* Posts by Red Bren

1327 posts • joined 17 Oct 2007

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Thirty Meter Telescope needs to revisit earthly fine print

Red Bren
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Pirate

Re: Won't be a "sacred site" in 2 million years or so anymore

"Does sacredness of a site diminish if you plant a telescope there"

I'll bet it diminishes if you bung a few dollars around because there's nothing more sacred than The Almighty $

Pirate icon because this is a shake down in mid ocean.

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That's cute, Germany – China shows the world how fusion is done

Red Bren
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Mushroom

Re: Not your enemy

@NotBob

Do you have a handy Maxim for the situation in Syria? Let's see now,

"My enemy's enemy is my enemy"

"My friend's friend is my enemy"

"My friend's enemy is my friend"

"Anyone wanting to buy my weapons and sell me cheap oil is my friend!"

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Red Bren
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Trollface

Re: RIBrsiq

We come here for the articles, but we stay for the pedantry!

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Did water rocket threaten Brum airport Airbus?

Red Bren
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Pint

Re: proper posh notw (was Strongbow?)

Brew XI? If you think that's proper beer you must have literally been drinking piss before. My local in Leeds had a beer festival and with Brew XI on hand pump. Having only ever seen it served by electric pump in Birmingham, I thought I'd give it one more chance. I shouldn't have bothered!

What I could never understand was having presumably tried and failed with 10 previous recipes, the brewers stopped at 11. Did they just give up?

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Universal Credit slammed by MPs: Late programme branded 'unacceptable'

Red Bren
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Sanctions

IDS should have his pay stopped every time it's late.

If you really want to get it done, use it to administrate MPs' wages, allowances and pensions.

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Windows 10 will now automatically download and install on PCs

Red Bren
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Gimp

"Win7/8/8.1 which MS are doing their level best to turn into a stinking pile of zombie-fied porn server"

So by sticking with Win 7, I'll get lots of free porn on my computer? Put the credit card away and put on the gimp mask...

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Most of the world still dependent on cash

Red Bren
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Windows

Hard currency. That will do nicely!

During the recent floods, some small businesses* in out-of-the-way* parts of Yorkshire were forced to rely on cash only, as the phone system drowned. They could have kept taking credit card transactions if only someone knew how to use the hand operated paper receipt machines...

* including Marks & Spencer

** Leeds city centre

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Blighty's Parliament prescribed tablets to cope with future votes

Red Bren
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What happened to austerity?

Exactly what problem does this solve? The unacceptable disturbance of MPs propping up a subsidised bar to do the job they're elected and paid to do? I'm sorry but in order to vote on an issue, you should be physically present at the debate. If that's too much of an imposition, you can explain to your constituents why you can't be bothered representing them.

What problems will this cause? Will MPs be able to vote in secret, rather than in full public view? The whips won't accept that as they would lose their power to bully and bribe MPs to toe the party line. More likely that the whips will know your MPs voting record but you won't be allowed due to "national security". You could have a situation where publicly rebellious MPs will be cajoled into voting the right way with the promise that "no one will ever know" or the threat that "it would be a shame if people discovered how you voted last time..."

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It's 2016 and idiots still use '123456' as their password

Red Bren
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Facepalm

Outsourcing helps... the hackers

What about companies that outsource various non-core activities to third party suppliers? They invariably cut costs by doing everything online over the public internet. There's no chance of single-sign-on or public/private keys for authentication, just plain username and password. As there's a different third party site for each outsourced function, people will just reuse the same username/password combination for them all.

It doesn't matter if your IT security policies are watertight if you effectively give your entire password file to some tin pot site management company because it's deemed too expensive to create a secured extranet connection to report blown lightbulb.

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Engineer's bosses gave him printout of his Yahoo IMs. Euro court says it's OK

Red Bren
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More facts required

Sacking someone for using corporate devices for personal use seems a little harsh, unless he had been repeatedly warned for previous policy breaches or was divulging sensitive information. Was this a convenient excuse to be rid of someone who's face "didn't fit"?

On the other hand, the fact that he took his former employer to court for breaching his right to privacy rather than unfair dismissal would suggest he was bang to rights...

