* Posts by Chris G

1366 posts • joined 18 Oct 2007

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Google pulls out of gaping Blogger smut black hole

Chris G
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Re: ?

" sexually explicit content to express their identities"

Unless it is something like necrophilia: Looks like I'll have to put off the Zombie Twins this weekend!

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I, ROBOT ~ YOU, MORON. How else will automated news work?

Chris G
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Humaniform uniform

I am pretty certain that much of the world is already being run by bosses who are humaniform robots, it's just a shame the programming is such crap.

They tend to spout the same old rubbish day in and day out as if they are stuck in a loop, still, I suppose that would work well for 99% of the news.

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Churchill's blood valued at £560,000. Take that Stalin!

Chris G
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Re: "El Reg wonders how much our current leaders' blood would be worth"

Our current leaders blood would not be worth very much,

all there is is a little dried up clot!!

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RIP Leonard Nimoy: He lived long and prospered

Chris G
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A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP

— Leonard Nimoy (@TheRealNimoy) February 23, 2015

Few people get to give pleasure and entertainment and to inspire memories and so much more in millions of people over several generations.

Thank you and Rest in Peace!

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El Reg regains atomic keyring capability

Chris G
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Re: Just be careful

After getting my back and kidneys squidged a bit in a car accident in the '80s, the hospital pumped radioactive iodine into a vein and took X rays of various bits. The pics were quite amazing, like a glow in the dark road map of the body.

I also did a bit of work at Windscale when it was still called that, so I don' need no steenkin' glow in the dark keyrings when I already glow myself.

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A truly SHOCKING tale of electrified PCs

Chris G
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Re: Bad earth.

The alternative is that in many places someone will have used the earth as a neutral, laying next to the pool on my mates lawn I had the sensation of a slight tingle after the trickle irrigation had been running. With everything off the earth spike was getting 90v when we tested it.

Half the kitchen was wired to an earth neutral.

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Chris G
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Re: Bad earth.

@skelband;

Exactly the situation we have in most of Spain where little or no distinction is made between earth and neutral, it is very common to lean against the sink unit in a Spanish kitchen and then rest your hand on the cooker but not for long as invariably you will get a substantial belt!

To date I have worked on half a dozen places where there was no earth spike/ spike corrode away/spike driven less than 6" into the ground.

Whenever I help friends to move into a new apartment I usually go around with a multi meter before getting involved with metal fittings or plumbing.

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HAWKING ALERT: Leave planet Earth, find a new home. Stupid humans

Chris G
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Re: He's feeling his mortality

I am sure he has been feeling his mortality for a while now. Hawking was diagnosed as having Lou Gherigs disease in 1963 when he was given two years to live by the doctors at that time.

By that reckoning he is 5 decades into overtime.

The more widely separated places humans exist the less chance there is of one or two causes wiping us out.

To be so short sighted as to think that living elsewhere in the solar system is difficult so we shouldn't do it is a fatalistic attitude that compares with someone in the Great Plague days sitting thinking 'Well most other people have got the plague I may as well go and get now and be done with it.'

Just because a Star drive seems impossible or unlikely is not a reason to disregard it, 3 or 4 hundred years ago no one thought it would be possible to fly around the world at several times the speed of sound, now we could, now we have been to the moon ( even if it was in Hollywood) and we are not the centre of the universe.

As Hawking said try looking at the stars and not at your feet.

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Apple design don Jony Ive: Build-your-own phone is BOLLOCKS

Chris G
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Re: Ive is a designer?

"Apple is the most valuable company in the world so surely it follows that this guy is the best designer in the world, no? Market has spoken and all that?"

Then it must be the marketing people that should get the pat o the back, let's face it a good salesman can sell shit to a sewerage farm.

Ive may have some talent but it's limited compared to the likes of someone like Sir Terence Conran, now he is what I call a designer not to mention restauranteur, architect, entrepreneur etc.

What Jony Ive has designed is undoubtedly elegant, i.e. is has few elements and a great deal of simplicity in it's design lucky for him, then you get to the techy's work!

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IT knowledge is as important as Maths, says UK.gov

Chris G
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35%

So we are looking at something like upwards of 7 millions jobs disappearing with automation, the newly digitally trained 7 million will be doing what with their skills? Automating more jobs?

Maybe the government should also be encouraging the growth of other industries as well so that even allowing for more and more jobs being automated there will be growing industries to provide work. Unless of course robots are going to do all the work and humans can sit back with a robobutler and oversee everything from their smart phone with their digital educations.

