* Posts by Darryl

1314 posts • joined 12 Oct 2007

Page:

Multiple fondling on the MIGHTY 12-INCH iOS 9 SLAB — so, so close now

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: @Emmanuel: They are getting bigger......

"most of the walls in our house have rounded edges..."

Expect a visit from Apple's lawyers

1
0

Apple announces 'Home' iOS 9 app to run the Internet of Stuff

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: oh £100 light bulbs with that special glow

£100 for the 40 watt (equivalent) version

add £100 if you want 60 watts, and another £100 for the 100 watt

5
0

Apple Watch fanbois suffer PAINFUL RASH after sweaty wristjob action

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: How to wear a watch

Shoulda bought the iBelt

6
1

Apple Watch WRISTJOB SHORTAGE: It's down to BAD VIBES

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Obsolete? Upgrade?

"If the watch can still perform the functions that it had when you purchased it, then it is not obsolete."

By this logic, you'd think you'd see a lot more iPhone 1's out there in the wild...

2
0

Apple to devs: Watch out, don't make the Watch into a, well, a watch

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Time up

BUYING???!!

Whoa, whoa, whoa there, killer...

Who said you were buying anything? I'm sure buried somewhere in the TOS is a reminder that all you're doing is leasing the ability to be hip and fashionable at the coffee shop.

1
0
Darryl
Silver badge

There's your difference. Rolex makes nice looking watches. Apple makes chunky square blocks with screens on the front.

13
1

The Apple Watch: THROBBING STRAP-ON with a knurled knob

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: The box epitomises why I don't Apple

Look at me!! Sitting on the floor beside the electrical outlet at the airport, charging my watch as well as my phone!!

3
0

Stuff your RFID card, just let me through the damn door!

Darryl
Silver badge

I keep my access card in my wallet - I hate wearing the little yo-yo-on-the-belt holders, and lanyards make me feel like I should be backstage at a rock concert, not entering the office from the west stairwell. Problem is, our RFID readers also seem to read NFC credit cards, so when you wave your wallet at the reader, it's a crapshoot which card the reader is going to pick up first. Didn't take more than a few faceplants into a door that's still locked because my Visa won't open it before I finally learned to slow down and make sure I hear the little click of freedom.

7
0

SUPERVOLCANIC MAGMA reservoir BUBBLING under Yellowstone Park

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: But how many Titanics would it fill?

Pardon me, Official Reg units only please.

How many Olympic Swimming Pools?

4
0

Japan showcases really, really fast … whoa, WTF was that?!

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: De-acceleration

...or a large anchor tossed out the back door.

3
0

Apple Watch shipments: Pick a number, double it. Hey, it worked for them

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Troll....

Shhh... don't contradict. What you're seeing here is the beginning of the RDF in action. Soon, Apple will have invented the wristwatch and everybody will have copied them.

2
1

BOFH: Never mind that old brick, look at this ink-stained BEAUTY

Darryl
Silver badge

"stuff you leave outside an Oxfam shop before running like hell"

Sitting in a pizza shop and people are starting at me wondering if I'm insane because of the laughing.

0
0

Solar-powered bra maker suffers 20,000 TITSUPs all at once

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Triumph...

Passionate about ladies in their underwear

3
0
Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Seriously, this story was the best gift ever to the editorial team...

Betcha not so firm after they're taken of...

0
0

US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: ACME MIRRORS INC

Possibly, but unlikely. From the video, it looks like the first indication that you're being 'lasered' at is that things start glowing red and exploding.

3
0

One year on, Windows 8.1 hits milestone, nudges past XP

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: The answer is still no.

Windows 2000 is just a name, not a version number. It was actually NT 5.0, so you don't have to worry.

3
0

Social media data is RIDDLED with human behaviour errors, boffins warn

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: For completely accurate social media studies, use 4Chan.

4Chan? Isn't that the guy who hacked into Apple and leaked those nudie pics of that girl from the Hunger Games?

2
1

Dead Steve Jobs to give iPod MP3 evidence from beyond the grave

Darryl
Silver badge

Gee. $350 million? Apple execs might have to dig through the cushions of more than one couch to come up with that kind of money.