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Who owns space? Looking at the US asteroid-mining act

Red Bren
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Re: Environmental Consequences

Oh yes, that reminds me, I can teach you an ancient* moon repelling chant that's been passed down from generation to generation** for a very reasonable fee. Thank you DropBear for the link to prove it works...

* from a few minutes ago

** well it will be when I teach it to my kids. It's not my fault my ancestors failed to pass on secrets of the universe...

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Red Bren
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Mushroom

Environmental Consequences

Has no one considered the obvious eventual* consequence of bringing 1000s of metric tonnes of space materials down to earth every year? The earth's mass will increase, boosting the gravitational forces until the moon is pulled down from the sky and we won't have rockets powerful enough to allow our escape!

* I'm not making the same mistake as those crazy end-of-the-world merchants by giving a date when this will happen. But when it does, don't say I didn't warn you...

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Telecity fails with car park net rescue plan. In fact, things got worse. Again

Red Bren
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They should be applauded

A comprehensive disaster recovery exercise that includes an actual disaster...

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Rap for wrap chaps in crap email trap: Chipotle HR used domain it had no control over

Red Bren
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intranet pr0n

A former employer once decided to make up a random domain (based on the company initials) to house part of its intranet. Not a problem if you were browsing on the corporate network as the DNS would resolve it. But I once clicked on a link in OWA and to describe what I found as NSFW would be an understatement! It took hours to discover all the filth on there...

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Most developers have never seen a successful project

Red Bren
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FAIL

Re: Success is whatever you define it to be

Luxury!!! I've had employers who would redefine success as delivering half the requirements in twice the time originally estimated after spending multiples of the original budget, because the business sponsor was far too senior to have a "failure" on his CV.

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US Congress grants leftpondians the right to own asteroid booty

Red Bren
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Alien

Re: Outraged?

"I was all prepared to come over all angry about this, but it seems quite reasonably worded to me."

Same here, all it seems to be saying is, "if you find it, mine it and bring it back, it's yours." which seems fair enough. However a couple of things still worry me.

Are we going to see the extraterrestrial equivalent of patent trolling where some paper-only shell company in Delaware claims the mineral rights on some obscure boulder and unleashes the legal hounds once someone else actually makes a return on some real investment?

How far will the U.S. government go to protect its citizens rights to exploit extraterrestrial resources? Who does the arbitration in disputes between U.S. and other nations' mining companies over mineral rights? Is it all going to go a bit Wild West?

In space no one can hear you scream for your lawyer...

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Here's the little-known legal loophole that permitted mass surveillance in the UK

Red Bren
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Re: The rule of Unintended Consequences - yet again

"The Civil Servants who draft legislation in the first place are primarily lawyers, and to be fair, they are far better than the rest of us at foreseeing a future that includes jobs-for-life for lawyers unpicking poorly drafted legislation."

FTFY

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller special: The WHO bacon sarnie of death

Red Bren
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Re: As to the danger of bacon

"Not exactly the terror of the worlds that some newspapers seem to think it is."

Doesn't that apply to everything that some newspapers think of as terrors of the world?

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UK ministers, not judges, to sign off on Brit spies' surveillance

Red Bren
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Big Brother

To whom is the Home Secretary answerable?

Certainly not the electorate, if the warrants are requested, authorised and executed in secret?

While we laugh at the "piggy fiddler" allegations, we forget the David Cameron was the protégé of Leon Brittan. It took Theresa May three attempts to appoint an independent chair to the child abuse inquiry that Brittan should have been questioned by. The security services already have leverage over this government because they know (maybe literally) where the bodies are buried. By removing all judicial oversight, they can keep a watchful eye on us all, and ensure they have plenty of embarrassing material on anyone else who might try and curb their powers in the future.

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That's gotta hurt: NASA suffers attack of the lame Orionids

Red Bren
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Calling their bluff

Whenever NASA announce a spectacular astronomical event, it invariably turns out to be a wash out, or the weather in blighty intervenes.

By setting expectations so low, it is bound to be fantastic!

