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* Posts by Andrew Moore

1216 posts • joined 2 Mar 2007

Sons of Macintosh - shaking the Apple family tree

Andrew Moore
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Translation:

"What does "On the gridiron, that'd be Oklahoma Panhandle State versus the Crimson Tide." mean, please?"

"In a game of Girl Rugby, that'd be a Fourth Division team versus a Premier League team (named after a euphemism for menstruation)."

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Yes! It's the USB Toaster!

Andrew Moore
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So...

El Reg has become the Wayback Machine then...

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Aussie government muffs plans for internet filtering

Andrew Moore
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Ah censorship...

"an Insurance company was rather surprised to find that after implementation of its in-house filtering system, direct mail campaigns to Essex, Sussex and Middlesex ceased entirely – as did communication with the inhabitants of Scunthorpe."

and not to mention the poor inhabitants of Fuckwich and Anusbury.

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Social workers sacked over Gary Glitter email

Andrew Moore
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Jobs Horns

A bit convenient...

So your a company looking to downsize your workforce but you want to do it in a that does not require large redundancy payments?

Answer: Develop an extremely intolerant moral high ground and go through your employees email. Bound to find some sackable offences there...

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MPs declare their ignorance on the web

Andrew Moore
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Peter Hain's new nickname is...

Odo

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Beeb reprieves Xmas Top of the Pops

Andrew Moore
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Oh no...

Does this mean no Christmas TOTP2??? Where will I get my Greedies fix this year!!!!

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BNP leaked list claims first victims

Andrew Moore
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Recent entries in the Merseyside arrest register include...

'Loitering with intent to use a pedestrian crossing.'

'smelling of foreign food'

'Urinating in a public convenience'

'Coughing without due care and attention.'

'Looking at me in a funny way'

'Walking on the cracks in the pavement,'

'Walking in a loud shirt in a built-up area during the hours of darkness,'

'Walking around with an offensive wife.'

'Possession of curly black hair and thick lips."'

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PETA cooks up gory game in Cooking Mama protest

Andrew Moore
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Hmmmmmm...

I think someone needs to teach PETA how to exsanguinate their virtual turkeys...

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El Reg seeks top net neologism

Andrew Moore
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Twatdangle

Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

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Linux weaktops poised for death by smartphone

Andrew Moore
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Go on, tell us then...

"That's funny. I know of another device that can't support much beyond web browsing and checking e-mail, but is backed by the full faith and credit of Steve Jobs's divinity."

It's a MacBook, isn't it.

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India draws up own Google Earth plan

Andrew Moore
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Unhappy

"It is expected to be tied into an ongoing Indian project to develop its own GPS system."

It's a pity that IRNSS is not directly GNSS compatible

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BOFH: The paperless cafeteria

Andrew Moore
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Happy

"Sapphire's not an element!"

but then, neither is Steel...

ah nostalgia

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Attorneys for Palin email hacker: 'Don't call him hacker'

Andrew Moore
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Meanwhile, in HA...

"Hello, my name is Andrew and I'm a hacker..."

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Retro piracy - Should the Royal Navy kick arse?

Andrew Moore
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The solution...

Scupper every pirate vessel (there's a dhow (Davy) Jones sinking joke in there somewhere).

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Royal Society of Chemistry defines perfect Yorkshire pud

Andrew Moore
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I've never had any problems...

but then it takes a Lancastrian to do the job properly anyway.

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Love bug worm inspires Asian film

Andrew Moore
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I think I know how this one goes...

it turns out that the girl of his dreams is a ladyboy, who gives him a love virus of his very own.

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Boffins: global warming kills lemmings, not suicide

Andrew Moore
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Walt Disney strikes again

Anyone know what Disney's pollution index is?

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Barack Obama will be president

Andrew Moore
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Happy

not only a win for Obama...

but a landslide anniliation of McCain/Palin.

And to AC#1"It's called a democracy- if you don't like it, move to China"

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Undetectable data-stealing trojan nabs 500,000 virtual wallets

Andrew Moore
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Sheesh...

An undetectable master boot virus- pull the other one.

I smell bullshit.

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IT contractor broke law in data raid on playground firm

Andrew Moore
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Corporal Jones...

"Can you imagine Clive Dunn handing over his password to some thug under "threat of violence"? He'd have been shouting for Mr.Mainwaring and the rest of the Home Guard to come and sort these chaps right out."

No he wouldn't. He'd be sticking it up 'em- because "they don't like it up 'em"

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Skiving Aussie fingered on Facebook

Andrew Moore
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Interesting...

...the way the muppet turns into a total retard in the final message- "LMAO", "Epic Fail", "Facebook"

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1,400 Yahooligans perish as Yang raids needle cabinet

Andrew Moore
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Heart

But, but, but...

Isn't Web 2.0 all about monetizing eyeballs???

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One billion unwanted opinions in real-time: Now SHOUTED at you

Andrew Moore
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Unhappy

Isn't this already being done...

...with those stupid Talking Head videos on YouTube???

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Dutch court convicts teens for stealing pixels

Andrew Moore
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Can't happen now...

Jagex have nailed down interplayer equipment exchanges.

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Hands on with Sony's slimline Vaio TT

Andrew Moore
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Meh!

It's a Sony and it's a Vaio. I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole thanks to Sony's extremely crap after sales service.

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Putin's dog gets satnav tracker collar

Andrew Moore
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Why not GNSS???

