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* Posts by Bob Wheeler

74 posts • joined 11 Oct 2007

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NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'

Bob Wheeler

Re: US Immigration

On the half-dozen times I've been to the US, they have always had a significant lack of humour.

On one trip they where very perplexed that my wife was travelling under her maiden name - we had only been married a year at that point and she hadn't renewed her passport. They just couldn't get their heads around that one.

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Bob Wheeler

Re: We know, you know.

Some years back, at the immigration desk I got asked "Have you been to <some US city> on such <date>", I said no, and the guy just said "OK thanks, enjoy your vacation".

I never knew what prompted such a specific question, and the guy did not seem much bothered by my anwser.

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Cave pits, ideal for human bases, FOUND ON MOON

Bob Wheeler
Alien

How to get funding...

... from TV advertising the latest fad extreme sport : Luna Pot-holing.

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Spinning SPACE DUCK is comet-chasing Rosetta probe's PREY

Bob Wheeler
Pint

Just an idea but.....

67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko is a bit of a mouthful, how about we re-name it to something like Howard?

But still, beers all round chaps.

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Elon Musk GIVES UP ON SEX: He'll make do with a 'cheap' Tesla III instead

Bob Wheeler
WTF?

Car Names/Model Numbers

I;ve heard stories over the years about one side geting upset by another using a similar model number etc.

But I always wonders how come Volvo with thier 850 range, and BWM with their?

I know they are VERT different beasts but still....

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Sit back down, Julian Assange™, you're not going anywhere just yet

Bob Wheeler
FAIL

Twisted logic : Fail

"Assange's lawyers argued that the Swedish arrest warrant should be thrown out because it cannot be enforced while Assange is holed up in the Ecuadoran embassy"

It can't be enforced becuase the guy is on the lamb.

How can any lawer keep a stright face when putting forward this faulty twisted logic?

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German NSA probe chief mulls spy-busting typewriters

Bob Wheeler
Big Brother

Steampunk?

Following on from some of the Snowden leaks/reports it is niegh on impossible to be certain that a modern PC does not have any covert backdoor/keylogger/etc either designed and built-in or added during shipping.

So, do you go back to a basic manual typewriter, or perhaps it can a time to devlope a new approach to hi-tech,

Anyone for Steampunk word processing?

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'We screwed up' sighs Sony bigwig after gaming portals collapse in DNS cock-up riddle

Bob Wheeler
Joke

I KNOW HOW THE INTERNET WORKS.

... but I just don't care enough to tell anyone how to fix it.

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Europe's highest court: Apple CAN trademark its retail store layout

Bob Wheeler
WTF?

Depressing => "the layout of a retail store"

Just what do they think they are doing here? How many ways can you layout a retail store? Really, how many ways?

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It's finally happened: Bloke builds BOFH-style goofing-off cattle prod

Bob Wheeler
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Must *bzzz*, spend *bzzz*, less time *bzzz*

New keyboard needed please.

Oh, and some screen wipes.

I have always told tut' management, that "The Register" is in-depth, demanding research, keeping up with industry trends, cross market infussion of ideas, peer-to-peer networking, and just taking the piss out of stuff............

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'iPhone 6' survives FRENZIED STABBING. Truly, it is the JESUS Phone

Bob Wheeler
Paris Hilton

Only in the land of dixie

Over the years I've seen the odd video review where they drop a phone from 5/6ft to simulate dropping your phone on the pavement (sidewalk). Drop it into a bucket of water - to simulate (it's lunch time so I won’t pollute your mind with that mental image - Thank you Steven R - bar-steward), all reasonably average simulations of what might happen to a phone real life.

But an "assault rifle"?

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Manhattan drone pair cuffed for NYPD chopper near miss

Bob Wheeler

My assumptions, which may well be complete shite, but here goes.

#1 The pilot of the PD helicopter, will have a significant amount of training and experience to be allowed to fly over the city at the low level (800ft) that the PD require without crashing/putting the general population at risk.

#2 The pilot, will be keeping a good lookout for other ‘stuff’ around him - to the left and right, above and below, things like other aircraft, skyscrapers, not just stuff in the direction he is heading in.

#3 So the pilot has ‘seen’ the ‘vehicle’, to one side/a little above/a little below, and then at some later point considers it to be in such close vicinity and/or changing direction that he veers off to avoid a mid-air collision.

I’m not sure how close the helicopter and the quad drone where, nor do I know what shade of smelly brown the pilot’s keg’s were afterwards, but I assume they became smelly enough to follow the quad drone, and explain the facts of life to the dim-witted owner.

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Dubai to get HUGE climate-controlled DOMED CITY and giga-mall

Bob Wheeler
Paris Hilton

Re: No worse than Las Vegas, surely?