3
0

Go festive this year with Christmas carols, baby Jesus and CLITORAL STIMULATORS

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Apart from that, he doesn’t do impressions.

No, just as a proper Englishman, he doesn't pronounce the W in a word that ends in W, replacing it with an R instead.

0
0

Oh BOY! The MICKEY MOUSE Apple Watch is no heart-throb

Darryl
Silver badge

And seriously? The 'watch edition' watch? What are the other ones? Socks and blenders?

8
0

I need a password to BRAKE? What? No! STOP! Aaaargh!

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: What is the difference...

Over here that joke is about corvettes and cacti

0
0
Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Sorry

You're lucky. We have the dreaded 'Redneck in a Pickup Truck' to deal with as well as BMW and Audi drivers.

Known as the 'Rig Rocket' as they can only be afforded by oilfield workers, they're jacked up high, fitted with loud exhausts and 24" wheels, and the drivers are almost 100% dicks.

8
0

iPhone sales set to PLUMMET: Bleak times ahead for Apple

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Why Are Apple DOOM Analysts Worth Quoting?

The other prediction that the 6+ will be a 'failure' compared to the 6 isn't news either. Samsung sells more Galaxy S's than they do Notes, but they still sell enough Notes to make them a worthwhile product, which is pretty much what I'll bet Apple is finding with the 6+

8
0

Renewable energy 'simply WON'T WORK': Top Google engineers

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: three "disasters" so far - Three Mile Island, Chernobyl and Fukushima

"So if - during bad weather - a tree falls on a train and kills 50 people, it's a natural disaster, not a train wreck?"

No, more like if a hurricane blows in and takes a train out, killing 50 people, which, incidentally, is 50 more people than were killed by the Fukushima plant getting hit by a record tsunami.

Better ban trains.

4
0

Fake antivirus scams: It's a $120m business – and alleged ringleaders have just been frozen

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: So the companies might stop trading

Bastages. Cork soakers. Always bullshteining you.

1
0
Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Now let's clean up download sites.

Sadly it's not just software sites like CNet... I know a lot of people who've made the mistake of Googling 'Java' or similar and clicking the first item on the list - which just happened to be one of the few advertised at the top of the search results. By the time I got involved in one case, they'd filled out the forms with all of their personal info and were wondering if they should buy the 'full support' package, whatever that was.

0
0

Samsung Galaxy Note 4: Spawn of Galaxy Alpha and a Note 3 unveiled

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: upcoming Blackberry classic

I have two users here - one with a Q10 and one with a Q5 and both had the same reaction when they got them (both upgraded from Curves). Within a week, though, they were going crazy with swiping and tapping, and both commented that the new interface is much faster to navigate and work with.

0
0
Darryl
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

You'd prefer only reviews of phones with worse screens and chipsets?

7
0

Bang! You're dead. Who gets your email, iTunes and Facebook?

Darryl
Silver badge

"Most tech firms running online services have remarkably little time for the dying or deceased."

Of course not. You've ceased to become a revenue stream for them. You're not going to be buying any more songs from iTunes and you're not going to be looking at any more ads on Facebook.

7
0

'Most advanced mobile botnet EVER' is coming for your OFFICE Androids

Darryl
Silver badge

Gee, I wonder what Lookout is trying to sell

0
0

You know where Apple Pay is getting used a LOT? Yes - McDonalds

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: So....

Supersize your memory from 16GB to 32GB

1
2

Virgin Media CUTS OFF weekend 'net surfers after embarrassing smut-filtering snafu

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: "Essential Maintenance"

When something goes titsup, what you're doing to try and get it working again isn't called 'maintenance', it's called 'repairs'.

0
0

Eye laser surgery campaigner burned by Facebook takedown

Darryl
Silver badge

Unanswered question

Does Optical Express advertise on Facebook? If so, there's no way she's ever going to have her page restored.

2
0

Got a spare $600k? Then an ancient Apple-1 could be yours

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: What is it with Apple I auctions?