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UGH... opposable thumbs are so tiresome! Why not mount your iPhone on your face?

Chris G
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Re: Sure to be a hit

Compared to this Googlass was way cooler

and I didn't like that either!

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SCREW YOU, BRITS: We're going through with UK independence ANYWAY – Scotland

Chris G
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Hmm something fishy about Sturgeon

If you ask the average Spaniard here 'Where is Scotland?' He will reply ' Somewhere in England, the North isn't it?'

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PENGUINS are just TASTELESS, say boffins

Chris G
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Linux

Re: Not only are they tasteless...

I had always thought the taste of penguins was

chocolatey.

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Apple Watch 'didn't work on HAIRY FANBOIS, was stripped of sensor tech'

Chris G
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We are only thinking of your health

That is why we have taken all of the chairs out of the office and replaced them with treadmills.

Ohh the guy with the whip? He's only there to keep time by cracking it regularly!

After reading this article I threw away my chair, now I feel like a new man.

Admittedly one of eighty but...

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Fight back against illegal GCHQ spying with PAPERWORK!

Chris G
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Re: Given this quote

@ solidsquid AFAIK this is a standing agreement that goes back to pre 9/11 times.

What ever the out come of this action GCHQ won't really delete anything, they will just have to find other 'legally obtained data' to get you legally, if they have evidence indicating someone is of interest, whether they can use it legally or not they are not going to discard it, it will just help them to know what else they can do to get you.

Otherwise beware of men in trench coats pointing umbrellas at you.

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DARPA's 'Cortical Modem' will plug straight into your BRAIN

Chris G
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DARPA's Biological Technologies Office

I bet the group can all speak Klingon.

Assuming this gets developed to produce reasonable vision, a wifi or bluetooth link to the car might be useful for say reversing using the car's rear camera, my only worry would be when I'm driving in traffic and suddenly get a pop up telling me 'an important security update is available install now!' or it blue screens with a message ' please replace the batteries you have less than 2% remaining.

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Your hard drives were RIDDLED with NSA SPYWARE for YEARS

Chris G
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Ubiquitous Iniquity

Bearing in mind the actions of the US since 1945 and its increasing belief that it is the only nation that has a god given right to poke it's nose into and control any country it wishes, this should not come as too much of a surprise.

What anyone with an interest in keeping and maintaining their data secure should beware of is assuming that Linux or iOS is immune.

The article states that the NSA has been doing this since at least 2001 and maybe for 2 decades, in 2013 the estimated budget for the NSA alone was 10.8 billion, also according to documents leaked by Snowden the combined alphbet soup agencies budget reached a combined figure of 53.6 billion dollars.

Don't forget the NSA are not the only players and that all of the various intel agencies have their own teams of hackers, if common sense as evidenced on these forums tells people that Windows is the most compromised OS so they should use Linux or iOS etc then the alphbetties will know that just as well and will be sure to target any place that people think is secure. As mentioned good secure housekeeping and where necessary a genuine air gap and good encryption for anything that is valuable/sensitive.

In fairness the US and it's allies are not the only ones trying to steal all that is yours so trust no one and suspect everyone.

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UK.gov can't get farmers onto its Verify service – even to claim subsidies

Chris G
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Re: Wrong end of the stick for most replies here

I am inclined to agree with you AC, micro managing crop yields via GPS and Sat photos has been common since the '90s and I knew a couple of relatively small farmers who were writing their own management programmes for livestock at the same time. Farmers are probably the most multi skilled industry of all so tech savvy is unlikely to be the reason for non take up.

More likely is that they are savvy enough to recognise a waste of time when they see one, having had decades of experience with the EU and MinAg or whatever it's current incarnation is.

Possibly they also won't want the little photo card that will eventually go with the gov's ID verification scheme which of course won't be an ID card just membership of the online scheme.

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Boffins grasp Big Knob, get ready to go ALL THE WAY at the LHC proton-punisher

Chris G
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Crash!

A collision between two massive, high energy hard-ons within a hole in Switzerland could mean the end of the world as we know it.

However, experience reading articles about high energy physics since the sixties tells me that whenever anyone confidently predicts there are no more particles to be found they will promptly find one or two more, or at least indications of such.

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Jaguar F-Type: A beautiful British thoroughbred

Chris G
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Re: Fast cars?

The old E type was never much cop on the bendy bits but quite impressive on the straights or a motorway. The most impressive thing about them though when my brother used to turn up in his V12

was just how gooey it used to make all the girls! No need to impress them with driving it, ownership was all that was necessary.