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GCHQ can and will spy on politicos, rules tribunal

Red Bren
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Big Brother

How exactly can the security services continue their immoral/illegal snooping on the general populace while not snooping on MPs? A "do not snoop" blacklist of MPs email addresses? Excellent plan! If you want to secure your email, just CC a random MP and the securocrats will ignore it.

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Vodafone joins calls to pry Openreach from BT's hands

Red Bren
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Yet to be convinced

Ed Vaizey has yet to be convinced of the benefits of separating BT and Openreach. But he's fully convinced of the benefits of a BT executive directorship.

Where's the revolving door icon?

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Search engine can find the VPN that NUCLEAR PLANT boss DIDN'T KNOW was there - report

Red Bren
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Can't upvote this enough!

Car maker cheats to meet emmissions tests. Board never asks how they passed the tests as long as the cars sell.

Newspaper hacks voicemail to scoop exclusive celebrity gossip. Board never questions their sources as long as the papers sell.

Banks mis-sell PPI, sub-prime loans, etc and collapse the global economy. Board turned a blind eye as long until the whole scam collapsed.

Its time that executives were held criminally responsible for the wrong doing that happens on their watch. Pleading "I didn't know!" should result in jail-time for corporate negligence.

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Hutchison will float O2 … as soon as the Three merger is done

Red Bren
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MVNOs

"the number of mobile operators in the UK dropping from four to three"

In order to maintain competition and consumer choice, will OFGEM invite bids from MVNOs to become the 4th MNO?

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Red Bren
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This is the 32GB-cup version

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BAN the ROBOT WHORES, says robot whore expert: 'These AREN'T BARBIES'

Red Bren
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I've just trademarked the term

Hobots

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The future of IT is – to deliver automation. Discuss

Red Bren
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@Destroy All Monsters Re: Automation is the history of IT

> Shadow IT system

It's not the real thing

It keeps people in the dark

Horrible things lurk in there

It means exactly what I meant it to. Apologies if there's a similar technical term.

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Red Bren
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Unhappy

Re: Live by the mantra, "A stitch in time, saves nine."!

But we live in an era where "A stitch in time will impact this quarter's bottom line, and what happens next quarter isn't my problem!"

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Red Bren
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Mushroom

Automation is the history of IT

In a world run by accountants and lawyers, outsourcing is the future. All your company's existing processes get set in concrete. Enhancements require variations to the contract which cost more than the benefits. So the business ends up creating a shadow IT system using collections of excel spreadsheets that no one supports or understands because the people who wrote them have all left.

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HAM IN SPAAAAAACE! ISS astronaut contacted by Gloucestershire bloke in garden shed

Red Bren
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Boffin

Space Lettuce?

I'm not setting foot off this planet until the boffins invent Space Bacon!

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Buffoon in 999 call: 'Cat ate my bacon and I want to press charges'

Red Bren
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Trollface

@ launcap Re: Too polite

"Can't decide whether this is satire, trolling or dumbness.."

Maybe a bit of all three? I did google before posting and found opinion to be divided* on the subject. Some results suggested cats can eat pork while others claimed it would cause them problems such as irritable bowel syndrome. My favourite theory was that pork tastes too much like human flesh and the manufacturers don't want cats to get a taste for it...

* A bit like global warming. So I stuck to my original preconceptions...

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Red Bren
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Re: Too polite

They should have told him to report it to the RSPCA. Cats can't digest pork, which is why you never see pork flavoured cat food. So this is an animal welfare issue...

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UK.gov wants to stop teenagers looking at tits online. No, really

Red Bren
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Coat

Nob gags or political commentary?

Don't know if I should be worried that my nob joke has had more upvotes than my scathing political insights on the subject...

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Red Bren
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Coat

"It keeps popping up, and feels ickier and ickier each time, and more desperate"

But enough about your penis, what do you think of this policy?

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Red Bren
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Childcatcher

Safer places for children

Here are some other places that Cameron could make safer for children:

Roads

Theme Parks

Building Sites

The Houses of Parliament

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A third of workers admit they'd leak sensitive biz data for peanuts

Red Bren
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Re: A simple patch

Morals don't pay the mortgage and you can't eat Ethics. If some spiv can tempt your staff to jeopardise their employment, perhaps the spiv values your data and employees more than you?

