* Posts by Scott

161 posts • joined 12 Oct 2007

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Scott

Title

I ama not a number!

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Data-sniffing trojans burrow into Eastern European ATMs

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Great

I'm going on s tag do to Eastern Europe this weekend and was going to get some cash out if i needed it throught the ATM's, think i'll just pay for the strippers on my credit card now.

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Phorm woos browsers with personalised web

Scott
Pirate

Lazy, Lazy, Man

I'm a Lazy, Lazy, Man. does anyone have a link to El Reg's Privacy Pirate T-shirt (If they've got one, if not why not?).....Yaar!!!

Oh and 7 years without revenue, anyone looked to see if a member of parliment say the departing Jacki has put this on her expenses as say essential security monitoring software used in her day-to-day job? because someones got to be bank-rolling 'em and Jackys department would be a leading contender i reckon.

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Blears is latest to scurry away from Brown's Cabinet

Scott
Happy

LOL

Now i know what that stupind acronium was made up for, articles like this....LOL.

Sad Scak, you sir deserve a beer.

I'll be PM, scrap all these stupid Gov.UK projects and spend it on health, education and housing, oh wait thats what they surpose to spend it on, stupid me.

If the on line forums don't work maybe we could vote for our next PM, well its a thought anyway.

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Google slips Reg reader £500k!!!!!

Scott

Lucky

Can you add me to the winners list as i seem to have recieved the same e-mail and won 500,000.00 pouns.

Sweet.

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Gordon 'to sacky' Wacky Jacqui

Scott
Paris Hilton

Will this change

NuLabours idea of a totalitarian society, probably not.

But let's be honest we'll all be raising a glass to the Wacky and her departing back, Feel sorry for her husband though as he'll be seeing a lot more of her (and a lot less porn.

PH - cause i can.

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ISPs frosty on Jacqui's comms surveillance plan

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Simple

If i was an ISP i'd tell them that if they can't even work out there expenses correctly what chance the good old Gov.UK has there figures right?

2 billion over 10 years seems peanuts and good old Jacki running around blindly as usual when it comes to the internet thinks this will cover it ( and when it turns out that it will cost 10 times this amount who foots the bill, oh yer me because she was so stupid and did her usual and ignored all sound advice and did it anyway) does anyone know who gives these nutters these ideas?

The best news i heard though was good old Gordo is staying on i say keep him for the next 20 years as no one will vote for a party run by this spineless idiot, Vote Green, Free the Weed!!!!

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Level 3 wilts in London sunshine (again)

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Muppets

Muppets, nuth said, innit.

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Wikipedia bans Church of Scientology

Scott
Paris Hilton

Co$ (yes laughing at you not with you)

"The vast majority of what I read on Wikipedia is rumor and slander. The whole purpose of Scientology knowledge application and procedure is to increase an individual’s understanding and awareness of himself as a spiritual being and to rehabilitate his native abilities and potential."

HaHaHaHa thats just brilliant but if i give you $$$$$ what is the assurance that i'll find my spiritual awareness, native abilitys and potential. Because as they say photos/linkz or it didn't happen.

I'll be honest with you i think i'd find more spiritual awareness, native abilitys and potential in the GoGo bars in Thailand than in some cult.

And PS the Same as Gordon Brown thinking he's the best PM in history doesn't make it fact, same as the good old Co$ thinking its a religion (your a money gradding cult (yes one up from a death cult but not by much)).

PPS what is Co$ hell? maybe your an evil reli-goon and the Church of Physicology is the good to your evil? or the church of Mathematicology? Church of alternative-remedysology? Church of i'm-stupid-and-have to-much-money-ology?

PPPS does that make Ron L Hubbard (below par Sci-Fi writer) your equvilant of Jesus?

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Irish politico in Facebook jub-rub outrage

Scott

PR Guy

If i was her PR guy, i'd slap a 'Vote for me!' on the bottom of the photo and get it up around town.

She'd win in a land slide.

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iPhone apps - the 10 smartest and the 10 stupidest

Scott
Alert

@@AppJail

Does the iPhone come with a world map in it? or does it cost? how good is it? will it tell me where the nearest go-go bar is in bangkok or should i just ask someone walking past? is the data plan world wide?

Just asking because my phones 10 years old and i was looking to up-grade, a friend of mine got one at the weekend and for the money and contract he has to pay, i think he was ripped off?

