18 posts • joined Friday 19th October 2007 03:47 GMT
No wonder I laugh
Iã€™d like to thank all the slugtards who commented on my previous post.
Your static proves my point completely - that you are utterly unequipped to understand the benefits of a tool that doesnã€™t require endless maintenance.
The fact is, whenever someone is doing anything productive like in filmmaking or design for example, the computer used is sure to be a Mac. PCs are for boring things like sequencing genes or calculating pi to the zillionth decimal to get rounder fractals or something... or playing ridiculous games that make you believe youã€™re spacemen or soldiers or anything to to compensate for the fact that really youã€™re just pathetic little slugs.
Ha ha Pathetically Cretinous little slugs, Iã€™ll be swanning off now.
I am a Macbook Air
I just bought the latest Macbook Air (the SSD one not the cheaper one).
Cue derisive jeer from PC fanboys who assert I spent way too much for it.
The last Mac I bought was a 12 Powerbook G3 about 3 years ago second hand. The only thing I did to it was big up the HD. It was nearly the perfect computer in terms of reliability and productivity. I thrashed it near to death.
I laugh at the PC fanboys because I know most use their machines the way mechanics use cars – they grub about in their innards seeking to better their experience at the expense of their not so valuable time and maybe selling the knowledge gained thusly on to the PC sheeple.
Led by the fanboys, the poor PC sheeple attempt to drive the fucking things never realising what dismal clunkers they are entrusting their entire future to.
I, on the other hand, am the creative director of a branding and marketing communications agency and use my computer in a myriad of elegant ways to measurably alter the perceptions of the sheeple.
And that's why I laugh at the PC fanboys. They don't know what they diss. They are slugs criticising the performance of swans.
Vista is perfect
I for one raise a glass of (non-alcoholic) champagne in a toast to the greatest operating system the world has ever seen.
Happy birthday to you Vista!
You installed perfectly on my 800 MHz processor and 512 MB of system memory 20 GB hard drive with at least 15 GB of available space Super VGA graphics computer.
All my software runs perfectly. All my devices work perfectly. You're fast, you never crash, and best of all, your so cool.
You are so easy to use my grandmother installed her own life support system software and so secure my uncle in the Taliban uses you.
You're such great value I bought two of you in case my disk crashes or something.
Happy birthday Vista, may you never grow old.
Hey it's better than OS X
I remember using OS X.
I'd end up performing all sorts of tasks without ANY ERROR MESSAGES AT ALL.
As you can imagine this lead to chaos at the output stage when I couldn't figure out why the stupid shiny thing was refusing to print out something.
At least you know where you are with Vista.
I can't help wondering what exactly Google can bring to this party?
I envisage trying to call someone only to be asked "Do you feel lucky?" then get connected to a miserable failure or somesuch witty by ultimately unproductive nonsense.
No I think amanfromMars has got it right for once and the mobile Windows platform is looking more attractive than ever.
Google are quite good at highlighting holidays with "fun" graphics but I can't see them actually building workable hardware.
A firewall can only be relied on if there is a security infrastructure to support it.
Until OS X has been relentlessly tested by a credible volume and variety of threats, it can't really be considered safe in any shape or form.
Microsoft firewalls are inherently safer than Apple's simply because they are subject daily to a barrage of malicious digital intercontinental ballistic weapons, the vast majority of which bounce off an armour hide and fall spent onto the battlefield.
The OSX firewall on the other hand, spends all its time sunning itself on a beach in its undies smugly thinking how secure it is and "ooooh aren't I shiny and clever" all the while sucking on gay little cocktails topped by a little paper umbrella covered in flowers.
Wakey wakey! The tide seems to be going out unusually far today.
And rapidly growing on the horizon is a tsunami of epic proportions, a rolling, sweeping, thundering, killing wave of giant explosive worms, viruses, spyware, malware, adware, google, Trojan horses, rootkits, backdoors, botnets, loggers, dialers and more.
Mac users be warned.
Expect no salvation at the latte salon.
I can see what happened here
Nigerian customer purchases Linux.
Nigerian customer tries Linux.
Nigerian customer rejects Linux.
Nigerian customer has a quick look at OS X then realises everything sucks except for Windows.
Nigerian customer chooses Vista.