My behaviour is modified by money; That's why I work.

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US State of Georgia sues 'terrorist' for publishing its own laws ... on the internet

Red Bren
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Re: A bit harsh on fools and dopes who do coke ........

Political commentary AMFM? Have you been upgrading your AI?

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Red Bren
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Black Helicopters

Annotations for terrorism laws

A terrorist is any person who causes embarrassment to the state

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SPLAT! STAR THWACKED, GUTS flung into space at 15 per cent of LIGHTSPEED

Red Bren
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Pint

Re: Disappointed

Thanks for the explanation. I knew I hadn't drunk enough for the comments to not make sense...

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Beaten blokes HATE the women who frag them in online games

Red Bren
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FAIL

in the dim distant past

When I used to play online ganes I would often use a female avatar as I found it easier to blag free stuff from male players. It went slightly wrong once when I tried flirting with another female player. "You're a bloke in RL, aren't you! Well so am I!" was the response.

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High Court smacks down 'emergency' UK spy bill as UNLAWFUL

Red Bren
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Unhappy

Re: I've always wondered about RIPA/DRIPA

"The official secrets act would be strong enough to tell the police to go pound sand..."

So the Official Secrets act means officials can have secrets, but DRIPA means that the public cannot.

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Red Bren
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Big Brother

Rinse and repeat

"Emergency" legislation to legitimise illegal state surveillance has been deemed illegal. So we can expect more "emergency" legislation just before the deadline to try and legitimise it again. Rinse and repeat, but in the meantime the state continues to spy on you.

The court should have demanded immediate compliance until proper legislation was in place, with Home Secretary Theresa May and Chief Constables facing jail time for contempt of court in the event of non-compliance.

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Google robo-car in rear-end smash – but cack-handed human blamed

Red Bren
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Terminator

As this is Google...

Are the Google cars recording every interaction they have with other vehicles? Every failure to indicate, every red light jumped, etc? How long before you can google the registration of the arsehole who cut you up this morning, find out where they tend to be a given time and go offer them some helpful driving advice? How long before Google cars will adapt their driving style based on the history they have collected for the registration plates of the surrounding vehicles? How long before they start taking revenge...

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The Great Barrier Relief – Inside London's heavy metal and concrete defence act

Red Bren
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Coat

Re: Manual operation?

"how many puny humans are needed to open or close each gate?"

Just the one, if it's Chuck Norris, but don't call him puny...

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On yer bike: Hammerhead satnav for cyclists – just don't look down

Red Bren
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Re: Rules are for you too.

In my neck of the woods you get 2 or 3 motorist jumping the red light with every change. That's pretty much 100% offending rate. I've even had impatient arseholes behind me sounding their horns when I've stopped at the red that they were planning to jump after me!

So, one anecdote all.

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Red Bren
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Thumb Down

Re: Rules are for you too.

Because no motorist has ever jumped a red light or pedestrian crossing. No pededtrian has ever stepped into the street without looking.

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Oxford Uni unearths 800-year-old document to seize domain names

Red Bren
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Paris Hilton

Re: I read it as oxfordcollegegirl.com

You might have discovered a brief but lucrative business opportunity, unless I register it first...

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Smart Meter biz case still there, insists tragically optimistic UK govt

Red Bren
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Pint

Re: @Red Bren Smart meters in "dumb"

Thanks for taking the time to compose such a detailed response. It seems BG have installed the L&G E110 which does indeed appear to be a "dumb" meter.

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Red Bren
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Terminator

@Ledswinger: Smart meters in "dumb"

British Gas recently replaced my mechanical meter with a digital one. I repeatedly refused to accept a smart meter so they fitted a "dumb" one; it even described it as such in the work sheet they left me. Is there any way of telling if I've been duped with a dormant smart meter that could get reanimated at a later date?

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Mars rover Opportunity shuns dodgy flash chips, relies on RAM

Red Bren
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Headmaster

Martian Winter

"The next few months should be good times for Opportunity, because Mars' winter has come to an end."

Alternatively, these could be very bad times if Mars has suffered the loss of an entire hemisphere!

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