Maybe it's to avoid beheading?

“Don’t pick it up, pick it up, pick it up – quick, pass it on, pass it on…”

2
0

UN: Fossil fuels should be TERMINATED 86 years from now

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: I hate to sound like a broken record...

I also liked the part about how much concrete is used building a nuke power station. Wonder how it compares to building something like the Hoover Dam....

2
0

Even a broken watch is right twice a day: Not an un-charged Apple Watch

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Long-term battery life

Ah, but it's an iProduct. You're expected to buy the Apple Watch 1S next year, so you won't care about the old one's battery life.

3
1

SKYPE has the HOTS for my NAKED WIFE

Darryl
Silver badge

I've found the one time a YouTube video helps

Fuel pump died in my car last week. Instead of reading the Haynes manual (Secure the vehicle on stands, disconnect the negative battery cable, etc. etc. etc.) I watched a 5 minute YouTube video. The guy took the camera under the car with him, pointed out what to disconnect and how to do it, and how to get the tank out and back in. Everything looked familiar when I slid under my car, and went very smoothly.

0
0

GET A ROOM, yells Facebook as it stumbles on IRC, slaps it in an app

Darryl
Silver badge
FAIL

"Early users have already created rooms for everything from beat boxing videos to parkour to photos of home-cooked meals."

Wow. That REALLY makes me want to reactivate my FB account.

</sarcasm>

0
0

Happy 2nd birthday, Windows 8 and Surface: Anatomy of a disaster

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Our users just want to get their work done

...and yet sales are fine. As for users, my users did grumble and complain when they got their first ribbon-ized Office, but they adjusted. Their proficiency may have lowered while they relearned it, but occasional users learned how to use the ribbon and power users didn't even notice it was there because the keyboard shortcuts still work.

That's one of the reasons Win8 is really bad. I think people can deal with a bit of a jarring UI change, as long as it still does what you expect it to do when you hit Ctrl-F, for example.

0
8

MARS NEEDS WOMEN, claims NASA pseudo 'naut: They eat less

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Testosterone may not help the trip

Besides, if they're all women, there will be a huge reduction in the chance of them getting lost on the way to Mars, as they will have no aversion to stopping and asking for directions.

3
1

Yes, yes, Steve Jobs. Look what I'VE done for you lately – Tim Cook

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: That should probably be "führer"

'gay Nazi'? It's German for 'Leader' or 'Guide'

5
0

Want a more fuel efficient car? Then redesign it – here's how

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Hypermiling

"Perhaps I just hate everyone.."

"Nothing wrong with that."

Exactly. It's also the only sure way to avoid being a racist.

2
1

Bono apologises for iTunes album dump

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Vote

Jack White and Dave Grohl have to make the list.

0
3

It's a TAB-tastrophe – 83 million fewer units to ship in 2014

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: People are keeping them for three years?

Well, everyone did say that tablets will take over from PCs and laptops. Looks like they've taken on the refresh cycle already. As with PCs and laptops, "It's a half mm thinner" is not a good enough reason to buy the new model.

3
0

Sway: Microsoft's new Office app doesn't have an Undo function

Darryl
Silver badge

Re: I think they got the name wrong...

"lack of control over formatting"

Isn't that Word's job?

3
1

Brace yourself for a 12-inch Apple maxiPAD – probably... maybe... ish

Darryl
Silver badge

Can you imagine how even more ridiculous people will look running around taking photos with a 12.9" iPad?

0
0

PEAK APPLE: iOS 8 SHUNNED by refusenik fanbois

Darryl
Silver badge

@AC just above this Re: 6 GB free

Buzzword told you not to tell them that.

Sheesh

2
0

What’s the KEYBOARD SHORTCUT for Delete?! Look in a contextual menu, fool!

Darryl
Silver badge

GUI - You type 'abc' in the search box at the top right of the window.

2
1
Darryl
Silver badge

Re: Devolution?

"Doesn't matter how ridiculous your procedures are, as long as they're followed to the letter you're OK"

Congratulations. You've just summarized ISO 900x

2
0

Page:

Forums