Las Vegas is a very 'different' place to anywhere else I have ever been to!

Wife and I, walking around the hotels taking in all the sights, as you do. Went looking for the canals - I thought I would get extra points for the romance!! - so I kept saying they must be on the lowest floor, I mean who would build a canal upstairs on the 3rd floor. come on, who builds a canal, with so many million gallons of water on the 3rd floor.... who does that?????

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Fridge hacked. Car hacked. Next up, your LIGHT BULBS

Bob Wheeler
Stop

IMHO

I beg to sugest that the weakness is thinking that people want "Wi-Fi/mesh networked lightbulbs"

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Alabama quadchopper hits THREE THOUSAND FEET next to AIRPORT

Bob Wheeler

@ Neil Barnes Re: The thing is...

Spot on. My understanding of the CAA/FAA etc to provide the saftey for different types of use of Airspace, whether your in A380, a vintage Tiger Moth, your paraglider, hot air ballon etc.

The type of airspace, ATZ's, air corridoors, NOTAM's all allow, (or at least shold allow) everyone to do their thing without endangering anyone else.

I would have thought, that these things would be covered the same way as any other Radio Controllered Model, sure they may have more 'smarts' built in then the old RC models, but they are still RC craft.

This numpty taking to 3,000FT close to a commerical airport is just plain mad.

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DON’T add me to your social network, I have NO IDEA who you are

Bob Wheeler
Pint

Re: @ Evil Auditor

In retrospect, both would work, and you make my piss poor spelling sound more exciting.

Have a beer on me.

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Bob Wheeler
Trollface

@ Evil Auditor

Didn't your mother ever tell you to "play nice" with those poor unfortant souls?

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Bob Wheeler
Pint

"nutters with an unhealthy fixation for Friday-afternoon El Reg columnists"

I take excpetion to that remark.

My Doctor's tell me that my fixation is no unhealthy. Honest.

Is it time for my meds yet nurse?

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The cute things they say

Bob Wheeler
Angel

Two Tales of Woe, and Two of Payback

Woe Tale 1:

I looked after 6 Netware servers in the finance Department when one day I got a call from a user saying "The network is dead, all the servers are dead". I checked the monitor dashboard, all servers showed green. the other phone lines weren’t melting so I told the user "Nah, all is well, but I'll send someone down to check it out". That afternoon, the news came back that the problem was the users mouse had stopped working - ful of fluff warped around the roller ball.

Woe Tale 2:

A user was having a problem unable to remove 3.5inch floppy on his machine. Went along to find out that he had used a floppy in the drive but the metal sliding cover had come off, inside of the drive. So he naturally, instated of reporting it, tried to force another floppy into the drive, thinking that the detached metal sleeve would magically attach itself to the floppy. It didn't work.

Payback 1:

The head boss of the IS/IT section wanted one of these new-fangled PC thingies in his office. So I duly ordered up a top of the line IBM PS/2 Model 30 (that shows how long ago this was)

I set the machine up on my desk, gave the boss a quick demo of the machine working so he was happy. Then moving the machine to his office, set everything up, plugged in all, but on cable. Out of curiosity I wanted to find out how long it would take for him to notice that the power cord was missing. The answer was three years.

Payback 2:

A boss had sent out a memo (paper memo in those days) to all staff saying “no-one is permitted to move/re-arrange their office desks for any reason without my prior written permission”. About a week later, I was working late so went into the boss’s office and cleared the top of his desk, and then turned the desk through 180 degrees and put everything back on his desk. The next morning, there was a very loud scream of pain when his knees hit the wooden back of his desk. The thing that always got me was that the boss was convinced it had to have been two people to pull of this prank, of picking up his desk and turning it like that, to the extent that he came over to me (he knew I had stayed late) and asked me who else worked late the night before. If he ever knew it was me, he never said a word to me about it!

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Boffins lay out 'practical requirements' of 'realistic' QUANTUM COMPUTER

Bob Wheeler
Joke

magic-state distillation?

does it also need the magic mushrooms?

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So, what exactly defines a 'boffin'? Speak your brains...

Bob Wheeler

Re: @Domeyhead

An estate car (station wagon) - taking the equipment to/from the garden shed, most likly a Volvo.

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Bob Wheeler
Coat

Re: definition: applied scientist?

Do they not also need a garden shed to work in?

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Stephen Fry MADNESS: 'New domain names GENERATE NEW IP NUMBERS'

Bob Wheeler
FAIL

Re: Isn't a number that is almost infinite, er, infinite?

When ever the word 'almost' is used, it mean "not quiet" or "less than"

e.g

Q: Are we there yet?

A: Almost there: in other words, not quiet there yet.

Q: Is 0.999 recuring equal to 1.0

A: It almost qual to 1.0: in other words it is less than.