As for this modern Indian made,riveted and glued ally F type..... I want one !

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Apple drives itself round bend: PITIES THE FOOL who inks deal with carmakers – source

Chris G
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iMiniVan

Great! a mini van for the price of a Bentley.

Although, since Appoo actually build things, unlike the Googoomobile the Appyvan could have some really neat stuff built into it with a user friendly Fisher Price UI and a GPS linked Siri.

I hope it has an accelerometer built into the screen so that if you roll it the view will remain correctly oriented to your position inside.

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Ex-NASA boffin dreams of PREDATOR-ish tech in humble microwaves

Chris G
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Not so bad

As an idea it has merit; how many times do you take an apparently piping hot dish out of the nuker only to find the food has cold spots in it.

Perhaps a stirrer would help as an addition to the thermal imager but I am not crazy about the bluetooth/Wifi/IoT part, if you can't can't be arsed to spend 3 or 4 minutes preparing your food you should stay with your mum.

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ATTENTION SETI scientists! It's TOO LATE: ALIENS will ATTACK in 2049

Chris G
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Googloid life form.

The most horrifying possibility is if the dominant life form derives it's life giving energy from advertising.

Based on our apparent preferences via Bebo we are going to be bombarded with interstellar dross for decades.

The alternative is if they have achieved space travel , they have buggered off rapidly in the opposite direction.

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NERDS KICK PUPPY 'bot in brutal attack

Chris G
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All those trees

And it didn't piss on a single one of them!

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Elon Musk: Hover rocket? Check. Hover ship? Check. Let's DO THIS

Chris G
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I wish them nothing but success

SpaceX not only think outside the box, they have actually gone outside the box and are doing stuff, don't admit defeat and don't wait too long before having another go.

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Calling a friend? Listen to an advert. You lucky, lucky thing

Chris G
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Next

The logical follow on to this will be to insert ads into SMSs and IMs and why not an ad with every email in the text pane so that your ad blocker can't erase it?

Does anyone know a good assassin ?

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Ex-squeeze me? Baking soda? Boffins claim it safely sucks CO2 out of the air

Chris G
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If you take baking soda and ,,,bake it, it gives off CO2 hence it's use as a raising agent, after it has released the CO2 whot is left in the cake is Sodium Carbonate, washing soda. Schoolboy chemistry!

I find it difficult to buy washing soda where I live so I do bake Bicarb in a baking tray to get washing soda so that I can clean my thermos flask of tea stains.

The article is reporting it backwards, one would use Na2CO3 to capture CO2 which will then become sodium bicarbonate.

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Smartphones don’t dumb you down, they DUMB you UP

Chris G
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I like maps (paper ones)

I had to do a bit of a runaround at the beginning of last year; get the ferry to Denia, drive to Alicante, Benidorm and then up to Valencia and finally to the centre of Madrid. I already had a reasonable idea of how the places were oriented relative to each other but my knowledge of driving in Madrid was limited, so I did what I have always done BGPS (Before GPS) I took a map where I can see the whole area I need to drive in in one go, traced the route, spent 5 minutes writing the junctions and turns to reinforce memory and then drove the journey.

No need to use the GPS on my phone once, even the couple of bits on local streets were not much of a problem. That made me happy as I just can't drive and look at a GPS as I need glasses to read but if I have reading glasses on I can't focus on the road, call me odd but looking at the road when driving seems to be marginally more important than looking at the weeny 5" display on my phone clipped to the dash. It did however dong at all the correct junctions(waypoints)

By the way Alistai .Did you know, nodding your head like that makes your nose look bigger.

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'If someone in Australia says lick my toad, it's not a euphemism'

Chris G
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Re: Marmite?

Actually Marmite can be prescribed medically for those in need of a salty boost to their diet.

As for not knowing what Marmite is almost made me down vote the poster regardless of the fact he is a johnny foreigner.

I would not contemplate cheese on toast without a layer of Marmitey goodness under the cheese.

It is also considered to be a superfood ( http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/9504293/Marmite-the-latest-superfood.html )

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Plane crash blamed on in-flight SELFIES

Chris G
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Re: Death by misadventure then.

So a truly 'Smart' phone in the (near) future will be one that flashes DARWIN on the screen before shutting down due to moronic use.

Of course nobody will buy it though.

Here on Ibiza which is rated as the Hedonism (read 'self centred twats') capital of Europe I would guess up to 50% of drivers are on their phone when I drive to work, driving home in the evening usually sees at least one moron driving at 30-40KPH on what passes for our motorway with a phone on their lap or the passenger seat and trying to tap out a message. They get very annoyed at the interruption when I overtake with the horn going.

