Attorney General tweets execution go-ahead

Alistair Wall

given a death penalty it's probably pretty obvious

The lawyers have argued that a case of meningitis at the age of four may have caused Gardner considerable brain damage, debilitating his capacity for empathy and impulse control. He was also sexually abused, used drugs between the ages of six and 11 and had a troubled childhood, with two parents who were both alcoholics and physically abusive.

http://www.pbs.org/wnet/need-to-know/culture/jurors-in-death-row-case-speak-out-as-defendant-faces-firing-squad/1501/

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Boffins snare swollen 'excited giant' in forcefield prison

Alistair Wall

a "ponderomotive force" field

Named after the wizard Ponder Stibbins.

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Austrian takes pickaxe to Street View spymobile

Alistair Wall
Headmaster

Kangaroos in Austria

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4813976.stm

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Secret documents: The Truth about MoD's UFO files

Alistair Wall

Dr David Clarke of Sheffield Hallam

distinguishes him from Dr David Clarke of Glasgow, and from a bunch of Americans.

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BOFH: The PFY Chronicles

Alistair Wall
Pint

spoiler alert

May I be the first to ask whether the BOFH really dead, or whether the PFY has persuaded his LUG to stage a fake funeral while the BOFH is on his annual pilgrimage?

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Gas mask bra secures Ig Nobel prize

Alistair Wall

Pandas

This, Chris Packham (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/09/22/panda_death/) is why we need to save the giant panda.

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Cosmic flashbulb effect caused by 'black-hole invaders'

Alistair Wall
Boffin

ccentripetal force battling with the hole's pull?

The centripetal force IS the hole's pull

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Cats mix baby 'cry' with purr to score dinner

Alistair Wall
Headmaster

Call youself a sub?

Didn't Death say "CATS. CATS ARE NICE".

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Alistair Wall

@Andrew Culpeck

PG Wodehouse: Cats as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by that fact that in Ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods.

It's from one of the Mulliner stories.

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Orange UK exiles Firefox from call centres

Alistair Wall
Troll

Plug in

Aren't there any plugins for IE to emulate Firefox?

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Rogue Atlantis knob removed by hand

Alistair Wall

@Doug Glass

http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/spacepen.asp

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Bloke uses nail clippers to go roundhead

Alistair Wall
Pint

Why?

He is demonstrating his genetic fitness by his ability to endure pain and recover from injury - nowadays, drinking a lot of beer is not enough to set him apart from the competition.

The girls will be queuing up when he comes out of hospital.

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German old timers torture financial adviser

Alistair Wall
Boffin

@Andy Barber

In German, these are very different: Rufen Sie Polizei/Rufen Sie Grundsatz, so the advisor must have been writing in French, Italian or English, where the captors might have missed a message that was subtle enough for the Swiss bank to miss it.

We need a zimmer frame icon.

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OpenOfficers pitch Oracle on life after Sun

Alistair Wall

Collaboration Suite

has been replaced with Beehive. I thought you would know that.

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Worm burrows into Church of England email system

Alistair Wall
Linux

@AC 15:19

c) Call the Microsoft helpdesk - Science 0, Medieval superstitious bullshit 1

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Secret emails reveal sexing-up of Iraq dossier

Alistair Wall

Frankenstein

The joke was about a claim that Hussein had <em>assembled</em> experts for his nuclear programme.

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Google's MapReduce suddenly not so backward

Alistair Wall

@AC

select min(id) keep (dense rank first order by ((x-p_x)*(x-p_x) + (y-p_y)*(y-p_y) + (z-p_z)*(z-p_z)) ) from points

(Oracle syntax)

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Bear prints found on Georgian cyber-attacks

Alistair Wall

ex-patriot?

Nino Doijashvili is probably an ex-patriat rather than an ex-patriot.

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Obama bloats Vista by 11MB

Alistair Wall

Linux

This affects Linux as well - I have just tested it on OpenOffice/PCLinuxOS.

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Al-Qaeda targets net-connected coffee machine

Alistair Wall

not the first

It is not the first networked coffee maker: http://www.ddj.com/architect/184409827

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American auto dealer offers free handguns

Alistair Wall

@Chad H

Jean de Menezes did not skip paying for the tube.

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30 years of Spam - and we ain't finished yet

Alistair Wall
Boffin

11% of people?

If 20% of the population is online (1.3 billion/6.5 billion) and 11% of people admit to buying from spam, then more than 50% of internet users buy from spam. This seems rather high.

It is more likely that the universe of Sophos' survey was not "people".

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McAfee 'Hacker Safe' cert sheds more cred

Alistair Wall

screen readers

The alt text says alt="HACKER SAFE certified sites prevent over 99.9% of hacker crime." even if the image is not displayed (eg http://www.haworthpressinc.com/default.asp).

Does this mean that blind users will be told that the site has passed the test when it hasn't?

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Bolluxed router configuration? Click here for help

Alistair Wall

@ Ash

flashback table "Users" to before drop;

or if you are using a cheapo version of Oracle,

create table "Users" as select * from "Users" as of timestamp (systimestamp-1/24);

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Quake rocks Britain

Alistair Wall

Global Warming

It was due to global warming - the north of Britain is still bouncing back after the weight of ice pushed it down in the last ice age.

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English language succumbs to Symbiotic Ephemeralization

Alistair Wall

Be fair

According to the revision history, it is only a draft.

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Daring Register raid snatches key government URL

Alistair Wall

Plan B

I thought perhaps they mistyped http://www.ictmarketingstrategy.gov.uk/, but that domain is free as well.

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VMware clobbers the world, while big, solid disks rise

This post has been deleted by a moderator

BOFH: Friday madness

Alistair Wall
IT Angle

The solution

Ensure all the clocks in the office are synchronised to UTC, then install your own time server.

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Security minister defends ID cards, longer detention

Alistair Wall

pedantry

Did he actually say "giga-terror" , "giga/tera" or "giga ... tera"?

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