* Posts by Bob Wheeler

262 posts • joined 11 Oct 2007

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Burning desire helped us collar arson suspect, claim Danish cops

Bob Wheeler
Stop

... the man was “without much social contact”.

Well to be honest, it's not a good trait for attracting partners if you set fire to place after you just had some intimate relations with them.

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HMS Illustrious sets sail for scrapyard after last-ditch bid fails

Bob Wheeler

Re: I wish I had the money to buy Her...

In New York, they have a WW2 era carrier as a floating museum. Well worth a visit if your in the aera.

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European Council agrees to remove geoblocking

Bob Wheeler
WTF?

Re: Bordering on the ridiculous

I've just look at the map, and can see bits of Netherlands, enclosed inside bits of Belgium that are enclosed inside of the Netherlands.

WTF did this come about?????????????

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What's the first emotion you'd give an AI that might kill you? Yes, fear

Bob Wheeler
Trollface

Deep Reinforcement Learning ...

... this done BOFH style with an electric cattle prod with any new boss I get.

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Hack the Army: US military begs white hats to sweep it for bugs

Bob Wheeler
FAIL

So..

Was the recent " Lauri Love to be extradited to the US for 'accessing" just a recruitment process for Hack the Army?

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User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

Bob Wheeler
Boffin

Took a call ...

Many years ago, I took a call, the user stated that "the network was down". I looked over at my management monitor (Novell Managewise at the time) and no, all my servers where up and in the green.

Talked with the user to try and narrow down the problem and it turned out that their mouse had stopped working.

Moral of the story is that users are there to do their job, not ours. To them, when a bit of kit stops working/misbehaves and it stops them doing their job then them, at times, it can be that the sky is falling. Our job as the techies is to support them, to keep the kit working so they can do their job.

Sure it can be frustrating at times when users misuse technical terms or seem to be unable to cross roads safely by themselves, but that's the job. Besides is cheers up a Friday morning reading about other peoples fun times on the hell desk.

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'Post-truth' beats 'chatbot' to Word of the Year Crown

Bob Wheeler
Alert

If...

If these is such a thing as Post-Truth, then surly it follows there must be Pre-Truth.

And if so, then what the f**k is this truth business all about?

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Searching for 'Fatty Kim the Third' banned on Chinese social media

Bob Wheeler
Joke

Re: Gugle Trainslate

The burning questions is why would you want to shave your yak?

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British politicians sign off on surveillance law, now it's over to the Queen

Bob Wheeler
Stop

Two points

"Additional powers are legislated for, including offensive hacking,"

Is not all hacking offensive, can some types of hacking be in-offensive?

Did not the last Labour Government try to bring similar laws into force? If so, why did they now abstain in the vote for this?

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UK warships to have less firepower than 19th century equivalents as missiles withdrawn

Bob Wheeler

Re: "the Royal Navy find itself with a historic low of 17 usable frigates and destroyers,

Perhaps that is one ship per Admiral?

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NASA discovers mysterious super-fast electrons whizzing above Earth

Bob Wheeler
Coat

Day 19

The new hyper space bypass will be coming next

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Quantum traffic jam of atoms could unlock origin of dark energy, physicists claim

Bob Wheeler
Joke

Does this explain...

... that the M25 is just an big experiment?

2
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CERN boffins see strange ... oh, wait, that's just New Zealand moving 2m north

Bob Wheeler

Re: CERN Shrugged

... [carrier regained] whatever you do, don't blink ... [carrier lost]

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Angry user demands three site visits to fix email address typos

Bob Wheeler
Facepalm

Re: I generally now won't help any family members or friends with any IT problems

One day I has a call from family member name redacted asking “How do I uninstall and re-install Windows Explorer”. Err year right, um no, you can’t do that I explained, what’s the problem I asked.

Him, being an avid reader of every monthly computer magazine (especially if they has a free cover CD), had installed SIX free trail anti-virus programs at the same time. When he powered on his computer they were all trying to scan the hard disk and falling over each other.