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More doubts on ID card readers

Scott

BOFH

Finally we find out that the BOFH and PFY work for the home office

Boss "So this new ID system that you have installed for billions of pounds, what type of security checks does the card use to prove it is valid"

BOFH "Well we've employed the latest in cutting edge cloudsy 2.0 twitter cattle probe technology of the highest secruity"

Boss "And what would that be?"

PFY "you flick it with you finger nail and it makes a sound"

And although the El Reg readers can get on soap boxes with stories like this (me included) its good to see form the comments here that we can all laugh at the billions of pounds of our money spent on the latest technology like this. Keep up the good work El Reg comment-kings.

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Scott
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Thats the trouble

On my ID (driving licence) the only way of chekcing it is to look at the picture and then my face, much better to roll out a whole new system costing billions that no one wants so that the unreliable way of looking at a picture of me is removed and replaced with a chip that'll be hacked and cloned in months.

Surprised they don't just stamp a SID onto everyones forehead and have done with all this.

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Taxpayer coughs for AOL Connie's flat

Scott
Paris Hilton

Rules

If i hear one more MP say it was in the rules......

Its also in the RULES that hackney cabs must carry around a bail of hay for there horses (arse-about-tit example but you get the idea) but common sense is used by taxi drivers and the police with this RULE, shame MPs didn't show the same common sense, then again if you leave children in charge of there dinner money they will generally spend it on other things than what they should.

Funny thing is a guy at my work got caught fiddling the expenses he got fired straight away and the police where called in and he only fiddle a few hundred quid.

PH - cause she likes to fiddle things like an MP.

And someone needs to point out to these idiots just because teh speaker left doesn't mean there all in the clear now.

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Billy Bragg: Three-strikes lobbying is 'shameful'

Scott
Coat

Music Industry LoL

There buisness model failed when CDs fell out of fashoin and they couldn't charge 12.99 for a CD that cost 20p to make.

Funny thing is if you can't handle change you get left behind, i'm guessing the music industry will realise this when they crash and burn.

Anyone know what the big players quaterly profit margin's where, i'm guessing its going down every quarter, best not tell them there in the entertainment industry and there one of the worst hit in a recession.

Mines the one with the tape cassettes in the pocket with the label copied off radio 1.

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Government rejects Lords' surveillance criticism

Scott
Paris Hilton

Simple

Its simple, they can run full survallience on you without any control, do not have to tell you and probably don't need another above a suspision (just ask any Photographer what the ruling classes call suspicious or the people that had anti-terror laws used against them because they let there dog poop on a footpath) to use full Surveillance powers. I'm guessing they just keep tabs on you until you break one of the 1000's of new laws NuLabour has introduced then can turn round and say "see we used these powers correctly".

The only thing stopping them putting chips in everyones head is they know there so incompetent that they'd get hacked even before they where implanted into the first drone.

Why doesn't good old Gordo and Wacki just throught the Magna Carter on the road outside number 10 and pee on it. (sorry if you are now thinking of Wacki in an inappropriate pose)

PH because see's the only person that wants to be followed around all day having everything recorded that they do.

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Expenses row MPs warned to change cash card PINs

Scott

@MPs under paid

HaHaHa you sound like someone else i know but hes an expert at lying and cheating the good old BOFH.

If you think 60K a year is penuts then you've living in a dream world me and most of the people i know are either out of work, losing there job, being told to take a pay cut or find another job and to earn 60K a year would take 3 or 4 years in full time employment.

I feel your just as bad as the MPS if you are defending them, i say march them down the nearest housing estate and ask them if they deserve 60K a year + expenses.

I'm sorry but you do honestly make me sick defending this when by the end of the year 3,000,000 people will probably be without a job, but if i'm a politician its alright to swindle ten of thousands of pounds out the tax payer, as i said disgusting.

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Aussie censors implement six degrees of separation policy

Scott
Dead Vulture

@Scott by Scott

Something a miss here i got your logon but i am in blighty not the US?

Is there an Ozzie Scott around maybe a house or wife swap is in order?

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Scott
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Great

Great the only way i can think of old Wacki beating this is to ban all web sites with images on incase they are offensive to someone.

(Should i give her ideas)

Or a username on your ID card that you have to use everytime you 'logon' to the internet.

Or just banning the internet full stop (this may happen when the labour govt don't give up power at the next election (George W Bush election for the labour party anyone)).

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Home Office to keep innocent DNA samples

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Maths

Was wondering if there was the maths to show wacki how, well not evil, lets say damaging she is :-

Defence budget / monitoring of Uk public < 1 = Surveillance society

International budget / monitoring of UK citizens < 1 = Surveillance society

something like that anyway......