Don't get me wrong, I don't cars if they kill themselves but draw the line at them putting myself and others at risk.

3 points on their licence and a 300€ fine is not enough to stop them but Darwin is.

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Chris G
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Re: And for non-aviators

No, they were Fairey Swordfish Torpedo biplanes, I am not even sure if Sopwith was still going by then.

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Forget robo-butlers – ROBO-MAIDS! New hotel staffed by slave-droids

Chris G
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Construction bots

Will they build them with a wolf whistle function, a swing belly and an obligatory builder's crack?

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Chris G
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Re: Consistency

Just be careful if there is a power surge, and watch out for a bald robot with a cowboy hat!

It will be a long time though before they can get a robot to duplicate a Blackpool B'n'B landlady, that would need a 'Les Dawson in drag with a bad attitude' program.

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Swap your keyless key for keyless key-less key. You'll need: a Tesla S and Apple Watch

Chris G
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Re: Crazy and worrying

Haku an up vote for that. I had an old series II in the 80s, after having some plonker run a knife through the tilt I got a van back from a scrapyard but the crappy old single edged keys were so useless I put bolts inside the back door and passenger door and a hasp and staple with a padlock on the drivers door to stop anyone stealing my tools.

On an old Landy it doesn't look the least bit out of place.

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Chris G
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"Whose Tesla does it open?"

Exactly what I was thinking:

"It also shows the vehicle's state of charge, if it is charging, as well as its temperature – AND WHERE THE CAR IS PARKED."

After an iThing owner has purloined it.

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ALIENS are surely AMONG US: Average star has TWO potentially Earth-like worlds

Chris G
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Mushroom

Where have all the aliens gone?

Galactacus ate them!

But the Orion Project is interesting, if the world could stop the bickering between nations it could be possible to build an Orion powered O'Neill cylinder 10 miles in diameter and 20 miles long; then we could aim it at Proxima Centauri and let the aliens there have all of our old politicians.

At a best time of 44 years to get there, they might all be dead but Ibet they would still be arguing.

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'Bend over, Facebook' says EU, snapping on its rubber gloves

Chris G
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Oi Farcebook!

We don't want you violating and abusing our citizen's privacy!

We are quite capable of doing that ourselves thank you.

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SWELLING moons of ice dwarf Pluto snapped by NASA spy-probe

Chris G
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When I were a lad

Reading the likes of Jet Ace Logan (RAF in Spaaaace!) and Dan Dare, we all thought by the 21st century we would be zipping around in Spaaaace and mining asteroids or living on Mars, which makes the achievements of teams like New Horizons all the more remarkable.

They don't have a handy two man rocket they can jump into and whizz off to Pluto they have to do a lot of HARD sums and basically use very complicated ballistics to get to where they are going, more amazing is the fact that after 3 billion miles and 9 years they are on time and on target.

Why aren't they running our governments?

Can't wait to see the pics later in the year.

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Zimmermann slams Cameron’s ‘absurd’ plans for crypto ban

Chris G
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Re: The Point

You beat me to it D.A.M. privacy is not necessarily the same as keeping secrets, although maintaining privacy of your financial details is a matter of keeping them secret.

Why should anyone other than some of the more moronic social networkers want to share every detail of their lives with all and sundry?

And why should it be of any interest to anyone else?

Particularly the government of a nation whose law states that you are innocent until proven guilty and that guilt should only need to be proven AFTER there is some evidence to indicate that you may be guilty of something.

As it is, things are heading in the direction of everyone having such a large body of data relating to their every detail that in the event of the government not liking them for any reason at all, they would have a greater chance of stitching little bits and pieces together in a way that could cast doubt on innocence even when there is no guilt.

Thatcher began eroding civil liberties by stomping on the unions and taking it further than necessary, Blair used terrorism to erode a lot more and now dim dave is just trying to do it because he can, Oh! or now him and Obarmy are going for the Ruskies perhaps it's back to us all being potential reds under the bed in the new cold war.

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Chris G
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@soldinio I can't imagine the plonker that downvoted you, so I gave you an upvote.

The problem with dave and co is a total lack of real knowledge, exacerbated by a total lack of imagination.

I can't stand the other lot but I do not think dave's crowd should get any more time to screw things any more than they already have.

I guess everyone is going to have to go back to using cash and doing business face to face, that should really get the economy on a sound footing and all this from a party that is traditionally known for understanding and supporting business.

