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* Posts by Andrew Moore

1231 posts • joined 2 Mar 2007

BOFH: Is WHAT 'running slow'!? GOD

Andrew Moore

Another one...

Users who ask "Is the GPS system down" when they have an issue with their SatNav.

Yes user, a constellation of approximately 24 satellites, which US military and numerous civilian enterprises are nearly totally reliant on, has switched itself off.

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Bucket? Check. Toilet plunger? Check. El Reg's 50 years of Doctor Who

Andrew Moore

Only 11 actors?

I'm guessing that Peter Cushing is not counted as one of the actors who have played the Doctor

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Hard-as-woodpecker-lips MOUSE GOBBLES live scorpion, LAUGHS off stings to face

Andrew Moore

Re: How friggin awesome is evolution!

I know you are trolling but this probably supports evolution more- the mice that don't have the immunity die and therefore do not procreate, whereas the ones that do, get to pass on that trait to the next generation.

I will now prove that black is white and die on a zebra crossing.

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Swedish teen's sex video fine slashed: Unwilling co-star girlfriend furious

Andrew Moore

Re: Mixed signals regarding privacy

The Age of Consent is 15 in Sweden.

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Met Police vid: HIDE your mobes. Pavement BIKER cutpurses on the loose

Andrew Moore

Re: A bit on the late side for this aren't they?

I remember reports from Italy in the 70s about scooter passengers with walking canes hooking handbags.

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Andrew Moore

Re: Its time...

I was thinking taser rather than explosives...

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Netflix original TV shows gamble pays off... to the tune of 10m new viewers

Andrew Moore

Me and the missus really enjoy Vagina is the New Penis (aka Prisoner: Cell Block USA).

Hemlock Grove was shite though.

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Ryanair boss Mike O'Leary hits Twitter: 'Nice pic. Phwoaaarr!'

Andrew Moore

Re: "Look at me!!!!! I'm an attention whore!!!!"

Ryanair play an invaluable role in keeping the chavs and the scumbags off of the nice peoples airlines. Just remember that next time your flight is landing and there are no idiots applauding.

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Name-squatter fails to flog @roma Twitter handle to City of Rome

Andrew Moore

There's a maker of pasta that might be interested...

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Techies with Asperger's? Yes, we are a little different...

Andrew Moore

Don't forget us poor bastards with LLI

Low Latent Inhibition- the opposite of aspergers.

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Brit boson boffin Higgs bags Nobel with eponymous deiton

Andrew Moore

Let the hardons begin...

The great thing about this story will be the number of media sites that will misspell "Hadron"

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Investor lobs sueball at BlackBerry, says it 'misled' shareholders

Andrew Moore

yes but now the investors know what the rest of us have known for the last 4-5 years and they want their money back.

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Google's robot army learns Spanish

Andrew Moore

When I'm stuck for a spanish word, I usually take the English word and add an -o or -a (or -ado, -ando or -amente depending on context) to the end of it. Most of the time it works out

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Andrew Moore

Re: "ROMANES EUNT DOMUS"

si, yo comprendo

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London schoolboy cuffed for BIGGEST DDOS ATTACK IN HISTORY

Andrew Moore

A little late...

I think he was outed on The IT Crowd last night

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Firms fined $350,000 after yogurt sting uncovers review rigging

Andrew Moore

Re: Does anyone want to believe (online reviews)

There's a number of factors I take into account when reading an online review:

1. How many reviews has the author written?

2. What type of username does the author use.

3. Is the author American?

So if you have a low number or this is the only review; have a username of xxxdsfskfjdsh123; and/or are an entitled American who does not know how to behave in a civilised society, then I'm going to ignore the review.

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Great Britain rebuilt - in Minecraft: Intern reveals 22-BEEELLION block map

Andrew Moore

hmmmm, off to do the same thing the the OSi data set...

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Phil Collins' daughter 'will give you A VIRUS' – security bods

Andrew Moore

Re: Personally if i was spreading a virus

I heard that the sequels have been cancelled because the first film did so poorly...

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THE TRUTH about beaver arse milk in your cakes: There's nothing vanilla about vanilla

Andrew Moore

Re: But is it kosher ?

Honey doesn't come from a bees arse.

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iPhone 5S: Apple, you're BORING us to DEATH (And you too, Samsung)

Andrew Moore

Re: Should have called it iPhone5TDS

The Onion hit it on the head:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/apple-unveils-panicked-ideafree-man-at-launch-even,33814/

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Have you tried turning it off and on again - oh, you did: IT Crowd RETURNS

Andrew Moore

Friday night telly!!!

Same night that Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D debuts on C4 too...

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BBC releases MYSTERY RIDDLE poster for Doctor Who anniversary episode

Andrew Moore

Re: Old who

They are doing it stateside- one series per Doctor

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Andrew Moore

Re: The science behind Doctor Who?

As stupid as it was, I loved spitfires in space.

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Torvalds suggests poison and sabotage for ARM SoC designers

Andrew Moore

Re: Never realized the Reg was so butt hurt.

Also, if your company appoints an accountant to the board- run before you are nickle and dimed to death

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New iPhones: C certainly DOESN'T stand for 'Cheap'

Andrew Moore

Re: Affordability my arse

I was expecting "cheap looking" and I wasn't disappointed

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Microsoft - do you really think you can take on Google with Nokia?

Andrew Moore

Also in the news...

Hedge Funds who hoped to make a killing by short-selling Nokia have been heavily hit. Figures are indicating that they've probably lost in the region of $640m with Discovery Capital Management LLC being the biggest casualty.

