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* Posts by Tim Lane

26 posts • joined 19 Oct 2007

Obama bloats Vista by 11MB

Tim Lane

Imagine

If it took all that to add Klum, It's a good thing they didn't try to add Raxicorocophalapitorious.

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Consider yourself Moderatrixed

Tim Lane
Boffin

Help Me

My jet black jeans fall gracefully over my cuban heels and my shirt and tie are always co-ordinated, I shower daily and have a range of deoderants and aftershaves. I am of average height.

However, I am still a rather geeky IT guy and as such am terrified of women. The moment I meet an attractive woman I start acting like a complete idiot, even though I am well adjusted in any other social situation. Is there anything I can do about this?

Help me moderatrix, you're my only hope.

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RAF strafes Next in pirated duvet copyright rumpus

Tim Lane

Never

in the field of bedding has so much been owed by so many to so few.

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BOFH: Lift laughs

Tim Lane

Perfect World

I tend to Imagine Simon as Paul Kaye in Perfect World. Michael Cochrane would make a good boss too. PFY is a little harder, perhapse Rasmus Hardiker (Raymond from Saxondale).

God I love IMDB.

Otherwise Richard E Grant for Simon.

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Billg quits Facebook

Tim Lane
Paris Hilton

Friends

All my facebook friends bart one are people I know in real life, allthough some I have not met in real life for years. It is handy for keeping in touch with my UK friends since I moved to Germany.

The one is an astonishingly attractive Australian girl I got chatting to on Texas Hold'em.

I am still inundated wioth pointless requests, most of which I ignore.

Paris because my Ausie "friend" is better looking.

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English language succumbs to Symbiotic Ephemeralization

Tim Lane
Go

I like the word...

Noetic, can anyone tell me what it means so I can try to use it in conversation?

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Hamster-in-rain emergency prompts 999 call

Tim Lane

I for one

Welcome our Waterproof Hamstine Overlords

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Dallas man accidentally shoots self in head

Tim Lane
Flame

Don't mention the war.

Oh come on, in Britain our drunken idiots manage to kill themselves without guns all the time. Every country is going to have its share of idiots, Its just that America makes it easier for them to kill themselves.

Right, Who mentioned the war? I would not do anything to disparage the brave people of all the countries that fought in the second world war (on both sides). However I'd like to point out that there were many occasions between September 1st 1938 and December 7th 1941 when Brittain and the Allies could easily have lost, but in fact held there own without US help, the Battle of Britain being only the most famous. The US didn't join in until they were sure we could win.

PS I'd like to say to Alex Timchula that yours is the only sensible post on here.

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Star Trek XI teaser trailer beams onto web

Tim Lane
Boffin

I heard Lindsey Lohan will be in this...

She plays Picard after an accident in the transporter involving some chronoton particals and a lot of Oestrogen.

Seriously, I will be watching this when it comes out, I can't believe Star Trek fans are fussing about continuity, its Sci Fi, there doesn't need to be continuity as everything can be explained by quantum singularities and parallel universes.

I mean why is it that in Undiscoverred Country it is the Excelsior that is tracking Gasious Anomolies at the start of the film and the Enterprise that is carrying the equipment to do so at the end?

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Alcohol enema bloke wins 2007 Darwin Award

Tim Lane
IT Angle

Laptop in a car crash

I was once asked to repair a laptop that had been in a car crash. The car had gone over a telagraph pole in the road at night (it had fallen off a lorry apparently), the pole had ripped out the petrol tank, which exploded.

The driver survived as did his laptop which just had a few burn marks on the casing but when he tried to boot it he got the error "non systems disk or disk error" so he brough it to me to see if I could do any thing with it.

I ejected a floppy disk from the drive and it booted fine.

This was in about 1994.

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Megan's Law snafu fingered in rapist's murder

Tim Lane
Unhappy

Help!

This story has absolutely no redeeming features. Rapist Killed by vigilante due to admin error.

The rapist was wrong to rape,

The murderer (Whatever the motivation, thats what he is) was wrong to murder.

The people who's (real) crimes led to the introduction of the database are evil.

The database shouldn't exist with or without errors, because as far as I can see its sole purpose must be to promote vigilanteism. Did they think that upon finding a neigbour on the list people would politely ask them if they mind not molesting their children.