All is well with the world.
And the second letter of the alphaxet is quite unnecessary.
Well that explains it
When I was saddled with an OS X Powerbook I spent considerable time trying to get it to virtualise without success.
That woman's computer simply would not do what it was told even with a beating.
Then I switched to Vista which virtualised perfectly right out of the box.
I strongly suspect (but stress I have no proof of this, someone here may like to elaborate) that Apple is once again copying features from Vista.
Sadly, there's one Vista feature that Apple seems totally unable to copy.
I mean, who would want to soil their fingers on an ipod phone?
They don't interface properly with a real Windows computer because they are stuffed full of DRM that ties them to a single network. The only way you can get a signal is by paying Apple a huge non-refundable sum for a five year contract.
Give me a break.
And what makes this thing so cool? You can use your finger and thumb to send a message apparently.
Well you can see how I use my thumb to send a message.
And I'm sure you can imagine how I use my finger too.
What difference does it make?
Boot Cap, Boot Crap whatever... the point is that yet again Microsoft is able to provide an effective solution that addresses Apple's myriad failings.
Macs are all very well for adding that effete look in latte lounges but when you want the heavy lifting done then it's the boys from Redmond to the rescue.
Again and again.
As for Vista, one question for you... Have you actually tried it?
No I thought not.
I for one upgraded from OSX to Vista and the only regret I have is that I waited so long.
Try it and you'll soon change your itune.
Fortunately for Mac owners there is a very simple way around this vicious and devastating attack.
Simply install a program called Boot Cap.
Boot Cap is very clever because it literally Boots out the security plagued OSX operating system and places a Cap over it -- Windows!
From then on you can enjoy stable, secure, efficient, beautiful, innovative, cool, fast, compatible and cost effective Vista like the rest of the grown ups in the world of computing.
Once again my decision to abandon Mac in favour of Vista has been completely vindicated.
Clearly Apple is reduced to copying Microsoft.
Why they can't be original is beyond me.
Memo to Mac users: Get a Vista PC and experience a world where everything just works for a change.
Like I've been saying
Vista is the future here today.
But don't take my word for it.
Just look at the sales figures.
Apart from a few diehard Linosx fanboys and a rabble of attention whoring journalists everyone loves it.
It's either board the Vista express or join the retardo depress.
More FUD from the MS bashers
Looks like the Linux and Mac PR firms are busy today desperately spreading lies about the greatest computer company that ever existed.
I have had absolutely no problem at all with Vista.
Browse the web? No problem. Send email? No problem. Write a grammatically perfect note to the milkman in Microsoft Word 2007? No problem.
So there you go. THIS IS A NONE ISSUE.
Even the guy with 18,000 PCs had NO PROBLEM (except for his Macs of course but what else could you expect).
Oh if you want to steal someone's IP then I daresay you may experience a little difficulty.
But if you are honest like most of us you will have NO PROBLEM.
Microsoft bang on again
I quite agree with Mr Ballmer.
I rely on a Psion 5MX for computing on the move.
Because there is nothing as small, as usable and as productive. It even has an automatonic product manager.
Only a company with the strength of Microsoft could better it. Many have tried and failed.
Once Microsoft gets serious and makes a commitment to building hardware, it dominates the market in quality and innovation. Think Xbox. Think Zune. Think Microsoft Keyboards.
I'm willing to bet Microsoft's Mobile Platform will have a usable keyboard and a touchscreen and a handy little stick.
Go for it Mr Ballmer sir.
I for one will be lining up all night to buy the first available one.
Vista works great what are you talking about?
I recently replaced my Apple PowerBook G4 with a brand new Vista laptop and I have to say it's the best computer purchase I ever made.
That Apple was such a pain to use.
Now I can finally run the latest version of Microsoft Word. Apple hasn't upgraded Microsoft Word since 2003 so as you can imagine it's pretty slow and buggy. Also the integration with the osx dictionary never worked properly. Useless I say.
Thank god I'll never again be exposed to the brutal inadequacies of the slow, virus polluted, ugly, inelegant os x.
Good work with Vista, Bill Gates sir. My turban's off to you.
I'm now thinking of getting a massive new desktop PC from PC World or some other magazine so I can run the businesss version of Vista and the latest Microsoft Word too.