* Posts by Schultz

1014 posts • joined 22 Oct 2007

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BOFH: Never mind that old brick, look at this ink-stained BEAUTY

Schultz

Good one...

building up all the way to the punchline.

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Snowden dump details Canadian spies running false flag ops online

Schultz
Boffin

Blobs of data

Is that the new official TheRegister unit for data? How to convert blobs to bits, bytes, and encyclopedias? Are we allowed to use milliblobs and Megablobs? Is a blob divisible, is it quantized?

Curious minds want to know...

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Blighty's 12-sided quid to feature schoolboy's posterior

Schultz
Unhappy

schoolboy's posterior...

am I the only one who, after reading the headline, was a bit disappointed that the coin features flowers instead of the schoolboy's posterior?

Well, there is always the front side to redesign in the upcoming republic of GB.

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Bulk interception is NOT mass surveillance, says parliamentary committee

Schultz
Holmes

...could scan all emails, find any with red flags and then only store those ones

Right, the red flag being that it's not the 538925th copy of some spam mail. This way they can easily claim to not store most of the email traffic. Surely, advanced algorithms can be used to filter out other trivial dross ("I'll be late tonight, darling" and similar) and they'll be left with the truly dangerous original thought crimes.

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Nothing says 'Taliban' quite like net neutrality, eh, EU Digi Commish?

Schultz
Devil

My favourite moment...

...is when the CEO of Telekom talks about the speed of light being too slow to transmit traffic data to a server (for self-driving cars, I assume). I quote "The speed of light is not enough".

I of course totally agree and I think they should get somebody working on the issue. Going beyond c would really open new markets! Else they have to limit German cars to sub-relativistic speeds, but that would never fly with the voters.

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Quantum computers have failed. So now for the science

Schultz

"What was even better is that there wasn't a single bit of difficult maths in the entire piece"

Physics is mathematics applied to describing the world. Leaving the math out simply means that the article has been dumbed down sufficiently to contain no hard physics.

Now what was the point again?

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UK Supreme Court waves through indiscriminate police surveillance

Schultz

But data collection is sooo valuable ...

... as in Monthy Pythons 'Stop the Film': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1pcEpSaboo

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CIA re-orgs to build cyber-snooping into all investigations

Schultz

That'll be fun in the next James Bond

JB: ... I discovered the evil lair, no personnel on site, make CIA send a team asap ...

Moneypenny: Now where was that new 'assistance under duress' form on the innovatively integrated CIA contact site. Darn, I only find the new leveraged delegate decision-making and accountability rules. Why didn't they intercept JB's message by now? Maybe we shouldn't send them those other exabytes of data every day ...

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OK, they're not ROBOT BUTLERS, but Internet of Home 'Things' are getting smarter

Schultz

Re: "Why anyone would ever want 22 different wash cycles or more is another matter."

I expect that a smart washing machine allows me to play dumb. Why should I waste time thinking about the duration of the rinse cycle if the machine should be able to figure it out without me? After all, it contains all those smart sensors and can make decisions based on the full engineering brainpower of the manufacturer.

I love our LG machine that allows me to fill a 19 kg drum with a few briefs and it'll figure out how much water and time it needs without me second guessing it. That's what I call progress!

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Storm in a K-Cup: My SHAME over the eco-monster I created, says coffee pod inventor

Schultz

There is a compromise...

for those stuck with the capsule maker in the office:

http://www.capsules-compatibles.fr/capsule-compatible-nespresso-reutilisable/

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C'mon! Greece isn't really bust and it can pay its debts

Schultz
Flame

Piece of bollocks

The article blames the common currency for problems that have nothing to do with the currency: Economic bubbles are inflated when reckless lenders lend to reckless investors. It doesn't matter in which currency the transactions are booked. You can only argue that the reckless investors had an easier time to find reckless lenders because the latter failed to recognize that an invested Euro in a German factory might offer different returns from an invested Euro in a vacation apartment on the Spanish coast.

As to recovering from the crises, having a separate currency can be helpful because the debt can be inflated away. But history shows that inflation is rarely painless for a country or its people.

Europe needs smarter banks with better understanding of the different European regions, Europe needs a more flexible budget that puts money where it is needed (independent of national borders), Europe needs free flows of capital and people to smoothen out regional problems. Europe does not need border fences, import taxes and separate regulations for each market.

I live in Korea and just build up a lab. I now waste a lot of time and paper with international orders and customs, much more than I did in Europe. Often we end up paying 20-30% extra to get a company handling the import -- don't tell me that this is an effective way to do business.

