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* Posts by Cosmo

145 posts • joined 18 Oct 2007

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BMW i8 plug-in hybrid: It's a supercar, Jim, but not as we know it

Cosmo

The advert

A great write-up and I love the car, but the advert for it that I saw on the telly was so mind-numbingly pretentiously wanky that I almost threw my remote at the screen!

"I am the impossible. I am the blank page" *vomit*

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Maplin Electronics sold for £85m to Rutland Partners

Cosmo

I knew that had got expensive... but not THAT expensive!

Out of the goodness of my heart, I donated my last VGA to VGA cable to a friend. When I needed one at very short notice, I made the 5 minute drive to Maplin to buy one. I wasn't assuming I could get Amazon or eBay prices, or anything, but I didn't think a VGA cable could be that expensive right?

Wrong! The cheapest one was a tenner! Ranging upto something stupid like 27 quid, It was cheaper to order one off Amazon with next day deliver. Ridiculous.

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Look, pal, it’s YOUR password so it’s YOUR fault that it's gone AWOL

Cosmo

Happened to me with Vodafone

A very similar thing happened to me with Vodafone. To be fair, their security system worked reasonably well. Two days after the HTC One M8 was released, I got a text message telling me that one was ordered and on its way soon. Great! Except that I hadn't ordered one.

So I log into my account to find out that someone has logged in, ordered a phone in my name, but changed my address to one in Purfleet in Essex. I fortunately got the order cancelled and got my account reset.

However, I then had the hassle of creating a new account, mating it to my phone and then found out that Vodafone had helpfully reset my content control settings, so I was blocked from putting on a cheeky bet on the Grand National. Grrr.

This happened just before the Heartbleed saga kicked off, but I think that it's more likely that a rogue employee fancied himself a shiny new phone and picked some details at random to "borrow"

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Moto E pops up with £89 price tag – alongside new LTE Moto G cuz

Cosmo

I ordered one...

...from Phones4U. I never thought I would utter those words!

I've been looking for a backup Android phone that I can use for my running and cycling without worrying too much about it getting drenched in sweat or accidentally covered in gloopy gels.

My only concern is the interaction between the SD card and the main memory. It has been poor in previous Android configurations and Operation Systems, so it will be interesting to see if a Moto E + SD Card + KitKat integration is any better

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BBC hacks – tweet the crap out of the news, cries tech-dazzled Trust

Cosmo

Disappointed by the BBC recently

I don't watch much of the BBC news on the telly, but I've been really disappointed and frustrated by the BBC website recently.

A poster above mentioned that it was reading more like a sensationalist magazine and I think that really is the case. It's starting to look more like a cross between Buzzfeed and the Daily Mail. As I look at the top ten stories now - here are some of them

* The man with 42 hours to get home

* The return of the dimpled pint glass

* We are all monkeys

* Has wealth made Qatar happy?

Just lots and lots of puff pieces really. Plus the BBC's inability to mention a news story without padding half of it with what someone or other said on Twitter is just frustrating.

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Reg tries out Google's Chromecast: Yep, we even tested smut sites

Cosmo

Ordered mine from the Google Play store

it has just arrived, so I'll attempt to put mine through its paces this weekend :)

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BuzzGasm: 9 Incredible Things You Never Knew About PLIERS!

Cosmo

Never 6ft away from pliers

You are never 6ft away from a set of pliers...

Unless you really need a set of pliers.

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Florida bloke cuffed for pit bull shag outrage

Cosmo
Linux

Those eyes! They will give me nightmares...

That is all.

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You’re NOT fired: The story of Amstrad’s amazing CPC 464

Cosmo

Great article

The CPC464 was the first computer that I ever owned. It's still in my parent's attic somewhere. The only thing I didn't like about it (not the fault of the computer obviously) was the fragile joysticks. I went through more joysticks that underwear in my time. Those micro-switches didn't switch for very long

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App to manage Android app permissions

Cosmo

I'm normally quite relaxed about updating apps...

...but when I saw that request that Facebook wanted to be able to read my SMS/MMS messages, I rapidly pulled the plug. I'm tempted to uninstall it completely and just use the browser on FireFox on my phone from now on.

I'm not installing this app though. It sounds like ransom ware to me

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Sega’s Out Run: Even better than the wheel thing

Cosmo

My favourite arcade game

Awww I have fond memories of OutRun.