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Behind the candelabra: Power cut sends Britain’s boxes back to the '70s

Andrew Moore

I want to know why these devices need to know the time in the first place??? Okay, I am aware that my oven can be set to come on at a particular time but I've never used that function and don't know anyone that does. My slow cooker has a better idea- you can tell it to come on x number of hours and minutes from now- no need for it to know the time AND be changed twice a year then the clocks go back/forwards.

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Hey, Bill Gates! We've found 14 IT HOTSHOTS to be the next Steve Ballmer

Andrew Moore
Mushroom

Re: Just for the hell of it...

Jony Ives!

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BALLMER TO RETIRE FROM MICROSOFT

Andrew Moore

Interesting...

...today being National Potato Day and all that. There has to be a connection

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Oz sawbones extract fork from old boy's todger: Gents, start your wincing

Andrew Moore

fork in hell...

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AREA 51 - THE TRUTH by the CIA: Official dossier blows lid off US secrets

Andrew Moore

Re: English Electric Lightning ????

I heard it was a Vulcan...

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Guinness: Have a quick bonk over the bar and receive FREE BEER

Andrew Moore

Re: Bugger Guinness

or even better- Oul Dubh

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Andrew Moore

Re: good things come to those who wait

@Loyal Commenter- yep, I live in Dublin- you might want to read my previous post regarding craft beer in Ireland.

But Guinness hasn't been an Irish company for many years (some would say that it was never an Irish company in the first place). And now they are owned by Diageo, they've no claim to Irishness.

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Andrew Moore
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Re: good things come to those who wait

Even here in Ireland (the home of Guinness*) there are much better stouts and porters. Try O'Hara's Leann Follain, Dungarvan's Blackrock stout, Trouble Brewing's Dark Arts, 8 Degrees Knockmealdown Porter. And Hooker Brewery are releasing their Napoleon Stout nationwide.

*Guinness marketing hype. Everyone in the industry knows that they are a UK company.

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Sammy had Sweet Fanny Adams to do with Swiss Fanny madam's blast

Andrew Moore

So...

instead of the nice payout she was expecting, she's now the poster child for "don't buy counterfeit goods". Along with the electric chinese gentleman.

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Burger-rage horse dumps on McDonald's: Rider saddled with fat fine

Andrew Moore

Re: Does anyone know

once, while stateside, a nice cop let me sit in the back of his black and white and order. For some unknown reason you can only order at drive-thru's after a certain time.

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Spotify: If musicians don't give us their stuff they get pirated more

Andrew Moore

An idea...

Why can't the bigger artists (read- those with control over their music) start their own service? Pay "fairer" rates to encourage others to sign up with them and generally take control of the whole situation. Instead of just whinging about something someone else did.

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Five bods wrongly cuffed thanks to bungled comms snooping in UK

Andrew Moore
Mushroom

Oh dear...

This will wind up the "if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear" brigade

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Ground control? My space helmet is FILLING WITH WATER!

Andrew Moore
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Re: Clearly a Radiohead fan

That'll teach him to try and trump Cmdr Hadfield's Space Oddity...

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Worldwide smartwatch shipments predicted to top 5 million next year

Andrew Moore

So....

I'm guessing they've finally heard the rumours about the iWatch and want to be seen as the "market influencers" and "market predictors". The problem with this is no one ever really calls them on it when they are wrong.

Maybe El Reg should add the disclaimer "and remember, these people also predicted the 5m rise of the smart watch" to any future PR from them.

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Gadgets are NOT the perfect gift for REAL men

Andrew Moore

The strange thing is a Dutch Oven and a slow cooker are essentially the same thing.

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Andrew Moore
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Bang on...

My wife needed a new printer. So I got her one for her birthday. Was not well received...

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El Reg encounters mObi: R2-D2 for retailers

Andrew Moore

Surely a decent POS system should alert when stock on shelf gets low- "60 boxes of cornflakes sold in last half hour- Send ZittoTron to check volume on shelf"

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Stock dips as fanbois complain of dodgy Wi-Fi on MacBook Air

Andrew Moore
Unhappy

So...

The MacBooks are now just as crap to connecting to wifi as their iDevice stable-mates...

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German Kim Jong-un lookalike spaffed official Nork pics over Instagram

Andrew Moore

Re: An explanation?

"I don't think Charlie Chaplin was a big fan of Adolf Hitler:"

Though the reverse was true.

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Snowden: 'Hey, Assange, any more room on Ecuador's sofa?'

Andrew Moore
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Tip to future whistleblowers...

Go to Ecuador first, THEN blow the whistle.

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Girls, beer and C++: How to choose the right Comp-Sci degree for you

Andrew Moore

Re: Tedium.

Same thing happened to me. I signed up for a course looking forward to lots of programming only to find I was also required to do Business Studies (yawn) and ancient database techniques. And correcting the guy who was teaching us DBase.

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Andrew Moore

Re: I'm sure there were two girls on my degree course

There was one on mine. She was a muslim girl and she got pulled from the course when her parents "found out" that she had been talking to non-muslim boys.

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KEEP CALM and Carry On: PRISM itself is not a big deal

Andrew Moore

Re: The scary thing...

Is anyone really surprised? There was a reason why there's an ex-CIA and an ex-DARPA on the board of Facebook.

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Reg readers tumesce as they get their tongues round 'podule'

Andrew Moore

I first heard it...

...in the little remembered film The Morons From Outer Space

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