The Onion are in fine form again:
1270 posts • joined 2 Mar 2007
Surely gulls aren't the only creature that can access those pools- How soon before we see swarms of radioactive midges?
How many bloody platforms does Nokia need?
he's going to turn up in the shower at the end of the series isn't he.
...that no one's pointed out that it appears to be running Windows XP.
Apple are looking to increase the size. The next gen will be called the Max-iPad.
Sun to me will always be the company that sold me a £5 serial cable for £80.
From "now ye're talking" to "now ye're hacked"
or isn't Pandora already a mildly popular name anyway. I do seem to remember one in the Adrian Mole diaries.
The Borg??? Not in James T's time- His foe du jour was always the Klingons.
And I predict that in the near future Mr Zuckerberg and Facebook will be as relevant as Geocites, AngelFire, Tripod, Friendster and every other "flavour of the moment".
Satire is at it's most brilliant when it cannot be distinguished from reality:
Okay the plot is very Dances with Wolves meets Ferngully. However the plot takes a back seat- It's just a device to hang some of the most immersive, spectacular and realistic visuals ever seen. This is a film that has to be experienced on a massive screen (pref. IMAX) in 3D. I liked one comment I saw online- "This film is for all those people who have ever bought a graphic card to replace the one their computer came with".
In Ireland Vodafone are already offering it to entice defectors back from O2- Available now.
You've got the sponsor and the logo. Now where's the merchandising???
...by the cheaper and better looking Chumby One.
I'm seeing this everywhere- I presume it does not stand for "Big Fat Fuck" anymore.
All round. I've been on Patrick Byrne's side since El Reg managed to teach me how naked short selling works. The plus side is that now I know what's happening at the end of Trading Places.
It's a eKing mini tablet:
don't give your child a mobile phone in the first place. 2 children in my 8 year old daughters class have already got mobile phones- so the rest of the kids are putting their parents under pressure to get them one too- The way we parents have reacted is to put pressure on the parents of the 2 phone owning children to remove the mobiles from them and to agree a minimal age whereby it should be allowable for a child to have one.
It appears to me that there wasn't any active comms to that server (or electricity for that matter) so I'm wondering how it was being backed up???
Does this model still have Face Dectection/Red Eye removal???
can someone send me Mr Slavins email address??? I have a large amount of money in a Lagos bank that I think he might be able to help me with.
we have an explanation for Mac users.
"With his SPACE machine, Underwood remembers, you could calculate the powers of 2 with a mere nine instructions. "Today, you'd need tens of thousands," he says. "That's terrible.""
What- has someone removed Left Shift instruction from modern processors?
"Why does Edward Woodward have so many D's in his name?"
"Because otherwise he would be known as E-War Woo-War"
What are the red rectangles tracking in the CCTV footage???
"Must be an election soon"
Bravo sir, bravo.
...so was it a Violet Carson?
Isn't a "intellectual iPhone owner" a oxymoron? Certainly any I've met have failed to impress me with their intellect.
An article about fruitbat fellatio and yet nothing about Stephen Fry leaving Twitter (I'm sure there's a connection between the two somehow)
And to add insult to injury suggested it was my fault because I had removed a USB device (I hadn't).
As long as there isn't a law banning us from chucking harpoons at them...
Shouldn't the tag line read "The Simpsons, The Simpsons, The Simpsons, The Simpsons, Futurama, The Simpsons, The Simpsons..."
...at least the bear had the good sense to render the iPhone useless (well more useless than it already was).
It's not like they are relevant anymore- They are soon to go the way of Tripod, Angelfire, Geocites et al (and Facebook & Twitter to follow soon after)
...Carl4 is just jealous- he thought he was the only transvestite in the village.
How do they award the £1000 when the max score anyone can have per month is 3???
...if we can get Sir Paul and Ringo to give Woolworths the thumbs up.
...is being too kind.
if Harriets just a bit touchy because she received such a low rating on PunterNet?
A prime case of "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
I would have added Girl in the Fireplace, The Green Death, Terror at Fang Rock, Seeds of Doom and The Sea Devils.
Knights of Cydonia for the next Bond theme.
...to talk about the nice "racing stripe" I left on a Renault Migane this morning when the stupid cow driving it decided to pull into the cycle lane without checking to see I was in it. Fortunately I was able to evasive action to save my life but not before my brake lever met her paint work. So what does she do- Drives off as fast as possible- running a nice gouge along the full length of her car.
Made my day that did.
First comes the apology; then comes the posthumous knighthood.
...that Stephen Fry is narrating the series- It's called "First Chance to See"
They are going to release a product with a name that sounds like 'anal'???
First thing I thought when I saw this story last week was "So, who is she going to sue for this?"
"Microsoft says US is top malware target thanks to Microsoft"