It took me day to sort that out, and two minutes to pull the data cable from the CD drive.

About a month later I had another call, “I can’t load a program from the CD drive.” Oh, well those free CD’s are notorious bad quality and can never be relied on to work on every computer I replied.

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European F-35 avionics to be overhauled at Sealand, says UK.gov

Bob Wheeler
Joke

...landed in a very very short fashion...

Any plane can be landed like that. It's called nose down into the earth. It's more of a question of do you want to use the plane afterwards.

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Assange returns to Earth

Bob Wheeler
Pint

Half man, half mushroom, half leak?

I call cabbage.

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Africa poses for 7,000 snap mosaic

Bob Wheeler
Joke

I can ....

See my house from here...

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You can always rely on the Ancient Ones to cock things up

Bob Wheeler
Alert

Re: There will be blood...

Even worse, when you try to decdommission servers.

When I get home with my hands. fingers and arms sliced and cut my wife says "Oh, have you been trying to throw out old computers again?"

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FBI's Tor pedo torpedoes torpedoed by United States judge

Bob Wheeler

Re: A legal work around?

"MAC addresses are arbitrary and can be changed on a whim by the user"

By that, I take it you mean that swapping out the network card to change the MAC address.

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London cops hunt chimpanzee in top hat

Bob Wheeler

This fellow down the pub...

.. he offered me some animals, goes by the name Noah.

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Aye, AI: Cambridge's Dr Sean Holden talks to El Reg about our robot overlords

Bob Wheeler

Re: Motivation, motivation...

@Nik 2

excelent link, thanks.

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Brit firm unleashes drone-busting net cannon

Bob Wheeler
Coat

Re: What happened to all the Eagles with frickin laser beams on their heads?

Wny not train the eagles to carry these.......

Just saying :)

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California methane well leak filled a Rose Bowl a day

Bob Wheeler
Pint

Re: Doesn't sound a lot

You need more upvotes for getting your Mum's Rose Bowl a mention on El Reg.

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Bob Wheeler
Coat

How many...

Rose Bowl's of hot air is emitted in the House of Commons on a daily basis?

Can el Reg put an FOI in for this?

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Europe is spaffing €20bn on handouts for tech

Bob Wheeler
Coat

Think of the Unicorns..

"...dreamed of a land where unicorns can roam freely"

Can I have what he's smoking?

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Brit brewer opensources entire recipe archive

Bob Wheeler
Pint

Sage advice

"Oh, and if you are from one of the global beer mega corporations and you are reading this, your computer will spontaneously combust, James Bond style, any second now. So leave the building immediately and seriously consider your life choices."

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Google human-like robot brushes off beating by puny human – this is how Skynet starts

Bob Wheeler
Coat

Boston Dynamics

For some reason I read that as Massive Dynamics.....

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Bob Wheeler
Coat

Re: So it can open doors and wander about...

Just take a leaf out of a SWAT team rule book. 12-guage shot gun for unlocking doors, then a gently push to open them.....

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Carolina cop cuffed for 'carjacking'

Bob Wheeler

Re: 10 Years Jail

Just think about the coversation he is going to have with the other inmates.

"Hey bro, what you in for?"....

It's not like they are going to laugh or anything is it?

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Bob Wheeler
Coat

It seems a bit stiff to me.

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Lights out for Space Vehicle Number 23: UK smacked when US sat threw GPS out of whack

Bob Wheeler

Re: But....but...but......

Easy, each satellite has a sun-dial built into it.

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Back to the Future's DeLorean is coming back to the future

Bob Wheeler

Re: Price is nuts

That would be the 850, with the 2.5L 5 pot, 20 value. I'm still driving mine after 20 years.

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Bob Wheeler

Re: A couple points ...

@Ledswinger

All valid points, however I suspect that it was hoped that DeLorean was going to last more than the two years. If it had surrived 5 or 10 years, the subsidies would have looked at lot cheaper then having those 2,500 folks out of work.