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It's a Mega blast: PayPal drops Dotcom's Mega

Schultz

... allegedly, you are not allowed to backup your legit copy…

I guess that strongly depends on where you live.

But maybe the US of A simply anticipates future international laws and preemptively ensures that the world is compliant.

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Get yourself connected: GrovePi+ Starter Kit

Schultz

Boredom factor

The problem with the starter kits is that you can only build stuff that has already been thought through by someone else before you. The real fun kicks in when you build something new. That involves reading datasheets, but I'd claim that's a useful thing to learn.

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Hoping for spy reforms? Jeb Bush, dangerously close to being the next US prez, backs the NSA

Schultz

Meet the brother ...

same as the other brother.

Surprised?

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Snowden leaks LEGALISED GCHQ's 'illegal' dragnet spying, rules British tribunal

Schultz

"At a guess, maybe 0.0001% of communications between people are ever genuinely intercepted"

What about the fake intercepts? Should we ignore the fake intercepts?

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Charles Townes, inventor of the laser and friend to both science and religion, dies

Schultz
Boffin

My score (11) [lasers]

Yes, same here.

Oh wait, where did I put my mass spectrometer?

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Schultz

Atheist philosophers but agnostic physicists

"When I need to find a good atheist to take part in a debate, I always go to the Philosophy department. It's useless trying to find one in the Physics department"

I would agree with that statement because physicists (or good scientists in general) tend to be rather agnostic. You can't predict, reproduce, or prove your god? Well in that case your religious theory remains unconfirmed. Next theory please.

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Zimmermann slams Cameron’s ‘absurd’ plans for crypto ban

Schultz

@AC above

"A population and its government must use every means possible to keep pushing back against those who would exploit, kill and abuse them." (AC here)

Seriously?

As in "Death is the solution to all problems. No man - no problem." (Stalin)?

Or as in "The great strength of the totalitarian state is that it forces those who fear it to imitate it." (Hitler)?

Always doubt those who peddle moral absolutes, final solutions, or total commitment. You are allowed to quote me on that.

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Let's be clear, everyone: DON'T BLOCK Wi-Fi, DUH – FCC official ruling

Schultz

Re: "shunting the outside signals"

I smell a marketing opportunity for copper-mesh reinforced wallpaper. It'll be easily financed via the hotel wireless fees!

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SCIENTIFIC CONSENSUS that 2014 was record HOTTEST year? NO

Schultz

They "want to take away your money and your standard of living ...

... it's health care, it's regular showers and clean clothes, ... it's your whole life."

For someone arguing against undue alarmist statements, you sound awfully alarmist to me.

Just my 5 cents.

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CIA exonerates CIA of all wrongdoing in Senate hacking probe

Schultz

"the protection of work product"

Did they just make up some weird terms to make sure nobody knows what they talk about? Maybe that's what they should do with all their top secret stuff: obfuscate it until nobody knows what's going on.

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GCHQ: We can't track crims any more thanks to Snowden

Schultz

AC: Personally I would cut the drugs with something

You are disgusting! I hope other people show you more compassion than you show them.

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Uber surge pricing kicks in during Sydney siege

Schultz

Overreaction?

It seems like there is no massive coordinated attack (think Mumbai 2008) , so is locking locking down large parts of the city maybe a little over-reaction? Hostage situations existed before today's terror craze. Maybe restarting the bus service might relieve the public transport situation a bit?

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Apple seeks patent for user-configurable progress bar

Schultz

Another one ...

for the inevitable patent war II where they'll clobber and bury the opposition in paper. I can already imagine the binder catapults.

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Coming clean: Ten cordless vacuum cleaners

Schultz
Go

Re: Wandered into an alternative universe...

You must be new here, so you missed the preceding story on the X-rated circus of horrors.

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'Snoopers' Charter IS DEAD', Lib Dems claim as party waves through IP address-matching

Schultz

"communications data capability gap", "gaps in our armoury of powers",

but what about the gap between her ears? Shouldn't we worry about that one too?

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Don't assume public trusts you, MI5. 'Make a case' for surveillance – Former security chief

Schultz

She won't get the answer she likes...

I trust Snowden as his revelations were largely confirmed. (As I remember, the last line of defense was: of course we do all that boundless spying and lying, that's what we are paid for.)

I trust Isis, they quite truthfully announce their intentions and follow through with it - - I just don't like what they do.

I don't trust the secret service of the US and GB, after all they engaged in a large misinformation campaign surrounding the Snowden revelations and have been quite consistently lying those last years.

Trust must be earned and I am sorry to say that the MI5 is somewhere at the bottom of the scale in that regard!