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UK govt 'tearing up road laws' for Google's self-driving cars: THE TRUTH

Bob Wheeler

Re: Intractible problems @DrXm

All good points.

with my crystal ball, I see these things coming in two flavours.

For the car without any controls would be of use in a 'closed' environment, say a city centre, where there is no interaction with any other type of traffic.

The more open type/mixed traffic conditions of auotmated self-driving car will still have all the controls to allow manual driving which can be used for when the computer just can't work what to do.

There is still a lot of work to be done before any of this is even close to a commerical product that would be allowed on the roads in any meaningful volume.

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NSA: Inside the FIVE-EYED VAMPIRE SQUID of the INTERNET

Bob Wheeler

Re: Lets not forget who is to blame

Oh dear, how we forget the past.

Five-Eyes - started in 1940's, not surprisingly trying to figure out what the Germany/Japen where planning. The use "Colossus" machines was a major break-through. Then along came the Cold War. The "Colossus" machine where still being used, now for trying to crack Russian communications. The Echelon system was developed for two reasons, to spy on Russia, and to spy on each of the other Five Eyes (UK spy on US, US spy on UK then swap results), then share the results.

The problem with 9/11 was not that all the TLA's in the US could not monitor comminication, but that they did not SHARE with each other.

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Boffins publish SciFi story to announce exoplanet find

Bob Wheeler
Happy

A Nice touch

I thought the story added a nice light bit of humour, particularly the end.

"Just a word, to let me know that you still care".

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Former Microsoftie becomes US ambassador, opts to swear in on KINDLE

Bob Wheeler
WTF?

Location??

"She took an oath of office on Monday to be sworn in as United States Ambassador to Lichtenstein and Switzerland, ... The oath was made at the American embassy in London"

Why was the oath taken/made in London?

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Oh, wow. US Secret Service wants a Twitter sarcasm-spotter

Bob Wheeler

Re: Do terrorists really tweet about their intended acts?

I can testify to the American lack of humour, at least within the passport control/immigration desk.

I flew into Seattle Airport, it had been a long flight, jet-lag, needing a smoke etc, I gave a 'sarcastic' answer to a standard question. Five hours later I was allowed into the good old US of A.

Britsh Humour does not always travell well......

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DARPA crazytech crew want to create HUMAN-FREE cyber defence systems

Bob Wheeler
Joke

Documentary Films

I was just wondering if that well known documentary 'Swordfish' might help them?

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FORGET OUR PAST, 12,000 Europeans implore Google

Bob Wheeler
WTF?

Am I missing something here?

I don't understand what all this fuss is about.

Goggle is a search engine, they don't hold/control/own the data/information.

So if I was of the opinion that some article/information about me should no longer be viewed by the world, why would I not deal with the ower/hold of the source rather than the search engine.

Getting Goggle to remove something from a search result does not remove the source, or prevent another search engine from returning the result.

Whatever your view on Goggle is, they do not actually own the web. While they are branching our in other areas, basically they are a search engine, that makes money from selling ad's.

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SCIENCE explains why you LOVE the smell of BACON

Bob Wheeler
Flame

Re: Yank my chain

Should also mention that 'Rounders' is mainly played by girls.

Can consider American Football, and compare that with a real game of Rugby.

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SpaceX 'Dragon V2' ROCKET PODULE can hover-land on Earth - or MARS

Bob Wheeler
Pint

Any chance...

.. we could get that nice Mr Musk to develope a 'B' Ark?

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SPB's mountaintop HQ menaced by WOLVES

Bob Wheeler
Pint

An idea..

...why not move the wolves, to some where useful, like Westminster and/or Brussles?

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Sacre BLEURGH: Google thinks London's Victoria station is on the PARIS Metro

Bob Wheeler
Happy

Re: M for

You do know there is a local by-law that states 'talking to stangers on the tube' gets you a £5,000 fine......

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What can The Simpsons teach us about stats algorithms? Glad you asked...

Bob Wheeler
Joke

Re: More, MORE!

I am not a number, I'm a free man

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You know all those resources we're about to run out of? No, we aren't

Bob Wheeler
Black Helicopters

Re: I would argue the situation was even worse

I'll bring the rope.....

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How to catch a fraudster – using 'top cop' Benford and the power of maths

Bob Wheeler
Pint

Re: How to deal with limits? @ Evil Auditor

Umm, been thinking more about this, sad, oh so very sad.

I'm now not so sure about the subtraction side of things and how that might effect the numbers.

While you just moving the trend line to the left, what happens when it crosses the boundary and it moves from the '1' column to the left, and therefor falles into the '9' column.

I like basements, nice and snug, not to many visitors........

Nurse, Is it time for my meds yet?

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Bob Wheeler

Re: How to deal with limits? @ Evil Auditor

I was thinking more about this last night - sad I know.