Oh and to Jacki just 'No', innocent people are INNOCENT.

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Kebabs pose 'no danger whatsoever', Russians claim

Scott

@A J Stiles

Give me ten pints of larger and a kebab and i'll out pi*s any vegan.

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Pig plague and Twitter: The terrifying truth

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Come on guys

I'm a cold heartless bastard and was wondering if i could make money out the hysterical media dupped unwashed with this swine flu, maybe a web site that tells you how to make your own Swine Flu vaccine but have to pay? a magic box that produces a noise to scare pigs away?

When pig sickness kills more people than alcohol then i might start running around in circles worrying.

Is that my boss heading towards the lift? back in a minute bugger refused my pay raise.

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Phorm boss blogs from a dark, dark place

Scott

Privacy Pirates..

..If he had a straight face when he blogged this then hes more crazy than i thought. Irony its a form of wit he seems to of gotten backwards.

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Yorkshire man wakes up Irish after brain surgery

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Jamaican Granny

Wasn't there a granny that woke up after a smack on the noggin and spoke with a Jamaican accent.

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UK.gov to spend £2bn on ISP tracking

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Paper

Old face ache jacki just brought a large slice of a paper company as i still think its against the law to open good old fashion mail. Amazing the most private way to send data soon will be to write it on a piece of paper (until its legal (like this would stop this goevrment) to open your letters looking for 1 of the millions of terorist we see every day, oh wait its just Proper gander that theres a terrorist in every community, just ask the 12 blokes arrest the other week, well done Jacki on that one as well),

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Swine flu apocalypse: Batten down the hatches

Scott
Coat

Good Line

"Hey love this here mobile phone has a swine flu tester embedded in it and it says that you have caught the diease, please read this articles in the Daily Fail and realise you are about to drop dead from it and a quicky in the alley maybe your last chance (satifaction not guaranteed)."

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Go, Brown, go!

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Twitter

Does everyone thats not signing it have to tell everone, can't you put it on your twitter and not here?

(Heres a clue thats why the site is broken into diffrent catagorys, if you only want IT stories just read the IT stories its not hard when the TV news runs a fluff(y) story at the end of the program i turn my TV off because i'm a gruppy man, simply).

So all grumpy people i don't need to know your not signing a petition.

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Jedi officers enlist with Scottish police

Scott
Paris Hilton

Been doing this for 10 years

I've been a practicing Jedi for 10 years now, still stuck on step one of the path to enlightenment, can't seem to get that light sabre the right colo(u)r as it always seems to be pink and when squaring up to Darth Vader pink just doesn't cut it.

PH - She likes pink light sabres as well.

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MPs call for inquiry into Tory terror arrest

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Leak

Well the leaks stopped so why worry about if it was legal or not to stomp through parliment with your big boots on.

My neighbour keeps putting out rubbish the night before collection wonder if i report to the police that its radioactive they'll sort it out without warrants or proof as well.

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Phorm director advises UK.gov broadband minister

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Robots

I'm the same in my job we never discuss things at work that are not relivant to our job even if we have knowledge on another subject that could influence people.

Hey i just got a lot of cheap watches from China and have the contacts so that it is law that all people have to have cheap watches so they are not late for there re-education seminars starting up soon but i'm a moral person and would never abuse this position for finacal gain. Who do you think i am a politician/Share holder?

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G20 Summit: All the action caught on camera

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Wheres wally

Is that wally i see standing on the stairs with an AK because he stands out?

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Israelis' invulnerable, 60-tonne robot bulldozer force to double

Scott
Dead Vulture

One sided arguments

All people disagreeing with Matt if you can stop just slinging mud and name calling and take your time to express your view maybe people may take a little more serious your comments, as the general El Reg reader has a brain (well that is until they read the BOFH and realise its Friday and time for the pub) on there shoulders (working in the IT industry generally but not always requires a brain) then i may listen, until then i'm sorry i may not agree with everything Matt says as the IDF are not angels but he makes very valid points and if i'm making my own mind up i'm going with the well thought out response and not the 'your an idiot post'.

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Wacky Jacqui spanked by husband

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Proof

Proof if needed that Earl Hickey is Jesus!!!!

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Jacqui Smith pulls in another TV psych in violence probe

Scott

Another one

Are another expert the goverment emplyees to giv ethem advice so they can then go and totally ignore it because it doesn't promote the lose of Liberties throught terrorism or pedophiles.

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Police ad urges: 'Trust no one'

Scott

Just realised

If you can seee in someones bin they have over filled it and thats a £120 fine and a criminal record as far as i'm aware?