I think I almost bankrupted my parents by shovelling coins into the arcade machine. It makes me chuckle now about the lack of health and safety. Neither you and you girlfriend wore seatbelts so if you smacked into a tree or a pillar you would end up flying out of the car and onto the road - with magically no injuries.

It was a big task for the 8-bit home computers to recreate and they did struggle. I had a CPC464 and you had to make do with the external audio track and loading each new level on tape which did frustrate somewhat.

I loved the intricacies of the sprites of the car. Even to this day I can remember the juggernauts and the yellow VW Beetles :)

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The latest stupid yoof craze: Taking selfies - while DRIVING

Cosmo

Seen it on Vine as well

I've seen a few videos on vine where people are driving down the road - clearly moving - and taking videos of themselves. To do it in the first place is dumb - To do it and have your face clearly visible doing something dumb and upload it to the interwebs? Words fail me...

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Google's Nexus 5: Best smartphone bang for your buck. There, we said it

Cosmo

I have a 6 month old Nexus 4...

...must resist. It sounds like a fantastic phone, but then again my Nexus 4 hasn't put a foot wrong yet, so I will be strong and keep it for the forseeable future - especially as I'm sure that it will get Kit Kat shortly

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Shopping list for Tesco: Eggs, milk, bread, tablets (the £60 7in Android kind)

Cosmo

How do you pronounce it?

Hoodle?

Huddle?

I guess they are mainly aiming at the Kindle Fire. But at that sort of price, it might be a handy tablet if you want to get something cheap and cheerful for the kids

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Michael Gove: C'mon kids, quit sexting – send love poems instead

Cosmo
Devil

Love Poem

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

<censored>

<censored>

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It's Grand Theft Auto 5 day: Any of you kids remember GTA the First?

Cosmo
Thumb Up

Fantastic memories

This game came out just as I was finishing my first year at Uni. In those days only the well off kiddies had PCs in their room, so there was literally only 1 on our floor in my halls of residence. Let's put it this way - he was a very popular guy!

The comical over the topness and cartoon brutality was brilliant. I think I enjoyed the sub games more often. I think my favourite one was the "Speed" clone where you had to keep a school bus above a certain speed before it blew you and everyone around it to smithereens.

I also liked the fact that you could pop out the CD when playing, and replace it with your own and you could listen to your own music when playing GTA - Nothing like escaping police to sound hard house or Drum'n'Bass!

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Nokia Lumia 925: The best Windows Phone yet

Cosmo
Mushroom

At sea, things move slowly...

...unless you're on one of Elop's burning platforms in the North Sea. In that case you have 30 seconds and things move very, very quickly

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Snappers binned, mobe-armed hacks drafted at Chicago paper

Cosmo
Coat

Topless darts was awesome!

Back in the day before pr0n was speedy and ubiquitous on the interwebs, the topless darts were a very enjoyable 5 minutes of an evening.

I'll get my coat... should be a yellow mac really.

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Orange customer clobbered with SIX-FIGURE phone bill

Cosmo
Devil

Re: There's only one way to measure data usage

Mop is good... but I quite like the sound of the Fap

So you could have nano, micro and milliFaps for knocking out a quick one

KiloFaps and MegaFaps for an extremely long sessions!

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Android is a mess and needs sprucing up, admits chief

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Touch screens and greasy mitts: All you need is glove

Cosmo
Go

InstaLube

Your fingers provide instant lubrication? A lot of women will be very interested to hear that...

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Android 'splits' into the Good and the lovechild of Bad and Ugly

Cosmo
Thumb Up

Re: +1

To counter this - I have a Huawei Ascend G300 and it's great!

I paid £100 and have an Android phone running Ice Cream Sarnie with an external SD card slot. Nope it's not fast with it's single core processor, so if you're a power user or want to play more high end games it's not for you. However, for what I want to use it for, I can't see anything else on the market for that price which matches it.

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Twitter row goes to court, beak says man must cough £17,500

Cosmo
Childcatcher

Toby Pedley''s Twitter

I searched through Google to try and look at some of the things Toby Pedley has posted in the past. It looks as if he has some sort of major issue with Carl Harris over a tipping service or something like that. He's going to have a lot of deleting to do

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Love in the time of the internet: A personal memoir

Cosmo
Meh

My experences

I have and am currently on two dating sites - PlentyOfFish which is free, and Match which is a pay site.