So there is nothing to redeem anyone involved.

Please can we have a story that will give me some hope that we are not spiralling into the abyss? It is Christmas afterall.

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Paris Hilton cavorts naked in middle of desert

Tim Lane

Classy

Champagne in a can? Classy. Paris Hilton? Classy.

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w00t voted 'Word of the Year'

Tim Lane

@ Shakje

How dare you? My mother is a saint!

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Campaign to name US street after Douglas Adams

Tim Lane
Linux

Storing Penguins

I have heard I only use ten percent of my brain, but I didn't know the other ninety percent was used for storing penguins?

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Beer set to hit four quid a pint

Tim Lane
Alien

End of the world

Aren't we supposed to lie down on the ground with a paper bag over our heads?

You Can if you want

Will it help?

No

Last Orders Please.

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Wii grasses up cheating wife

Tim Lane
Go

To add absolutely nothing to this debate:

I think if you love someone enought to marry them you should not cheat. But also If you love someone enough to marry them you should forgive them if they cheat on you. I also think that how one cheats is important and it has to be sort of case by case. It is possible to have a meaningless extra marital shag and a couple could probably work through that buit it is also possible for two people (one married) to fall in love without shagging and then there would be trouble. For the record I am unmarried. Also, I don't think snogging counts at all (Unless I have missinterpreted the term) I have snogged girls who are just friends and even ones who are married, usualy drunkanly but it means nothing to either of us.

PS, War in Iraq was wrong but can't be blamed on the soldiers.

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Mourinho will be next England manager

Tim Lane

I could do a better job.

I know FA about football, I can't stand the game but I came up with one single change that would improve Englands game immesurably. I would change the players contracts so that if they do not win the game they don't get payed.

That would give them something to play for.

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Need a new set of b*llocks? Try Argos

Tim Lane

Not at all surprised

Since I have bought all sorts of bollocks at Argos over the years.

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Crack a puzzle, win a WWII Enigma machine

Tim Lane

It is a riddle,

wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma

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Crime-busting gator kills Florida fugitive

Tim Lane

Could be wrong but

I could be talking out of my arse here as I have no real knowledge of this but don't American Indians (or what ever the politically correct term is) believe they can turn into various animals? Maybe it was a car owner getting his own back?

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Lily Allen gets 'social networking' TV show

Tim Lane

reserving judgement

I have seen Lilly Allen in interviews, she comes across as quite intellegent and switched on, she is not a of the ilk of Jade Goody or Charlotte Church (Now that was a rubbish program). So I will be reserving judgement until I have seen it. Yes, the concept sounds like it will probably be gahstly but there are alreay many many things that are far worse.

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Camelot pulls scratchcard amid numerical anarchy

Tim Lane

Don't be so negative

Right, I am pretty well educated and would not have made the mistake that Tina did. However, I never know whether I am turning my fridge up or down so I leave the contol somewhere in the middle.

PS I am pretty sure that sayiong Negative 1 instead of Minus 1 is an Americanism, I was taught to say minus 1 when we learned about negativew numbers at age 8.

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Flying cow destroys minivan

Tim Lane

Run Away!

Run Away!

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Public tracks down Gordon Bennett

Tim Lane
Boffin

Meccano

I seem to remember seeing the meccano explanation for Bog Standard and Dogs Bollocks on a program presented by James May about his favorite childhood toys.

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Beeb confirms Davison-Tennant Who hook-up

Tim Lane
Boffin

Two Doctors

Would love to see a two doctors episode with McGann and Tennant. Especially if it explained the Time War a bit, McGann is a great actor and certainly looked the part, it would be nice to see him in a decent production. Is there an icon for "I am a complete geek", oh yes, there it is.

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Chris Pine steps into Kirk's shoes

Tim Lane
Alien

You see what they've done

If this is successfull then we'll get another forty years out of the original enterprise crew!

Also, could everyone please note that Star Trek is science FICTION, they are not re-writing hiostory because it is not histore because it is not real, It's their show so they can decide what happened to the enterprise crew before the time of the original series.

PS I am a Trekkie, I will happily watch any episode opf any series and all the films are good, except 1, 5 & 7, but I still watch them when they are on and I will watch this, even though its going to be rubbish.

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