I can understand the patrotic reasons behind using GLONASS in this situation but they could have just gone GNSS which would have included GPS and therefore a) Provided a better fix all times of the day and b) Provided a backup when one of the constellations gets switched off...

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Hubble in double trouble

Andrew Moore
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It could be Pauly Shore

Because ""If it rhymes, I can cause trouble in it"

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Airport baggage screener charged with stealing passengers' stuff

Andrew Moore
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@David Wiernicki

Yep- it's called GNSS. Russia has had the GLONASS system up nearly as long as the American GPS. China launched a minimum complement of BEIDOU in time for the Olympics- this system will be extended and will be known as COMPASS. India is quite far into the IRNSS project and even Europe has managed to get a couple of Galileo sats into orbit.

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Andrew Moore
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It's been going on for years...

I had a Psion Series 5a stolen from my luggage while travelling from Newark to Vancouver. I was told to put it into my hold luggage because it presented a danger to the flight (it had an InfraRed port which would allow me to take over the flying of the aircraft apparently). When trying to claim for the unit I was bounced between airports, baggage handling companies and various insurance agencies- I eventually gave up 6 months later.

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Windows Mobile on iPhone a cruel joke?

Andrew Moore
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Brilliant

"You don't have girlfriends in Norway"

"Yes of course. But they program too"

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Serial commentard bitchslaps Reg hack

Andrew Moore
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Errrrr....

>However, it *is* true that America came to her aid when it wasn't obliged to.

I think you find that rather than rendering aid voluntarily, America was cockpunched into WWII by the Japanese

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Indian Moon mission is go for 22 October

Andrew Moore
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Hmmmmmm...

'Of course, as the BBC notes, the project has taken flak for being "over ambitious" and a "waste of resources" for a nation where "millions still lack basic services".'

The same can be said for the USA...

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Big Blue shares cloudy thinking with developers+dog

Andrew Moore
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Won't be the first...

...and won't be the last the abuse the whole "stick the flavour of the day buzzword on our products"- I remember when Java was this way and then XML (I'm looking at you, Bentley Microstation)

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Harvey Keitel to experience Life on Mars

Andrew Moore
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Kick it to the gutter

I've already unenjoyed the pilot with Colm Meaney as Gene Hunt. God that sucked.

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Apple surrenders the Pink (to Microsoft)

Andrew Moore
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Remembering Rick...

"The software is just fantastic, that is really what I think.

Oh by the way, which one's Pink?"

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Andrew Moore
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Errrrrr.....

@David Kelly

"Stole from Xerox eh? Yeah sure, clearly Xerox had a long term OS business plan in mind, ROFL!

http://www.folklore.org/StoryView.py?story=On_Xerox,_Apple_and_Progress.txt

Educate yourself !"

You don't even have to read between the lines to see that the MAC fundmentals all hailed from PARC.

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Mapping the universe at 30 Terabytes a night

Andrew Moore
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No backlog...

when you take into account active compression.

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Emails show journalist rigged Wikipedia's naked shorts

Andrew Moore
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Question:

Isn't SlimVirgin an invert of FatSlag???

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Ballmer gives Norwegian students free love

Andrew Moore
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Gates Horns

Funny

I see the world "PEST" displayed rather prominently below Ballmer

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Tw*tdangler defends Benito Mussolini stunt

Andrew Moore
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Happy

Actually...

Twatdangler is not the best phrase I've heard all week. That accolade goes to the person who referred to the under-educated cannon fodder in the US Army as "hick bullet sponges".

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Andrew Moore
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Question

If it was a "death leap", why is he still alive?

In fact, just discard the first half of that question.

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UK WoW fans plead for Lich King Collector's Edition

Andrew Moore
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Reminds me of Bladerunner The Collectors Edition

aka "The Suitcase". I managed to buy from a company that shipped from the states.

Shouldn't have bothered. It was crap.

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How an Italian judge made the internet illegal

Andrew Moore
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Anything with a headline can be considered a newspaper???

Better watch the use of those <h1> tags then.

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Woman sues EA over 'secret' Spore DRM

Andrew Moore
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PDF???

Another vote for Foxit reader here too.

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Royal Navy won't fight pirates 'in case they claim asylum'

Andrew Moore
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The solution...

Just let it be known up and down the straits that all pirate vessels will be scuppered and that it's the responsibility of the crew to ensure they have enough life jackets available.

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El Reg dresses The IT Crowd

Andrew Moore
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Season 2 wasn't too bad...

It gave us Gay: The Gay Musical. Problem was I think the rest of the series was overshadowed by that one. Plus Denholms son is no replacement for Denholm.

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eBay: don't come on our US site without protection

Andrew Moore
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OH MY GOD. HAVE YOU HEARD??????

EBAY KILLS BABIES WITH A MINCER!!!!

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Nokia creates Indoor Positioning

Andrew Moore
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It wouldn't be difficult

You could ape exactly the way GNSS systems currently work. And without the need to derive out some of the non-dispersive errors it should be pretty accurate.

All the system would need to do is rewrite the almanacs to include stationary ground-based transmitters but I'm pretty sure that's already included in the protocol.

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Superfluid leak downs LHC for months

Andrew Moore
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Leaking helium...

Reminds me of:

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/astronauts_suffer_agonizing_high

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Danish court jails six in terror T-shirts case

Andrew Moore
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The Americans did it first...

...with Noraid supplying funds to Northern Irish paramilitaries. They had T-Shirts too.

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