Given I'm not an accountant, statistican or an auditor, evil or otherwise.

Anyway, if your looking at a set of transtions between 2500.00 and 5000,00 say. The smallist unit that cna change is 1 cent/penny, i.e. 2500.00 next value is 2500.01.

So if you then multiple by 100, to get to whoel number.

Next to look at the conecpt of limits, I thought that if muiltpling is OK (i.e. does not dsiruput the use of Benford's law) then why not divide. As the lowest limit 250000, then use that, but then I thought more and that would leave us with everything in the range of 1 and 2, not very helpful.

So why not subtraction, you can't use the lower limit as potentional you get Zero, for some transactions.

So howabout subtracting 249999 from each trancation. This would leave everything in the range of 1 upto 250001.

By the time you then only look at the leading digit would/should fit into Benford's Law?

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Bob Wheeler
Go

Re: How to deal with limits?

Read the link from the article to the the Journal of Accounting, and it talks about checking that situation.

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Urinating teen polluted 57 Olympic-sized swimming pools - cops

Bob Wheeler
Pint

Re: No way near Homeopathic standards..

"Quantum Mechanical Interpretation"

I'm going to make this my new catch all responce to any question at work.

Boss: "Hey, did the backups work last night?"

Me: "Quantum Mechanical Interpretation says that if I check then they might have, or might not have. So to be safe I won't look."

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Bob Wheeler

Re: Some one else needs to be charged ...

What I want ot know is where did all that ''flushed' water go?

It would appear to be quiet a lot of it.......

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Where are your rich friends? Facebook's Zuck sued for NOT BEING SOCIAL ENOUGH

Bob Wheeler

Re: According to his lawyer, the sweetener wasn’t in a written contract,

According to Judge Judy, if it ain't written in the contract, then it ain't in the contract.

trying to prove a verbal agreement is hard, very hard as it will just boil down to a "he said/she said".

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Now that's PROPER SCIENCE: Boffins teach robo-arm to catch flying beer bottle

Bob Wheeler
Thumb Up

Impressive

Have to say, as one with bad hand/eye corrdination, this is impressive, especially the tenis racket.

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Fix capitalism with floating cities on Venus says Charles Stross

Bob Wheeler

Re: Weights and Measurements

"Now try climate modelling with particles (people)"

Was this not the basis of the Issac Azimov 'Foundation' books?

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The IT Crowd tops BAFTA nominations with four nods

Bob Wheeler
Coat

Re: Have you tried

and before that it was

"Go into BRS mode."

From the original IBM PC's era.

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No, Minister. You CAN'T de-Kindle your eBooks!

Bob Wheeler
FAIL

Re: "in likelihood unconstitutional"

/joke section

I wonder if the any of the guys that wrote this was named Gordon? If so, there was asong about him – hint search for “Jilted John” circa 1978

/joke section off

Seriously, the use of “statutory instruments” is just a very lazy way of making law. There is no oversight or scrutiny before it hits the plebs.

If they want to change a law, repeal the old law and introduce a new Act under Primary Legislation.

/rant off

Just as well these guys aren’t running the country, oh wait……

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Feds land first convictions over pirated mobile apps

Bob Wheeler

Re: "fighting intellectual property crime a top priority"

Allowing for each country's view on "intellectual property rights" and the legal aspects of them differ greatly.

My own opinon is that they should be a civil matter rather than a criminal matter.

And yes, if I was a creative type, be it a application, or music, or anything else, I would not take it well if some other person, or company made use of my creation without my permission.

My point, maybe not well put over, was on the quote of the "top priority". If soneone was mugged, beaten up, their house was burgled, shot/stabbed etc, which of these should be a priority?

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Bob Wheeler
WTF?

"fighting intellectual property crime a top priority"

Well, of course this is more important then fighting real crime........

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Boffins working on debris float models to track MH370 wreckage

Bob Wheeler

How do Autopilot systems work?

A general question.

If you set up a route on an AP, what happens when you get to the end point, assuming it does not auto-land?

Do you fly in a circle or just keep going in the same direction until you run out of fuel?

On my cay SatNav, once you get to where you are going, it basically stops giving directions even if you keep driving onwards. So in an aircraft, if the AP thinks you have 'arrived' would it stop controlling the aircraft?

Bob

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Tony Benn, daddy of Brit IT biz ICL and pro-tech politician, dies at 88

Bob Wheeler

TSR2/Concorde

If I remember rightly, the TSR2 super-sonic bomber was cancelled by Mr Benn. Much of the technology went on to be used in Concorde.

As mentioned by others above, while I did not like his politics, I do respect him for his intellect and honest approach. Something you can;t say oftern, if at all about many folks in the 'bubble' nowadays

RIP

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