Calling them wankers doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of their ineptitude.

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Breaking news: BBC FINALLY spots millions of mugshots on cop database

Chris G
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"That is why we are currently reviewing the framework"

Translates as" We will delay any changes as long as posssible in thr hope that everybody will forget about it".

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Your gran and her cronies are 'embracing online banking' – study

Chris G
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Bunch of bankers

I am in my 60s, do some business online but not banking, I wouldn't trust my bank to tie a shoelace securely, never mind look after my meagre assets. The first couple of years I had the account, they kept sending statements to my email no matter how much I tried to get them to stop, finally, like so many things in Spain I made personal social contact with a senior bank official and mentioned my problems and it stopped.Still don't trust them though.

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Charles Townes, inventor of the laser and friend to both science and religion, dies

Chris G
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Re: RIP sir.

I remember reading about his Nobel Prize in a copy of New Scientist in the school library, I also remember a statement that the laser was a solution to a question that hadn't been asked yet. Incredible how many things it has become a solution for, a fundamental part of everyday life.

I also liked ' went into semi retirement at 98'.

A great man!

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'LOOK into my EYES: You are feeling very worried about the climate ... SO worried'

Chris G
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Coo!

He's not a scientist, he's not a boffin and he's not a psychohistorian as much as he may want to be one or all of them.

Generally I disagree when I read statements and comments about 'scientists' at the government trough but this one is definitely trying to get his undeserved snout in the trough.

The prof's bullshit might be a factor in producing greenhouse gasses though.

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Let's be clear, everyone: DON'T BLOCK Wi-Fi, DUH – FCC official ruling

Chris G
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Two Devices

I already had a smart phone and bought a tablet, the tablet would have cost an extra €100+ to be 3G enabled and I would then need another sim which here in Spain means another contract to be ripped off with. Just using a hotspot is simple and doesn't seem to use much of my 3.5 Gb allowance on the phone contract, works for me. Plus I can take either the tablet or my laptop and be connected anywhere.

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Bill Gates – I WISH I was like Zuck and spoke Chinese. Yep, I drink poo

Chris G
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The Biggest Risk

Will be when some IT MegaCorp releases it's latest AI and forces it on the world only half developed, in need of twice daily software upgrades and infinitely hackable,,, and no respect for it's customers!

1st Super AI Law; An AI may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. An AI must obey the orders given it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law providing they have paid their licence fee.

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Brits need chutzpah to copy Israeli cyberspies' tech creche – ex-spooks

Chris G
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Re: The trouble is...

You beat me to the punch; in general once someone has been 'in' intelligence they are never really out.

Spooks have a tendency to stay spooky.

I had a mate who was a super trooper for a while, when he came out he got a job as a clerk in a nondescript HMG building in London.

As a clerk the range of 'company ' cars he used to drive was unusual to say the least, not to mention the traveling his clerical duties required.

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'One day, YOU won't be able to SENSE the INTERNET,' vows Schmidt

Chris G
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SHIoTE

The whole deal is a marketing flog fest for new shinies with the latest added value, added to the fact that the smallest facets of your life will become monetisable and surveillable , there is nothing that will escape connection.

Your shoes will tell how far you walk and how often or how fast, so that your life/health insurance will tell you ' You are a lard arse your health problems are self inflicted so we won't pay out'

I haven't figured out what your underwear may say about you but it will in all probability say something.

Outerwear will probably contribute to powering the rest of your kit so if you are not wearing generative clothing you will be considered anti social by contributing more CO2 into the environment.

Hats will become fashionable because they will have inbuilt EECG monitors that will enable your brainwaves to be analysed along with physiometrics captured by public and workplace cameras to determine your social/anti-social/terrorist potential.

Aside from that the ability to apparently decide in microscopic detail what your buying preferences are will result in the perfect advertising campaign aimed at you personally.

And that's without even getting to what your house/car/workplace will do.

What a marvelous future the young can look forward to.

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Dark Fibre: Reg man plunges into London's sewers to see how pipe is laid

Chris G
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Lucky

They weren't down there during the flush hour, the tide mark in one of the pics is about 5 feet up the wall.

Definitely a need for bigger wellies.

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A Bombe Called Christopher, or A Very Poor Imitation

Chris G
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Thanks for that, Verity.

Now I don't need to go and watch the film in Spanish, which will be even worse.

@ Chris Miller, everybody knows that John Wayne didn't win the war all by himself, Audie Murphy helped him, being the most decorated US soldier and a genuine hero.

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