The numbers on POF are good, but the quality is very, very low:

* Fake profiles (easy to spot though)

* Unemployed single mums with multiple kids who live in a craphole of an area

* Cougars (Think Dorien from Birds of a Feather) looking for toyboys *shudder*

* Lots of lonely girls who just want to "chat" but have no intention of going on a physical date

Match is a little better but:

* Very expensive for what it is

* You have no idea if the girl you send a message to can actually read your message as she may not be a full member

* Some girls have a list of requirements longer than you arm

* If you live in a non-metropolis area, your options are restricted

Saying that, it sounds like I've had a bad time, but in the last year I've probably had about 12 dates, of which 10 were great and 2 were disasters (old pic and a cat lady). It really is a numbers game though. The only way that you'll get replies as a man is to send as many good quality messages as possible.

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Time to rid ourselves of the tech channel zombies

Cosmo
Pirate

Mix Tapes

I actually miss making mix-tapes. There was nothing like trying to woo a girl when you were young by spending all weekend making her a mix-tape of her favourite stuff and then lovingly writing all of the track information on the inlay card.

It actually worked as well!

Pirate icon as home taping obviously killed music

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Is social networking good for anything more than cat pics?

Cosmo

Re: Twitter can be pretty good

Specials, updated menus, guest beers, which bands are playing this evening, that sort of thing

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Cosmo
Pint

Twitter can be pretty good

I know I'm courting a possible nerd-pasting here, but I find Twitter pretty useful. I don't follow Z-List zelebs or teenage girls spewing their angst all over the interwebs, but it has been really useful for finding out what's happening locally with businesses, pubs, restaurants, events etc. etc.

A lot of small businesses don't seem to have websites nowadays. Or if they do, they can be woefully out of date, so Twitter can be good for receiving "hot off the press" information.

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Cosmo
Facepalm

It did crack me up

I did have a good chortle when I saw people on Facebook and Twitter bragging about being in the top 10% or top 5% of LinkedIn. And then watched their bragging turn to embarrassment when virtually everyone else posted to say they had received the same email

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Björk gives up trying to Kickstart Android music app

Cosmo
Go

£375,000?

Give me £65,000 and I'll do it

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Netbooks were a GOOD thing and we threw them under a bus

Cosmo
Thumb Up

Samsung N120 still going strong

Literally 2 days after I bought my house, my old laptop died. I needed something cheap and reliable to tide me over for a year or so until I got some funds back. I bought the Samsung N120 in September 2010 and it is still going strong as my primary computer.

I've filled up about half of the 320GB hard drive, the battery life is still "OK" (get around 3 hours), it's light, portable and great for doing little things such as touching up pictures, firing off a long e-mail etc. etc.

I have a Nexus 7 now which has taken over some tasks, but I will probably keep the Samsung going until I run it into the ground.

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Huddled immigrant masses face 'British values' quiz

Cosmo
Happy

1. Start mumbling to yourself and gently rock back and forth. The man that sat next to you will shortly leave. Rinse, wash and repeat for future occurrences.

2. Nothing. Until you get to your stop. Call them a bunch of twats just as you're getting up, and then run for your life.

3. Nothing. If the lift is going up, then stare at the ceiling lights. If the lift is going down then stare at the floor. If there's someone else in the lift, then thank them when getting off at your floor - even if they didn't do anything.

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Cosmo
Devil

Re: I fail.

Living in Portsmouth, I'm not surprised that so many people in Southampton can't speak English. Most of them were born in Southampton though.... :-P

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Have Brits fallen for Netflix, or do they still LoveFilm?

Cosmo
Meh

Fragmentation

I currently am signed up to LoveFilm, but mainly just use it for the DVDs by post service, which is pretty good for my use case.

I am concerned about the amount of fragmentation that is going on in the streaming market though. So it looks like to me you need LoveFilm for film content, NetFlix for TV content, SKY for the most up-to-date content (plus don't they have exclusivity for one of the movie houses?)

So if you wanted to get a broad brush of everything, it means managing lots of subscriptions, plus I feel that over time it'll get worse before it gets better. I feel that broadcast TV is starting to wobble now and is losing its dominance, but I'm worried about having to sign up for service A for TV series A, service B for TV series B, service C for Film C etc. etc.