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Scott
Black Helicopters

@Cameron Colley

If you report a true crime to the police more often than not nothing will be done about it as in the past year me and a few people i know have had to report crime to the police but nothing was ever done after the report was filed, they did not even contact me or the other people back to follow up or inform us the case had been dropped but as the article says report your neighbour for having too many hair products in there bin and the terrorist police will be round to kick the door in on there lovely over-time.

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Bush Obama sides with RIAA in P2P fight

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@A/C Get Over It

I bet its not $10,000 a song if he just stole a CD from a seven?

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Police law-interpretation: What next?

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Can see the point

When i was attacked by the manager and door man of a pub in my area and i reported it to the police even though they had CCTV proving i was quietly having a drink when i was dragged out side and assult the police did nothing so i don't see the point of this as even when they have CCTV they can't be botherted to do there job.

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ID and Passport Service brings in ad men

Scott
Black Helicopters

Our money

Can everyone please stop saying "our/my money" when talking about taxes, Mr Brown spent "our/my" money years ago and is now having to print more money just to fill the hole he created. and Wacki Jacki spends on her home in London (was going to rent my sisters flat like Jack-boot-Jacki but £750,00 a year rent seems a bit much to me).

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Grand Theft Auto IV add-in censors original game

Scott
Paris Hilton

Moneys worth

Hope i can still get my $250 in the Triangle club.

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Kaspersky hacker: Database exposed for days

Scott

@Fuzzy Wotnot

You been hit with the good publicity stick? its hard and hurts more than the bad publicity stick, thats why todays papers are full of c*ap.

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Wrong kind of winter brings England to a halt

Scott

@Mark

You could write the best article ever written but if only idiots comment (usually the normal people are actually working, making up for the lazy people that sit and write comments on the Interwedz) then your s**t out of luck with the whinging.

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UFO wind turbine prang site: Exclusive photos

Scott
Alien

Missed the story

I missed this story as i was out the country so what news did the goverment sneak out when this story broke? as theres nothijng like a UFO sighting/death of someone to sneak bad news out.

Did they get the insurance details of the UFO or is the tax payer liable again?

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Jacqui calls Vodafone man to run massive snoop database

Scott
Coat

I'm confused

...a number ending in Billion just so the unelected goverment can see who i've talked to, if they just asked me i can show 'em my itemised bill for say 10 million if they want?

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Human rights court rules UK DNA grab illegal

Scott

Wacki Jacki

Her year keeps getting worse and worse, after her orwellian police force abuse the power shes given 'em by raiding MPs offices (she didn't know what they wehere doing, yer right!) now the European Courts are telling her off, shame she will not listen.

Could El Reg show a picture of our favorite gal from a year ago so i can compare her to one of my bosses? hes just started in his job and hes as incompetent as her and i'd like ot see what he'll look like after soime time in the job also making a complete balls up of it?

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Tell Santa to bring more assault rifles

Scott

@sighs

But you can still buy assult rifles or semi-automatic assult rifles (which fire 3 bullets at one pull of the trigger i think)? i will point back to my first question why are these needed? home prtection? hunting? russkys? squirrels? and i don't think you can compare a car to a gun as one is designed to kill people and the other is for transport might as well compare chalk with say cheese. You're better off asking why by a gun that can hold 20 bullets when a clip (think thats right) with 10 will quite as happyly kill you loved one?

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Scott

Always confused

I am always confused by the need to own enough hardware to take down the next town, who are the enemy that are taking over the good old US of A?

I can accept a gun or 2 for hunting and at a push as the "baddies" have guns maybe having a home protection gun? but what does anyone need an assult rifle for?

Don't get me wrong i'm sure if all the UK owned guns wacki jacki would have to think twice before locking us all up in interment camps but i'm sure it would only be a split second hesitation as here starzy style police are happy to shoot unarmed electricians no questions asked.

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There's gold in green: profiting from climate change

Scott
Coat

Title

And once the good old Gov has made all this above board and these companies are raking in billions, how many jobs for the boys will this create?

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New terror guidelines on photography

Scott
Coat

Light, tunnel

There is one light at the end of the tunnel with no one allowed to take photos ever again and Journos being locked up with opposition MPs maybe this is the end of the tabloids (hooray) and it only took our complete lose of libertys, now that wasn't so bad now was it?

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Judge throws out case against journo bugged by police

Scott

Its POME

@Alan Fisher Its POME - Prisoner of Mother England - but i'm still jealous as its summer downunder.

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