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You can crunch it all you like, but the answer is NOT always in the data

Schultz

You failed to talk about the hidden danger of testing multiple hypothesis against a set of data

Any hypothesis based on the data should be assumed as flaky unless tested by independent data. Lets go through an example:

You throw your perfect coin 10 times and have a 100 people (subjects) trying to control the result by mind power. There are 2**10 = 1024 possible outcomes. The result will probably be disappointing, even with very hard concentration your subjects should not be able to control the coin more than 50% of the time. But once you got that result, you might break down the group of subjects into subgroups -- wouldn't it make sense that the power is stronger in some than in others? Lets split the group in male and female, large and small, sort them by skin color and eye color, age and place of birth. Suddenly you have 1000 possible sub-groups and you will forcibly find a statistically significant control over the coin toss in some sub-group. But every extra hypothesis actually reduces the significance of your result -- so the correlation is worthless. The correlation must be tested against new data to be significant.

This problem does occur in serious academic research and a quite senior professor recently reported that some humans have a statistically undisputable ability of foresight (but only the males , only involving sexual pictures, ... and whatever else was required to make his data talk).

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The 'fun-nification' of computer education – good idea?

Schultz

Gamification is great...

but you have to face that only some of the kids will like your game when it gets harder. Afterwards you either force it down everybody's throat or you accept that the kids go back to their own favorite games.

The question is whether you just want to give everybody a little taste, hoping that some get hooked or if you want to educate beyond that.

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Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future

Schultz

Bring on the badge...

But the vulture droppings should gracefully decay with time, from gold ... to silver ... to bronze ... to whatever vulture poo is supposed to look like. The Fail OTW should get the ungilded version directly.

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NSA Sentry Eagle placed spies in private companies

Schultz

NSA simply "recruit the guy causing the block"

Now this would explain their thirst for collecting all information everywhere: It's simply a recruiting tool.

Now see, we are willing to pay you good money to destroy your company's product and integrity, but if you don't want our money we might also consider releasing a few images from your Friday night wanking session (you did know that you computer has a camera, didn't you?). Our profile of your wife indicates that she might be highly receptive to such data.

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Cops and spies should blame THEMSELVES for smartphone crypto 'problem' - Hyppönen

Schultz
Unhappy

Breaking trust

The true price of the boundless secret spying won't be evident for a long time and will be due to the loss of trust within and among states. We thought we lived in some kind of international utopia and could travel and trade without boundaries. Now the three letter agencies reminded us that you can't trust anybody -- not even the government of an apparently enlightened state.

If you ever wondered whether the next century belongs to the Chinese or US model of governing -- stop wondering, they nicely converge.

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Chatting to Al Qaeda? Try not to do that – Ex spy chief defends post-Snowden NSA

Schultz

All those selfless people sacrificing their life for the noble cause

Wait a moment, sacrificing their life? That sounds a bit too fanatical to me. Here I thought that we enlightened westerners don't do that anymore.

But then it looks like they try to emulate their opponents to make sure they don't have an edge. - - we have to close the suicide bomber gap, we have to close the evilness gap, we have to ensure the survival of civilization. Hello Mr. Strangelove.

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Labour outsources digital policy, Tories turn up to finish it

Schultz
Boffin

It's just PR

An nobody on The Register is part of the target audience. But don't worry, before the next election they'll tell you exactly what you want to hear (provided you have been a good boy, keeping all those cookies they sent you).

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Poverty? Pah. That doesn't REALLY exist any more

Schultz

... everyone can just get a cheque to cover the basics ...

In some countries (I come from Germany), the welfare benefits do approach the weekly 130 pounds and I agree that it's a good sign that the society can afford this. But the way those programs are currently shaped are quite problematic: big bureaucracies to determine individual needs, more bureaucracy to push people back into work, and the whole thing is constructed in a way that minor jobs will simply be deducted from the welfare, so there is no incentive to work small jobs. I know of an example, where a highly qualified academic couldn't quickly return to part-time work, because nobody was willing to take care of her new kid as part-time job. Every candidate proclaimed that not working payed just as well as that lousy part-time job. Work should always pay, but it doesn't.

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New Snowden leak: US and Brit spooks 'tap into German telco networks to map end devices'

Schultz
Facepalm

With 20:20 hindsight ...

after all the Snowden revelations, you are correct. But before, did anybody seriously believe the US would do all of those things on such a massive scale? Benevolent US, the giver of democracy and peace, selfless promoter of trade and wealth, ... well, replace that with selfish, scared bunch of greedy b**turds.