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O2 refuses to deny plans to offload home broadband product

Cosmo
Meh

Re: Just left BE as they no public FTTC plans

I was the same as Pie. I was with Be for a couple of years and had no trouble at all with the service, billing, contract etc. Unfortunately I live too far from the exchange for a speedy download, so I was stuck at 3Mbps. If Be had announced a FTTC rollout, I would have jumped at the chance, but I had to reluctantly jump ship as trying to use services such as NetFlix and iPlayer was becoming way too stressful

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Toy train company bids for West Coast Mainline

Cosmo
Happy

A Top Letter

And an excellent reply

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No more fun and games for Zynga as Facebook cuts apron strings

Cosmo
Mushroom

Buh-Bye Zynga

It was not nice knowing you

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Ten weird Chinese mobile phones

Cosmo
Paris Hilton

Quad Sim relevance

It's easy to see where Quad Sim would be useful!

1 SIM for your wife, and one each for your 3 mistresses.

Paris, because she isn't wifey material

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Jimmy Savile ringtones still selling like hot cakes on iTunes

Cosmo
Devil

Wait. What?

People still buy ringtones? I haven't bought a ringtone since I bought The Flintstones for my Nokia 3410!

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EDF: We'll raise bills 11% - but only 2% is due to energy costs!

Cosmo
Devil

I think that's what McDonalds super size meals are for - The extra fat is good insulation

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Cosmo
Thumb Down

Price fixing cartel

The energy companies are all part of a price-fixing cartel. Nothing more, nothing less. They all raise their prices at around the same time (and almost always just as winter kicks in), but the sequence of which energy company blinks first is normally rotated to "balance" the playing field and to attempt to entice customers to jump ship.

If I turn my thermostat down one more degree, then I might as well remove my central heating system (I already have loft insulation, cavity wall insulation, energy efficient light bulbs etc. etc. )

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Samsung Galaxy Note 2 review

Cosmo
Devil

Re: Build quality

> >The steering wheel on my car will flex and feels plasticky and, thats the most crucial thing I'll hold in my had of a day

Are you sure? I'm sure there's something else that flexes slightly that you hold in your hand of a day. You have worries if it's plasticky though

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AntiSec leaks 'Feds' credit cards' after Barrett Brown cuffed

Cosmo
Meh

What a fruitcake

Seriously kids. Don't let drugs fuck up your life

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Reg hack uncovers perfect antidote to internet

Cosmo

Impressive!

But I bet you it rains every day for the next four months now

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Twitter to world: We have NO rivals, ha ha ha!

Cosmo

Don't forget all those people who have twitter accounts for each family pet and all those fake celebrity twitter accounts.

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Why I've got a sync'ing feeling about Amazon's new Kindle Fire

Cosmo
Meh

Sooooo

Man who works for cloud-based data analysing company says we should buy a device that uses the cloud extensively. News at 11.

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Samsung Galaxy Beam Android projector phone review

Cosmo
Happy

"Raises all manner of hand free possibilities..."

I did LOL

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BMW slams ad machine into reverse, screeches out of pirate den

Cosmo

Just the kind of people who buy Beemers....

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Boy cuffed after Twitter troll's drown threat to Olympic diver Tom Daley

Cosmo

Re: Arresting is over the top but...

> Seconded.

> Cosmo - glad I am not your mates.

The feeling's mutual if your skin is that thin. I'm not saying that it is "right" to spew forth bile and excrement. But if you're going to do it, do it in the privacy of your own home instead of on Twitter. Have you never had a rant at the telly over something a politician / z-list celebrity has said or done?

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Cosmo
FAIL

Arresting is over the top but...

...there are a lot of trolls out there (mainly young men it seems) who haven't quite grasped the concept of opening your (virtual) gob in a public place. It's all very well to spew forth bile and excrement when sitting in front of your TV and in front of your mates at your local, but if you go on Twitter and make stupid trollish comments and death threats then you're just a massive prick.

Saying that, I think arresting the teenager for this offence is too harsh. A name and shame and leave it like that will suffice. Good luck to Tom Daley for the individual diving event.

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Android 4.1 Jelly Bean review

Cosmo
FAIL

Re: Yes to this

You typed that using a swype keyboard didn't you?

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