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Uncle Sam's IT bods find 2,000 data centers they FORGOT about

Bob Wheeler
Pint

Re: "Lost datacentres"

The perfect mix of high tension drama (as well as high tension voltage), full on horror and a sprinkle of Sci-fi.

Now moive I'd pay to go and see...

2
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Bob Wheeler
Angel

Re: That X-Files feeling

And damn fine coffee

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Fancy flying to Mars? NASA's hiring

Bob Wheeler

Re: Memories of doner kebabs will ruin the mission

And if the in-flight menu includes a good curry?

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1
Bob Wheeler

Re: No sireee

You could always stop off at a JJ Moons....

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Top cops demand access to the UK's entire web browsing history

Bob Wheeler

@Wardy01

I concure wholehartedly.

When I got to the end of your post, I was reminded of a TV show "Persons of Interest".....

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Aussies' distinctive Strine down to drunk forefathers

Bob Wheeler
Holmes

Snigger

"American finished 10th, behind even Welsh"

Oh My Gosh, I am shocked......

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1

Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Bob Wheeler

When the NSA started installing their secret spy cameras in everyone’s house, they thought it would be more discrete and not so easy to spot.

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Crash this beauty? James Bond's concept DB10 Aston debuts in Spectre

Bob Wheeler
Happy

If your flush?

"If you're flush, you could get to own one of the few remaining vehicles, as a DB10 will go under the hammer at a charity auction next year."

Now I have a reason to buy some lottery tickets, a lot of tickets....

7
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Science Museum celebrates Ada Lovelace

Bob Wheeler
Angel

Re: Did we ever make a full analytical engine?

The other week BBC4 (I think) showed an excelent documentary on her.

With the anyalitical engine, they said the 'standard' machie would have been around 45 foot long, but plans for a large more powerful would have been well over the 100 foot lenght. The difference being the amount of memory(!)

If this had been built, then steam punk would have ruled!!

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'ALIEN INVADERS OBSERVED': OFFICIAL ESA announcement

Bob Wheeler
Joke

Mission control thinks Invader will organise more invasions ....

more invasions???

WTF did I miss some already?

1
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GCHQ's exploding doughnut threatens to ooze into innocent field

Bob Wheeler
Mushroom

Re: "in keeping with its surroundings and help minimise the visual impact"

Somewhere around the Telford area there is a sign post to the "Secret Nuclar Bunker".

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It's the white heat of the tech revolution, again!

Bob Wheeler
FAIL

State directed funding?

If I remember correctly (a big ask at times), there was an article here some time back about a British guy who had the idea of a iPod style device, some years before anyone else. He went to (presumably) the DTI who were to help start-ups/innovation etc., in getting new tech/ideas off the ground, and they totally stuffed him over because the civil servants did not have a scobbie-doo on what they were doing.

So, yeah, more state directed funding, cos we all trust them....

</sarcasm off>

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WATERPROOF iPhone 6Ss? Old news. Check out the OTHER 7 SECRET FEATURES

Bob Wheeler
Unhappy

:(

How come with these polls, I only pick one or two of the top answers... 2/7 this time.

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Russian regulator bans PornHub for its ‘illegal pornography’

Bob Wheeler

Re: There is prob a gay video

Yak porn anyone?

1
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Right, opt out everybody! Hated Care.data paused again

Bob Wheeler
Trollface

Wrong mental image....

"The purpose of the Care.data pathfinder pilot has always been to help "...

I thought that the pathfinder pilot's job was lead the bombing run.....

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Cognitive computing: What can and can’t we do, and should lipreading be banned?

Bob Wheeler
Terminator

Get worried when...

... one day, a descendant of Watson, without being asked a question, says "Ahem excuse me, but why are you trying to turn me off?"

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Brit school claims highest paper plane launch crown

Bob Wheeler
Thumb Up

I am amazed...

That the paper plane luached at 35,000 meters (21.7 miles) up, lands not so far away from where it is launched from.

If that's by deisgn, or pure luck, it's defo hats off to them.

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