They are willing to destroy all the trust that was built in the post cold-war period. Do you still expect the rising powers to constructively engage in a peaceful, multilateral world of trade and information exchange if the US subverts (or tries to subvert) every electronic device they can get their hand on? The US started the new cold war in cyberspace, let's hope it stays there.

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Apple Pay is a tidy payday for Apple with 0.15% cut, sources say

Schultz
Devil

Weather balloon from the credit card companies

But why it only applies to every $100 spent remains a mystery to me. should we expect a lot of $99.99 special offers in the near future?

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Net neutrality fans' joy as '2.3 million email' flood hits US Congress

Schultz
Trollface

A good argument for bandwidth managenent

The FC just realized what happens if everyone can sent unlimited numbers of emails. High time to manage those tunes!

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Heavy VPN users are probably pirates, says BBC

Schultz

... education programs to stop Australians pirating

Oooh, is that the annoying 3 minutes of stupid advertisement ''You are a CRIMINAL!'' they like to insert when you pay good money to see a movie? I love those, not.

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Snooptastic US CELL TOWERS pose man-in-the-middle THREAT

Schultz

Purely hypothetically...

Purely hypothetically, what country would you be talking about?

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Kaspersky backpedals on 'done nothing wrong, nothing to fear' blather

Schultz

Re: Everyone got something to hide

With the modern 'catch all' laws against terrorism (watching videos or visiting websites), IP theft, ... everybody is a criminal.

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Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

Schultz

Re: It's just mathematical equivalency

You got it. and with all the matter in the universe, we can never build a computer large enough to simulate all the matter in the universe, so we can't answer the ultimate questions of 'where did it all come from' or 'is there a free will or is the Universe simply evolving from one particular starting point'. We can speculate and disprove a lot of wrong hypotheses, that's about it.

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Apple, Samsung call off all patent spats outside United States

Schultz
Coat

Strange decision...

After all they have LOTS of money sitting abroad that could be used to pay foreign lawyers, but that can't be used to pay off the shareholders. Also, this will undermine the credibility of their thermonuclear judicial war, will they abandon Steve Job's legacy?

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IBM can't give away its chip business: report

Schultz
Stop

"Big Blue is believed to leak a billion or two dollars each year"

<pendant>

Big Blue is believed to leak one or two billion dollars each year.

FTFY (or did IBM suddenly loose their famed accounting abilities / stopped counting the peanuts)

</pendant>

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CIA super-spy so sorry spies spied on Senate's torture scrutiny PCs

Schultz
Facepalm

So now it's official

The American security services don't give a rat's ass about the democratic system they are meant to protect. Checks and balances? That's so last century! Now they check everything and balance any critical reporting with made-up official statements, inofficial leaks, and covert propaganda.

The only way to solve this problem is to cut their budget; when the gravy train stops, all those smart boys may go out and do something productive. But I guess the failure to recognize any of the recent threats (Arab spring *6, Ukraine crisis, ...) will just be a reason to spend more money.

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China in MONOPOLY PROBE into Microsoft: Do not pass GO, do not collect 200 yuan

Schultz

With decades of experience as monopolist ...

I would assume that MS keeps the paper trail clear of incriminating evidence. But then who knows what they are writing down in Chinese.

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Comcast bosses: THAT pushy sales rep was only obeying orders

Schultz
Happy

Can we agree on a safe word to cut the crap?

Something like "stop #$@&%*! buggering me and cancel the service",

or "#$@&%*! cancel the #$@&%*! contract",

or "why the #$@&%*! #$@&%*! don't you #$@&%*! listen and #$@&%*! confirm my #$@&%*!#$@&%*!#$@&%*! request".

The retention agent would stop retaining everybodies time, the customer could release some steam to hold off the next heart attack, and the customer rating would improve to #$@&%*! horrible.

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Lawyer reviewing terror laws and special powers: Definition of 'terrorism' is too broad

Schultz
Go

Definition too broad?

If somebody is afraid of you, then you are a terrorists. Full stop. Turns out the politicians / the police are afraid of a lot of things, so the broad definition makes perfect sense.

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Want to beat Verizon's slow Netflix? Get a VPN

Schultz

Re: not so clear

"Actually, all this test means is that the default path between Netflix and this guy is congested, and that the paths between Netflix and the VPN host, and between the VPN host and this guy, are not congested."

And I thought the internet routes packages the fastest way, not the shortest way (for your personal definition of 'short'). Somebody somewhere is steering the traffic and is not doing a good / honest job.

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'Two-speed internet' storm turns FCC.gov into zero-speed website

Schultz

Comments can be emailed [... and will] be considered

... if they agree with the forgone conclusion.

FTFY. Or am I cynical?

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